Page 15 of Crescendo

Ella

“What are you doing here?” I asked, staring wildly at Alisha and Sian. Standing on my doorstep.

Sian shot me a deadpan look. “You’re falling apart on us at breakfast, having a shit day, and then you suddenly stop answering our messages. I don’t know, what could we be doing here?”

“You’re checking up on me.” It was deeply unnecessary for me to spell it out, but, well, I wasn’t sure I was in my right mind presently.

I had just made a… flirtatious remark to the woman who’d found me being a mess at the piano, had me playing more music than I had in a long time, probably just had a moment with me, and then we’d been interrupted by my best friends.

Best friends who were bound to see everything I was feeling around Lydia.

This was going to be mortifying.

“Yes, we’re checking up on you. Now, let us in. It’s freezing out here.” Sian moved to walk around me and into the building.

“No, it’s not.”

Alisha shook her head. “It’s really not, Sian.”

She turned to scowl at us before heading straight for the flat and Lydia. Alisha followed after her.

I needed to stop her, to intervene, to do… something.

But, apparently, the universe hated me, because there was another ring of the doorbell, and I heard Lydia laugh through the open door as I reluctantly turned to answer again.

“Hey,” Clara said, a light smile on her face as Bansi beamed over her shoulder. “Did you two get lost?”

I blinked, feeling like the room was spinning. “Oh. Erm. Yeah, sorry. We were… doing homework and then two of my friends just showed up…”

Clara frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Never better.” That was a lie. She knew it, I knew it. Bansi probably knew it. “But, come on in. I guess we’ve got two more joining us.”

“Two more friends who don’t know how to take a hint?”

“What?”

She laughed, stepping aside to let Bansi in first. “Don’t worry about it.”

Well, then I definitely would.

As I went to walk back to the music room, Clara stopped me, keeping her voice low. “Are you doing okay?”

The shame that shot through me was like needles, poking me from the inside out. I was aware everyone knew, everyone had seen me in class, but the acknowledgement of it, hearing her talk about it burned like bile. I’d never been so bad in a class in my life. I shouldn’t have been this bad.

I mentally pressed down through my body into the ground, attempting to shove the feelings away. “I’m fine. Yeah.”

She nodded, readily putting the subject away, and I felt relief and gratitude rush through me. Lydia pushing was one thing, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle it if Clara did too.

We walked towards the door through which the sound of the others was filtering.

I couldn’t say I was surprised to hear the conversation flowing readily—I knew my friends—but that didn’t make it any less terrifying.

Alisha knew how to be discreet, but between Lydia and Sian, I couldn’t guarantee they weren’t saying ridiculously embarrassing things about me.

They all looked at me as I came in, Bansi already having replaced us at the piano. He was a soothing presence to be around, always so happy and so enthusiastic. Technically, he was still learning, but he loved the music so much, and you could see and hear that in everything he did.

“So,” I said, a little awkwardly, “you’ve all done your introductions?”

“Nope,” Lydia said with a big smile, but there was something loaded in her eyes when she looked at me, like she hadn’t quite moved on from our moment together either. “We thought it was polite to wait for you.”

“Did you?” I glanced at Sian and Alisha. The former was wearing a similar grin to Lydia, the latter, an amused, knowing look.

They’d both have questions for me later. Ones I definitely didn’t want to answer.

Lydia hummed and stepped a little closer to me. “So, go ahead.”

I shot her a look. “Fine.” I moved my hand around, gesturing to each of them as I said their names, finishing with, “Everyone, meet everyone.”

Clara looked amused by the tension in the room, but I could have hugged her when she had the tact to say, “We were going to head out to the pub down the street for some food. Fancy joining us?”

“Yeah, I could definitely eat,” Alisha said. A nice, normal answer.

Sian, however, lit up. “Oh, I definitely want to come. Let’s go.”

I was going to kill her. Or die. Or die and then come back to murder her.

Lydia laughed and I could see exactly how those two were going to get along. I could also only imagine the undercurrent that had passed through their conversation before I made it back to the room to supervise them.

We did, however, make it down to the pub—the one we’d had our welcome breakfast at—without incident.

Sian and Alisha asked questions about the programme, and, while they were both clearly worried about me, they hid it well, and, by the time we were ordering, I was starting to feel less like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to fall apart.

