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Chapter Twenty-Six

Tessa

The next three weeks are a blur of activities. Speaking to detectives from both the Valencia and LA police departments and giving witness statements take up a good chunk of my time.

It was a good thing I didn’t go back to my apartment because Diane, who lives in the same complex, has been telling me how they’ve been getting accosted by paps and media agents wanting information about the crime that happened there.

The whole of Valencia is in a frenzy over the rumors, and Joyce, unfortunately, seems to be caught right in the middle of it.

I imagine that she’s just as clueless as I had been, given how desperately she has been trying to speak to me. When I’m not juggling police interviews and dodging the media and Joyce, I’ve been missing Nathan like mad.

Maddy, Isa’s four-year-old girl, sits beside me at the gleaming, laminate dining table, feeding one of her dolls a crumb from her almost empty plate, chatting happily while I make non- committal noises at the appropriate times to indicate that I’m following along.

“Maddy, darling, go wash your hands, then you can come back to play before bath time.”

“But, Mommy, Aunty Tessa and Mini-maddy are still having their dinner. They have to finish first.”

I notice Isa’s stern look, and I quickly make myself take another forkful of the pasta she made. It’s one of those rare Saturdays that Isa isn’t on call and has no tutorials booked, so I appreciate her going all out for dinner. I just don’t have an appetite.

My dad has been discharged from the hospital and is in prison custody. I agreed to testify at his trial, and my faculty, already aware of this development, will be making adjustments for the days I need to return to LA to appear in court.

I have two more weeks before my work placement at the Fount is over, but Walter has already sent Zara in as my replacement, insisting that I take the remaining time to rest before my final semester begins.

I thought I wanted space from Nathan, that I couldn’t trust the overwhelming desire to be with and give up everything for him. It’s only gotten worse with the distance and every time we talk on the phone.

I played it cool for the first few days after he left for Maiduguri, only occasionally staring at the email address he gave me to contact him if I wanted him to call me.

I barely made it through the first week. By the tenth day, I got an email from Nathan about a fire outbreak that caused all flights to be grounded from the local airport.

Then, I made the colossal mistake of looking up the place he went to.

I broke, begging for twice-a-day calls until he came back.

And resolved to have a serious-as-hell talk with him about his future medical outreach destinations once he returned.

I already know that my next six months in Boston will be torture.

“Look, Mommy, Aunty Tessa is just moving food around her plate, none of it is going into her mouth,” Maddy announces.

Isa, who is across the kitchen, only shakes her head in disappointment. “You specifically asked for pasta and meatballs, Tessa.”

I shrug apologetically. “I’m sorry. I really was craving it at the time, but my appetite disappeared again.”

She rolls her eyes playfully. “Seriously, I can’t wait for your baby daddy to get back because I can’t deal with you anymore.”

To Maddy, she says, “Sweetie, Aunty Tessa is thinking so hard that she can’t eat much, but now that you mention it, she will finish her food.”

After she gives me a meaningful look, I start shoveling forkfuls of pasta into my mouth, barely tasting it but acting like it’s the best food I’ve ever had.

As soon as I’m done and Maddy gets excused to go play, Isa turns to me. “Tessa, why on Earth did you think distance was going to give you clarity?”

“There was so much going on, and I was also scared to tell him I’m pregnant. And with his mom’s last words to me, I wasn’t sure how they would take it.”

Shaking her head, Isa sends me an exasperated look. “You mean the woman who’s been here practically every day trying to get back into your good books?”

“Yes, we’re cool now, but a couple of weeks ago, we were not.”

“And when is Nathan getting back?”

“It’s been three weeks, Isa,” I whine. “I hate it. I can’t eat or sleep. I just want to be with him. But I also need to go back to Boston and finish my degree.”

“As you should. But not like this. Not without him knowing just how much you love him.”

“I know. But, Isa, he doesn’t do relationships, and with good reason. I’m scared of losing myself in him and finding out that he can’t give me everything.”

And I want all of him. Desperately. Only getting a part of him would destroy me in the long run.

“So, you self-sabotage because you’re scared and you feel guilty about what your dad did? You know, Nathan is a big boy and you said it yourself, he’ll give you whatever you ask for. My worry is that he might just let you go if you push him away. And then, what happens when you get to Boston heartbroken and realize that he’s moving on?”

Nathan wouldn’t let me go.

I open my mouth to tell her that, but she interrupts me by saying, “I know every relationship is different, but running away cost me my happy ending.”

“Isa, I’m sorry.”

“I pushed Max away because I didn’t want my heart broken by a man who may not have had it in him to commit. A bigger part of me wanted him to tear all the obstacles apart and claim me for himself and prove to me I meant more to him. It hurts that he didn’t do it.”

My phone rings, jarring me from my thoughts, and I peer down at the screen to see that it’s Nathan.

My heart thuds painfully. It’s been two whole days since we last spoke. The network connection in Maiduguri isn’t the strongest; sometimes, we give up speaking on the phone altogether. I’m just hoping I can get five or ten minutes of uninterrupted time with him today.

“Hey, Nathan.”

“Christ, I’ve missed you.”

“Me too. So much. When are you getting back?”

“Baby, look outside the window.”

My screech makes Isa jump about a foot into the air, and I run to the window. Nathan is leaning against his A8 with his aviator sunglasses on.

For a moment, I just take him in. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my attraction to him.

Isa comes over to the window, then gasps when she sees Nathan.

“Tessa, why the hell are you still standing here?”

My legs are already moving, and in the next moment, I’m running downstairs like an excited little girl and flying into Nathan’s waiting arms. My lips crash into his as I greedily run my hands all over him and push them into his hair.

We’re ravenous, oblivious to where we are until we hear a whistle and a cheer in the distance and break apart.

