Page 27

27. Joined-Up Letters

Rome

Mira was still sleeping, and I was grateful Kerry had automatically pocketed the keys last night so we didn’t have to wake her up. The girl looked like she could use the rest, and Gigi had agreed to stay and watch over her and John while Travis continued to research.

Before we left, Kerry told Gigi what information she could share with Mira, and I made sure she was clear on what she couldn’t. Then we took Mira’s car and followed the desk clerk’s directions to the superstore.

As we walked toward the entrance, I noticed Kerry seemed nervous or upset. I wondered if I should ask or let it come out on its own. Deciding to wait, I snagged a cart from the corral and headed for the grocery side.

“Uh, here.” Kerry’s face was red as he thrust a paper at me. “The girls’ list. Don’t know why Gigi gave it to me .”

Taking it, I scanned the paper and raised my eyebrows.

Bras and panties and tampons. No wonder he’s embarrassed. Really, Gigi? But then again, I suppose Mira only has the clothes on her back. Literally.

“Do you have the list Travis made? You can take a cart and get that, and I’ll get the girls’ stuff.”

“I have it.” He waved another piece of paper. “But we’ll stay together.”

“That will take us twice as long,” I started to argue, then noticed his skin had taken on a blue glitter.

Uh-oh. I’m missing something here. Let’s get it out in the open.

“What’s wrong?”

His jaw clamped shut for a moment and he crunched Travis’ list in his fist. Then he took a deep breath and met my eyes.

“I can’t read the kind of writing Gigi uses, and I’m not sure about some of these longer words on Travis’ list.”

“The kind of writing Gigi uses,” I repeated, feeling lost.

“You know, joined-up letters.” He gritted his teeth.

The light bulb finally went off. Clem had said Kerry was still learning to read and write, but I’d forgotten. Now I felt like I’d shamed the kid.

“No worries.” I shrugged, trying to make it seem like no big deal. “At least the shopping gives us something to do.”

“Yeah. Anything’s better than sitting around and waiting.”

At first, everything went smoothly with only one minor hiccup. Kerry insisted on peanut butter crackers, but the shelf was empty. Seeing a meltdown coming, I asked an employee to check their stock. Fortunately, the young woman - Yvonne, according to her name tag - brought out two big boxes, which placated him.

Then we started on Gigi’s list and stopped in our tracks.

“Who knew there were so many types of bras?” I grumped.

My ribs were reminding me they were broken, so I balled up my coat and shoved it between my side and the cart handle, then leaned over it.

Ahh! Better.

“What did Gigi write?” Kerry asked.

“Full cup, 36D. That’s all. Cotton, lace, and I don’t even know what that fabric is. Satin? Nylon? Do you think the fabric matters?”

“You’re asking me?” He shot me an incredulous look.

“Well, what do Gemma’s look like?”

Before I could blink, he was in my face with a fierce snarl.

“Shut your mouth!” Blue sparks snapped off him. “How dare you think I would know?”

“What’s your problem?”

Anybody else I would have pushed back. Hard. But his temper would skyrocket if I did and we were in public, surrounded by humans. I bit back my own aggression and tried to reason with him.

“The day we met,” I said through my teeth, “you carried her off over your shoulder and kissed the sense out of her. And your boots were outside her tent every morning. Of course I thought you two were—”

“Don’t think it!” he snarled. “Yeah, I slept in her tent, but we had separate sleeping bags! And that was only our third kiss!”

I took a step back and was a little surprised when he didn’t follow because he looked like he wanted to throw down right there, right then.

“I was not suggesting something … inappropriate.” I held up one hand. “I wasn’t trying to insult her or you. I only thought we could use the information as a guide. But, as you are as ignorant as I am on this subject, go find Yvonne again, okay?”

Kerry glared at me for another few seconds, then took off.

Jeez! Touchy, touchy. Then again, anything about Gemma upsets him right now.

I shook my head. I couldn’t imagine having it that bad for a girl.

When Kerry came back with Yvonne, I found she was more than willing to help, although I quickly regretted asking for her in particular. She started shooting me interested glances and moved closer and closer. I tried to be polite, but, when she laid one hand on my arm and winked up at me, I resorted to lying.

“My girlfriend lost everything in a house fire.” I gave her a false smile. “I want to surprise her with some of the necessities.”

Yvonne left before we hit the underwear aisle, which was both good and bad. Good because I didn’t like her draped all over me and bad because I didn’t know any more about buying girls’ undies than I did bras.

Glad we got to bras first, though. I hate to think what would have happened if I’d asked him about Gemma’s panties. We probably would have demolished half the store.

I grabbed two packs of boylegs in Mira’s size and threw them in the cart. They seemed like her style. I caught my brain imaging those long legs sliding into them and mentally slapped myself upside the head.

