Page 40

AURELIA

S eth is back to normal in no time—as if the nosebleed and what he told me yesterday had never happened.

Well, that makes one of us.

It makes me wonder how long he’s been suffering the nosebleeds alone and watching the clock winding down if he’s able to recover so quickly.

On top of that, Thorin and Khalil have noticed that I’ve been withdrawn. At first, they were simply confused and then extra attentive, but after that didn’t work, and I continued to insist that everything was fine, they became frustrated with me.

I mean more than usual.

The four of us are sitting out on the upper deck enjoying the warm spring afternoon. At first, it was just me, but apparently, the three of them have entered the clingy stage of this new, weird space we’re in because everywhere I go, they follow.

I mean more than usual.

“Seth,” I say as I run my fingers through his lengthy, black hair. His head is in my lap as he lies between my legs on the lounger while I read him one of his favorite stories.

He jerks awake and stretches like a jungle cat before yawning and speaking in a groggy voice, “Yeah?”

“I think it’s time for a haircut. You’ve gone from dashing debonair to surfer duuuude.”

I’m smiling at my own joke until Seth stiffens, and my smile falls. I swear I see Khalil and Thorin still as well. Seth sits up, and there’s no mistaking the panicked look in his eyes.

“Uhh…” I look to Khalil and Thorin for help, but Khalil is making the sign of the cross, and Thorin looks ready to toss himself over the railing. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Seth doesn’t like haircuts,” Khalil tells me.

“We only cut it when Zeke is awake,” Thorin adds.

“Oh.” Closing the book and swinging my legs over the side of the lounger, I stand and shrug. “Well, in that case, never mind. I’m sure I’ll learn to love this look too.”

And let’s be honest. My panties are dropping for Seth either way.

I thrust my fingers into his hair one last time, letting the long, silky strands slip through my fingers, and then I leave them on the deck to go back inside the house, sliding the glass door closed behind me.

It’s laundry day, so I go from room to room, collecting the dirty clothes and towels strung all over the place since—let’s face it—I’m a terrible maid. I then carry it all downstairs to the basement to get started.

I’m halfway through the first load while singing the final chorus from my favorite track on my first album when I hear shouting and something crashing. Dropping Seth’s wet shirt back inside the sink, I rush upstairs and find myself in the middle of absolute pandemonium.

The kitchen table has been shoved into the side door.

One of the chairs is overturned.

There’s a dent in one of the few walls that have drywall.

The antler chandelier above the kitchen table is rocking back and forth.

And there is blood…everywhere.

Khalil is slumped on the floor and leaning against the wall with a dent in it. Thorin is bent over and panting hard with one hand resting on the back of the couch and the other holding his bleeding side. I follow his murderous glare to Seth, who is sitting on the floor by the table with his forearms resting on his knees and small scissors dripping blood clutched in his hand.

“What the hell happened in here?” I scream.

Thorin’s gaze flicks to me and then back to Seth. “He cut me.”

“Okay. Why?”

“Because I tried to cut his hair for him.”

“Why would you do that? I thought you said Seth hated haircuts,” I immediately scold.

This time Thorin aims that daggerish glare at me. “If you want to blame someone, blame yourself. He wanted to please you and wouldn’t shut up about it until one of us agreed to cut his hair, and I got stabbed for it.”

“I thought you said he cut you.”

Thorin closes his eyes. “Aurelia, I swear to God.”

My gaze moves to Khalil, and I lift a brow. “And you?”

Khalil tosses an indignant hand toward Seth. “He fucking flipped out when I tried to stop him from killing Thor.”

Finally, I allow my gaze to return to Seth. His blank gaze is fixed on the floor, and I’m not even sure he knows I’m here.

I take one step toward him when Khalil finally gets off his ass faster than any human should be able to move. “Don’t even think about it,” he warns, coming to stand between Seth and me. “Not when he’s like this.”

“Seth won’t hurt me.”

“I’m not taking that chance.”

“It’s not your decision.” It’s a testament to how bad Khalil’s hurting that I’m able to duck around him and kneel in front of Seth. “Hey…” I lay my hand on his arm when he doesn’t react. “Seth, can you hear me?” He peeks up at me and then looks away like he’s ashamed before nodding. “What happened? Why did you attack Khalil and Thorin?”

“I didn’t mean to.”

My heart cracks in two. “I know you didn’t. Thorin and Khalil know it too.”

Behind me, Thorin snorts. I glare at him over my shoulder in time to see him rolling his eyes. Or maybe he’s about to pass out.

Jesus, how much blood did he lose? It’s everywhere.

I turn my focus back to Seth. Thorin may be injured, but Seth’s the one who needs me most—needs us most—and I know Thorin and Khalil agree because they don’t complain or leave to take care of their wounds. Thorin will risk bleeding out, and Khalil, who’s clutching his head, will risk a concussion to make sure Seth is okay.

