Page 123 of Cilka's Journey

“Good morning,” Cilka greets the receptionist as she heads toward the ward. She has one more day with Alexandr. She doesn’t know yet how she can possibly say goodbye. Will she dare to promise that she will try to find him, many years from now, on the outside? Or should she just accept her fate, her curse?

But though she is losing him, losing Yelena, and though she has lost everyone dear to her, Alexandr has kindled a fire within her.

Not to anger, but to something like hope.

Because she never thought she could fall in love, after all she’s been through. To do so, she thought, would be a miracle. And now she has.

“Cilka,” the receptionist says.

Cilka turns back.

“I’ve been asked to tell you to go to the main administration block, they want to see you.”

Cilka pulls her hand back from the door to the ward.

“Now?”

Alexandr is just inside. She could say good morning, first. No, she’ll get this out of the way and then have the day with him before he is discharged. A day where she can tell him everything, and then never speak of it again.

Entering the administration block, Cilka is confronted by several other prisoners, all men, standing around complaining about why they are here. She reports to the only person looking official, standing behind a desk.

“I’ve been asked to report here,” she says with a confidence she doesn’t feel.

“Name.”

“Cecilia Klein.”

“Number.”

“1-B494.”

The receptionist rifles through several envelopes on her desk. Taking one, she looks at the number printed on it. 1-B494.

“Here, there’s a small sum of money in there and a letter to hand to the guard at the gate on your way out.”

Cilka doesn’t take the offered envelope.

“Take it and get out of here,” the receptionist snaps at her.

“Where am I going?”

“First to Moscow, then to be deported to your home country,” the receptionist says.

Home?

“I am to go to the train station?”

“Yes. Now get out of here. Next.”

The bulb in the ceiling blinks. Another piece of paper. Another moment where her life is decided for her.

“But I can’t just leave. There are people I need to see.”

Alexandr. Will he be released? Released under the dead man’s name. How will she find him?

Her chest aches, feels like it’s collapsing in on itself.

Yelena, Raisa, Lyuba, Elena, Anastasia and Margarethe—if she could get to them… She needs to say goodbye!