Page 18

Willow

I gaped at James, not grasping his words.

He wanted me to go?

Where?

Why?

And more importantly, why did my heart hurt so much at the vitriol hewas spewing?

Surely this was a good thing. He was letting me go. Yet, without thecollar around my neck, reminding me that I belonged to him, a strange feeling cascaded through me.

I’d never felt so empty.

James glowered at me, his eyes narrowed on mine as he waited forme to make a move. Options ran through my head. Should I go? Should I bend down and pick up the discarded collar, and beg him to put it back on me like I wanted to do? Even if I knew this could be my one and only chance at freedom?

A lone tear slid down my cheek, his gaze tracked it, his featuressoftening fractionally.“James…”I whispered, unable to stop myself from calling his name.

I didn’t know what my next words would be, but it didn’tmatter. James put a stop to anything I could say when his eyes hardened again.

“Go!”he roared, his fist crashing into the window behind me. It wasonly by some miracle that the glass didn’t shatter like it had back in his room.“Get the fuck out of my sight, Willow.”

And still, my feet didn’t move.

I didn’t mean to disobey him, but my mind and my body were ondifferent pages, both struggling to comprehend this sudden turn of events. Was he acting like this because I’d cuddled into him in bed? If he gave me a chance to explain, I’d tell him that I never meant for it to happen, and it would never happen again.

He cursed under his breath, suddenly yanking open the driver’s door,and for a split second, I thought he was going to tell me to get back in the car and we were going home.

Until he pulled a gun out and aimed it at me.

The blood drained from my face, and my legs turned to jelly,threatening to buckle any second.

“I won’t tell you again,”James snarled menacingly, his dark eyes coldand hard.

He cocked the gun.

Finally, my brain and my body caught up with each other. Turning, Iforced my legs to move as fast as they could, my heart pounding as I ran toward the cover of the trees.

Sobs escaped me, fear that James would shoot me powered meforward. Despite the last eight years of my life being hell on earth, I didn’t want to die.

I didn’t believe in God, how could I after all that I had experienced?But in those few seconds as I bolted toward the safety of the forest, I prayed that if anyone was out there listening, they would help me.

Maybe James just wanted to scare me, or someone really was outthere answering my call for help, I didn’t know. Either way, I made it to the trees without breaking an ankle in my heels or receiving a bullet to my back.

The thick canopy of the trees blocked out any moonlight that wouldhave helped me find a path. Scared that James would follow, I kept running, my ankles twisting as I made my way over uneven ground, low hanging branches scratching my bare arms, as the forest around me grew darker the further in I went.

My heart beat harder than it ever had before, and my lungsburned as if they were on fire, making it impossible to breathe. When one sharp branch tore my arm, warm blood trickled from the gash.

Still, I continued, fear propelling me onward.

Climbing over a fallen tree, rough bark scratched the insides of mythighs because of the stupid dress I was wearing, but when I put my foot forward, ready to continue running, my ankle twisted on a rock. I fell, pain tearing up my spine as my ass hit the muddy ground. Soft,helpless whimpers escaped me as I tried to move my ankle in a circle, but the agony shooting up my leg was all-consuming.

With shaky fingers, I undid the buckle of my shoe and slid it off, tearsstreaking down my face as I tried to move my ankle again, only for more pain to take my breath away.

Defeat collided with me like a freight train. Even if I wasn’t injured, Iwas in a huge amount of trouble. Where was I going to go? The only place I could go was back to Peartree House, but I had no idea how far away the house was. Not to mention, I’d vowed that if I ever got out of the house, I’d be damned if I was ever going back.

I needed to accept that I was going to die here in the forest, and mybody was going to get eaten by wild animals.

Despite Ms. Milligan spending years training me not to think about myparents, I’d always held onto a sliver of hope that one day, I’d find out who they were, and what happened to me to wind up at Peartree House.

It looked as though I would never know.

Rubbing my ankle, my body trembled when a light breeze brushedover me. A light sheen of sweat coated my skin, and now that I wasn’t running, goosebumps erupted all over me. I didn’t know how long I sat there, shivers wracking my body, and I couldn't stop thinking about my impending death. Would it be quick? Would I be ripped apart by wolves so they could fight over my lifeless body? Or would it be slow and painful?

