Page 36

AURELIA

T he sun hasn’t finished rising yet, so the frost and fog on the kitchen window block most of my view of the wilds.

A curl is stuck to my sweat-slicked cheek as my fingers sink into the dough I let sit out all night. The counter and my hands are covered in flour with a homestead recipe book open next to me as I attempt to make homemade artisan bread from scratch.

Like my last three attempts, it’s not going well—mostly because I’ve been distracted from the start.

The culprit swirls his hot, wet tongue between my legs, and the hold my teeth have on my bottom lip gives. A low moan slips free, but it seems loud inside the quiet cabin.

It’s still early in the morning. I thought I’d have an hour to myself—long enough to finish the bread at least—before one of them woke to harass and molest me.

It’s hard to feel put out about it when I’m moments from coming.

As if he knows and wants to extend my torture, Seth lifts his head while his fingers continue to work in and out of my cunt.

“How’s that, Sunshine?”

“Amazing,” I answer, panting. “Until you stopped.”

Chuckling, his warm breath skates over my pussy and sends a tingle down to my toes. Seth groans like a man starving when I wiggle my ass in demand, and then he goes back to making good on the least frightening wish he made at the lake.

With Seth fingering my pussy at the same time he’s eating my ass, I double over the counter and flour and dough and come with a string of expletives and pleas spilling out of my mouth.

I stay where I am while I wait for my legs to stop shaking, and so does Seth—on his knees behind me—while he sinks his teeth into the plump curves of my ass. I know that when I survey my body later, I’ll see the tokens each of them left behind—Seth’s teeth marks, Khalil’s handprints, and the scrapes from Thorin’s stubble between my thighs.

Straightening, I turn to face Seth as he rises to his feet.

“Do you have it?” I ask as soon as he’s towering over me.

“Open.”

Parting my lips, I stick out my tongue, and Seth uses the same fingers he had stuffed inside my cunt to carefully place a tiny pink pill on my tongue. He draws his hand back at the same time I hear someone heading this way, so I swallow it immediately.

“Thank you. Best boyfriend ever.”

Seth’s eyes sparkle like I knew they would. “Don’t mention it.”

This has been our secret routine since the day we returned to the cabin a week ago. My mountain men agreed to no more punishments, but I should have known they’d have a workaround. They wouldn’t punish me for being bad, but they were dead set on making me work for the rewards.

When Seth dangled my birth control in front of me under the guise of curiosity, I couldn’t believe it. I also had the feeling Thorin and Khalil weren’t aware that he had it since he waited until they went to meet with the sheriff about the drifters.

I told Seth I would do anything for the pills, so he made me put my money where my mouth is—literally.

The first pill was in exchange for a blow job that ended with a money shot. I traded letting him massage my feet for the second pill, which I hadn’t minded at all. I have no idea if the pills will be effective after missing so many days, but for my peace of mind, I have to believe they will.

“I’m going to go shower,” he says before kissing my cheek and giving my ass, which he just had his face between, a squeeze.

He passes Khalil on the way out of the kitchen, and I brace myself for more demands. My mountain men aren’t just feral. They’re insatiable.

Khalil notices me through sleepy eyes and prowls over to cradle my face in both hands before giving me a kiss. “Morning, Goldilocks.”

God, his voice, still rough and heavy from sleep—not to mention his unbound and unkempt hair hanging around his broad shoulders—pools liquid heat inside my belly.

“Morning.”

“What are you doing up so early?”

“Making bread. Being a good housewife.”

Still holding my face, his arresting brown eyes peer over my shoulder at the messy counter. “You know you don’t have to do this stuff anymore. No more indentured servitude, remember?”

“I know. I wanted to.”

And because I realized just how easy it is to get bored out here without Wi-Fi, phones, or even a television. I need something to do, or I might break my promise and run for the nearest exit. Besides, I don’t mind as much now that they’re not making me.

The idea of taking care of my men when it’s my choice doesn’t feel icky or make me murderous.

