Page 38 of Ctrl+Alt Submit

ERROL

“ W hen are you boys staying until?” Allyson asks.

I flick my eyes up from pouring coffee into two mugs on the counter.

One of them says “World’s Best Dad;” the other is kind of lumpy and covered with clumsily-painted flowers.

I guess it’s supposed to make it look handmade; maybe by a kid?

But the bottom has a neatly typewritten label warning against putting the mug in the microwave, so I know I’m not looking at some art-class project of Ran’s from back in the day.

It’s kind of a relief. I’m glad I don’t have to feel a tug of sentimentality towards this ugly thing just because Ran made it. Because if he had, I definitely would.

I respond to Allyson with a shrug, out of habit more than anything else. After I put the coffee pot back and stir two giant spoonfuls of sugar into Ran’s, I look up to realize she’s studying me as she sits at the table with her coffee.

“Have a seat.” She motions to the chair across from her. “If you wouldn’t mind. Ran can come fetch his own coffee.”

“No, I don’t mind,” I lie.

“What are you doing with yourself these days?”

“I manage a bar in town —you might remember it, actually. Finnegan’s Wake?”

She nods. “That’s good.” Into the silence that follows, I feel myself shrinking.

“I mean, it’s obviously not a career job. Not like Ran’s. I’m never going to —” I cut myself off before I say too much or say something wrong, giving my head a quick shake instead to imply all of the different ways to say he’s successful and I’m not .

“Why didn’t you ever talk to anybody besides him?” she asks out of the blue.

I guess I should have expected this question sooner or later. I can hear how heavy my sigh is, so I’m sure Allyson can, too.

“I realized it hurt less to not say anything — to not ask for anything in the first place — than to be ignored. If I tried to say something, or ask for something — being just completely ignored screwed with my head after a while. I felt like I was invisible, or like I didn’t exist. I knowthat’s stupid and doesn’t make any sense, but as a kid, it was the best thing I could come up with. ”

Something in Allyson’s expression sharpens. It looks weirdly familiar. An instant later, I realize why: It’s the same look Ran gives me sometimes.

“It wasn’t my place to comment or judge how anyone else raised their child —Lord knows I made plenty of mistakes myself —but your parents didn’t do right by you, honey,” she says gently.

“I know they had a lot of hard things, a lot of heartbreak, but that didn’t excuse the way they…

discarded you.” She looks directly into my eyes.

“You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“Thank you,” I mumble, dropping my gaze.

“It wasn’t my place to tell you that as a child, but as an adult, I think it’s important that you hear that. Our family has always been open to you. That’s certainly not going to change.”

“Ran was — is —my best friend.” Once I start thinking about him, I find that I can meet her eyes again.

“It was always different with him. He never made me feel ignored or invisible. I never questioned that he meant it when he asked me how I was doing, what I wanted on my pizza, which movie I wanted to see or whatever.I don’t know when I realized it, but Ran was the first person who made me believe that I really existed. ”

“You boys were always so close,” she says, and I remember something.

“Why didn’t you like Eliza?” I ask abruptly.

Allyson’s forehead wrinkles the same way Ran’s does when he’s perplexed. “I’m sorry?”

“When Ran was on the phone with you and said he was coming down here with someone. You asked if that person was Eliza and you didn’t sound happy about it.”

“Oh.” She looks a little surprised before turning a shrewd gaze on me. “I didn’t think she was a good match for my son.”

“Why’s that?”

Allyson studies me for a moment before answering.

“You’ve known Ran for a long time. You know that mind of his —he’s always thinking.

” I nod and she huffs out a laugh devoid of humor.

“I said to him once when he was just a boy, ‘You need to just switch your brain off sometimes, kiddo.’ And he said to me, ‘Mom, I tried, but I just can’t find the off button.’ I was half-joking, but his face was so serious. ”

I can imagine the exchange perfectly, the strained tone of Ran’s voice, the pinch of worry between his brows. Something sharp-edged wraps itself around my chest and squeezes. “Yeah.” My voice comes out husky. “I know.”

“He’s so driven and detail-oriented, but sometimes he gets stressed-out about things that he doesn’t need to worry about to the extent that he does.”

I nod. “Eliza wasn’t good about helping him get out of his own head during those times?”

Allyson gives a shake of her head. “More like fanned the flames. I’m not saying she did it on purpose , mind you —she struck me as being rather high-strung, so I don’t know that she was doing anything maliciously. But she wasn’t good for him at all.”

When I don’t say anything back right away, Allyson grimaces. “I know I can’t control what you do with this information, but I’d appreciate it if it doesn’t get back to Ran.”

“Mm-hmm.” I nod, preoccupied with a thought. “What type of person do you think he does need, then?”

Allyson looks at me without replying for long enough that worries start to creep into my head, but then her face cracks into a slight smile. “Someone who understands him.”

I hear some movement down the hall, running water and a couple of doors closing.

A moment later, Ran comes into the kitchen.

He’s on the phone, glasses on top of his head and annoyance in his voice as he scrubs a hand over his eyes.

I can’t glean from his side of the conversation who’s on the other end of the line.

When he ends the call and exhales a harsh sigh, I let out a low whistle.

“That sounds like it was a terrible wake-up call. What’s up?”

“Oh, Marcus needs me in California,” he says with an exaggerated nonchalance. Allyson and I exchange a glance as our eyebrows go up.

“Now ?” I ask.

“More or less,” he says with a groan.

“At least stay for breakfast, honey,” Allyson says, but Ran waves her off.

“Nah, I need to be out of here soon. I just threw my clothes in the laundry so I have something to wear. I wasn’t planning on back-to-back trips.

” He looks down at his T-shirt and sweatpants and snorts out a laugh. “Might have to buy a sport coat.”

