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Chapter Fourteen

Tessa

Stay calm, Tessa. Just stay calm. Don’t cry.

I repeat those words over and over again for the next two hours, enduring the party because I can’t bail on the rest of the planning team and because it’ll be rude if I don’t wait until Ninth Life finishes so I can thank Chris and the rest of the band again.

After Nathan left, I needed a few minutes to compose myself enough to face everyone with a brave smile. Now, my face hurts with the effort it’s taking to keep it there.

And my heart just aches with guilt and regret. Because tonight proved to me that I’ve done an incredibly stupid thing and fallen in love with Nathan King, the one man who I have no business falling for. A man who must find the idea of love so repugnant.

I can’t imagine how much he must hate my mom. Or me. And how much of our relationship might be due to him wanting revenge on my parents for what they did to his brother.

Although he didn’t admit it, I don’t see how he couldn’t hate me. If someone did that to my twin sister, I’d loathe their guts. I’d wish them dead. If their daughter fell in love with me, I’d take my revenge and break her heart, too.

Ciaran might have been the one who had his heart stomped on, but it was Nathan who lived to suffer the pain.

“Girl, you’re a miracle worker.” Diane comes and throws an arm over my shoulder. “I can’t believe Chris Dean and I are actually in the same room! Like, breathing the same air!”

I chuckle, shaking my head at her dramatics. “It’s the Chris effect.”

“He’s so sexy. I almost had to shove a patient out of the way to get a selfie with him. He was all smoldering heat and crackling testosterone. That selfie is totally going into my spank bank.”

I push her away playfully. “Geez. Diane, don’t make me nauseous.”

She turns to me, remembering why I don’t share her ardor. “And you actually know him! He’s practically like your big brother. What’s he like as a person, Tessa?”

I shrug. “He’s great, I suppose. Very protective—”

She swoons. “Could he be any more perfect?”

“—and he’s a wonderful father.” I feel as though that last part needs to be spelt out before Diane gets any more ideas besides using that selfie later tonight.

“Father? He’s married?” She looks back to where the band is now packing up, and Chris is signing a few more autographs and taking selfies with patients.

“I’m afraid so, Diane. He just keeps his private life away from the media, but yes, he is married. Happily so, might I add.”

“And that, Tessa, is the sound of my heart breaking.”

I chuckle in spite of my dark mood. “You’ll get over it, babe.”

“But seriously, this was one awesome party. Maybe we can suggest that they do the same for the kids. I mean, if Dr. King can bring other kids over to the Fount just so they aren’t lonely, I’m sure he will agree to throw a party for them.”

My stupid heart lurches at the sound of his name. I want him so badly, and I hate the way we left things. I’m scared of him not feeling the same way, and pushing him away is an easier pain to deal with. At least then it’s self-inflicted.

“True,” I agree, “we should include that as part of our recommendations next month.”

“Or you could just ask him, girl. That’ll make things happen quicker. You know he’ll do anything you ask of him.” She winks and cocks her head.

I whirl to face her. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Tessa, the man is in love with you,” she says as if it’s the most obvious fact in the world, and I’m an idiot for not knowing it.

“He most definitely isn’t—”

“Jackson swears it,” she states, like that should settle the matter. “He knew the only way to get Dr. King to attend tonight’s event was to get you on the planning committee. And boy, did he attend, looking like sex on a stick. I swear, we had to sweep our collective jaws off the floor.”

“There’s nothing going on between us,” I argue, but even to me, my protest sounds weak.

“Well, there should be. Marta says she’s not known him to be interested in anyone in the ten years she’s been working here. Check it, Tessa: he’s hot as fuck, loaded, and he likes you. I’d totally do him. And he looks like he’d be great in the sack.”

I close my eyes against the unbidden memories of that night.

He is unbelievable in the sack.

I busy myself with stacking up unused cups on a nearby table in a bid to hide my reddening face from Diane. “I’m not throwing away everything I’ve built for a fling with the boss, thank you very much.”

“But that’s the best part, Tessa, he’s technically not your boss. He’s purchasing our services, if you will.” She shoots me a smug look, proud of herself for dismantling another one of my arguments.

“Our client, then. It’s the same thing.” Itching to end the conversation that is threatening to erode my resolve, I find Diane something else to do.

“Diane, why don’t you go check on Tim and see how much information he gathered from respondents for KidStation?”

She grumbles goodnaturedly about our chat not being over yet, but she makes a beeline for the KidStation stand at the far corner of the room.

Chris finishes talking to the last fan/patient, then he comes over to me.

I give him a quick hug. “Chris, thanks again for doing this, it means a lot to our patients. Everyone had an amazing time.”

We’d offered to pay, but the band decided to do this gig for free, claiming that giving back to people who need a little light in their lives is payment enough.

