Page 5

Gemma

“I owe you an apology.”

Kerry and I walked hand in hand out of the cafeteria. Now that he was fed, I figured he’d be stable enough to hear what I had to say. Food always put him in a good mood.

“For what?” he wanted to know.

“I got you into trouble. Again.” I heaved a heavy sigh. “Because of me, you got into a fight. My fight.”

“Aw, angel, you know I never mind a fight.” He grinned that lopsided grin that always kicked my lungs into high gear. “I ain’t torn up over it.”

“It could have caused the Council to kick you out of the Sanctuary, though, and that would have torn me up.”

“No way am I gonna screw up enough to get kicked out. I promise.” He drew an x over his heart, a gesture I’d taught him last fall. “I let him go, didn’t I? If he hadn’t turned on you, I wouldn’t have hit him again. I coulda walked away.”

I knew what he said was true. I’d seen with my own eyes how he’d dropped Cole to the ground all on his own, with only Hank coaching him to do so.

“Well, I’m still sorry I dragged you into my problems. And,” I drew in a deep breath, “I should have told you what I was going to do. I don’t like keeping secrets from you, and I feel ashamed for going behind your back.”

“I understand why you did.” He took my shoulders in his hands. “I know how I woulda reacted if you’d told me you planned to protest the F-Fers’ rally. And it’s not because I don’t trust you. It’s because I don’t trust them .”

“I had to do it.” I wanted him to understand, but it was hard to put into words. “I have so many weaknesses that I have to do what I can, where I can, to make up for them.”

“What do you mean, so many weaknesses?”

“Oh, come on.” I rolled my eyes. “Unlike you, I’m nothing but weaknesses.”

He surprised me by letting out a deep belly laugh.

“Are you crazy? I’m the one who’s nothing but weaknesses. I can hardly read or write. I can only do basic math before it gets embarrassing. I can’t always control my temper. I have no idea how to be a friend. I’m violent and loud and aggressive.” He shook his head. “You’re not weak. I think the real problem is you’re jealous that I’m a warrior.”

“ What?”

“You’re a fighter, which makes you want to use your power like a warrior. It frustrates you because you think you’re ‘just’ a healer.”

“I know some self-defense, but I don’t think I’d call myself a fighter.”

“You drained yourself to save me, you stood up for Lilas Tyne over that shrouder, you faced Reilly Argaud during the trial, and the list goes on.” He cupped my cheeks in his palms and his eyes were soft. “You don’t have to be a warrior to be a fighter.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but that doesn’t make me any less of a weakness for you. I hate being your Achilles heel.”

“What’s that?”

“An Achilles heel? It’s from an old Greek myth. It means your ultimate point of vulnerability.”

“And that’s what you think you are?”

“That’s what I know I am. People can use me to get to you.”

“That’s true of anyone who cares about somebody else. If someone snatched Gigi, you don’t think Jax would do whatever they wanted to get her back? It’s the risk anyone takes when they decide to open themselves up to others.”

“But—” I lowered my eyes to his jacket zipper.

“But what?” He put a knuckle under my chin and raised my face. “What’s really bothering you, angel?

“Am I—” I hesitated, then let it all out in a rush. “Am I worth that risk for you?”

He stood frozen for a second, then pulled me into a hug.

“Angel,” he breathed in my ear, “there ain’t nobody on this planet as worth the risk as you are. Like you once told me, if there is a price for being with you, I’ll pay it and have no regrets.”

His words calmed the flutter of panic that had been living in my chest lately, but the worry in my mind didn’t ease at all.

I did not doubt his sincerity, but he epitomized the type of high-stakes power that unscrupulous people tried to harness and control for their own ends, and I was the chain they could use to enslave him.

I will protect you, my sweet boy. Even if it’s from myself. I squeezed him in a hard hug that made the air huff out of him. Even if it breaks my heart.

“Gemma, you know I can see straight through you, right?” He grabbed my upper arms and moved me back enough to look into my eyes. “Don’t get any crazy ideas to sabotage what we’re building together because you think it will protect me.”

“But when we go out into the Real World on a mission, I’ll be your vulnerable spot—”

“I will kill anything that tries to hurt you or take you away from me.” He bent down so that we were nose to nose, and his smooth blue eyes were dead serious. “And breaking up with me wouldn’t work because it won’t change how I feel about you. You could tell me to get outta your life tomorrow, take off for Argentina, and spend the next two hundred years cursing my name - and I’d still come running the second you called me.”

I blinked.

“Oh.”

“See? Even if we weren’t together, an enemy could still use you against me. In fact, if I was you, I’d be more worried about them using me to get to you .” He stood up straight and dropped his hands. “You’re as powerful as I am, Gemma, and I know a lotta bad men who’d do anything to me if it meant they could pull your strings.”

“Yeah, but you can get out of those situations.” I shook my head. “You have the strength and the know-how to escape if someone tries to capture you.” “And you don’t?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re a level 10, too, you know. You can knock them out. Put ’em to sleep for a hundred years. Look, if it’s bothering you this much, we’ll find some solutions. We’ll have to get creative because you ain’t always gonna be able to touch your opponent.”

“Creative? My warden told me he put healing in a bottle of bubbles to help you last fall. Do you mean that kind of creative?”

“Yeah. And remember how you once zapped Argaud with a bolt of pure power? We could practice that. See how far you can zap it.” He smiled. “I’ll help you, okay? We’ll work on it together.”

He was right. I could protect myself and others. I just needed to think about it creatively, and he could get pretty creative when it came to using power.

And hurting people.

I brushed that thought away.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Do you have any ideas off the top of your head?”

