Page 21 of Critical Doubt

"I didn't see any obvious notes in the living room or kitchen. Anything in here?"

"I haven't gone through the dresser drawers or looked that closely."

"If either one had left a note, it would be easy to find. It would be in a place where we would see it."

"They weren't quitters, Savannah. They were warriors. They fought to the end. They didn't care how tough it was. They didn't give up. Believe me, I went through a lot of extremely tense situations with both of them. They didn't crack. Not when a lot of people would have."

"Sometimes the personal battles are harder to fight, especially when you're not with your team anymore."

"Well, I don't think they killed themselves. You can believe what you want."

"Okay," she said evenly. "I haven't actually formed an opinion; I'm still gathering facts."

"Is that what they teach you in the FBI?" He could hear the edge in his voice, and he saw the flash of annoyance enter Savannah's eyes.

"You sound like you want to pick a fight, Ryker, but I'm not interested in being your sparring partner." She turned on her heel and walked out.

He followed her down the stairs and into the living room. "You're right," he said, as she moved toward the front door.

She stopped at his words, slowly turning around, an expectant gleam in her pretty eyes.

"I am itching for a fight," he added. "I want to hit something. I want to blow something up. I want to burn something down. I want to put my anger somewhere, because it's eating me up."

Compassion filled her gaze. "I feel the same way. Abby and I go way back, and Paul was like a big brother to me. I didn't know Todd that well, but I'm in pain for my friend and for the loss of two men who should not have died like this."

"I get it. You care. I care. It's not a contest. It just sucks." He took a breath as he gazed around the room. "Everything has sucked for the last nine months."

"I saw the scars on your leg. What happened?"

"I blew out my knee, messed up some tendons, took some shrapnel. It's been a long recovery process."

"I'm sorry, Ryker."

"It is what it is."

"Abby said Paul wouldn't tell her what happened that night."

"Our mission was classified."

"It must have been important."

"And it was a failure in more ways than I can count. We lost two men that day and now two more are gone. There are only three of us left." He couldn't quite come to grips with that fact.

"You could have lost your life today, too, jumping into the river the way you did."

"Well, I survived." He thought about what Todd had said at the church. "It's ironic. One of the last things Todd said to me was that he was the one who always survived and sometimes he couldn't take it." As soon as he finished speaking, he realized he'd just reinforced what she was already thinking. "But Todd didn't mean that literally. I should have stopped him from leaving the church. But he was pissed off at me for not keeping in touch with him, and I let him go."

"You didn't know what was going to happen. Don't add another weight of blame to your shoulders; too much will crush you."

"Easier said than done."

"What else did Todd say to you?"

"If you're thinking he gave me some clue…"

"Just wondering what the conversation was about."

"He talked about Paul's problems, his drinking, his feeling of worthlessness. He complained about my lack of engagement with them. He thought I abandoned them. He wasn't wrong. I've been in my own head for a long time." He let out a breath. "And then he started ranting about the army."