He dips his face into the crook of my neck. “Fuck space, Tess. Move back in with me. I want to be there for you and support you while you’re making sense of this bullshit with your dad. I want to wear you out, put you to sleep every night, and wake up with you wrapped around me.”

My heart starts to pound even as my nipples bead. “I—you don’t do commitment.”

He huffs out a disbelieving laugh. “Tessa, have you been around me these past few weeks? I’m so fucking hooked on you that it’s insane. I’m actually worried about freaking you out at this point.”

“What do you mean?”

Another catcall. Yes, Isa’s apartment is in that sort of neighborhood. She has retained her apartment since med school because of the easy commute to and from work, Maddy’s babysitters and playgroups, and a nearby network of single moms.

Nothing Chris says ever makes her budge about moving.

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Nathan takes my hand and leads me inside.

I wish we were going into my apartment, then I might be pulling him into my bedroom rather than Isa’s living room. Thankfully, Isa’s nowhere to be seen. As soon as we get into the house, Nathan pins me right against the door and devours my mouth in a way that leaves me slick and whimpering.

"I take it you missed me," he rasps when we come up for air.

"Nathan," I gasp, my words turning into a moan when he nibbles a path along my jaw to my earlobe. "I swear, I'm going to kill you. Do you know how many heart attacks I had when I looked the place up?" I try to sound annoyed, but it's hard when his touch is so distracting.

Nathan chuckles against my skin, his breath warm and teasing. "Isn't that why you shouldn't be Googling symptoms?"

"Symptoms, yes. Not freaking warzones, Nathan. Are you kidding me!" I pull back slightly, trying to muster a serious look, but it's a lost cause against the twinkle in his eyes.

His grin widens. "It's not as bad as it sounds. People live there, and they need help. It’s actually one of my safer destinations, you know."

I gape at him, incredulous. Finally, I snap, "Well, I'd say you've helped there enough. There are plenty of other places where you're desperately needed."

"Oh, really? Like where?" He quirks an eyebrow, a playful challenge in his gaze.

I lean in, our noses almost touching, and whisper with a mischievous glint, "Take a wild guess."

Nathan's eyes darken with a mixture of amusement and something more intense, more promising. “Theresa Blackwell,” he whispers. “I hope you’ve had enough time to think because I’ve got a serious question for you.”

“What is it?”

There's a charged silence, and then he says, “If I told you that I wanted to make you my wife, would you run?”

I gasp, not being able to fully believe what I’m hearing. “Um, Nathan—”

“Tess, I’m not doing this space thing for one second longer. Can you just get out of the way and let me give us what we both need?”

Looking into his eyes, I find the courage to tell him what I couldn’t before.

“Okay. But what if I told you that you’re going to be a father? Would you still stay?”

He freezes. It’s the moment of truth. If he walks away now, what will I do? How can I raise a child on my own?

Luckily, my worries prove to be unnecessary because he crushes me back into his arms. “Jesus freaking Christ. My child?” He releases me, then palms my lower belly as a look of wonder seeps into his face.

I nod, biting my lip. “Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Are you fucking kidding me! Oh, my love, that’s fantastic.” He lifts me up and twirls me around while I giggle like a giddy schoolgirl.

He puts me on my feet again, then growls in my ear, “I have a confession to make, Tess. I’ve had this clip of doing filthy things to you while your belly is swollen with my child on repeat ever since that day you told me to keep my hands to myself while staring at my crotch like a starving vixen. I could never scrub it out of my mind, no matter how much I tried.”

“Oh God, Nathan, I've got one too. I wanted to suck you off so bad that day in your office. I want to now, actually.”

Nathan grins and shakes his head at me. "Of course you do, my smart, sexy, dirty girl." He looks around. “I’m sure we can arrange that, can’t we?”

While I love the sound of that, I don’t want Isa, or God forbid Maddy, to walk in on us. “Not here.”

He groans, dropping his head into my shoulder. Then, as if something has suddenly occurred to him, he picks his head up to shoot me a sensual smile. “So let’s go home, then.”

“Now?”

“Right now! You can come back for your things later.”

“Well, if you insist.” I rear my head back and give a haughty sniff.

He rumbles in laughter. “And what about the rest of my demands?”

I know he means me being his wife. “Don’t you want to be in a relationship first? See how it goes before taking the plunge?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t want a trial run, Tess. I know exactly what I want. You can have a long engagement, though, if you prefer that.”

Nathan has always let me set the pace. Well, except in bed, and apparently, he’s had enough of that.

There are still a few things we need to discuss, however. “And what about my final semester?”

Tilting his head to the side, he looks confused, like he can’t see the problem. “What about it? You can go to Boston as my fiancée. Look, we’re doing this. I can’t fucking think or eat or sleep without knowing for sure that you’re mine. I might end up getting kicked out of the Fount for gross ineptitude if you don’t put me out of my misery now.”

I shoot him a teasing smile. “Oh, no, we can’t have that, now can we?”

“I knew you’d see my point.”

He leans his forehead against mine. While we continue gazing into each other’s eyes, somehow, it feels more intimate, like a revealing of souls. It warms me to no end and triggers a buzzing in my core.

“I love you, Tessa Blackwell. More than anything. Stop fucking around and marry me already.”

It feels like a dream, one I don’t want to wake up from. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I nod and say, “You may call me Theresa King.”

His grin is blinding. “Christ, that sounds incredible.”

“I know.”

“I can’t wait to be deep inside you just like this, where there’s nothing else between us except for what we feel.”

Tingles run throughout my whole body, and I groan while picturing it. “You’re making it really hard to wait until we get home, Nathan.”

“Literally,” he agrees, grinding his pelvis against mine.