Page 7

CHAPTER 6

MAHK

S weat dripped down my temple, and not only from the excursion. My pulse beat rapidly, heart racing in my chest so fast it hurt. My hands shook and it was hard to breathe. Panic. This was what panic felt like.

It wasn’t an emotion I was used to. Why would it be? I was comfortable with who I was. I didn’t hide normally. My brothers were the only people left alive whom I cared about what they thought of me, and they knew exactly who and what I was. I never feared losing them.

Now, as Tanner sat down on the muddy ground, watching me with apprehension, I understood why some people experienced panic attacks and anxiety. I could lose everything before I ever truly had it, and I wasn’t sure I’d survive that.

I stared hopelessly at Tanner, hoping he’d give me a hint on where to start. He seemed surprisingly calm, and despite looking a little wary, I didn’t think he was scared of me necessarily. But would that change once he understood everything?

I fell to my knees in front of him, ignoring the rock that was jabbing into me.

Tanner raised an eyebrow, waiting. “I don’t know where to begin,” I told him helplessly.

My mate sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture I knew well. I hated that I was adding to his stress. It had already been a rough day for him. All I’d wanted to do was get rid of Koth so I could watch Tanner and make sure he was okay. Not this. Never this.

“I guess start with whatever that is.” He gestured toward the tarp.

“It’s a body,” I responded helpfully.

Tanner snorted. “Yeah, I got that. Why is he green?”

Oh, right. Um . . . how should I approach this? Did I lie? I had done some research on the humans’ knowledge of orcs since I’d been here. The Google held a world of information. They thought we were mythical creatures, but there was plenty of lore there. Most recently, orcs had seemed to gain popularity from Lord of the Rings , which was a book but more popularly several movies. I watched them at the Cunningham’s house. They were very engrossing even if the portrayal of orcs was inaccurate.

There was also a thing called cosplay. That looked so interesting! Some of the costumes I’d seen on the Google were so good. Could I pretend that Koth was in costume?

I immediately dismissed the thought. Tanner was my mate. He deserved the truth. Not only because I hated lying to him, but also because there was no chance of me going home until he accepted me. That would not happen if I lied.

“He’s an orc.”

Tanner blinked. I blinked back. It seemed like he was trying to process, so I stayed quiet and waited for questions.

“An orc?” he finally asked, disbelief in his voice.

“Yes. He was using a spelled ring to appear as a human, but I removed it before killing him so he could die in this true form.” Not that the knave deserved the honor.

“Okay . . . sure. This all makes sense.” Something about his tone made me think he meant the exact opposite.

“I could show you?” I tried to keep my tone hopeful. Please don’t hate me.

“The dead body? Hard pass. I—fuck. I can’t believe any of this is happening. How about you start from the beginning instead?”

That was fine. He wasn’t running. So I had to take that as a good sign. He was my mate. He’d understand, right?

I shifted so I was sitting on my bottom and told my Tanner everything. I explained about my home world, about the barrier between the realms deep in Sumner Cave. I told him about Koth, how he’d tried to kill my brother’s mate and then escaped to this world. I told him how I’d been sent here to find him. The only thing I left out was how I was stuck here and why. I didn’t want to overwhelm Tanner, and this had to be a shock to him. It had to be hard believing this was all a fantasy and learning it was true.

When I was done, I felt exhausted and exposed, but Tanner was still here.

He was quiet for a long time, his eyes focused over my shoulder on Koth’s body. I squirmed. I really wanted to get rid of it already, but I wasn’t sure if it would be the best move when Tanner was still adjusting.

After a while, I couldn’t take it any longer. He was so quiet, and I didn’t know what to do to make it better. “Are you mad at me?” I blurted, hating the thought.

Tanner’s eyes widened like he was surprised by the question, but then his lips tilted up just a little, and I had to return the look because maybe things would be okay.

“I don’t think mad is the right word, Mark. Surprised, overwhelmed, maybe.”

“Mahk.”

He tilted his head. “Huh?”

“My name. It’s Mahk. No r.”

Suddenly, all the anger I’d expected from Tanner earlier rose to the surface. He smacked my shoulder, pretty hard for a human too. “What the fuck, man? Are you saying I’ve been saying your name wrong all this time and you didn’t correct me?”

Butterflies filled my stomach as I lifted a shoulder in response. “I don’t mind you calling me Mark. You can call me anything you want.”

Tanner scowled and climbed to his feet. “Don’t give people that kind of power. It doesn’t matter if it sounds weird to everyone else. You deserve to be called your own name.” Then Tanner laughed, the sound a little crazed. “What the fuck? Why is that what I’m most worried about?” It sounded like he was talking to himself, so I didn’t respond. I stayed where I was, my clothes being ruined by the damp ground, and waited as Tanner got his thoughts together.