I…like it.

I’m still really fucking bad at it, but I haven’t forgotten they kidnapped me, so…oh well.

Khalil’s face suddenly splits into a grin, revealing the most dazzling smile. “You’re bored, aren’t you?”

“ So bored.”

Khalil laughs, and I decide the sound is even better than his morning voice. “Well, you have the right idea. It helps to pick a project to pass the time. The more time-consuming, the better.”

“Like what?”

Khalil frowns at my question, and I’m sure it’s because I look as lost as I feel. “Is there something you’ve wanted to try in your spare time?”

“I didn’t have spare time,” I answer simply.

His frown deepens even more. “Never?”

I shake my head and intend to leave it at that, but somehow end up spilling my guts. “When there weren’t songwriting or recording sessions, there were rehearsals, tours, performances, photoshoots, business meetings, interviews, and appearances. To tell you the embarrassing truth, those three days in the wilds were the closest I’ve ever come to a vacation. So no, I’ve never thought about what I might want to do for myself if I had the time because I haven’t had a single moment that was just for me in a very long time. My uncle was immovably rigid in how I spent my days, and he had no qualms reminding me that if I didn’t stay on top, the world would forget about me. I wasn’t irreplaceable to anyone. And you know what?”

“What?” Khalil inquires quietly. “Tell me. I got you.”

His thumb stroking my cheek does something impossible to the turmoil inside me, something I never expected to ever happen. It chases it away, if only for this moment. I know that everything will be okay if I finally break my silence and that what’s left of my world won’t disappear from under my feet or that my uncle can’t get to me because Khalil won’t let him.

I believe him.

I…trust him.

“It worked. Uncle Mars kept me so isolated that my fans were all I had. I couldn’t let them forget about me, so I did whatever he wanted. I dressed up, I sang the songs, I played the part, and told myself it didn’t matter if I liked me because they loved me.”

And when they stopped, all I had left was my self-loathing.

Khalil searches my gaze, and the jumping muscle in his cheek tells me he’s clenching his teeth— hard . “I know you, Aurelia. You didn’t take your uncle’s shit lying down. What happened when you refused?”

“I know what you’re thinking, Khalil, but he never hurt me. I was always in the public eye, so he couldn’t risk the bruises. Uncle Marston was very good at making me feel incredibly fucking worthless, though. I was no one if I wasn’t Aurelia George, the girl with the golden voice, and he made sure I never forgot it.”

“What. Did. He. Do?”

“Besides the mind games? Uh, let’s see. Sleep deprivation was one of his favorites because it meant he still got his way. Uncle Mars would keep my schedule jam-packed so that I would only get an hour or two of sleep if I was lucky. That would sometimes last for weeks. Extreme diet restriction thanks to some horse-faced bitch who went viral tweeting that I would be prettier if I lost weight. That started a week-long discourse about body image, and yours truly got to be the focal point of both sides of the argument. But hey, the first time Uncle Mars nearly starved me to death, I lost thirty pounds, and everyone congratulated me on this newer, smaller me.”

And whenever I was particularly defiant, or Uncle Mars was particularly cruel, he’d make me overeat just so he could later force his fingers down my throat and barf it all back up. It’s what sparked the rumors of me being bulimic several years ago, thanks to one of my many ex-assistants. I almost got canceled for that, too, so my uncle leaked rumors of a new album in the works to distract them, and it worked.

“He did these things to you…for telling him no?”

“Anything could set him off. If I lost an endorsement or botched an interview or canceled a show because I got the flu…you get the picture.”

“Yeah,” Khalil says tightly. “I get the picture.”

“The diabolical part of it all was that my uncle used singing, the only thing I was allowed to have, to hurt me. He took the one thing that made me whole and used it to break me.”

“He didn’t break you,” Khalil denies with absolute certainty.

“No? I seem pretty fucking messed up to me.”

“No matter what we threw at you, there hasn’t been a single moment when you haven’t pushed back. No, baby. He didn’t break you, but I won’t tell you the scars aren’t there.”

