Page 26

ERIK

JANUARY

Getting back into the swing of things after the winter break is never easy, especially when it’s twice as long as in the AHL.

We’re a few days into the new year, I’m sitting on my sofa relaxing before our first game back, and my thumb is hovering next to Luke’s contact on my phone. He’s online, so I give him a call.

He answers from bed, and my jaw slackens. Yeah, even after four months, the sight of Luke’s sleep-mussed hair, combined with his deep voice, still makes me lose my train of thought. It’s a problem I never want to solve.

“Hey, Lukey,” I say. Does using his nickname blur lines? Absolutely. But Luke’s face brightens whenever I say it, so that encourages me.

“Hi, what’s up?” he asks, sitting upright.

“Nothing much, thought I’d give you a call.” I wait for Luke to finish yawning. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“Nah, you’re good. I’ve been awake for a bit.” His video shakes as he gets out of bed and walks over to his office. Setting his phone down on the desk, he leans back, and I’m blessed with a view of Luke in one of my old hockey shirts.

Luke freezes and squints at the screen. “Hold on a second, is it sunny over there?”

I turn my head to check out the window, and he’s right.

Luke groans and lets his head fall into his hands. “It’s been cloudy for weeks here. I don’t think I’ve seen the sun since November.”

I raise my eyebrows. “We’ve had a weird amount of sunshine this winter. It’s been great, but it still gets dark super early.”

“Maybe I should visit,” Luke says, and my heart jumps into my throat.

Yes. Please. Please visit Sweden. Oh my god, please come here. Ideally tomorrow. For a month. Or however long Canadians are allowed to stay.

“That would be sick,” I manage, barely keeping my tone level.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll accept your invitation. You remember that, right?”

I nod back because I do remember. I was buzzed, but drunk words are sober thoughts.

“So, what would you say if I told you I was scrolling through flights before you called?”

“I’d say hold on because I don’t want you to come to Stockholm when I’m on the road.”

Luke lets out one of his effortless, magnetic laughs, which draws an even bigger grin out of me. “Don’t worry, I was looking at your schedule,” he says, tapping at his computer.

The keyboard is the only sound that I hear for about a minute, and then Luke stretches up, cracking his knuckles. “Okay, I have a price calendar for week-long trips to and from every airport in Sweden for January through April.”

I didn’t know it was even possible to do that, but hey, it’s impressive as hell. “What are prices like?” I ask, trying to get a feel for what’s happening.

Luke sighs, and I hear clicking. Then his face scrunches up. “Everything is $1700, minimum,” he says.

My stomach drops. He’s not going to spend that much just to see me, is he?

Now there’s a pit of disappointment in my stomach.

“Well, it’s not like I have any other options,” he says, and I track his eyes as they dart around his computer screen.

Wait, is he going for it?

But then he stops. “Hold up. Let me check how much it is to book with points.” He does some more clicking, darts his head around, and then faces the phone again.

“A round-trip flight is only 40,000 points for when you have a week of home games next month.”

I have no idea how much 40,000 points is worth, but Luke seems surprised.

“Are you going to get the tickets?” I ask, maybe with a little too much excitement.

Luke’s video cuts out. “Just bought them!”

I didn’t think it was possible to hear a smile through the phone, but with Luke, it’s clear. His video comes back and I’m right—the guy is beaming . That makes me beam, too.

Luke sighs, calm and comfortable. “I’m already looking forward to it.”

“Just so you know, it isn’t that much warmer here than in Toronto.”

He waves me off. “I don’t mind. You’ll be there, so I’ll have an awesome time anyway.”

Fucking hell, my heart can’t catch a break, can it? And Luke isn’t even trying to make me hurt.

“Aw, thanks, I can’t wait,” I force out.

“Me neither, I’m so pumped!”

He’s gonna get pumped when he’s here if I have any say in it.

“Anyway, I’ll sort out the logistics later,” he continues. “How are you feeling about the game tonight?”

I purse my lips. “It’ll be a tough one. Trying to stay calm about it.”

“When do you have to get ready?”

Scratching my neck, I check the time and realize that I’m running a little late. “I should get going. I’m eating with Nils before the game.”

“Sounds good. Good luck against G?vle tonight.” Then he hangs up.

Wait.

He said G?vle without screwing up the pronunciation. I shoot him a text to get to the bottom of this.

Odd question but have you been learning Swedish?

Nej, men jeg laerer dansk

Oh, come on. There’s no way he’s learning Danish . Ugh.

Fuck off

That’s not allowed or we can’t be friends

Lmao dw that was a translation

I’ve been learning Swedish with an app though

I’m trying to understand what’s going on when I stream your games

I know he watches my games, but he’s learning Swedish too? Luke likes me back, for sure, but one week in Sweden isn’t going to change the fact that he lives in Canada.

What the hell am I supposed to do about this?

I mean, I’ve been ignoring it just fine, so I’ll keep at it. Anything else would be too uncomfortable.

