Page 26 of Colt (The Bull Riders #2)

Chapter Twelve

Allison

When I wake up in the morning, I’m completely tangled around Colt.

It doesn’t take me even a second to remember where I am or who I’m with.

My body is raw and wrung out. I think we had sex four times after we got out of the shower.

It doesn’t even seem possible. That’s a total of six times in one day.

Granted, there were about ten hours between the first two times, but the others…

He’s incredible. And every single time he gave me orgasms that just about sent me into space.

It’s still dark outside, I’m not sure what time it is. I peer over his broad shoulder at the clock on the nightstand. Not quite six. Then I kiss him on the shoulder, and roll out of bed. I need some coffee. Yesterday was just so… nice. I’m not sure I really thought we could have anything that nice.

Even in my wildest sex dreams, I suppose I always thought that if he and I hooked up, it would still be that same snarky, snippy, thing we always have.

But yesterday was something deeper. Of course, I don’t know how you can do all those things to someone else’s body and not feel closer to them.

It’s either that or not be able to look them in the eye.

And his eyes are too pretty for me to never be able to look at them again.

So, accepting that we’re mutually sexually destructive and filthy is our only option, really.

I’m not sure if I like it. It would be more comfortable if we were just what we were. If sex didn’t change anything. I’ve had plenty of non-transformative sex. Of course with him it would be different. I should have known.

Right now, though, it’s just us. There is no one else involved in this. It’s just us.

And maybe it doesn’t matter that it’s changing things, because we are in this little cocoon. I feel guilty thinking of his injury as protective in some ways. But it is. It gives us this buffer. This time.

He wakes up, rolls over to me, and pulls me into his arms. And wakes me up the same way he put me to sleep.

And that’s how things are. For a couple of weeks.

Just the two of us running on orgasms and lack of sleep.

Sitting together on the couch, me wearing my hoodie and curled up in his lap.

Him curled up in mine. I’ve watched more baseball than I ever care to see again.

We find reasons not to go to our parents’ house for dinner together.

He goes once without me, and I go without him.

Gentry and Lily drive him, though, the truth is he could probably drive himself at this point.

I’ve spent every night at his house, and I have some conflicting feelings about that. About whether or not I should be doing it. Whether or not we should be this careless. But we are.

We’ve burned through so many condoms that I had to get more.

I absolutely did a grocery order just for that.

I didn’t want to go in person to get them, which is funny, because I wouldn’t normally think that much about it.

But knowing who I’m using them with… Yeah.

That is the issue. At least, I’m worried that people will somehow magically see through my brain and get visions of who it is I’m sleeping with. Can’t have that.

No. I can’t have that.

This is fake, and I know it. But there’s been some very real stuff in the middle of it all.

We’ve talked more than we ever have. Even though he’s been my stepbrother for about ten years, he’s never been my friend.

He was always Gentry’s friend. There was a very clear line between Colt and me.

Now, that line really isn’t there. I haven’t told him everything.

Like how intense my crush on him was, or why I went and lost my virginity when I was sixteen, to escape the gagging desire that I felt for him.

I don’t know that there’s any reason to debase myself.

But we shared a lot of things. Him not having his dad, and me not having my mom affected us. Still affects us. And the way my dad, his mom, have healed parts of us by being the best stepparents imaginable.

He’s a lot more mobile on his crutches than he was a month ago.

It’s not even comparable. It makes me wonder if he really will surprise everybody.

If he really will heal better than anybody thought.

If I were in a different place with him emotionally, I think that would annoy me.

That somehow Colt Campbell was managing to dodge the serious repercussions of his injury.

Of course, I could never really be annoyed about that. I don’t want him hurt.

I also don’t really want to leave again.

But he will. So will I. Fall term, I’ll be out of here. He’ll be doing well enough that he might even be off his crutches.

“I have the day off,” I say that morning as I make coffee. “I was kind of wondering if you wanted to go to Medicine Lake?”