One thing was certain. I would die alone.

When twigs snapped somewhere in the distance, my entire bodyfroze as panic struck me like a bolt of lightning. I held my breath, listening raptly to the forest, and trying to decipher what had caused the twigs to snap.

Had the animals come for me already?

Or was it James, intent on shooting me?

Adrenaline surged through me when more branches rustled. Feargripped me in its vices, but my will to live, and not die a painful death suddenly kicked in, and survival instinct took over. I quickly unbuckled the other shoe, and swiped my tears away, my fingers leaving dirty trails on my cheeks.

I needed to move.

Slowly, ignoring the throbbing in my arm from the gash, and trying tomake as little noise as possible, I got to my feet, hissing softly from the pain radiating through my body when I put weight on my ankle.

I wouldn’t be able to run, but if I went slow, I could limp, and try to find a way out of the forest. Besides, if I went slow, I could be careful to not make any noise anddraw attention to myself.

Gritting my teeth with every step I took, and doing my best to not letfree the cries that wanted to escape, I hobbled further into the darkness, my heart rate spiking when footsteps echoed behind me.

Too terrified to look over my shoulder for fear of seeing the devilchasing me, I sent out another silent prayer.

This time, it went unanswered.

The footsteps grew louder, outpacing my small, feeble steps. Wolf ormonster, they were creeping up on me, and I was powerless to stop them.

By now, adrenaline was pumping so fast that it was a miracle I didn’thave a heart attack right there on the spot, which would have been preferable to being ripped apart.

My bare feet - now bloody from the cuts caused bynature’s elements - caught on another fallen tree, and I fell forward, only just managing to bring my hands up in time to stop from smashing my face on the ground.

Air whooshed out of my lungs, and a pained choke escaped me. Withmy head buried in my hands, I lay as still as a statue, hoping whatever was hunting me wouldn’t find me.I stayed in that position, not daring to move, and breathing as quietlyas possible to not alert anything or anyone to where I was. When a few minutes passed, and the forest fell silent again, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me.

Certain the coast was clear, I managed to get myself to my feet,pausing once again to check for sounds.

That was when I realized my mistake.

I shouldn’t have moved.

A hand wrapped around my mouth preventing a scream from leavingme, while another hand wrapped around my waist, and I was pulled back against a hard chest as a familiar scent engulfed me.

“Caught you, Mouse,”James whispered, amusement lacing his voice.

Never in my life had I been as scared as I was right then. Clawing atJames’ hands, I managed to rip them away from my mouth.

“Pl…please don’t kill me,”I pleaded, my voice shaky where terror waschoking me.

His hand gripped my throat as he buried his head in the crook of myneck and shoulders, and inhaled deeply.“I wish I could kill you, Willow. Maybe then I’d be able to get you out of my damn head.”

His lips brushed gently over my skin, eliciting tingles down my spine,and despite being terrified, butterflies began to dance low in my belly when James pressed his hard bulge against my ass.

“Do you know how far I got before I realized what a stupid fuckingmistake I was making by letting you go?”

Words lodged in my throat, and at my silence, James released meand spun me around. On my one good foot, I hobbled back, apprehension making me put space between me and the man who haunted my dreams.

James’ eyes narrowed as they took in my battered body beforecoming up to meet my wide, scared gaze.

“Let me ask you something, Mouse,”he said, instantly closing thegap between us. Instead of his usual hateful glare he held for me, his eyes were filled with something else. Something I couldn’t decipher.“When you lived at Peartree House, did there ever come a time when you accepted your fate? Accepted that no matter what you did, you would never be free of that place?”

His head tilted to one side as he waited for my answer. I licked mylips, my mouth dry from not just running through the woods in fear of my life, but from the way James stared at me, like any second he would pounce and eat me whole.

I remembered the exact moment I accepted my fate. I was twelveyears old and had been sent to my room after a whipping from Ms. Milligan because I’d had the audacity to ask her for some Advil to help my period cramps.I’d laid in bed, hugging my body in hopes of getting some relief fromboth the cramps in my stomach, and the pain from the whipping, when a bolt of realization hit me harder than the lashes from Ms. Milligan’s leather belt.

This would be my life forever.

“Yes,”I replied, my voice a breathy whisper.