I haven’t told them this and maybe never will, but their determination to care for each other—no matter the cost to themselves—is one of the things I love about them most. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to stay.

“Goldilocks.” I look at Khalil, and he nods to Seth’s hand—the one holding the scissors—and I pick up on the unspoken order.

“Seth, can I have the scissors?” I hold out my hand for him to place them in, but he clutches the scissors tighter.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he explains.

“You won’t. Give me the scissors.”

“If you have them, I will. I won’t be able to help it, Sunshine.”

I drop my hand with a sigh. “Why do you think that, Seth?”

“It’s the memories of what Isaac did to him on that table,” Thorin answers when Seth remains stubbornly silent. “He doesn’t like anyone coming at him with sharp objects.”

Hence, why Seth doesn’t like haircuts…

God, I’m going to need a list so something like this doesn’t ever happen again. I’m already cursing my big mouth. It fucking burns me that Seth thinks he has to go to such measures to please me.

“Seth, listen to me.” He lifts his head, his green eyes filled with worry and shame. “Grow your hair down to your fucking knees. Dye it pink. Cut it all off. I don’t give a shit. But never ever put yourself through this again. I do not care what you look like, you fool. I love you .” Seth’s eyes widen, but I hold his gaze steady as I hold out my hand. Yes, I know what I just said, and I fucking meant it. “Now give me the damn scissors.”

He holds out the shears, and I make sure to wrap my hand around the blades, risking cutting my hand open so that he doesn’t see them when I take the scissors from him.

I feel Khalil hovering behind me, so I hand him the scissors without taking my eyes off Seth. The moment Khalil moves away to hide those fucking things, Seth reaches out and pulls me into his lap.

“You love me,” he says while nuzzling my face with his.

“Yes, Seth.” I tilt my head back and smile when he kisses my neck. “I love you.”

“Oh, sure,” Khalil drawls when he returns. “You get cut, and I get thrown into a wall, but Seth is the one who gets coddled.”

Thorin grunts his agreement, and when I look over my shoulder, I see him swaying on his feet when he tries to straighten.

“Thorin!” Shooting to my feet, I rush over to him. I reach him just as he collapses back against the couch. “Khalil, help me.”

Khalil curses and nudges me aside so that he can help Thorin around the couch. Thorin is passed out by the time Khalil lays him down, and my worry skyrockets. I’m actually wringing my fucking hands.

“Fuck,” Khalil grumbles when he peels back Thorin’s T-shirt to inspect the wound. “Seth got him good. Help me get this off.”

I help by lifting Thorin’s head and arms while Khalil frees him from the confines of the shirt. “What now?”

“We need the first aid kit. It’s downstairs.”

I go to stand when I hear Seth speak. “Here.”

Looking up, I see he’s already holding Thorin’s med kit when I hadn’t even noticed he’d left the room. Khalil takes it from him and thanks him.

“Shouldn’t we take Thorin to the hospital?” I ask when Khalil begins rifling through the medical supplies.

“Not if I can help it. It’s really not that bad. Thorin is just being dramatic to get you to fuss over him like you were doing Seth.”

I start to tell Khalil how ridiculous that sounds when I catch Thorin peeking an eye open before quickly closing it when he sees me watching him.

“Are you freaking kidding me?” I yell as I stand.

Thorin sighs and looks pretty proud of himself when he opens his eyes now that his ruse has ended. “Can you blame me?”

“Yes!”

“Don’t mind him, Sunshine. He’s just jealous.”

Thorin lifts his chin. “Damn straight.”

I grab one of the throw pillows from the couch and hit him in the face with it. “I can’t believe you.”

I go to storm away when Thorin reaches out and catches my hand, aggravating his wound further in the process. Khalil barks at him to stay still, but Thorin keeps his blue eyes on me. “I’m sorry for making you worry, wolf. Stay with me. Please.”

I debate it for a few seconds, torturing him even more than Khalil is as he cleans the wound before I go to kneel by Thorin’s shoulder. I notice he’s sweating profusely, so I tell Seth to bring me some cool water and a cloth. When he returns, I play nursemaid, dabbing Thorin’s forehead with the cool cloth while Khalil patches him up.

Seth busies himself cleaning up the mess he made, and half an hour later, we’re all too exhausted from this day to participate any further. Khalil orders Thorin to stay off his feet for the rest of the day so as to not tear open his stitches. Thorin asks me to keep him company, and Seth insists on coming, too.

And that is the story of how the four of us end up in Khalil’s bed since his is the only one big enough to fit the four of us.

I won’t lie and say it isn’t awkward at first.