“Of course. Anytime. But this is a great idea, you know. If Max ever tries this in his hospital, his patients might break their legs just to be able to attend.”

I chuckle, but something occurs to me. “Wait a minute. Max, as in Montaigne?” I wonder if he’s talking about his friend, the trauma and orthopedic surgeon.

“Oh, yeah. Max is back in LA to set up his hospital, even though he’s still with the Pacific Coast Center until he’s ready for the big move. Majority of his patients are bungee jumping, skydiving daredevils, and they’d love something like this party. Hell, they might even kick us off stage and do their own gig!”

I stop listening to the rest after he confirms that the guy who has returned to LA is none other than Max Montaigne.

All I can think of is Isa, my best friend and Chris’s baby sister, who Max got pregnant before leaving LA a few years ago. Chris has no clue, and neither does Max.

Shit.

Isa’s probably having a meltdown right now.

“When did he return, Chris?” I interrupt.

“About a month ago, but I’ve not seen much of him, to be honest. He's that busy. Anyway, Tessa, we need to take off, okay? Does Isa know that you invited the band here?”

“No, everything happened really fast, so I didn’t get a chance to speak to her yet.”

He nods in understanding. “So, I won’t say anything to her then.”

“Okay, Chris, thanks. I’ll call her myself tomorrow,” I promise.

“Awesome. She’s been so busy with exams— you know how she is with those— but she'll be delighted to hear from you, Tessa.” He gives me a hug, then turns to leave.

“By the way,” Chris says and suddenly turns back, as if just remembering something. “Nathan King?”

I tense, expecting a brotherly warning to stay away from Nathan. “Yeah?”

I already know the man is a walking commitment phobe with baggage the size of the Grand Canyon, so Chris’s warning isn’t really necessary. “What about him?”

“Go easy on the guy. He’s a proud one but… he’s crazy about you.”

I blink in rapid succession, betraying my surprise. “Excuse me? You figured that out in the two seconds you interacted with him?”

“It was written all over his face. And as a man who has also been in Crazytown for the past four years since I laid eyes on Milly, it takes one to know one. Do you want me to check him out for you?”

I almost laugh. There’s nothing to “check.”

I’m the one with the insane family dynamic. My father may or may not be indicted in my mother’s death, and my mother may have also been responsible for Nathan’s brother’s death.

It doesn't check out more than that.

“No, it’s all good. It’s fine. He’s just…”

…a friend.

I stop what I’m about to say. Nathan has never been a friend. He’s always been so much more to me.

“He’s what?” Chris prompts when I trail off.

“Nothing. I… ah, sort of like him a little bit, that’s all.”

Chris’s dramatic gasp of mock surprise is enough to make me want to smack him. “You don’t say?”

He laughs when I playfully shove him. “Okay! Fine, I more than like him. It’s just that he doesn’t do relationships,” I admit dejectedly.

Chris shakes his head like he feels bad for Nathan. “Oh, that’s what he thinks. What he doesn’t have is a chance against a determined Tessa.”

I chuckle. “You know, Chris, I’m actually surprised by how agreeable you are about him. I was worried that you were going to punch his lights out when he put his arm around me earlier.”

Chris played the overprotective brother role to a tee back when Isa and I were freshmen at UCLA, and I thought that would have carried over when he saw a man my father’s age put the moves on me.

“Did you see the size of him? I’m not messing with that!” Chris chuckles.

“Oh, come on, you say that like he’s a mammoth or something. He’s just about six three or four, same as you.”

“No, I’m kidding. But seriously, you’re a big girl now, Tessa. I trust you know what’s good for you. Besides, I have eyes. No matter what the man thinks about commitment, he likes you a lot. You should give him a chance.”

I wonder if Chris would be this understanding about Isa, although something tells me that he wouldn’t extend her the same courtesy. I’ve never met Max, but both Isa and Chris have talked about how big of a manwhore he is.

“I don’t know if I have room for a relationship right now, to be honest. I’m all about my finals.” I should be, anyway.

“Su-ure,” he drags it out into about five syllables, smirking in that annoying way big brothers have perfected. I only shake my head.

“Anyway, it was great seeing you again, Tessa. Now, I know how you can let yourself get sucked into work, but don’t you dare leave for Boston without spending time with your LA family first.”

“Of course not, I promise!”

Especially not now that I know that Isa’s epic squeeze is back in town.

We should have caught up earlier, but finding time between KidStation and Isa’s upcoming competency exams has been hard.

After Chris leaves, the planning committee gets to work putting the hall back to its original state. After we’re done, I join the carpool that drops Tim, Diane, and me off at the Fount staff quarters.

In less than two minutes of getting into the house, I hear pounding on my front door.

Nathan?

My heart races with excitement as I sprint to the door and throw it open.

I’m speechless with shock with what, or rather who, I see standing there.