James’ jaw clenched. He reached out, wrapping his handaround my throat and bringing his face a mere inch away from mine.“I watched you run, Mouse. Watched you disappear into the darkness, and for all of a second, I was glad you were out of my sight,”he said, his breath brushing over my lips as he spoke in a hushed voice as if we would be overheard.“I got back in the car, and I fully intended on leaving you.”

He paused, his eyes darting between mine. I held my breath while Iwaited for him to speak again. Something in my stomach told me that whatever he was about to say would change the course of both our lives.

“But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even bring myself to start the engine,”he chuckled, but there was no humor to it. His grip tightened possessively around my throat.“I was going to let you go, Mouse. Once you had my kid, I was going to make sure I never had to see you again. But you just had to crawl beneath my skin. I tried to keep you out, but you just kept digging and fucking digging.”

My heart began to thud heavily against my ribs as James’ tone filledwith anger, the pain in my ankle and arm long forgotten.

“It hit me, Willow. When I was sitting in the car, telling myself to startthe engine and drive away. It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. Acceptance. Acceptance that you are mine. Acceptance that you belong to me, consequences be damned because I’m never going to let you go.”

He slammed his mouth down on mine, my hands coming up to griphis shirt as he forced his tongue through my lips, raw desperation in the way he kissed me.

I shouldn’t have been happy to feel the relief coursing through me. AsJames’ tongue warred with mine, I told myself that it was because I was relieved I wouldn’t be dying in the forest. But that wasn’t the truth. It was relief at James admitting he wasnever letting me go. It was relief mixed with my own acceptance that I wanted to belong to James.

Abruptly, James released my throat and gripped my thighs, hoistingmy legs up and wrapping them around his waist. In three large strides, he slammed my back against a tree, holding me in place with his hips pressed against me.

“I’m not a good man, Willow. I’ve killed people, and I’ll kill a fuck lotmore before this life is over, and I won’t regret a single death at my hands,”he growled.

My breath stuck in my throat at his confession. I’d always suspectedJames was capable of murder, and there’d been times when I was certain I would meet my fate at his hands, but I didn’t have time to think about it.

With one hand, he reached under my skirt and ripped my underwearclean off my body, tossing the torn material on the ground before undoing his pants, and pulling his hard cock free.

In one violent thrust, he was inside me, the two of us hissing as heburied himself to the hilt.“I’m not capable of love,”he whispered, his eyes burning fiercely.“And I don’t fucking deserve to be loved. But I’m a selfish cunt, and I need you, Willow. I need your love.”

I sucked in a shaky breath as my brain struggled to comprehend whathe was saying. Between my legs, my core throbbed around James’ length, desperate for him to move inside me, but he stayed still, not yet finished talking.

“I’ll be cruel to you, Mouse. I’ll do things that will make you hate me.But I promise you this. I’ll take care of you. I’ll never let anyone but me hurt you. And if any cunt dares to lay a finger on you, I’ll rip their hearts out and serve it to you on a golden platter so you know they can never hurt you again.”

Tears sprung to life in my eyes. I should have been terrified of whathe was saying, but the promise of his protection doused any fear that had been building in me.

Daring to be brave, I raised a hand and delicately cupped James’cheek, my heart racing wildly as I braced myself for him to snap at me and tell me to get my hand off him.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he nuzzled into my touch, his stubble scraping against my palm, his eyes briefly closing and a sense of peace washed over his face.

“Can you accept me for who I am, Mouse? Do you think one day youcould love a monster?”he said as his eyes found mine again.

Raw vulnerability coated his voice causing my breath to hitch. He wascruel, but somewhere, buried deep under layers and layers of darkness was a sliver of light. If there wasn’t, then he wouldn’t have come back for me.

Right?

Maybe all we needed was time. Time for me to peel back the layersof darkness, and let that light shine through. Even if he only shined for me.

For a tense few seconds, I didn’t say anything as I stared deep intohis eyes. The feeling of acceptance once again cascaded through me like a waterfall. There was no part of me that wanted to tell him no, that I couldn’t accept him for who he was.

That I couldn’t love him.

“Yes,”I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

As soon as the word left my mouth, James’ lips crashed into mine. Hepulled his cock almost all the way out of me before slamming back inside, the rough bark of the tree tearing the soft material of my dress.