It’s not that the three of them aren’t used to sharing a bed, but it’s the first time they’ve shared it with a woman. Seth made sure to let me know that I was the first when he read the question in my eyes and the brewing jealousy behind it—and all before I could say a word.

“Well, since we don’t have a TV, I guess we’re going to have to entertain ourselves,” I announce once I’m settled between Thorin and Seth while Khalil lays between my legs—much like Seth was out on the deck earlier. “Not sex,” I clarify when the three of them start eyeing me like I’m dinner and dessert.

“All right then,” Khalil drawls. “What do you suggest?”

“We could play a board game.”

“That’s not a good idea unless you want a repeat of earlier. Thorin is a sore loser.”

“Cards?”

“We lost those years ago.”

“Okay…” I ponder for a few moments before an idea pops into my head. “Tell me something you miss from your old life. Something you can’t get out here.”

“Two months ago, I would have said pussy, but now that we’ve got the best and she lets us do whatever we want, I’ll have to change my answer to…my parents.”

“It’s sweet that you miss your mom and dad, but I’m not sure how I feel about you referring to my vagina as a separate entity, Khalil Poverly.”

“Even though she’s nicer to us than you?”

“What can I say? I’m a jealous bitch, and you’re skirting dangerously close to never speaking to her again.”

Khalil chuckles and turns his head to bite the inside of my thigh. He doesn’t bother to soothe the spot after because he knows I like the pain, but his thumb sweeping my knee a few inches down speaks volumes as well.

“What about you?” I ask Thorin.

He has to think about the answer, and I’m not surprised. Living in a remote cabin in some far-off corner of the world is the exact kind of life I’d picture Thorin leading. Of the three, he’s probably the most comfortable here, but I also know he’d go wherever Khalil and Zeth are. “Takeout,” he finally answers, and I nod. It makes perfect sense considering he does all the hunting. That has to get taxing after a while.

“Seth?”

“Movies. No! Music.” He makes a face like I’m pulling his teeth. “Movies and music?”

“It’s okay, Seth. You can miss both.”

“Well, in that case, can I add video games to my list right under my parents?” Khalil asks.

I gently massage his temples with my thumbs just in case his head still hurts. “Sure.”

“What about you?” Thorin asks.

I don’t even have to think about it. “Hot tubs.”

“Hot tubs?”

“Yeah, I have one in my house. If this was an interview, I’d say it was my favorite place to dream up my next hit song, but that’s bullshit. The truth is, the hot tub is where I get sloshed.”

“Nice,” Seth answers.

“You guys should really consider getting one. Maybe out there on one of the decks overlooking the wilds.” I smile a little to myself as I imagine. “Yeah, that would be perfect.”

“We have one,” Khalil answers.

“Really?” I frown. As big as the cabin is, I’m pretty sure it would be hard to miss. Between the three of them, they must have fucked me in every room, against every possible wall, and on every surface by now. “Well, where is this magical, hidden hot tub? I haven’t seen it.”

“We’ll show you tomorrow.”

“Ooookaaaay.”

“What else would you like to know, Sunshine?”

“Hmm.” I tap my chin as I think about it. “Oooh! I know. The three of you could tell me about all the girls you used to date.”

“Actually, I think I saw those playing cards somewhere the other day,” Khalil says, faking like he’s getting up to look for them.

“Nice try, Poverly.” I grab his shoulder and shove him back down. “Now, you first.”

He groans and swipes both hands down his face in agitation. “What do you want to know, Goldilocks?”

Thinking about what Seth divulged to me yesterday, I ask, “Have you ever been in love?” Seth stiffens in my peripheral as if he’s read my mind.

“Not really,” Khalil answers lightly. “Love? Nah. Lust? Hell yeah.”

“Well, who have you been in lust with?”

“You’ll have to be more specific,” he deadpans.

“Who was the one girl you wanted so fiercely that it consumed your every waking thought?”

“You.”

I roll my eyes even as I feel myself fighting a blush. “ Before me, Khalil.”

He blows out an annoyed breath while I wait for the answer I’m not sure I want to know. It’s completely unfair of me to ask, but it’s too late to put the curiosity back in the bag. Khalil is already answering.

“Mrs. Wallace, my ninth-grade Algebra teacher. She was about sixty years old and wore church heels and bifocals, but man, she could deviate the fuck out of some formulas.”

Thorin and Seth snicker.

“I hate you all.”

“Goldilocks…” Khalil turns over and yanks me down the bed until I’m staring up at the twisted canopy, and he’s hovering over me with both hands planted on either side of my head. My hands automatically find his hard pecs, sliding down to his six-pack and feeling his warm skin underneath my palms because I can’t resist touching him. I know Khalil loves it when I do. “Who gives a fuck about the girls who came before? As far as I’m concerned, they don’t exist anymore. There is no before you because there’s only you. Our story starts and ends with you and me.” A throat clears before Khalil rolls his eyes. “And Thorin and Seth too.”