“Oh. Why Medicine Lake?”

“Because it’s a long drive on a winding road and it’s a Tuesday, so probably nobody will be there?”

In my opinion, it’s one of the most beautiful lakes in the area, but it’s not as popular as some of the larger lakes, you aren’t allowed to have motor craft on it, and it’s about ten miles of gravel, then a hike down to the water.

But it’s clear, pristine and lovely, and I would really like the chance to be alone with him again, but somewhere not in the house.

Because the truth is, he’s getting well enough to start doing things in town, and he should. Because the truth is, we can’t hide forever.

It’s going to be strange when we have to include other people in our lives, but it’s going to happen. Hell, it even needs to happen.

But until then, I just want to enjoy this.

“Yeah. That sounds good. I can’t swim in the lake, though.”

“I know. But we can just look at it.”

“I am antsy to get out of the house.”

“Do you think you might enjoy… I don’t know, going to the saloon?”

The last time we talked about him going out and about in town on his crutches, he was pretty leery.

But this time, he nods slowly. “Yeah. I think I might like that. Maybe we can go out with Dallas and Sarah, that would be fun.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of us says that it sort of seems like a double date.

But I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing I am.

Of course, nobody would ever think that, because we are…

Well, as far as the town is concerned, we are related.

As far as I’m concerned, we are definitely not.

By marriage, I suppose, but not in the way that makes this more than taboo.

“We can invite Gentry and Lily,” he says.

Oh right. So he did think the same thing.

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

I decide to prepare a picnic for today’s trek, and he goes to take a shower.

It’s so domestic. And it’s funny that I would even think that, because he and I lived together back all that time ago and we weren’t anything like domestic.

And now little bits of everyday routine are part of us.

It makes me happy, and in a way that I’m a little bit afraid to admit.

Makes me happy in a way that makes me uncomfortable, honestly.

That’s a problem for the future. It’s definitely not something that we need to worry about now.

I don’t think about any of those problems. Not while we drive out to the lake.

It’s a beautiful day. We go in his truck because that’s the best for gravel, and I’m pleased when we don’t see another car on the road leading up to the water.

We’re rewarded by there being no one there.

This is just so perfect. Idyllic.

Romantic. There is building friendship between us, there’s sex, but romance…

I don’t really know where that line begins to blur, I guess. We sit together, he holds on to me on the couch. He holds my hand.

As I look around the beautiful spot, the surface of the lake glistening in the sunshine like diamonds, the tall green pines swaying gently, the velvet grass dotted with pink flowers. Birds chirping.

Oh God. This is romantic .

As we walk together to the plush grass just above the lake shore, I find myself completely frozen by that realization. That I’m taking him on a date. It’s that I’m advancing this beyond sex and companionship to something more. Or maybe I’m not. Maybe this is a normal sort of thing. Maybe.

Maybe this is just part of me helping him heal. Yeah. I do have a strong instinct toward that. It’s my vocation, after all.

I look at him, at his profile, his strong jaw.

I have a sudden realization that I really wish I weren’t having.

He’s healing something in me. Because there’s some kind of profound joy in this.

A real sort of attachment that I’ve never felt before.

I’ve certainly never had feelings for a man on this scale before. I’ve never let myself.

He was this distant object of desire. I’ve had a thing for him for a long time. A very long time.

And there was something about that that kept me safe. When it was a theory. And then I kept myself even safer by making him my enemy. I kept all my intense feelings bottled up, and found boys my own age who didn’t challenge me, who didn’t like me on fire.

Being with him, it’s reaching for the sun. For an object that might scald me. For something that I never wanted to let myself have. Being with him is incredible.

He’s so far beyond any fantasy I ever dared to have.

We sit down in the grass, and I set the basket out. I brought a small blanket, not for us to sit on, but to put the Tupperware on, because the idea of putting it straight on the grass just feels a little bit too close to nature for me.

Ants can stay well away from my picnic.