“Fuck, how could I think I could ever let you go?”he hissed as hebegan moving inside me.

Once again, he buried his face in the crook of my neck, his teethgrazing my skin as his thrusts grew more urgent. Pressure built in my core, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him to me.

The bark of the tree scraped my back, adding more injuries tomy already battered body, but all I could focus on was the delicious throbbing growing in intensity as James fucked me into oblivion.

Slaps of skin, grunts, and whines echoed into the surrounding forestas I clung to James, my climax nearing, when abruptly, James pulled out of me, spinning us around before dropping to the ground. My brows furrowed in confusion as he hovered over me with a snarl contorted on his face.

“You denied me earlier, Mouse. You’ll never deny me again,understand?”

Before I could answer, he flipped me over and pulled my hips back,lifting my dress so my ass was on display. Fright turned my blood to ice as James shoved two fingers inside me, scooping up my juices, and bringing them up to my back hole.

Without meaning to, my entire body tensed when James pushed afinger into me, breaching the tight ring of muscles.“Relax, Mouse, or this is going to hurt more than it needs to. Either way, I’m fucking your ass whether you want me to or not.”

Panic shot through me when he swiped more juices from my coreand brought them back up to my tight hole, this time pushing two fingers inside me. Pain seared through me as my hole stretched to accommodate his fingers.

“James, please…”I whimpered, my fingers digging into the ground.

He slapped my ass, the noise of his palm connecting with my skinreverberating into the night, and leaving behind a sting in my ass cheek.

“Silence, Mouse. I told you, you won’t deny me again.”He thrust hisfingers in me again, scissoring them to stretch my hole.“Be a good girl for me, Willow, and I’ll make this feel good for you.”

I bit my lip to stop myself from begging him not to claim my ass, but my teethsunk in deeper when he removed his fingers and replaced them with the head of his cock.

Slowly, James pushed into me, a burn ripping through my body as heforced his way into me. I tried to relax my muscles, but I couldn’t convince my body to stop trying to force him out of me.

“Fuck! Your ass feels fucking incredible,”he hissed, pulling out beforethrusting roughly back inside me.

“Ah,”I cried, unable to hold back.

James chuckled behind me, thrusting into me again.“You know what,Willow, I’m feeling generous. On this one occasion, I’ll let you scream seeing as there isn’t anyone around but me to hear your cries. Scream for me, Mouse, while I fuck this perfect ass.”

He slammed into me again, and the scream that escaped me piercedthe night sky. Pain coursed through my entire body as James began moving inside me once again, my nails digging deeper into the mud.

With every thrust, my cries mingled with his grunts as he plowed inand out of my ass. The burn tore through me, worse than what it did when he claimed my virginity, but when I didn’t think I would be able to take any more, James reached around and found my clit.

He started rubbing it in time with his brutal thrusts, and despite feelinglike I was being ripped in half, pressure once again began building in my core. My clit began to pulse against his finger, bolts of sharp pleasurerushing through me and distracting me from how my ass felt like it was stretching. Finally, my body began to relax.

Not meaning to, I pressed back against James, needing relief. Relieffrom the burn, relief from the climax that was building, threatening to obliterate me. He continued to rub furiously at my sensitive nub, my core clenching and needing to be filled.

“James, please,”I whined, although now my whimpers weren’t because of the pain he was causing.

“You need to come, Mouse?”James mocked, increasing his speed.

“Yes!”I bawled, tears streaming down my dirty cheeks.

“Come for me then, Mouse. Scream my fucking name, and let theworld know who you belong to.”

As if my body had been waiting for his command, an orgasm rippedthrough me, so intense that I was sure I blacked out. Wave after wave of pleasure rippled through me, taking my breath away and rendering me immobile.

With another few thrusts, James roared, his deep, gravelly voiceechoing around us as warmth filled my ass.

It took several long seconds for us to regain our breath. When the mist in my brain began to clear, my achy body trembled. James pulled out of me, causing a wince to fall from my lips.

He yanked me back, and I fell into his lap where he wrapped his arms and gazed down at me with awe in his eyes.

A small smile played on his lips, and just before exhaustionconsumed me, his lips brushed lightly against mine.“I told you, Mouse. If I caught you again, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to let you go.”