There was a lot of mumbling, something about medication and therapy and a lack of sleep, but it wasn’t making much sense to me. I racked my brain, trying to think of how to make it better, but I couldn’t come up with anything.

Finally, Tanner turned to me. “I changed my mind.” Oh no. No. What did he change his mind about? Was he going to make me leave after all. “I want to see it. The body. The orc.”

I stood carefully, making sure I kept my distance from Tanner. “Are you sure? I can show you my true form if you want.” I didn’t want him to get too close to Koth, like even in death he’d taint my Tanner.

Tanner nodded but then shook his head. “No. I mean yes. Yes, I want to see your true form. I think I need to. But I want to see him first. When you show me your true self, I want it to be somewhere better than this. He’s just a stranger. ”

I didn’t understand the logic, but I didn’t have it in me to deny my mate anything, so I walked closer to him and held out my hand, relieved when he took it with only a little hesitance.

Together, we stared down at the body through the tarp. He seemed to be watching it intensely, and I tried to look at it from Tanner’s perspective, wondering what he saw.

“Is this what you look like?”

I shrugged. “More or less. My eyes are purple. I have the same white streak in my hair that I do as a human. He’s taller and wider than I was.”

“That’s, that’s cool. And the fangs?”

I frowned, trying to make out what he was saying. “Our tusks? Yes, I have them.”

“Cool. Cool. That’s fine.”

I felt like Tanner was panicking, but he still didn’t let go of my hand.

“And you said he tried to kill your brother’s mate? A human?”

“Yes. Both my brothers have mates who are human. They came through the same barrier I did actually.”

That seemed to give Tanner pause. “Wait. You said something about Sumner Cave?”

I nodded. “Yes. That is where the barrier is.” Was.

“Shit. Oh fuck. Those stories are true? About people going missing in Sumner Cave?”

“I suppose. Though, the barrier only opens if your mate is on the other side.”

Tanner turned to me, a strange look on his face I could not decipher. “And that’s the only thing happening? Nothing else is making people go missing?”

I pursed my lips, not quite understanding. ”No? I am sure some humans go missing because of wild animals or injuries, but the only way into Belzod is through the barrier’s magic.”

That didn’t seem to be the answer Tanner wanted. “Okay, um, how do I say this without sounding like an asshole?”

“You can say anything, Tanner. I will not be upset.”

“Fuck. Yeah, okay. You aren’t responsible for any of the missing humans, are you? Like, you didn’t kill any of them?”

Oh! That was what he was worried about? That made sense since I’d told him my profession only minutes ago. “Of course not. I have never killed a human, and I will not unless they threaten you or my family. Or, I suppose, your siblings or mother, since that would still hurt you, but since that hasn’t happened yet, I have not killed any humans.”

Tanner looked a little pale. Maybe he should sit down again? Did he need to eat? I hadn’t been there to make sure he’d eaten his evening meal and I read that humans could sometimes go faint when they didn’t eat regularly.

“Have you eaten? Humans’ blood sugar can drop and cause the faintness you’re feeling now if you do not consume nutrients regularly,” I told him matter-of-factly and squeezed his hand. Mainly because I liked the way it felt in mine.

For some reason, this made Tanner laugh. A lot. “Fuck, Mahk. The things you do to me. I should be terrified, but all I want to do is give you a big hug.” That sounded good to me.

“I don’t want you to be scared of me. I would never hurt you.”

Tanner’s expression softened. He lifted his free hand and very hesitantly brought it up to my face. The lightest of touches followed as his fingertips brushed against my cheek. I shivered and leaned in.

“For some reason, I believe you. I’m not scared, Mahk. A little overwhelmed, but not scared.”

I grinned at him, relieved. “Okay. I have so many more questions, but maybe you should take care of this first?” He gestured to the body.

“Sure. It doesn’t bother you that I killed him?”

“Not really. Which I don’t know what the fuck that says about me, but I believe you and everything you said he did. I understand why you killed him. I just— Let’s be done with this part and get out of the fucking woods. We can figure out the rest later.”

That was okay. More than okay, truthfully. I still needed to explain the mates situation, but that could wait. Tanner wasn’t running away. He wasn’t scared, and he seemed to at least want to believe me, even if there was still doubt. My Tanner was so understanding.

Reluctantly, I let go of his hand so I could finally bring Koth to his final resting place. I took one last glance at Tanner as I dragged the body to the edge of the pit. He had his back to me, but he hadn’t run away. He was waiting for me to finish my job. Whistling, I rolled Koth over and over until he finally landed in the pit. I scrambled back so I didn’t become a victim as well and watched as he slowly began sinking under the surface.

“Good riddance, Koth,” I whispered in my native language. I waited till I could no longer see him above the surface before walking back to Tanner. He was facing me now, his back against a tree. He looked a little shaky, but he flashed me a tentative smile as I approached. I gave him my own back. The hard parts were over. Now it was time to convince Tanner he belonged with me. Should be easy, right?