Page 16 of Cruel Summer

NINE

Anacortes–Orcas Island route

A ferry

Family vacation —seven years ago

It was a beautiful afternoon, even if the Pacific Northwest wind was determined to make sure the sun didn’t warm them too sufficiently.

“Someday, Hawaii,” she said resolutely when a gust of wind came up off the ocean.

“Someday,” Will agreed, lifting his wineglass.

They were sitting at a big wine and food festival happening at farm on Orcas Island.

The kids were all playing games under the supervision of festival employees, though Jude was looking a little bit over cool for all of it at fourteen.

Though she could see he secretly wanted to play all the games, and that the excuse of keeping an eye on his siblings so that he had to participate was probably welcome.

Will’s focus was abruptly pulled over to the opposite side of the big field, where drinks were being served.

There were several bachelorette parties in attendance at the festival—easily identified by the short skirts, sashes and groups of women with similar aesthetics flocking together.

It seemed as if a couple of the bachelorette party attendees were focused on Logan.

“That’s a lot,” she said, taking a sip of the flavored sparkling water she was drinking.

These damned fancy things and their lack of actual Coke products.

She preferred drinks with actual flavor, not drinks that tasted like the last gasp of a dying lemon had been given in the room next door, so as to only gently infuse the fizzy liquid.

“It’s like he got rolled in honey and put on an anthill, and women are the ants,” Will said.

“Sound slightly envious there, babe,” she said, unconcerned, her gaze fixed on Logan. “Does he… I mean, it’s been almost three years, but…”

She couldn’t imagine that. Losing Will and starting over. Having even the slightest desire to start over.

“ He’s not dead, Sam.”

“No, I get that. I get that.”

It was just that for her, sex was…so intimate. The idea of being with someone else was something she really couldn’t wrap her head around.

It felt weird to see him, Will’s friend who had been with Becca, and then alone, chatting it up with random women.

She wrinkled her nose. “I guess I can’t really understand why a hookup would fulfill anything.”

Her husband stared at her. “You don’t get why…”

“I get having needs . Obviously. It’s just… I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” She took a breath. “After being in love, being in a committed relationship, it just seems like it would be hollow.”

“Not everyone feels that way.”

Logan said something to one of the women and walked back over to their table.

“You get a phone number?” Will asked.

She wanted to excuse herself.

She suddenly felt uncomfortable there, witnessing this thing she’d never been part of before. Even more uncomfortable watching her husband’s interest.

“Yeah. We’re on vacation. I’m not interested.”

“We’re all in the same vacation rental, and the kids were planning on staying up and sleeping out on the deck with a movie on the projector screen. She won’t even notice if you leave,” Will said.

Wow. So fucking helpful was Will. If only Will had been so helpful when she’d been packing for this trip last night.

Logan’s gaze slid back over to one of the tight-dressed, short-skirted women. Then Logan looked at her.

“Sam?”

For a moment, she was lost in the context of the question, her thoughts tangled up.

“Is it a dick move for me to leave for a while tonight?”

She blinked. “Oh…well. I… We’ll be fine.”

She realized that wasn’t an answer to his question. She felt uncomfortable, but she couldn’t explain why. It was a big family vacation, the kind they’d been doing for years, and she knew that it was hard for Logan because his family had changed shape. But still.

“Let us,” Will said emphatically. “Shit, man, you deserve it.”

She thought way too long that night about why Will thought Logan deserved a random hookup.

But by morning, when Logan met them at the vacation rental so they could all go on a bike ride, she’d let it go.

Because there was no reason to hang on to it.