Knock it off . You don’t have any right to think of her like that.

I turned the cart toward the pharmacy section. I was not looking forward to picking out tampons, but at least Gigi had been very clear on those, right down to the brand-name. I tossed a box in the cart, then paused. Although it wasn’t on the list, I grabbed a package of PMS relief, too.

Kerry looked at the package with a frown, and I could tell he was trying to read it.

“Is this word relief?” He put a thumb under it. When I nodded, he pointed at the list of ingredients. “Are these words English?”

“Chemical names made up from Latin words,” was the best I could explain. “It’s, uh, medicine to help with cramps and stuff when a girl has her period.”

“Oh, man, get her two boxes.” He laid the package in the cart with reverent care. “No girl should have to suffer through her period without this. Maybe she wants some chocolate, too.”

I laughed at his honest reaction, then had to assure him I wasn’t laughing at him. I was still smiling as we swung through the snack aisle before heading to the checkout lanes.

I was surprised to realize I liked hanging out with him, and not because he was a would-be comedian like Spin or a good conversationalist like Chance. Kerry didn’t hide anything or feel the need to filter. You always knew where you stood with him. He made sure of that.

Especially if you piss him off.

On the return trip to the hotel, I leaned back and closed my eyes. The constant drain of power to control the pain was taxing, and I’d just started to drift off when Kerry called my name.

“Yeah?” I didn’t bother to open my eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about how things probably looked from your view,” he said. “You jumped to a conclusion that made sense.”

“Are we talking about bras?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I got mad.”

“Hmm.” I nodded off, but jerked awake when he scolded me.

“Warden says, when someone apologizes, you’re supposed to say thank you, whether you accept it or not.”

“Oh. Thank you. I accept.”

“We haven’t had sex.”

“We haven’t?”

What can I say? My brain was muddled by pain and fatigue.

“Not us , idiot!” he snarled. “Me and her! We just kissed for the first time a few days ago.”

“It’s good to take things slow in a relationship,” I yawned.

“Don’t have much choice because I’m not sure I can get naked with someone. Not even her.”

“For crying out loud!” I grumbled, cranky now. “Can’t you talk with Jax about this?”

“He’s not here and you are.”

I didn’t want to have this conversation, but I was a captive audience, so to speak. I might as well contribute my two cents, but, as I opened my mouth, he started talking again.

“I wasn’t looking to talk about it anyway. I just wanted to explain why I got mad. I don’t like you thinking she puts out when she’s almost as innocent as the day she was born. I mean, even her first kiss was with me.”

How could someone like him feel so strongly about protecting a girl’s reputation? In today’s society, no one seemed to have any morals, sexual or otherwise, and virtue was an old-fashioned concept. How could Kerry, who’d lived a decade in darkness, treasure innocence?

Because it was such a rare thing in his world . And , insight hit me hard, she’s giving him all her firsts. I wonder if she knows what that does to a guy?

No wonder Kerry was so protective of every little thing about her.

“Is it your nudity issue holding you back?” I asked, curious despite myself.

“Mostly, but there’s something else, too. If, for some insane reason, she’d ever want to get naked with me , she’d be giving me something I can’t give back. How do I balance that? I ain’t got any kind of innocence left to give her in return.”

“Dude.” I opened my eyes and stared at his profile. “You continually amaze me.”

“You don’t have to be a prick about it!”

“I’m serious, not mocking you.” I closed my eyes again. “Most guys only want to score and move on to the next girl. Then there’s you, tainted and tortured, who wants to cherish Gemma. I think that’s amazing.”

“Cherish.” He seemed to taste the word. “I like that. Yeah, you cherish the one you love.”

“Do you have experience with that?”

“Sex, yes. Cherishing, no. Nothing even close.”

My eyebrows flew up.

“You say ‘sex’ like it’s disgusting.”

“When you’re forced into it with no choice about who it’s with, it is disgusting,” he growled. “That’s why I can’t stand being touched.”

My eyes flew open.

“Kerry—”

“Demons ain’t too much about consent. I never wanna have sex again. I do wanna try to cherish her, though.”

How much this kid has suffered!

“Kerry, you’re a victim of every kind of abuse. You need to talk to a counselor or something, someone who can actually help you. Not me .”

“I talk to Warden and Jax a lot.” He nosed the car into the motel parking lot. “My friend, Chessie Catt, helps me sometimes. And my angel knows everything. It seemed right to tell her.”

“Is she aware of your scars?”

“I told you she came to heal me after the exorcism, when the wardens had me stripped down to my boxers. And she healed the worst of the scarring on my back and I’ve taken my shirt off like a dozen times for her to fix one thing or another. She said—”

He stopped talking and his knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel.

“What did she say?” I asked.

“My choices are all that matter. That’s all I’m responsible for, not stuff I was forced to do.”