Sighing, I head out, and Luke texts me his itinerary as I’m in the lift. I skim it while letting myself into Nils and Silja’s apartment.

“Hey, Norre.” Nils turns to face me and freezes. “What are you so happy about?”

“Nothing. Why do you ask, should I be happy about something?”

He laughs. “Dude, don’t lie to me. The rest of the team is shitting our collective pants because of the game tonight, but you’re smiling like we’ve already won.”

My face heats up, and I lower my head.

“Look, you’re still grinning! Don’t try to hide it.” Nils drags me into a side hug and rubs my shoulder. “Come on, buddy. Spill.”

I shake my head. “Nah, there isn’t anything.”

“I don’t believe you for a second.”

“It’s about Luke,” I deadpan.

“I knew it! What’s going on with him?”

“He’s coming to visit next month.”

Nils tenses up before stepping back, one corner of his mouth curving up. “Luke is visiting you?”

“Yup.” I keep my voice low, not wanting to make a huge deal out of this with Nils.

“Holy shit, that’s amazing!”

Silja sticks her head out of the bedroom before walking over to join us. “What’s amazing?”

“Erik’s Canadian friend is coming to visit him!”

Silja opens her mouth and breaks into a surprised smile. “That’s great! Are you excited?”

“Oh yeah,” I reply immediately. “So is Luke.”

Nils and Silja look at each other.

“Are you gonna say it, or should I?” Nils whispers to Silja. She sends a pointed expression back at him, and then he turns to me. “The face you make when you talk about Luke is so cute.”

Oh my fucking god.

“Well, I can’t help it, can I?” I mutter. “I’m a complete wreck for a guy who lives on the other side of the world.”

Nils claps my shoulder. “He’s on the other side of the world for now . He’s visiting you!”

“When is he coming?” Silja pulls out her phone.

“Week six. That’s when we have a long stretch of home games, and he’ll be here for all of them.”

“Aww, you’ve already memorized his travel dates,” says Nils as Silja taps away at her phone. I roll my eyes.

Silja puts her phone on the counter. “The first home game of that week is on a Friday. I’ll take that day off and keep him company.”

“That’d be kind of you, thanks,” I say.

Nils pumps the air. “Nice! Silja can teach Luke how to drink like a Swede while they wait for us after our games.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Silja leans into an excited Nils who lifts her off the ground.

“Okay,” I start, hoping to get a handle on the situation before it gets out of control. “Please be chill with Luke.”

Nils chuckles. “Silja, get Luke drunk and wingman Erik like your life depends on it.”

“What?” Silja and I say in unison. Unfortunately for me, our collective shock doesn’t stick to Silja, who almost instantly adopts the same scheming smirk as her boyfriend.

“Guys, come on. You don’t need to feed into this.” I fix them with a pleading expression that I hope convinces them to let this go.

Silja’s expression softens. “Don’t worry, Erik. I’m not going to poke around or anything. If he doesn’t feel the same way about you, I won’t try to change that.”

Relieved that those two are at least thinking about backing off, I sigh. “Why are you guys more excited for Luke to visit than I am?”

“We aren’t. You’re in denial,” Nils says.

He’s got me there. “Okay, fine, but again. He’s here for a week. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

Nils plonks the baking dish on a trivet. “Do you want me to nick his passport when he isn’t looking?”

“Nils, what the hell? No. Please don’t force him into anything.”

Silja giggles. “Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep him in line, even though I’d like to watch more of the Luke and Erik show.”

“If you like watching tragedies, you’re in the right place,” I mutter.

Nils plates up the meat and serves us while frowning at me. “Look, man. I don’t know exactly how you feel, but there’s way more to a relationship than being together physically. Silja spent half a year on exchange in Spain, and that was barely two months after we met. Now look at us.”

Living together in Stockholm, practically married at twenty-two, and the subjects of an adoring fan page with over 50,000 followers.

That’s as far as you can get from having a stubborn crush on an almost-boyfriend, one that I don’t necessarily want to shake.

One that Luke and I are both feeding into with horny texts and frequent check-ins, like it’s a game of chicken that neither of us wants to tap out of.

I don’t even want to think about how we’ll get out of this.

“Seriously,” Silja says, taking a bite of her food. “Tell me if I’m overstepping, but if you two like each other, what’s stopping you from getting together?”

“An ocean and six time zones? He deserves more than someone who goes to bed at the same time he gets off work.”

Nils sighs. “Okay, this conversation isn’t going anywhere. All we’re trying to say is that you two still like each other despite the distance, and despite the many months you’ve been apart. Just a little something to think about.”

I’ll give him that. Liking Luke isn’t sending me into a spiral or messing with my performance on the ice, and as long as it stays that way, it’s tenable.

I’m not sure how I’ll react when Luke visits, but I can’t deny how excited I am for him to come here.

He’ll arrive in Stockholm as my friend, and I’m hoping he leaves the same way.

My heart won’t make it through the only sensible alternative, which is losing Luke completely.