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Willow

J ames sliced the knife along Ms. Milligan’s throat, crimson bloodspilling from the gaping wound, and cascading down her body like a red waterfall.

Gurgling erupted from her, but a second later she fell quiet as sheslumped forward over the table, her head twisted in my direction as she took her final breaths.

Numbness spread through me, but I wasn’t sure if it was fromwatching her die, or the knowledgethatshe was my aunt.

Or maybe it was from learningthatJames killed my dad.

Timeseemedto stand still as I stared at her, her eyes open butunseeing, blood no longer pumping from the wound because she didn’t have a heartbeat anymore.

She’d been the bane of my existence for years, haunting me innightmares.

And now she wasjust…nothing.

She was dead.

She could never hurt me again.

Conversations erupted around me, but all I could hear was therushing of blood pounding through my ears when something strange happened.

Dark fuzzy memoriesthathad loitered in the furthest recess of myhead slowly began to clear.

An image of a woman smiling at me, her lips the same shape asmine. A picture of a man with the same color hair as me reading a story in a pink bedroom, and giggles erupting from the little girl snuggled under the pink covers. The same man showing me newspapers of articles he’d written, and me telling himthatone day I wanted to bejustlike him. I wanted to write stories too.

A strangled sob fell from my lips, the room falling silent as everyonelooked at me. Suddenly, I was hit by a tidal wave of memories which took my breath away in an instant, and if I hadn’t been sitting down, I would have collapsed from the weight of buried memories.

It was almost as if Ms. Milligan dying had been the key to unlockingthem, and while the burning sensation started in my back, it didn’t feel unbearable like it had been in years gone by.

“Mouse, talk to me. What’s wrong?”James said, pulling me back tothe here and now.

He was crouching in front of me, his brows furrowed in worry, whileCleo gripped my hand and gently ran her thumb over my knuckles, soothing me.

“I…”I said, but the words lodged in my throat.

This was too much. Everything I’d learned, and the rush of memorieswas overwhelming. I couldn’t suck in air quick enough to calm my heaving lungs.

“Willow, look at me,”James instructed. Instinctively, my gazesnapped to his.“You’re safe. No one will hurt you. I won’t let them.”

“It’s…not that,” I managed to choke out. “I…I remember.”

His brows rose.“You remember?”

Inthatmoment, it wasjustme and James. Everyone around usfaded away, and he was the only person I was speaking to.

“Not everything is clear,”I whispered, ignoring the tingles spreadingthrough the length of my back.“I remember your father coming to my house a few days after my dad died.”The memory unfolded in my brain and played like a movie I hadn’t seen in years, but as I said the words, I knewthateverything I was saying was the truth. Itreallyhappened.“My mom told me to go upstairs so the grownups could talk, but I knew she was scared. I sat on the landing, he… he said to herthatif she didn’t go with him, he’d take matters into his own hands.”

James gaped back at me, and from somewhere else in the room, aquestion was asked.“What else do you remember, Willow?”

I didn’t know who asked it, but I didn’t tear my gaze away fromJames as I replied.“I don’t know. The next thing I can remember is my mom speaking to Director Welch. She…thought I was asleep, but I wasn’t. She asked him for help, and he said he could get us out of there.”I looked at Cleo, her eyes filled with sadness.“He said he would get us new identities.”

“Willow, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I thought Welch was helping you. Inever would have-”she protested, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s okay. You didn’t know,”I replied sincerely because I didn’t blameher.

There were only two people responsible for this mess. Eric Carter andDirector Welch.

And maybe James. He might not have known the truth about mydad, but he still killed him. He took away the only man who’d never hurt me.

I didn’t think I would ever be able to forgive him forthat.

As if he could read my mind, he abruptly stood and turned his backto me.

“Do you remember anything else, Willow?”one of the men said. Ithought his name was Ethan, but I couldn’t remember the names Cleo had whispered in my ear when we first walked into the room. My brain was racing too much to remember who was who.

I didn’t answer right away as I tried to wade through the torrent ofmemories churning in my head, some of which were still fuzzy. But when my brain settled on a memory, I lifted my head to face him.

“The last day I saw my mom,”I said, remembering her armswrapped around me.“She hugged me and told me to go with Director Welch.Thathe would look after me, andthatshe’d be joining me soon.”I remembered the way my heart broke when she let go of me and told me to get in the car.“I don’t know what happened afterthat. The next thing I can remember is being at Peartree House, and Director Welch screaming at me, telling me to stop crying, andthatI was to never mention my mom or dad again.”

My voice broke on the last word, and onlythendid James turnaround to look at me, his face void of any emotion.

“Surely you’ve heard enough now?”he snapped, glowering at thethree men who were still seated at the table.“Welch and my father lied to you. To us. Between them, they ruined Willow’s life, and fuck knows what happened to Helen. They can’t get away with what they’ve done.”

He paced back and forth, his hands running through his hair.At the mention of my mom’s name, I wondered for the first time whether there was the slightest chancethatshe might still be alive. Since learning my father had died in what I thought was a car crash, I’d assumed she was dead too. Why else would she have abandoned me in the hellhole known as Peartree House?

The three men huddled together, and frantic whispers came fromthem. I couldn’t focus on anything they were saying, my mind completely consumed with long-lost memories of my parents.

After several tense minutes, Ethan stood.“We’ve heard enough,”hesaid, a sullenness to his tone.“Eric Carter and Kevin Welch are accused of breaching rule five set by our founding fathers of Legion. The board unanimously agreesthatboth are guilty of the accusations and will be sentenced to death for their actions.”

The bedroom felt cold and unfamiliar,eventhough everything wasexactly as I’d left it when I’d gone outside to lay in the sun and write earlier in the day.