He glanced at me, his eyes pained and questioning, as if he wanted me to confirm that.

“She’s right,” I told him. “Why would a slave be responsible for the actions of his master? Likewise, why would a slave allow his master to continue to control him after he was freed?”

“Hmm.” He put the car in park, then dropped his head. “I guess it may not even matter anymore. We were taking it one day at a time. I dunno what’ll happen when I get her back. She may not want me in her life anymore.”

“I doubt that.” One side of my mouth went up. “Very much. She probably wants to get back to you as much as you want to find her.”

“Maybe.” He turned his face to look out the window. “Still, I wouldn’t blame her for kicking me to the curb. I’ve always known I’m too broken for someone like her.”

“That’s why you two work so well together as a couple,” I disagreed. “She’s a healer. Repairing the broken is what she does.”

Surprise flared in his eyes, and I nodded.

More food for thought.

When he reached up to switch off the ignition and pull the key, I caught sight of a jagged white scar on his wrist. A wave of shame hit me right as he looked over.

“You look sick.” He sighed. “I understand. I don’t want pity, and it’s okay if you don’t wanna be my fr—”

“No, you don’t understand,” I interrupted. “I’m sickened by what you went through and for how long. And because I used to think— Look, I didn’t know you then, and over at the college, all we heard were rumors. I was proud because only a warrior could be so strong to endure that for a decade and be able to survive the exorcism. I never once thought about what you were forced to endure, and now it sickens me that I could think that.”

“Aw, don’t worry about that crap.” He waved a hand in dismissal. “But, uh, not everybody needs to know what we were talking about.”

“I won’t tell your secrets. And I’m glad we’re getting to know each other. I want to be friends.”

“Are you being sentimental?” He tilted his head and stared at me with earnest eyes.

“Maybe a little.” I smiled and got out of the car.

He popped the trunk and gathered bags that he carried to the girls’ room. I followed and sank down on a bed to watch them sort the provisions from Mira’s new gear. My eyes barely slitted open, I assessed Mira and was satisfied to see she looked refreshed.

I’m jealous . I feel like I could sleep for a week.

“Boylegs?” She held up a package.

“Rome picked them.” Kerry dug into his precious crackers.

When she looked at me curiously, I shrugged.

“They looked comfortable,” I said.

“They’re my favs. I was surprised that you guessed.” She smiled. “Thanks.”

“You better appreciate the bras, too, because they almost cost Rome his life,” Kerry said through a mouthful of peanut butter.

“Do I want to know?” Gigi pursed her lips with amusement and quirked an eyebrow.

I was not sharing that conversation. It would only make me sound like a perv.

“No, you do not.” I gave her a warning frown.

“But if they’re wrong,” he went on, “don’t blame us. We got a girl employee to pick them out, because we didn’t have a clue.”

The girls giggled, and I rolled my eyes.

“I thought about getting you some different shoes, but you seem pretty attached to those rockstar boots.” He pointed at them. “And I didn’t know your size.”

“I love my boots!” She grinned.

“Like I said.”

Then they found the bag stuffed with chocolate. Kerry hadn’t stinted. He’d picked out a variety of bars and tossed them in the cart.

“Kerry, do you want these in your snack bag, or with the group supplies?” Gigi looked at Mira and, in a mock whisper, said, “He’s always hungry. And if he doesn’t get fed, he gets cranky. And, trust me, nobody wants a cranky Kerry.”

“Sorry.” To my surprise, he hung his head. “I know it’s an issue. I’m working on it. Honest.”

Talk about an uphill battle. And he never complains. He just keeps on trudging. One baby step at a time.

“Oh, Kerry.” Gigi laid her fingertips on the back of one of his fists. “I was only joking. You go ahead and eat as much as you need to. And we all get cranky from time to time.”

He unclenched the fist she’d touched and flipped his hand to catch her fingers, which surprised me even more. Kerry Harker was not a toucher, and now I knew why. I wondered if some of the kid’s issues might also stem from knowing his own strength and fearing he’d accidentally hurt someone.

Nah. That’s me projecting my own fears onto him .

I’d been two inches shy of seven feet tall since I was eighteen, and every year I packed on a little more muscle without even trying. Horsing around with my buddies or playing with the dogs back home, I’d always had to be careful not to use even half my strength.

Then there were girls. Kissing one a foot and a half shorter presented enough of a challenge, but it was the fragility that frightened me off most of the time. They were just so … small .

I glanced at Mira. She was the tallest, sturdiest girl I’d ever met. Not that I would ever dream of calling her sturdy to her face. She’d drop-kick my heinie into the next room and be justified in doing it.

Still, I’d only have to bend my head to kiss her. And her lips certainly look kissably soft.