I wouldn’t believe him if he tried. I can feel them just beneath my skin, waiting to show themselves through cruel words or sneers.

“Aren’t you going to tell me I’m wiser, more beautiful, and stronger for them? Or any of the platitudes people use to dismiss the pain of others?”

“No. You are all of those things, and it has nothing to do with your bitch-ass uncle. If anything, he did what he could to take them away from you, but it didn’t work. That’s why I’m going to kill him.”

“Khalil…you can’t say things like that.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t mean it.”

“Don’t I?”

“You’d have to more than just care about me, Khalil. You’d have to—” I stop myself before I can make a fool of myself.

“Say it,” Khalil urges. There’s a burning in his eyes that scares the shit out of me, and if I’m not careful, it will catch. “I’d have to what?”

You’d have to love me.

Because I’m a coward, I don’t say it aloud. I drop my head with a shake so that I don’t have to watch that fire bank from my denial. Khalil, thankfully, doesn’t push further.

“You’re irreplaceable to me , Aurelia.” My head snaps up with a gasp. “That’s why I meant it.”

“You mean, if someone prettier, thinner, and more cooperative than me dropped out of the sky, you wouldn’t trade me in for a newer, less troublesome model?”

Khalil scoffs like the notion of wanting anyone other than me is preposterous. “Definitely not.”

“You sure? She might actually know how to cook.”

“You’re stuck with us, Goldilocks.”

“Lucky me.”

“Smart-ass.” Khalil pinches my butt and then massages the spot. “When you figure out what you want to do, let one of us know so we can get you whatever you need. Understand?”

When I nod, he steals a chaste kiss that feels anything but when I feel it between my thighs. I love Khalil’s kisses, even though they make me feel out of my depth. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s why I love them. They make me feel so light on my feet, I fear I’ll float away, so I cling to him as hard as I can, like he’s my lifeline.

“Good. I can’t wait to taste your bread.” Why the fuck does that sound dirty as hell? I shiver and hope he doesn’t notice that mere words have me behaving like a bitch in heat. “Need help?”

“With what exactly?”

Oh, my God. Am I…flirting? It feels natural to do so, as natural as resisting this intense connection stirring.

Khalil’s eyes flare as he picks up the ball I just threw in his court. His hand drops to my waist, and I feel his thumb sweeping my belly through Seth’s T-shirt. “Whatever you need, Goldilocks. Did Seth not treat that precious pussy right?”

“What makes you think we did anything?”

“His face…and yours.”

Thorin appears in the kitchen, his sleepy gaze becoming sharper the moment he notices Khalil and I locked together. I know that if I sucked Khalil’s dick right now, I’ll want Thorin’s too, and then Seth will return from his shower and….

The bread will never get baked.

Deciding to turn off the horny switch, I spin back toward my ball of dough, but I can still feel Khalil hovering.

“I’m fine,” I tell him. “Go stick your hand down your boxers and do whatever useless boyfriends do while I take care of everything.”

“Boyfriend,” Khalil says in a kind of confusing growl-purr combination that makes my toes curl against the cold floor. “I like it, Aurelia.”

“Me too,” Thorin chimes in with an equally sexy rumble.

Me three.

I feel Khalil leave me a kiss on my neck, and Thorin takes his place a moment later. I don’t even have to think about it when I turn my head to meet his lips over my shoulder. Thorin’s hair is down, and I can’t help but reach up to run my fingers through the silk while he feeds me his tongue. He can’t help but touch me either, sneaking his hand under Seth’s shirt and palming my bare tit. The cabin is quiet again except for our heavy breaths as we make out and the birds chirping just outside the window.

Birds…

Holy shit.

Spring must truly be around the corner.

It means the snow will melt, and the mountain pass will open. But…how did Pete and his friends make it up here if it wasn’t already?

“How did you sleep, songbird?”

“Like a baby,” I lie breathlessly.

