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SETH | EKEZ

“ S unshine is mad at me.” I lean against the island as Aurelia pours steaming coffee into three travel mugs. I’m close enough to touch her, but I don’t. I can’t bear to have her pull away from me like she did all during breakfast, which was actually not…that…bad.

“Yes, Seth. Sunshine is mad at you.”

“Why?”

Aurelia sets down the coffee pot with a thud and whirls around with her eyes narrowed. “Are you serious?”

I chew my lip when I realize it was a dumb question. I’m too used to Thorin and Khalil, who brush off my violence and make excuses for me when Zeke’s memories and mine take over.

“Is it because of last night?”

“You mean when I tried to help you, and you almost killed me?” She throws her hands on her hips, and I can’t help but remember the way Khalil held them as he used her to get himself off. It was all I could do not to reach inside my snow suit and stroke my own cock, but I didn’t think Sunshine would appreciate that since she was pissed at me. “Yes, Seth. It’s because of last night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Save it.” She gives me her back again and puts the lids on the tumblers.

I don’t hang back this time, though. I step up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

She tenses but doesn’t shrug me off.

Progress.

“Some day, I’ll tell you about what happened to Zeke,” I promise. “I’ll tell you about him, and me, and Bane. I’ll tell you what they did to us, but only when you’re not mad at me so that you don’t think I’m fessing up to make you feel sorry for me.”

Aurelia tries at first to pretend she doesn’t care, but then she’s turning around in my arms and peeking up at me. “You said his name last night. Zeke. Who is he?”

I take her hands and place them on my face. “He’s who you should see when you look at me. This is his body, Aurelia. I just live in it.”

Her lips part to respond, but then she shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Zeke and I share the same body, but we’re not the same people. We don’t just have different names. We have different memories, sometimes, and different mannerisms. We don’t always like the same things either. His favorite color is black. I like purple. We even sound different.”

I hold my breath, expecting her to freak out, but all she says is, “Purple? Wow. I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“It looks fun,” I explain with a shrug. “I like fun.”

Finally, Aurelia grins at me, but it doesn’t last. I can see the wheels turning in her head and her struggling to name the pieces she’s putting together in her head. “So what you have is like…multiple personalities?”

“It’s called Dissociative Identity Disorder, but yes.”

“Seth, that’s crazy.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Her light brown becomes flushed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I-I’m sorry. That was rude.” She starts trembling in my arms, too afraid that I’ll hurt her.

“Shh. It’s okay.” I turn my head and kiss her small hand that’s still holding my face. “It sounds pretty fucking whacked to me. One day, I just woke up in this body with no idea of who I was, where I came from, or why I was being tortured. I had no memories. All I had was Ezekiel.”

“Tortured?” she gasps.

I kiss her nose and say, “Later.”

“So this is his body, and you…”

Aurelia leaves me to fill in the blanks. “Bane and I protect him.”

“Bane?”

“You don’t want to meet him,” I warn. My grave tone makes her eyes widen. That guy freaks even me out, but I don’t want to scare Sunshine, so I leave it at that. Aurelia’s lucky it was me that Ezekiel woke up that day and not his guard dog.

“Is he scary?” I nod, so she peers at me curiously. “Scarier than you?”

I don’t like hearing that she’s scared of me, but I guess that’s fair. “Oh, yeah.”

Her voice is casual as she drops her hands from my face to my shoulders before sliding them down my chest. She touches me willingly for the first time, and maybe that’s why I think nothing of it when she asks, “Are Thorin and Khalil afraid of him?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. So if you all share the same body, how do you protect Zeke?”

The swift change in subject confuses me for a moment, but I go with it. “I take his pain. Zeke is…fragile. He wasn’t always, and it’s not as bad as before Thorin and Khalil got him out, but he has a setback every once in a while.”

“Out? Out of where?”

“The Seeds of the Undying. Zeke’s father had another son. The brothers met when Zeke was nineteen. Isaac tracked Zeke down in Nevada and convinced him to visit his ranch in New Mexico and hang out for a while. That’s how Isaac phrased it at the time, so Zeke went, but it was bullshit.”

“It didn’t go well?”

“No. It did not.” I can feel the darkness and pain rising inside of me, but one look into Aurelia’s trusting eyes as she lets me hold her, and I push it down.

“What happened?”

I nuzzle my nose in her neck and say, “Another time, remember?”

“Fine. It’s just hard to believe that Thor and Khalil let Isaac take Zeke. They seem territorial. Protective,” she admits reluctantly.

My lips pull back from my teeth in a silent snarl. “That’s because they weren’t there,” I say with more than a decade’s worth of resentment. “Thorin and Khalil left Zeke all alone to make better lives for themselves elsewhere—without him. I don’t care much for Zeke’s friends, but I have to give it to Thor and Khalil. They love him. Had they been there, they would have seen through Isaac’s bullshit and protected him. Zeke was always too trusting, always going with the flow. It was irresponsible to go with Isaac.”

“Is that why you hate Thor and Khalil? Because they weren’t there for Zeke?”

“Yes.”

“Seth, you know that’s not fair, right?”

“Maybe.”

“No, Seth. It’s not their fault Zeke’s brother was a monster, and it’s not Zeke’s fault his heart was open to love. It’s what we do. We give ourselves over to love and hope we don’t get hurt.”