“Yeah,” Kerry’s gloomy voice brought me out of my thoughts, “but you don’t set dorm rooms on fire when you run out of popcorn in the middle of a movie.”

I had to hold back a chuckle at the look on his face. I wished I could have been around to see more of his acclimation to high school life. Those early days must have provided endless entertainment, and I could only imagine the conversations he and Gemma had.

“True,” Gigi said. “But I also wasn’t starved to a skeleton over the course of ten years.”

His eyes went wide with panic, and it took me a minute to understand that he was unsure if she was making fun of him, insulting him, or simply stating facts.

“And you’re a growing boy.” Mira stacked the candy into neat piles. “I bet you shot up a few inches recently. You look all stretched out and lanky, like you’re still growing into those wide shoulders.”

“Is that… Is that bad?” he asked.

“Of course not. It’s part of the natural process.” “He grew four inches between December and January,” Gigi told us, then turned to Kerry. “You need your nourishment, but why did you get so much chocolate?”

“That stuff’s not for me.” He dropped her hand and frowned. “Period minus chocolate equals mean girl. Period plus chocolate equals happy girl. And I want you to be happy girls, especially you, Tennessee. You’re mean when you’re mean.”

Gigi and Mira looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

“What did I say?” He looked at me with perplexed eyes.

When I shrugged my shoulders, he copied me and apparently decided to let it go.

“Mira, did Gigi tell you I was possessed for ten years?” He put it right out there. “And Travis was enthralled for a few months last year.”

“Uh, yeah. She caught me up to speed on everything.” Mira seemed uncomfortable. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Kerry shrugged one shoulder, and I thought I’d better change the subject.

“Has anyone checked on John lately?”

Gigi said he had thrown up again, but managed to keep down some ginger ale before falling asleep. I heard the worry in her voice, but I knew as much as she did about concussions. She said Travis had looked it up on the web and suggested we dose him with more pain relievers when he woke up again, then let him sleep if he wanted.

“Oh, hey, I just remembered. I found Maddy’s bow, but it was broken,” Kerry said. “I put it in her case anyway. I couldn’t find Spin’s, though. Should we get them new ones?”

“Spin’s has returning on it.” Now I know why he was so adamant about that when he’d picked out his bow. “If you look, it’s back in its case. I guess we should get Maddy one, though. The more cover fire, the better.”

“Can’t she generate a bow?” Gigi bit her lip. “Like Kerry does his sword?”

“Yeah, but that drains a lot of power,” I explained. “Only warriors can manifest weapons or armor without it becoming a power suck. If I pull up blades that way, they stay with no effort from me until I dismiss them. If Spin manifests a bow, he has to fight to hold on to it, spending power the whole time. It can be done, but it’s a worst-case scenario move. Which might happen regardless, I suppose.”

“Let me see the bow.” Mira looked up. “Maybe I can fix it, depending on what it’s made of and if my toolbox is still in the trunk.”

“It’s there. I’ll fetch it for you,” Kerry volunteered, “and get Maddy’s case.”

My phone chirped with a new message and I pulled it out. Seeing who it was from, I dragged my tired, aching self up, and followed Kerry out to the parking lot.

“Good news.” I called out as he popped the trunk. “Clem’s finally left his woman alone long enough to get back to me. He says Castle is a warrior-class nephilim, which we already guessed, but Hubler’s a human. Mira is who she says she is. The Council of Wardens was aware of her situation, but didn’t have the time or manpower to track her down and free her. Which, translated, means she wasn’t high on the list of their priorities.”

“Typical.” He snorted. “Well, I like her.”

“We don’t know her story. Don’t trust her too much.”

“I didn’t say I trusted her.” He hefted up the metal toolbox. “She’s got grit, though, and that’s what I like. Still, one of us needs to get her alone and ask some hard questions.”

“I’ll do it.” I finished typing a thank you to Clem, then pocketed my phone.

“Be nice about it. She’s dealing with a lot. For a long time after you’re freed, you feel fragile. I’m surprised she hasn’t cried yet.”

“She isn’t the type to break down in tears,” I disagreed.

“Yeah. She’s sure not like my little crybaby.”

He must have caught himself off guard. His shoulders tightened and his jaw clenched as he looked off into the distance.

I sighed. I would have cuffed the back of Spin’s head or slung an arm around Chance’s shoulders, but I knew if I tried either with Kerry, I’d get hurt. And I hurt enough as it was.

“We’ll get her back, buddy. We’ll get all of them back.”

He turned cold eyes to me.

“Or die trying.” He held out his fist, and I raised my eyebrows, wary, but the unscarred side of his mouth curled up. “It’s okay. I’ve done this a few times with John and Travis.”

“Not Jax?”

“Jax tries to hug me. You know, that one-armed guy hug. I haven’t killed him yet, but let’s not risk it.”

Grinning, I bumped my knuckles against his.