As seemed to be my default these days, I’d planned to sit next to Lydia, hadn’t even really thought about it. But, when Alisha and Sian flanked me to the table, it had hit me that Lydia had been my target.

She ended up sitting directly across from me, and I couldn’t decide whether that was better or not.

I liked the feeling of her sitting next to me, the comfort of her being there.

I’d liked the press of her against me as we played together…

But I’d also liked the way she’d looked at me, I’d liked looking into those electric blue eyes.

And, sitting across from her, looking into them was easy.

Every time I looked up, she was what I found.

Lydia was the prettiest woman I’d ever seen.

Of course, for the last four years, I hadn’t been interested in dating, hadn’t noticed anyone.

I hadn’t been planning to notice her, either, but here we were.

Me, watching her soft, plump lips as they stretched over perfect teeth while she laughed at something Bansi had said.

Alisha cleared her throat quietly but pointedly. I blushed and looked at her, seeing it written across her face. She knew exactly what I’d been thinking.

She glanced around the table, noting that everyone else was absorbed in conversation, and subtly adjusted her posture so the hand she was leaning on obscured her mouth. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that,” she breathed.

“Not now,” I whispered back urgently.

She laughed quickly before settling into a smirk as she watched Lydia speak.

I knew exactly how long it had been. Medicine was busy, but not busy enough to stop people falling in… lust, mostly, in my experience. Sometimes love, but mostly lust.

But, when we’d lost Callum, I’d put all of that away—along with everything else. It had been better that way.

I just hadn’t really thought about how Alisha and Sian had been tracking all of those things, too. They’d stuck with me through a lot of changes and now, here they were, sitting right in the middle of Crescendo and Lydia and new friends. And, as much as that terrified me, it felt right, too.

“So, what do you do, Alisha?” Clara asked. Her large glasses reflected the ring of lightbulbs on the Middle Ages inspired chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

Lydia's eyes, like everyone else’s, turned towards Alisha, but mine found her instead.

She had her arms crossed on the table, leaning on them as she listened to Alisha talk about being an anaesthetist.

“Med school buddies, huh?” Clara asked, nodding in my direction.

“You too, Sian?” Bansi asked.

Sian laughed as I glanced her way. “Initially, sure. Turns out, medicine wasn’t for me. Made it through the first year, trying desperately to cling on, but couldn’t bring myself to go back, so I transferred to music business management. Medicine is how the three of us met, though.”

Bansi lunged into conversation with her about why medicine and how his own family had influenced his studies, and I couldn’t resist looking back at Lydia.

This time, she was looking at me too. A soft, considering smile on her face. Something proud there, too, though I couldn’t quite figure that out. Still, I held her gaze and the rest of the world seemed to blur into the background.

My heart pounded like it was just the two of us again, back on that piano bench, so close I thought she might kiss me. So close I thought I might kiss her.

When I’d been nineteen—and apparently behind the curve—I’d had my first kiss.

In the moment, I’d thought nothing would ever feel as disconcerting and exhilarating as that kiss and those drawn out seconds right before our lips met.

But sitting on that bench with Lydia… Even just looking at her now, distantly aware that we were in public and not alone, felt every bit as charged.

Under the table, a foot brushed mine. I’d have pulled away immediately, apologised to whomever it belonged to, but I knew I didn’t need to. I knew from the glint in her eyes that it was her.

I’d never played footsie with anyone before. In truth, I’d never quite believed it was a thing people really did. But, as soon as she touched me, I finally understood it.

We were playing a dangerous game and I wasn’t sure if it was anything beyond this—a few looks and flirty remarks and a little footsie under the table—but I didn’t want to stop.

I brushed my foot against hers, my heart racing and my breathing spiking, even as I fought to remain impassive at the table. Lydia did a better job of it than I did, but I felt attuned to every twitch, every tiny movement on her face.

“So,” Sian said, her voice sounding loud and intrusive.

I jumped, tearing my gaze from Lydia but avoiding Sian and any knowing accusations I might find on her face.

“Yes?” Lydia asked, clearly not as shaky as I was feeling.

“Do we get to talk about your career now? We’ve been carefully avoiding the famous elephant in the room, but we’ve covered what everyone else does.”