After a week of sleeping in either Thorin’s bed or Khalil’s with him and Seth, I’d insisted on sleeping in my loft last night once the three of them were done with me so that I could get up early without waking one of them.

“Yeah?” Thorin, unconvinced that I’d slept better in a sleeping bag on the floor than wrapped up in one of them, waits for a better answer.

“Okay, fine! It was cold.”

Thorin’s chuckle is quiet, and then he kisses my nape before whispering in my ear, “Next time you need warming up, you know where to find me, wolf.”

Thorin leaves, and not a moment too soon. My nipples are already hard, aching points against the cotton of Seth’s T-shirt, and if Thorin had ordered me to my knees, I wouldn’t have refused him.

An hour later, a happy squeal leaves my lips when I lift the roasting pan and see the perfectly golden dome underneath. All of my other attempts had left me with an overcooked lump sunken in the middle, but I’d finally perfected the temperature.

Removing the bread from the trivets on the stovetop, I set the baking pan on a separate rack to cool while I carry the platters of eggs, bacon, and fried apples to the table, where my mountain men are already seated.

“I don’t get you three,” I say with a huff as I place their breakfast in front of them. “You have power. Why not make life easier and get modern appliances, too? Maybe a real stove? Or a TV?”

“We thought about it,” Khalil says from the head of the table. He snatches a strip of bacon from the platter as soon as it touches the table. “It’s the reason we went solar.”

“And?”

“We didn’t do it,” he says around a mouthful of bacon.

“Yes, I can see that. Care to share why?”

The three of them are quiet while they help themselves to the food that—even if I do say so myself—looks at least edible today. They still haven’t answered by the time I take my seat between Khalil and Thorin and across from Seth.

I’m wrestling between pressing the issue and shrugging it off when Seth says, “They were afraid of getting too comfortable.”

“And it’s a pain in the ass getting shit up the mountain,” Thorin grumbles.

“Oh, speaking of which, you’re out of eggs, flour, salt, and yeast.”

Thorin pauses, filling his plate with a lift of his brow. “You mean all the things you used to make that bread?”

“No.” I roll my eyes and pretend I don’t feel their scrutiny. All three of them are watching me closely right now. “You don’t need eggs for bread.”

“Hmm.”

“Guess you’re going to have to make a store run.”

“Guess so,” Seth answers tightly.

Before I can examine Seth’s souring mood, Khalil places the plate he’s filled with food in front of me. I watch a little dumbfounded as he wordlessly grabs the pitcher of water and pours me a glass.

“I—thank you.” Our gazes meet, and I look away like a coward. My attention shifts to my plate that’s piled with more food than I can eat.

“Thanks for making breakfast,” Khalil returns smoothly despite my need to make shit awkward for no reason. “It looks good.”

I scoff. “You don’t have to lie.”

See? There I go again. Awkward.

Khalil nudges my foot under the table, and my gaze flies up to meet his. “I wasn’t.”

I feel my cheeks warm, but this time, I don’t look away. I go for inappropriate humor instead. “I’m impressed, Poverly. We’re a long way from grunting and growling, and you woman, we men, make food .”

“I do not sound like that.”

“You all sound exactly like that.”

Thorin grunts in amusement or annoyance. It’s hard to tell, but it proves my point, and that’s all I care about. I keep my smug gaze on Khalil, who sucks his teeth and scowls at Thorin.

“My God. I could write a book,” I muse aloud. “Are bodice rippers still a thing?”

“You’re awfully chatty this morning,” Thorin retorts.

My head swings his way. “Are you telling me to shut up, Thayer?”

“And piss you off? No, my wolf. I know better.”

Just to really annoy them, I start testing out potential titles. “ Winter’s Burn. This Twisted Eden. The Savages Surrender. Ooh, I like that one . The Captive Who Loved Them . What do you think, Seth?”

My eyes fall on him, expecting to see him still glowering at his empty plate for some unknown reason, but he’s staring at me now through wide eyes with his mouth open.

