Page 56

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

A renewed sense of urgency pulses through our group. I cast a worried glance from side to side, but the forest is quiet and still around us. Dread curls in my stomach. There is no telling how close the other teams are to the portal.

“We’ve lost too much time,” Draven declares. Authority rolls off his broad shoulders as he meets each of our gazes in turn. “We’re going back to our original plan. We split up and move in teams of two.”

“If you fly, those guys in bronze armor will spot you and shoot you out of the sky,” Galen points out.

“So we stick to the ground for now.” He cuts a glare up at the thick canopy.

“I can’t even get to the sky from here.” Tilting his head back down, he meets our gazes again.

“But we need to split up to cover more ground. It doesn’t matter how far away the rest of us are, as long as one of us makes it through the portal, we’ll all be transported back. ”

He’s right, of course, so no one voices any objections.

Draven nods. “Move fast.”

And with that, he turns and jerks his chin at me.

We take off through the trees.

Footsteps thud against the ground behind us as Lyra and Alistair dart away in another direction while Isera and Galen pick a third path and do the same.

Stressful tension courses through my veins like liquid lightning.

We need to make it to the portal first. Goddess above, we can’t get stuck here.

Draven and Lyra and Galen would never see the rest of their clan again.

Isera would never get her revenge. I would never get my revenge.

I would never be able to free the Seelie Court and show them all that they were wrong about me.

I would never be able to find out the truth about my parents.

Everything I have worked for, everything I desperately want for myself, would be lost.

My pulse thunders in my ears as I sprint through the forest next to Draven.

After weeks of Jocasta’s grueling training, I’m in better shape now than I was during the Atonement Trials. But I’m still not a soldier. My breath rasps through my throat as Draven and I hurtle through the woods. I focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

We need to get out of this thick part of the forest. We might not be able to fly straight to the center, but we need to get to an area where we can at least fly up through the canopy so that we can check which direction the center is in. That time we spent lost in a daze messed up everything.

Patches of the sky at last start to become visible between the foliage.

Hope surges inside me. Now, we just need to?—

“Down!” Draven yells.

Not hesitating a second, I dive forward and throw myself on the ground right before a blast of water crashes through the air above me.

Pain pulses through me as my hip connects with a twisted root, but I roll aside as a lightning bolt cracks into the ground right next to me.

Water sloshes as the blast hits the trees to my right.

Battle cries split the forest.

I shoot to my feet right as a mass of Unseelie fae in white fighting leathers pours out through the trees and crashes into us like a flood.

Draven sends a storm wind slamming into them, throwing three of them back.

Lightning splits the air as one of the remaining players shoots a white bolt straight at Draven’s chest. It forces him to throw himself sideways, which gives the leader of the White Faction time to reach him.

Steel rings between the trees as Draven yanks out his massive sword right before the guy can slam his own blade into his side.

The third person still on her feet, which is the blond woman who spoke before we ambushed them earlier, shoots another blast of water magic at me right before she leaps at me. I duck and twist, narrowly evading the water, but that makes it impossible to evade her .

She crashes into me, sending us both sprawling on the ground.

Air escapes my lungs as she lands on top of me.

I gasp in a breath and yank out my dagger from my thigh holster.

Somewhere above, the other three members that Draven blew away with his wind rush out from the trees again. Lightning crackles and wind howls and steel clashes as Draven fights furiously to take down his two opponents before they can become five.

Steel glints above me.

I yank my head to the side right before Blondie can slam her knife down into my eye.

It hits the ground with a thud and sinks into the grass right next to my cheek.

“You ruined him!” she snarls at me, and yanks the blade back out of the ground.

I ram my dagger towards her side. She throws herself sideways, evading the strike but also taking her weight off me. Scrambling to my feet, I yank my dagger up again to block hers as she thrusts it at my ribs.

“Oleander was mine !” she growls, her eyes feral as she jabs the knife at me again. “And he was perfect! He was strong and dominant and ruthless.” Shoving my blade aside, she swipes at my throat. “And now, he’s a trembling mess!”