“It’s Silicon Valley. Aren’t you supposed to be able to get away with wearing hoodies and stuff?” I tease.

Ran’s grin emerges at that, and something flutters in my chest. “Would serve them right if I showed up in slept-in sweats,” he mutters.

“So why do you have to go out there? And how long is it for?” I ask. “Oh! Your coffee is there on the counter for you.”

His expression brightens at that. “You’re a lifesaver, baby.

And it should only be a couple of days.” He knocks back half his coffee in one slug and barks out a laugh.

“Kind of ironic that I can’t close the sale of an app that makes managing a remote workforce easier without flying thousands of miles to sign a bunch of stupid forms in person. ”

“That’s ridiculous!” Allyson says.

“You’re telling me,” Ran answers with a groan, plunking down at the breakfast bar. He books a flight that will get him out there by this afternoon, and one to bring me back home.

Twenty minutes later, I’ve just stripped the bed in the spare room like Allyson asked one of us to do before we left when I hear a click. I turn to see Ran, his hand on the doorknob and a gleam in his eye. He puts a finger to his lips and brings his mouth to my ear.

“I told my mom I had to send a couple of emails before we head out,” he murmurs as he starts to unbuckle my belt. “I need to taste you — tide me over until I’m back.” When he catches a glimpse of blue satin, a low growl vibrates in his throat and he practically drags me over to the bare mattress.

I think Ran is going to want me on my back, so he surprises me when he pulls me to a seated position. “Take that big dick out for me,” he commands in a whisper as he sinks to his knees between my legs.

“Oh fuck, Stud,” I breathe as I shove down my underwear.

I don’t even get a chance to ask him what he wants before he takes it, grabbing my cock by the root and sucking the head into his mouth like he’s ravenous for it.

My breathing gets quicker as he runs his tongue around my crown and probes my slit.

I feel rather than hear him moan when he slides his lips down my shaft.

I throw a hand over my mouth to muffle my sounds as Ran devours me.

He moves his hand out of the way so he can take me deep.

He still can’t take my entire length, but he surprises me by coming closer than he ever has before.

I groan into my palm at the sensation of my cockhead pushing against the sides of his throat.

I take my hand away from my mouth. “Holy shit, Ran —have you been practicing?” I say, trying to keep my voice low. He hollows his cheeks as he sucks me on the way up, releasing me softly to keep from making any noise.

After catching his breath for a couple of seconds, he gazes up at me. “You like that, Babydoll? Am I getting better?”

It makes my heart ache in the best way every time he asks me that. “I always love the way you feel,” I murmur, lowering a hand to stroke his hair. “But yes —oh God , yes.”

He flashes me his widest grin. “I know I have some catching up to do, but I really want to be able to take all of this long, thick cock. I’m going to get there —I want to blow your mind when I blow you.”

I chuckle quietly as I bring my mouth down to his ear. “You’re fucking incredible, Stud. What brought this on? You want me to go down on you after?”

Ran gives a quick shake of his head and grimaces. “I don’t think we have time. But do you think you could come pretty soon?” he asks, alternating between speaking and running his tongue around my crown. “I want to make this big, sexy cock explode.”

Just his words make it throb, and I struggle to keep from moaning too loudly. I get an idea and quickly lift my legs so I can scoot back onto the mattress. “C’mere. Gag me with your dick to keep me quiet.”

“ Fuck , that sounds hot.” Ran drops his head so he can moan around my cock before he scrambles to pull his pants down and join me on the bed.

As soon as he gets on his knees in a straddle above me, I lift my head so I can smother myself against his sack.

I rub my nose into soft skin and wiry hair, breathing him in for a few seconds before I change my angle so I can get my mouth on his cock.

My tongue snakes out to lap up the precum that’s already made his cockhead slick and sweet.

I hum in appreciation at the taste and feel him shiver above me.

I don’t know why it never occurred to me to sixty-nine with Ran before, because it’s fucking amazing. I use the bead in my tongue piercing to tease Ran’s slit while he does that feathery thing with his tongue that makes my eyes roll in the back of my head and turns my brain to mush.

I circle my arm around and manage to slip a finger into my mouth to wet it.

I play it over Ran’s hole and his hips buck at the sensation.

He switches to his hand on my dick so he can suck and bite a mark onto my inner thigh.

The primal possessiveness of knowing that Ran wants to stake his claim on my body before we go our separate ways is so hot I groan at the tangle of pleasure and pain that surges through me when he catches my skin between his teeth.

The vibrations of both of our muffled sounds reverberate through our bodies in a feedback loop that rolls both of us closer to the edge.

Ran wraps his hand back around my balls.

He fondles them while spit runs over them as my cock breaches his throat again.

I return the favor, dropping my jaw so I can swallow him whole.

His groan vibrates in my groin. I run my tongue up his shaft and then lift my head, forcing him all the way into the back of my throat as I chase the raw subjugation of having his dick filling me too deeply to even breathe.

My hips thrust up involuntarily and I feel Ran choke, but before I can pull back, he surprises me.

Tightening his grip on my balls, he hilts my cock in his throat.

The intensity of him taking me deep and the sensation of his swallow contracting around my cockhead washes over me.

I feel him groan and his length throbs in my mouth.

The combination of the overpowering sensation and the knowledge that Ran is pushing himself out of his comfort zone just to make me feel good unravels me.

My orgasm rips through me, blasting apart every conscious thought and leaving my mind empty of everything except vibrations of white-hot pleasure.

Above me, Ran drops his hips, burying my nose in his bush.

When I moan from the sensation of being enveloped in his scent, his cock pulses, spilling his hot, salty release into my mouth.

When conscious thought returns after Ran has rolled off of me and the two of us are panting for breath on the mattress, the first thing that goes through my head is that he’ll be flying out to California with the taste of my come on his lips.