Page 6 of Conveniently Theirs (Viva Las… Oh, Sh!t)

six

Josh

M y lover always has the best ideas. An afternoon at the spa is what I need to distract me from my impending marriage.

Reclining on the bench in the sauna I close my eyes.

Impending marriage. That doesn’t make it sound like a good thing, like something I’m looking forward to.

The situation is crazy odd. My emotions are right up there in the outrageous department.

Why did I ever think this would be a good idea.

I lean forward to rest my elbows on my thighs and cradle my head in my palms. Marrying Kendall is a good idea in so many ways but I should have approached her differently. Explained the situation rather than outright proposing. Yet even with those fumbles, this feels right.

Keni and me.

And Devin. There is no Keni and me without him.

Thank god he didn’t make me choose. I’m not sure I could make that decision.

I’ve loved Keni since high school. Devin since I met him in college.

Back then I had a difficult time accepting how much I wanted Keni.

I was gay. Not straight. I hadn’t discovered I didn’t have to be exclusively one or the other.

Labels suck. And the people who do the labeling, or make you label yourself? Suck even more.

Even now it’s difficult to say I’m bi. Not in general, but to the person who needs to hear it the most. Fear lodges in my chest. How is she going to react?

My worst fear? That she’ll hate me and believe I’ve lied to her all these years.

That she won’t give me a chance to love her as more than just my friend. As an equal partner.

Like Devin.

Devin. Something’s bothering him, too. I grimace and give a soft snort. At least he’s always known he’s bi. We’ve discussed our wants, our needs, our desires. A couple years ago we seriously started talking about the possibility of having a woman join our relationship.

I’ve always wanted Keni. He knows that. But he’s never said exactly what he wants in a female partner. He’s open about everything else in his life, I don’t understand why he’s closed me out of this possibility.

Now Keni will be a fake permanent part of our lives. For a while anyway. How is he going to deal with this? Hell, how am I going to deal? I don’t even know if she’ll believe me when I tell he how I’ve felt. Fuck, how did life get so damned complicated?

Thanks, Uncle Harold. You really started something. I only hope fulfilling your wishes doesn’t totally screw up the lives of two of the people I love most in this world.

Ending my downward spiral, an attendant knocks on the sauna door to indicate it’s time for my massage. This is one form of pampering I never skimp on and today’s massage will be both Swedish followed by hot stones. I find the stones particularly relaxing. I need all the help I can get today.

My body is possibly over-relaxed as I make my way back to our suite.

According to Devin’s time table, Keni should be arriving for her spa time shortly.

I’ll meet her outside the spa later for our pre-wedding supper date.

Devin’s taken care of all the logistics with his usual flair and competence. Even giving me time for a nap.

Even though my body is relaxed, my mind won’t shut off, so I pour two…

okay three fingers of bourbon into a glass and settle on the couch, staring out the window.

There’s no answers in the distant mountains so I sip my drink and focus on building the courage and determination I need to face the rest of the day.

And the questions I know are coming from the woman I love.

“Babe?”

I wake to Devin’s fingers caressing my cheek and his upside down face peering at me from where he stands behind the couch. “It’s time to get ready.”

“Is it?” Pressing my cheek against the warmth of his palm, I sigh. “Am I doing the right thing, hon? Getting Kendall involved in what could turn out to be a huge clusterfuck? I don’t want her to get hurt.”

He circles the couch and sits next to me, lifting the nearly empty bottle. “All this? You are worried.”

The tip of my tongue touches the smoky remnants of the expensive bourbon lingering on my lips.

Devin’s eyes follow the slow swipe before he leans forward to kiss me.

I’m always amazed at how much he conveys with just the press of his lips.

A tiny tremor tells me he’s concerned as well, the firmer glide before he eases away is supportive, a vote of confidence.

“I believe,” he drawls slowly, a hint of his southern accent slipping out. “Everything is going to work out fine. And if it’s too much for Keni, or for you, since there’s no legalities binding you together, walking away is always a possibility.”

“Not what I’m worried about. She’s always been true to her word so she’s in this crazy situation for the long run. What I don’t have a clue about is how she’s going to react when she discovers my hidden feelings for her.”

Devin’s expression dims. Maybe I need to worry more about him and his place in this situation.

I take his hand. “Hon? I don’t want to hurt you either.

This, what I’m doing today is going to change our relationship, too.

We’ve talked about how a woman could… Am I being selfish by bringing Keni deeper into our lives?