I throw myself backwards, evading the swipe to my throat.

She launches herself after me, fury crackling across her entire face as she rams her blade at my chest. I yank up my own dagger to block it.

With a flick of my wrist, I shove her knife away and slam my fist towards her jaw.

But she’s moving too fast. Too frantic. Too angry.

“He was perfect!” she screams at me. “And you ruined him! You ruined everything!”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.

They strike at something deep. Something that throws me off guard. Because they are so eerily similar to my mother’s words. My mother’s parting words before I left the Seelie Court. We loved each other. And you broke us. You ruined us. You ruined everything.

My stomach turns and my chest tightens.

Because regardless of whether it happened because I created emotions of hatred in my parents’ chests or if they simply started resenting me of their own free will, she is right.

I did ruin them. No matter what the answer to that new question is, the fact remains that I ruined their lives with my magic.

Pain slices through my skin.

I suck in a hiss and yank my head back. Fumbling, I try desperately to pull my focus back to the present. Blood slides down my skin from a shallow cut across my cheek. I was so thrown by Blondie’s words that I’ve barely been paying attention to her knife.

Slamming my fist into her wrist, I manage to shove her hand away before she can land another hit.

Those awful words still echo inside my skull. You ruined everything . Pain still rips at my heart. I can’t breathe. Goddess above, I can’t breathe.

So I turn to rage instead.

Lifting that massive lid inside me ever so slightly, I breathe in some of the burning rage and searing hatred in there until that fire fills my soul and smothers the pain. I summon my magic.

“I ruined him for you?” I snarl at her, blocking her next strike. “Well, let me do the same to you then. Then you can be ruined and perfect together again.”

Fear flickers in her eyes for a moment.

And I know, deep down, that I could have latched on to that already existing spark. But I don’t. Because I crave more.

Summoning a separate bone white flame of fear, I shove it into her chest.

She gasps.

And pleasure floods my body. Pleasure and power .

Holding her gaze, I stare into her yellow and red eyes as I increase that flame of fear. And I drink in the sight as terror floods those previously so angry eyes of hers. I breathe in. Deeply. Pleasure and utter satisfaction thrum inside my entire soul as I keep watching that fear grow in her eyes.

It’s intoxicating. For someone like me, someone who has never had any power, not even over my own life, the feeling of having this kind of complete and utter power over someone else is so intoxicating that it’s making me delirious.

I hold her life in my hands. Her mind, her very soul, is mine to shape as I wish.

That knowledge, combined with the addictive pleasure that comes from creating emotions out of nothing, sets my whole soul aflame with ravenous hunger.

More. More. More.

I want more .

Cutting off my connection to the blond woman before me, I turn towards the rest of the White Faction. Blondie crumples to the ground, shaking hard and throwing her arms over her head to protect herself. Whimpers spill from her lips as she cowers on the ground at my feet.

I ignore her.

My gaze flits across the forest ahead. Two people are lying dead on the ground a short distance to my right. Wind and rain and lightning crackles between the twisted trees, making the purple moss snap in the harsh wind, as Draven fights the remaining three. One of them is Oleander.

The Unseelie fae shoots a cluster of shadows at Draven. They snake through the air, aiming for Draven’s forearm while he is busy parrying a thrust from someone else.

Fury pulses through me.

Summoning another bone white flame of fear, I slam it into his chest right next to the first one.

Pleasure floods my soul again, and a soft moan slips from my lips. Oh Goddess. More .

Across the grass, Oleander’s shadows evaporate before they can trap Draven’s arm. Instead, the fae man reaches up and grabs at the leathers above his heart while choking noises come from his throat. Then his eyes roll back in his head and he collapses on the ground. My magic is cut off abruptly.

I study him. His chest doesn’t rise and fall. Either he died of a heart attack caused by too much fear, or he died because it’s not possible to shove two identical emotions into someone’s chest. Regardless, I can’t bring myself to care.