So much had happened.

Everything had changed, and I didn’t think it would ever be thesame again. Nor did I want it to be the same.

James killed my dad.

His father orchestrated the destruction of my family.

I never wanted to see another member of the Carter family again.

Only, as I slumped down on the bed, the hole in my heart deepenedat the thought of never seeing James again. Of never seeing Kiera and Billie. AndevenCleo. I’d only met her for the first time a few hours ago, but she’d beennothing but friendly, being the support I didn’t know I needed as I recalled my memories.

Evenatthatverymoment, she was helping me. James had orderedher to take me to our bedroom while he and the other men went to deal with his father and Director Welch. While part of me was grateful she was with me, another part of mejustwanted to be left alone so I could wallow in my own misery.

“Can I get you anything?”she said, helping to pull my shoes off.

“No, thank you,”I replied.

“Are you sure? It’s been a long day, and you haven’t eaten anything.”

“Honestly? Ijustwant to go to sleep. I’ve never felt so exhausted inmy life,”I said, pulling back the covers and climbing under without removing a single item of clothing.

Maybe if I slept, I’d wake up, and this would alljustbe a bad dream.

“Okay, sweetie,”she said softly.“Try and get some sleep. I’ll be righthere if you need anything.”

Despite my entire body aching, and my head pounding, I was fairlycertain I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but thankfully, it wasn’t long until exhaustion pulled me under.

When my eyelids fluttered open hours later, sun streamed into thebedroom. Memories from the night before rushed into my mind, right from the minute Elijah appeared in the garden, to James refusing to look at me as he ordered Cleo to take me up to the room.

Nausea swam in my belly as every little bit of information I’d learnedflashed through my head. I sat up and stretched my arms above my head, my gaze falling across the room and finding a large duffle bag on the side, along with an envelope propped against it.

I quickly looked around the room, but neither James nor Cleo were tobe seen. Cautiously, I crept out of bed, and as I got closer to the bag, my heart began to race at seeing my name written on the envelope.

I snatched it up and tore it open, curiosity getting the better of me,and with my heart in my throat, I read the letter, written in neat handwriting.

Willow

Charlotte

Fuck it. You’ll always be my mouse, whatever name you go by.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d be writing this letter. There was a timewhen I didn’t give a fuck if you spent the rest of your life hating me, so long as you gave me what I needed. I didn’t think for one second, you’d burrow your way under my skin, and into my heart, but I should have known.

The minute I laid eyes on you, I always knew you were special. I triedto ignore the part of methatkept telling me you were so much more than what I needed you to be. If I’d listened, if I hadn’t been so fucking selfish, maybe we would have had more time together.

Butevenif we did, you’d still end up hating me, and I don’t blameyou. There is no apology big enoughthatI can give you to make up for what I’ve done, notjustby taking your father away from you, but for the way I treated you when you first came into my life.

NotthatI expect this to help, but I want you to knowthatI will spendthe rest of my life regretting every shitty thing I ever said or did to you, andthatmy punishment for treating you so callously, isthatI have to spend the rest of my life without you.

I’ve always been a selfish cunt, Mouse. I only had one goal in life,andevenas I write this, the selfish part of me wants to tear this letter up and refuse to let you go.

But for once, I’m not going to be selfish. You deserve a better life.After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to live the rest of your days far, far away from me, and any other cuntthatwants to hurt you.

Know this, Mouse. By the time you read this, my father and KevinWelch will be dead. Like Milligan, they will never be able to hurt you again.

And neither will I.

In the bag, you’ll find the key to your collar, $5,000,000, and a newidentitythatCleo has made. Don’t worry, she’s been sworn to secrecy as to the new name she’s given you, and has promised to shoot me between the eyes if I dare to ask what it is.

You’ll also find divorce papers. Sign them before you go, and I’ll filethem with the courts. Cleo has arranged for a car to take you to the airport, and there is a plane fuelled, and ready to take you wherever you want to go.

So go, Mouse. Remove your collar for good. Take the money, signthe papers, and be free. Be happy, and forget this chapter of your life. Never think of me, of Peartree House or any of the people who hurt you ever again.

James

Tears streaked down my cheeks as I read his words over and overagain. When I couldn’t read them anymore because my heart hurt too much, I dropped the note and let it flutter to the floor.

With shaky hands, I opened the bag, finding the key to my collarresting on top of divorce papers, along with a passport and ID card containing my photo, and a name I’d never heard of before.

Rebecca Smith.

A name so common that James would never be able to track me down even if he wanted to.

When I pushed them to one side, wads of dollar notes filled the bag.I shoved the bag away, and collapsed to the floor, loud sobs erupting from me.

I wanted to go. I wanted to sign the papers, take the money, and getthe hell away from everything, finally start the life I should have always had.

Part of me wanted to stay though, and I couldn’t resonate withthatpart of me. James had been cruel. He’d treated me badly, used and abused my body, and told me time and time againthatI meant nothing to him.

But he’d also shown a different side to him. One where he protectedme from the people who wanted to hurt me. A side where he cared about me, and made me feel wanted. Safe.

Loved.

But wasthatenough? Wouldthatbe enough to be able to forgive himfor killing my father in cold blood?

No.

I could maybe forgive him for how he treated me in the beginning.But I could never forgive him for taking away my dad. Regardless of whether he knewthathis father was lying, by killing my dad, he took my mom away from me too.

Withthatthought in mind, I stood, a new determinationrolling through me as I swiped the tears from my cheeks and found a pen. Snatching the divorce papers, I trailed my gaze over the words until I found where I needed to sign, and without letting myself second guess my decision, I lowered the pen to the paper.