Shit. Have I ever even asked how your friendship with her might change? ”

He remains silent with his lips pressed together and I frown. The rare moments when he doesn’t have something to say are poignant and full of importance. This time is doubly important because he’s not being open about something. “It’s about Keni, isn’t it? What’s your concern?”

He scrubs his hands over his face. “I’m just tired, babe. No worries.”

This time I’m not going to call him out on the lie. “If you say so.”

His grin is bright but the emotion doesn’t reach his dull eyes. “I do. Now, it really is time for you to get ready. We’re meeting Keni at the spa, then I’m sending the two of you off to dinner.”

“You should come with us.” The support of his presence would go a long way to keep my nerves in check. And healthier than the last of the bourbon I’m eyeing.

“We talked about this, babe. It’s better if there’s no indication I’m involved in any way.” After a quick kiss, he rises. “On your feet Joshua. It’s your wedding day.”

Once I’m dressed in my favorite suit, he disappears, returning a minute later with a tie and pocket square. “These match Keni’s dress.”

“You got her in a dress? You really are a miracle worker.”

He blows on his nails then rubs them against his chest. “You know it. Wait, not that way.” He slaps my hands away from the tie and fusses until he’s satisfied and stands back. After a long, appraising look, he nods. “You’ll do.”

“I’ll do?” I grab his shirt front and pull him close enough to kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Josh.” He untangles his shirt from my fingers. His laugh is honest and the last of the dark despair is gone from his expression. “So not normal to say that right before getting married to someone else.”

“Maybe it should be.”

“Maybe it should. Ready?”

Whether I am or not doesn’t matter. The plan’s been set in motion.

Devin entwines our fingers together during the elevator ride to the spa level. It feels almost like a last, desperate attempt to hold on to something that’s rapidly changing. That’s exactly what’s happening.

Releasing my hand, he leads me from the elevator, not slowing until we reach the spa. He half turns toward me and holds up one palm. “Wait here.”

He disappears through the fancy, wooden double doors and a wave of trepidation shudders through me.

What I’m planning for tonight could really encourage both of the people I love to walk away.

I can’t screw this up. Can’t cause emotional pain to either Devin or Keni.

My emotions are plummeting when the spa doors open and…

My mouth drops open. I can’t tear my eyes from the vision before me. Keni hesitates, her fingers fluttering as she smooths her skirt. Finally, with Devin’s encouragement, she walks toward me.

“God, Kendall, you’re beautiful.”

Her cheeks turn pinker under her barely noticeable makeup and she stops, spreading her arms and looking down at herself. “It is a nice dress.”

Grabbing her hands, I keep her arms spread wide.

The low, scooped neckline of her dress—she’s wearing a dress—shows off the lush swell of her breasts.

Below the enticing view, the silky material flows over her body, the full skirt falling in soft, vertical waves to half way between her knees and ankles.

Flat, strappy sandals match the main color of the cloud-like dress. “Keni, you’re always beautiful.”

She gives a soft snort. “Not like this.”

“You’d be beautiful wearing anything, darlin’. Or nothing at all.”

Her eyes go wide and I realize what I’ve said but before I can backtrack and apologize, Devin joins us.

He hands me an envelope. “Your reservation at Elissi is in half an hour. I had a hell of a time getting it, so for once, don’t be late.

Then the license and the chapel address are in here.

The officiant is expecting you at nine, although that time can depend on any other wedding parties that may or may not show up. The valet is fetching the car.”

“Are you sure?—”

“No, I am not going with you. You’ll both be fine. Everything is arranged. Have an expensive meal, then go get fake married. We’ll… talk… in the morning.”

Keni kisses his cheek. “Thank you, Devin. I could never look this good without your help. Without you.”

He sketches a short bow. “My pleasure.”

I’m unwilling to leave him alone, despite his assurances. “What are you going to do?”

He pats his back pocket. “I’ve got a ticket to a show.”

“Aww,” Keni whines. “I want to go to a show, too. In that dome thingie.”

Nodding, Devin takes our arms and moves us toward the exit. “Tomorrow, or the next day we’ll go. Oh, look. There’s the car.”

He waits until we’re settled in the vehicle then leans in Keni’s open window. “Have fun, you two.” He backs away, gives a quick wave and disappears into a crowd of arriving hotel guests .

I put the car in gear and, cautious of the milling crowd, inch forward.

Keni rests her hand over mine on the gearshift. “So we’re really going to do this?”

“We’re really going to do this.”