I bite my lip to keep from telling her that it feels exactly like what’s happening between us, except I know I’ll get hurt because she won’t stop trying to leave. “I guess I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“You mentioned setbacks before. Like what?”

“Like you.”

She looks shocked when she says, “ Me ?”

“Zeke was the one who found you that day. He was afraid you were here to hurt him, so he woke me.”

“He woke you?”

“When one of us retreats, another alter takes over. Zeke is the only one who can wake up at will. We can keep him suppressed but not for long, and it’s not easy.”

“So what do you do in there while one of the others are out here?”

“We sleep.”

“You’re not aware of anything that’s happening around you? Like at all?”

“Only what we choose to share with each other.”

“Oh.”

I dip my head and run my nose down her neck. I wonder if she knows that it was my soap she used in Thorin’s shower today. She smells like me. “Don’t worry, Sunshine. I’m going to tell him about you. I won’t be able to resist. You’re my girl.”

“I’m not your girl.”

“Oh.” This crushing feeling settles in my chest at her rejection. I should be used to it by now, but I don’t think I ever will. It fucking hurts. “I get it.” It kills me to put some space between us, but I have to because it feels like I’m splitting into two pieces, and I still want nothing more than for Aurelia to claim them both. Is this what heartache feels like? “You like Thorin better.”

“No.”

“Khalil?”

“Definitely not.”

Sighing, I rest my forehead against hers. “I don’t understand, Sunshine. Help me. Please.”

“Seth…” I lift my head, and Aurelia chews on her bottom lip while she looks up at me curiously. “How old was Zeke when you woke up for the first time?”

“Twenty-two.”

“And you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

I frown as I shake my head. “No, I…I guess not.” Is that why she doesn’t like me? Because I don’t have experience? Ezekiel does. Maybe I could ask Thorin or Khalil. It would be humiliating, but for Sunshine—

“So you’re a virgin?”

I drop my head and nod reluctantly. “Yeah.”

“Seth.”

I shake my head because I can’t look her in the eye now that she knows, but Aurelia doesn’t give up easily. She rises onto her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck, and she presses her sweet lips to my cheek over and over.

“Kiss me,” she urges when I just stand there like a dope.

“Really?”

“Kiss me, Seth. It’s okay.”

She’s barely finished the sentence before I press my lips against hers with a groan. The kiss starts off chaotic and uncoordinated, a dance of two people learning each other’s rhythms. But it doesn’t take us long to create our own.

“Like this, Sunshine?” I ask against her lips.

“Mm-hmm, yeah.” Aurelia moans and presses herself hard against me. “Just like that, Seth.”

Her lips are so soft. She’s so soft.

I like kissing. But only with Sunshine. She’s the only girl I want to share all my kisses with. I know it the moment we come up for air, and she has this sparkle in her eye as she smiles at me. I can’t see ever wanting this with anyone else. I may have to kiss her all the time. What a bummer.

“Okay, Seth.” Aurelia breathes heavily. “I’ll be your girlfriend on one condition.”

“Yeah?” I hold her closer. Now that I have her. I can’t let her go. “What’s that? I’ll do anything.”

We both jump like we were caught with our hand in the cookie jar when we hear Thorin’s bedroom door slam closed. He must be done washing the egg out of his hair.

His heavy footsteps are heading this way, so Aurelia says quickly and quietly, “Don’t let them hurt me.”

She turns away from me just as Thorin enters the kitchen.

Khalil is right behind him.

They’re both dressed in their snow suits so we can spend another pointless day looking for our girl when we’ve got her right where we want her. Well, almost.

“Tell me you at least forgive me for last night,” I demand. I can feel Thorin and Khalil watching us, but I pay them no mind as I turn Aurelia back around to face me. “I don’t want to hurt you. I like you, Sunshine. A lot.”

“Why?” Aurelia blurts out with a mixture of surprise and disbelief as if she doesn’t think there’s anything about her worth loving.

“Because you’ll never stop fighting. You won’t give up like I did.”

She’s frowning, and I wonder if I said the wrong thing until she blushes and tries to play it off by grabbing one of the coffee tumblers and handing it to me.

“Thank you, Sunshine.” I lean down to kiss her but pause, just shy of touching her lips, to make sure it’s okay. When she gives a small nod, I smile through the kiss before pulling away. “You take such good care of us.”

She looks torn about the praise before settling on, “Thanks.”

“Goldilocks,” Khalil calls. She looks past me toward him, and I press a hand to her hip to let her know that I’m here. I won’t let them hurt her.

She doesn’t do more than flick her gaze toward me and back to Khalil. “Yes?”

“We’ll be back for dinner early, and we’ll be hungry. I prefer not to have a repeat of last night because you’re out of chances. Stay inside and make yourself useful. Understand?”

By some fucking miracle, I stay where I am instead of flying across the kitchen to rip out his entrails and lay them at my girlfriend’s feet.

Girlfriend.

Fuck, that feels good to say.

Aurelia George is my girlfriend . My first…and my only.

“Yes,” Aurelia answers softly. She grabs the other two travel mugs and steps away from me to give them to Thorin and Khalil. “I understand.”