It’s not until I see Thorin and Khalil wearing similar expressions that I realize my blunder.

I said I fucking loved them. At the very least, I alluded to it. Is that how I feel? No, it can’t be. They’re savages, and I’m soulless. We’re a match made in hell, but woefully uncapable of love.

“A-a-actually, I think I will shut up now.”

“Why would you do that?” Khalil purrs as he sits back in his seat with an arrogant twist of his lips. “You were just getting to the part where you apparently love us?”

I stare down at my plate. “Can we just forget I said that?”

“No, I don’t think we can,” Seth answers smugly.

“And I don’t think our story classifies as romance, do you? Maybe a case study for Stockholm syndrome, but that’s the best I can do.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and then Thorin asks, “Are you saying you want to be romanced, wolf?”

I shrug as I scoop up a forkful of eggs. “It would be nice. So far, Seth’s been doing all of the heavy lifting.”

Seth grins at that while Thorin and Khalil both drop their forks as if I’d slapped them.

“Are you fucking kidding me, wolf? I dove into a frozen lake for you,” Thorin protests.

“You did,” I acknowledge as I bite my bacon in half. “Why do you think I haven’t been spitting in your food lately?”

Thorin rolls his eyes as if that doesn’t surprise him in the least.

We eat in silence, but I can tell the three of them are thinking about what I said. I’m thinking too, but not about that. Suddenly, it comes to me.

“I know what I want to do now,” I tell Khalil. The others perk up at that, their gazes swinging to Khalil and back to me.

“Yeah?” Khalil asks. His mood has soured ever since I told him he needs to step it up. “What’s that?”

“Gardening.”

“Come again?”

“I want to start a garden.”

“We have a garden,” Thorin retorts grumpily.

“But you haven’t grown anything, so I thought I could give it a try. Wouldn’t it be easier to stock up for winter if you grew your own produce right here?”

“Maybe.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” Khalil says firmly. “Thorin’s just being a prick.”

“Oh, so like usual then?” That earns me a scowl from him, and I blow him a kiss in return.

“We’ll have to go into town for the supplies,” Thorin reminds Khalil.

The three of them exchange a meaningful look, and my stomach sinks a moment later when it hits me with the force of a sledgehammer—the reason for their hesitation.

They still don’t trust me.

Here I am, giving them everything like a fool when they’re still holding back.

My eyes prickle, and the room spins faster and faster until I inhale a deep, steadying breath. “You know what?” I shakily say as I rise from the table. “Forget it. Fuck the garden. I…I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Sunshine—”

“I said forget it, Seth.”

I feel all three of their eyes on me as I hurry from the dining room.

I can’t let them see.

I can’t let them have another part of me they don’t deserve.

These tears that I know won’t spill but have never come so dangerously close to doing so before now. They don’t deserve a single one.

I haven’t been out on the lower deck since my first night when Thorin marooned me for not wanting to give it up. At the time, it was just another stage set for my death that I somehow escaped yet again.

Right now, it’s my sanctuary.

My legs are threaded through the wooden rails while my bare feet dangle over the unforgiving wilds below. It’s a clear day full of vivid colors, but I don’t see any of it. My forehead rests against one of the bars, and my hand clutches my turning stomach as I take rapid, deep breaths and tell myself this is better.

It would have never worked between us anyway.

I’m too fucked up to truly love anyone.

And they…well, it’s clear they are capable of caring deeply for someone other than themselves. Their bond makes me envious sometimes.

But our biggest obstacle isn’t them or even me.

It’s Ezekiel.

None of us can truly know what will happen when he wakes up.

We are reckless, making promises before that eventuality occurs.

“Damn, girl. I’ve been looking for your ass everywhere,” Khalil fusses, breaking through my chaotic and confusing thoughts.

I didn’t even hear the deck door open or him sneaking up on me. I lift my head and pray my face keeps my secrets as he drops his powerful body down next to me while facing the opposite way.