“Not really. Sleep splat bombs, maybe. I dunno. Something that gets your power into a projectile.”

As we started walking again, my imagination fired up. I was deep into designing a coma grenade when he reached over and linked his pinkie finger with mine.

“Gemma?” “Hmm?”

“If you ever do wanna get rid of me, straight up tell me and I’ll understand. Just promise me it won’t be for some bull reason like trying to protect me, okay?”

I looked up at his battle-scarred face, then let my eyes drift to his wide shoulders and down the line of his arms. Under his coat, I knew his biceps were the sizes of baseballs and his pecs were hard as rock.

And don’t even get me started on the boy’s washboard abs.

I certainly appreciated every drool-worthy muscle, but that was the least of what made him strong. Me wanting to protect him was like an ant trying to protect a hurricane - impossible and totally pointless.

“I promise,” I gave him an impish smile. “Besides, I have no interest in breaking up with you. A boy asked me out just this morning and I told him no. You know why? Because you are the only one I want to be with. I want to be with you forever.”

“Forever?” The raw hope in his eyes killed me.

“Forever.”

He looked at the ground and his lips stretched into a full-fledged smile.

“Wow. With a response like that, I guess I do bring something worthwhile to this relationship,” I teased.

Of course, he took me seriously.

“Worthwhile?” He stopped walking. “You help me keep control. Just being near you soothes the monster inside me. You bring me peace, angel. That’s something I haven’t had in a really long time.”

Taking my hand, he held it against his heart.

“There’s so much more, but it’s harder for me to explain. You’re fun and funny and almost always cheerful. Even after I piss you off or make you cry by being stupid, you understand and are so endlessly patient with me. You have this deep determination and you know what’s right. You’re also brave, although I think that might give me heart failure in the future.”

I laughed, unsurprised that he didn’t. He hadn’t been joking, and I knew that, but it was still funny.

“So, um.” His eyes skated away from mine. “Do I bring anything worthwhile?”

“Of course you do. I wouldn’t be with you if you didn’t.”

He wore the lost little boy look that always made my throat tighten into a painful knot.

“You make me feel as if I’m something more than a scared girl out of her element in a world she knows next to nothing about. You respect me, you care about me, and you trust me. All the dates and gifts and romance in the world can’t compare to that. At least, not to me.”

With a gentle smile, he raised my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

“I’m never gonna stop trying to become the man you need me to be.”

“Mine. That’s the only kind I need. Just mine.” I smiled up at him. “My one and only.”

“Just like you’re mine. My one and only.”

One of his hands cradled the back of my head against his chest, and I laid my cheek on my spot.

“This guy who asked you out. He wasn’t a problem for you, was he?”

“No, he was more interested in Gigi. He only asked me after she turned him down.” I frowned. “I don’t think anything will come out of it, but— Look, don’t get mad, okay? When you get mad, I can’t tell you things.”

“I won’t get mad.”

“Well, he got kind of aggressive, and I got a little aggressive back. He didn’t seem like the type to turn into a threat like Reilly or Cole or Noah, but I wanted to tell you about it in case I’m wrong.”

Kerry’s lean body turned to steel against me, and a growl vibrated his chest under my cheek.

I closed my eyes. I didn’t have enough energy left to deal with his anger.

“Did he touch you?” He sounded like he was clenching his teeth.

“No, but he pulled Gigi’s hair. It upset her, so when he didn’t take the hint, I made him let her go. Then I told him I was dating you and that he didn’t want to tick you off.” I huffed out a little laugh. “He almost tripped in his hurry to leave.”

“Tell me his name.”

“Don’t. Please? I handled it. Like I said, I don’t think he’ll be a problem for me or Gigi.”

“His name.”

“Really, Goofy, he didn’t do anything to me . Gigi has more to complain about than I do—”

“Jax’ll take care of that, then.” His muscles relaxed again, which allowed me to relax. “I’m glad you stood up for yourself and Gigi, and I know you can take care of yourself in a physical fight. We’ve sparred together enough in the dojo to convince me of that, although I don’t like how you think the fight’s over just because your opponent’s down.”

“I—”

“We warriors are hardwired to protect, you know, and I wanna protect you most of all. I won’t smother you or try to hold you back or down, but your safety is my top priority. And not only physically. Your mental and emotional wellbeing are just as important to me.”

I tilted my head back and gazed up at him with wonder.

“How did I get so lucky to find you?” The words came out in a husky rasp. “If my bus hadn’t broken down on the way back from a school trip, I never would have been walking down that street after midnight. It was a one in a million chance. It had to be Divine intervention.”

“Nah, I don’t think so, angel. Nothing Divine would intervene for a possessed neph.”

He was dead serious, and I had to swallow a giggle.

He’s so darn literal sometimes!

“Here you two are again, all snuggly buggly and blocking the sidewalk.” Jax suddenly appeared next to us.

Kerry narrowed his eyes at him.

“Did you look me and Gemma up on that friend tracker app and come here so you could mess with us?”

“No, I did not,” Jax declared, throwing both hands into the air. “Well, the mess with you part, yes, but I didn’t need the app to find you.”

“Did you make Gigi ’port you here?”

“No, I did not. I walked. I just dropped her off at work and was headed over to your place to see if you wanted to hang out.”

“ Work?! ” I screeched. “I’m late! Sorry, I need to go!”

I took off at a run, but stopped after a few feet, turned, and blew Kerry a kiss. Jax acted like he was going to intercept it, but Kerry wrapped him in a headlock. With his free hand, my boy pretended to grab my kiss and held his fist against his heart, and nothing could erase my ear-to-ear grin for the rest of the night.