I slide my foot down Khalil’s huge calf muscles, teasing him as I grin up at him. “Good answer, Poverly.”

Since I’m wearing one of his flannels again—which I’d purposely left open—and only a thin pair of panties underneath, Khalil lowers his head and licks my sternum right over the spot where my heart beats. My nipples harden on contact, and I can’t quite catch my breath after that. “And what about you? You still haven’t told us if you fucked your bodyguard yet.”

Feeling like all the air has been sucked out of the room, my foot drops back onto the bed at the reminder of Tyler. “What does it matter?” I ask, voice strangled. “He’s dead.”

“Exactly my thoughts,” Thorin says.

When I turn my head his way, I see that he’s glaring at Khalil. They exchange a look I can’t decipher, and then Khalil rolls off me with a heavy sigh to settle between Seth and me.

I figure Thorin is just pissed at Khalil for upsetting me, which he didn’t, not really. It’s my own fault for bringing up the topic of old flames.

Not that Tyler was an old flame.

He—it’s complicated.

It takes me a few minutes to recover—to push Tyler way down where I’m safe from ever thinking about him again. The guilt is just too crippling to bear without coming to a standstill. In these wilds, where anything could kill me if I let my guard down, it’s too dangerous to risk.

Tyler, Cassie, and all the others are dead because of me, and here I am, trying to move on and steal a slice of happiness for myself as if I deserve any of it.

I should have done the Avery Shaw interview a year ago.

I should have lied to Tania after she told me that I was her idol. I should have smiled prettily and told her that she absolutely has what it takes to be the next me. Instead, I looked into the starry eyes of a dreamer and eclipsed it with the cold, hard truth.

She could never be me.

Because what it took to be me was my soul, and Tania was still new enough to save hers. I didn’t care about that, though, if I’m being sincere. I’m not going to put on a false cape and claim I was only trying to rescue Tania when I spewed my venom.

The truth is, I hated her.

For being everything I never got the chance to be and then rubbing it in my face, I fucking despised her.

And if I’d lied, Tyler and the others would still be alive, and I’d never have met Thorin, Khalil, and Seth. The knowledge only fills me with even more turmoil because I can no longer imagine my existence without my mountain men being a part of it, nor do I want to.

I’d suffer a thousand falls from grace and fiery plane crashes just to find them again and again.

The knowledge and acceptance that I will always be the villain splits me open, leaving me vulnerable as I stare at the twisted branches and fairy lights. The guys are still talking amongst themselves. Meanwhile, it becomes hard for me to breathe, so I sit up with a gasp. I can feel their eyes snap to me when Seth stops mid-sentence. I can feel the soft bedspread underneath me as my fingers dig into it to keep me from floating away.

A moment later, it feels as if the room itself is shrinking until I realize it’s Thorin, Khalil, and Seth pushing in and closing around me, letting me know they are there. I’m safe to process whatever the fuck is happening to me.

After the tearing, stretching, and crumbling are done, after I shed this skin that has never been mine, I become trapped in this new shell that’s hard in places and soft in others—that is both full of color and uncomfortably transparent.

I still panic, even while knowing somehow that it’s only temporary.

I try to put a name to it, but it escapes me. It hovers on the tip of my tongue and raises the hairs on my nape whenever I try to force it out—as if simply uttering the word when my mountain men can hear invites danger itself.

Is this what Seth, Zeke, and Bane feel whenever one of them splits?

“What is it?” Seth asks while placing a careful hand on my shoulder.

I barely hold back my flinch when I feel the strength in those fingers, but Seth snatching back his hand tells me he knows. I don’t have to wonder if I hurt his feelings, but since I can’t explain why my entire body feels like it might detonate at any second without sounding like a lunatic, I say nothing.

Pushing past my mountain men, I crawl to the foot of the bed and climb off. None of them speak until I reach the door.

“Where are you going?” Thorin asks. There’s a worried pinch to his brows when I look over my shoulder at them.

“I changed my mind,” I say, watching blue, brown, and green eyes shutter when they mistake my meaning. “I don’t think I’m going to need that nap after all.”

I flee before they can convince me to stay, closing the door to Khalil’s bedroom behind me as I go.

Gasping for air, I stumble up the stairs to the first floor and over to the front door until I’m out of the cabin. I don’t stop running until I’m off the front porch and falling to my knees in the dirt path that’s been hidden under snow all winter.

It’s not until I’ve caught my breath that I realize the path, still partially covered in snow, diverges in two directions. The thinner trail leads straight ahead out of the clearing, and the second, wider path leads around the house toward the cliff, which continues past the gap in the trees that I’m only now noticing.

What…the fuck?