Our gazes meet, and he places a possessive hand on my naked thigh. I’m still only wearing Seth’s T-shirt, which is heavy with his natural scent of juniper and leather. Goose bumps spread in every direction from our point of contact, even as my heart cracks inside my chest. I tell myself it’s the breeze from being up so high.

Khalil may want me, but he doesn’t trust me.

“It was only a matter of time before we fucked up, but it seems I gave us too much credit in thinking it wouldn’t be this soon.”

“What do you want, Khalil?”

“I wanted to check on my girl.” I laugh at that as I stare out at the Cold Peaks without really seeing it. “And to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I ask casually—as if my fractured heart isn’t already trying to fuse itself back together. I hold it at bay.

“It’s been my pleasure to make you feel many things—desire, anger, hatred…happiness.” At that last word, I finally let myself look at him. “But I never dreamed of making you sad, Aurelia.”

“I’m not sad.”

“No?”

“I’m…annoyed.”

Khalil’s hand leaves my thigh to tuck an errant curl behind my ear. His thumb somehow sweeps my jaw as he whispers, “We’re very annoying.”

My lips twist when I feel myself wanting to smile. “I won’t argue with you there, Poverly.”

“That’s a first.”

“Don’t push it.” My nostrils flare, and Khalil drops his head against the railing with a sigh.

“Trust is earned, Aurelia. Every time you promised us you wouldn’t run, you ran.”

“I know that,” I snap and feel my cheeks and neck warm at the reminder.

Khalil’s brown eyes soften a moment later. “Do you?”

I feel myself softening against my will, too. “Yes, Khalil.” Freeing my legs from between the rails, I stand, and so does Khalil. “Maybe I overreacted. I think I’m getting my period.”

My period…

It’s due in a few days, and I’m suddenly terrified that it might not come at all.

One problem at a time.

“Let me stop you right there. You didn’t. We hurt you, and the last thing we want is for you to invalidate or downplay your feelings. Not for us or anyone.” When he reaches for me, I go to him. “All we ask is that you give us the chance to fix it. Don’t run away.”

“And how will you fix this? Even if you did trust me, I can’t leave this mountain, Khalil. Someone will recognize me.”

“Trust is earned,” Khalil repeats as he reaches inside his heavy winter coat. It’s the first time I notice he’s fully dressed. “But it’s unfair of us to withhold it forever without giving you the chance to claim it.”

He pulls out a wooden object that’s flat with curved edges with two downturned oval holes for eyes near the center, a long snout for the nose and mouth, and two triangular tips for the ears. I recognize the carving he’s been working on for over a week—since the night Seth lost his virginity, and Khalil fucked me for the first time while I was unconscious.

“What is that?”

“I wasn’t sure at first when I started, but it was your face I saw the entire time I was carving it.”

I glance down at what I now realize is a mask and then back at him with a raised brow. “I look like a wolf?”

Khalil’s smile is sly as he hands me the mask. “I don’t know. Put it on, and I’ll tell you.”

I hesitate long enough for my heart to skip a beat, and then I curl my fingers around the wooden mask. “It won’t be comfortable,” Khalil warns me before I can lift it toward my face.

“I think I’ll manage.”

He looks nervous as I fit it over my face, and the world immediately narrows around me. All I see is Khalil as I stare back at him through the eye holes in the mask.

“Can you—”

Khalil is already reaching for the ties, securing them in a knot behind my head. He then turns me around to face him and checks the fit.

“Never take the mask off, and don’t speak to anyone,” he commands.

My stomach fills with nervous butterflies. “Are we really going into town?”

I was resigned to never leaving this mountain again.

“Yes. If anyone asks, your name is Aurora. You’re my cousin visiting from the States.”

It’s all the instruction I’m given before he takes my hand and leads me over to the deck door.

“So, where are you from?” I ask curiously.

Khalil glances at me over his shoulder as we enter the house. “Six Forks, Nevada.”

“Hmm…never heard of it.”