Because I want more. I want to feel that sparkling warm pleasure again.

Turning my gaze to the next Unseelie fae, I summon another flame of fear and shove it into her chest. She gasps, dropping her sword and staggering backwards.

Pleasure floods me again. Like a sparkling warm hug. Like the softest of clouds. Like a summer wave rolling over my body. Closing my eyes, I draw in a deep breath, relishing in the feeling.

The pleasure is abruptly cut off. I snap my eyes open again. Blinking, I find that Draven has run his sword through the woman’s chest, killing her before I could bathe in more of the pleasure.

Grinding my teeth, I focus back on Blondie instead, since no one can kill her before I’m done. Steel clashes and lightning cracks as Draven focuses on his final opponent.

On the ground before my feet, Blondie is still trembling with her arms over her head.

“Look at me,” I snap at her. “I want to see your eyes.”

Still shaking, she lifts her head to stare up at me. Fear pulses across her face.

“Please,” she begs.

I summon my magic and reach towards that flame of fear in her chest again. Then I start to increase it. But no pleasure follows this time. Anger rips at my chest. I want to feel it. But apparently, it only happens when I first create the emotion, before I disengage it.

Decreasing her fear slightly again, I instead summon another emotion. Panic. The harsh yellow flame of panic burns in my mind’s eye. I shove it into Blondie’s chest.

Pleasure floods my soul again.

She screams. Scrambling back across the ground, she tries to get away. I stalk after her.

“Please,” she presses out again. “Please, I’m begging you.”

Power washes over me. Oh Goddess, I could get drunk on that power alone. Because I am her goddess now. Her life is mine. I am finally in control. I finally have the power.

I create another emotion. Uncertainty. It floods her features, mixing with the fear and the panic already there, as I shove that beige flame of uncertainty into her chest.

Pleasure once more lights up my soul.

I do it again. And again. And again.

Shock and anger and jealousy and impatience.

I shove them into her chest one after the other.

Each time, I’m rewarded by that incredible sense of pleasure.

It’s so all-consuming that I can barely breathe without it.

There is nothing else around us. No forest. No ground.

Just me and the woman who is now entirely at my mercy.

Summoning a burning black flame of despair, I slam it right into her already crowded chest.

She cries, tears rolling down her cheeks as she begs on her knees before me. “Please. I submit. I surrender. Please. I’m begging you.”

Power and pleasure thrum inside me like a storm.

I shove a violet flame of pain into her chest, and she screams. A moan slips from my lips as I drink in the sensation. More. More. More?—

“Selena!”

Strong arms wrap around my chest and wrench me away.

The world snaps back into focus around me as I lose the grip on my magic when I’m yanked away from the desperate woman before me. I stumble as my feet meet the ground once more. Blinking, I try to locate the woman again. But instead, a pair of worried golden eyes lock on me.

“Hey,” Draven says, his voice filled with worry as well. His bloodstained hands cup my cheeks gently while he looks me up and down with those searching eyes of his. “Are you okay?”

For a few moments, my mind can’t process what is happening. All I can do is to stare back at him in stunned silence. My heart beats so loudly in my chest that I can barely hear anything, and my mind spins.

But then, another sound starts making its way through the pounding of my heart.

Screams. Pleas. Desperate begging. Sobbing. Crying. More screaming.

“Please. Mercy. Please, I’m begging you.”

Reality hits me like a slap.

Yanking my face out of Draven’s hands, I whirl around towards Blondie. The woman is still on the ground. Her body shakes violently and her eyes are wide and utterly unhinged. She yanks at her hair and slams her hands against the ground in between bursts of crying and screaming and pleading.

I stare at her, horrified.

Draven seems to be able to feel that horror through the mate bond, because he quickly steps over and slits the woman’s throat, putting her out of her misery.

I drag in an unsteady breath. Nausea turns in my stomach and horror crawls up my throat as I stare at the now dead woman before me. My head rings as if someone has hit a gigantic bell inside it.

What the hell did I just do?