Page 59 of Changeling (The Incubus Saga #2)

They gathered in Wade’s room the next morning. The nurse was just giving her a final once over. Wade was already dressed to go home.

Nathan noticed Leven’s pained stare immediately. “Hey, Wade,” he called as the nurse wrote something on her clipboard. She was being very accommodating allowing so many people to mull about.

He caught Wade’s eye when she glanced at him.

“Anyone bring you coffee yet? I’ll make a run.

” He got a couple more grateful orders and then grabbed Leven firmly by the arm.

“Lend a guy a hand, will ya?” he said and promptly dragged Leven after him without giving the kid so much as a breath or chance to argue.

Nathan let Leven go once they were in the hallway, but he didn’t lead them to the coffee machine. They had passed plenty of empty rooms so he led them to one of those instead. Leven didn’t seem to notice. He hardly looked up as they walked and didn’t say a word.

The barely visible bruise that had been on Leven’s chin the other day was large and purple now, but at least none of the knife wounds had stayed.

He walked slow and stiff like he hurt all over but couldn’t bring himself to lie down.

Nathan knew the feeling. He hated that what he was about to do would make everything worse, but it had to be done.

Leven seemed to expect it too, because when the kid finally looked up and saw that they were in an empty room, he just sat on the bed and stared at his hands.

“You know what’s coming?” Nathan asked.

“I…” Leven’s voice choked off. He glanced up at Nathan and then back down again quickly, but it was enough that Nathan saw how much his eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Nathan replied severely but still as kind as he could manage. “What I don’t understand…is why you didn’t just tell us right away that you were the one who summoned that thing.”

Leven’s eyes immediately overflowed with tears.

“What were you trying to do? You couldn’t have wanted that thing to take you over.”

Leven sniffled and sobbed. He didn’t look just shy of eighteen, all hunched, broken, and bruised.

He really was just a kid. “It was just a stupid spell,” Leven managed, still staring down rather than at Nathan.

His turquoise hair was limp and disarrayed—wilted.

“Wade…has all these books and…and there was this really old one, and…and I just thought…it would make things better.”

“Better?” Nathan repeated. “Please tell me you didn’t do this because the kids in your grade are idiots? Because of those bullies ? What did you think was gonna happen?”

“I don’t know!” Leven cried, and when his eyes looked up into Nathan’s again finally, they were red and puffy. “The book didn’t make it sound like it was…what it was. I thought if it made me stronger, if I had the power for a change, then…maybe…”

Nathan must have had on one hell of a disapproving look because Leven curled in on himself and dropped his eyes back to his hands.

“I didn’t know it would hurt anyone. I didn’t even think it had worked.

Nothing happened. After the spell…there was nothing.

When people started dying, I didn’t think it had anything to do with what I’d done.

Even when it kept being people I knew…and liked.

But when I saw Tina…with those eyes…I knew it was my fault.

It was all my fault. I deserved for that thing to take me… ”

“Christ, kid,” Nathan exclaimed, rubbing a hand over his face and up into his hair.

“That thing was gonna gut you out of yourself and wear your body around like a suit, owning it and causing the same kind of mayhem other places. And all because you wanted to be different, or not be different, or whatever. I thought you said no one was gonna change your stripes for you? Did you mean that or were you just blowing smoke?”

For a moment Leven looked defensive, even fierce, but then his eyes filled with fresh tears and he stared imploringly at Nathan. “I didn’t want to not be different,” he said, finally with a little conviction, “I just wanted…for it to not matter anymore.”

Brother mode took over as Nathan sat on the bed, pulling Leven against him in a halfway hug that rested Leven’s head on his shoulder. “What am I gonna do with you, kiddo? For starters…I gotta know you’re never gonna think up something this stupid again.”

“No! I don’t even want to look at Wade’s books or…or touch…any of it. Because of me…Andy and…and everyone …”

“I know, but it’s going to be okay. You can make sure of it by doing things better the next round.

” Simply looking at Leven was enough for Nathan to know that the kid was punishing himself more than enough.

Nathan just couldn’t see any merit to beating him while he was down.

Leven was a good kid. He hadn’t done any of it to hurt others.

Sometimes it just turned out that way.

“You are one of the decent ones…even if you don’t believe it,” Leven said, quiet and breathy as his tears began to still again. A shaky arm slipped around Nathan’s waist and clung. “So…there’s gotta be at least a few good people out there, right?”

Nathan squeezed Leven’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around the kid tightly. “I hope so.”

Goodbyes were being passed around when they finally returned to Wade’s room with the promised coffee.

“You guys are leaving?” Leven asked, still small of voice and unlike the boy they had first met.

“’Fraid so, kid,” Nathan said. “We have, uhh…things to get back to.” Like waiting to see if the contract holder ever showed up, or if they had to think of another plan.

Leven smiled weakly. “Yeah. But…but you’ll come back and visit some time, right?”

“As much as I’m sure Wade would love to get rid of us for good…you bet,” Nathan said, with a wink thrown at the psychic.

“I don’t understand everything that happened,” Wade said, “but you saved my brother. And me. So…thank you.”

When Wade turned to Cam, the gratitude in her eyes was greater for him than it had been for any of them. She embraced the bronze incubus as a much damper sounding “Thank you” left her. Then she pulled away only for Leven to step up and take Cam’s hand.

“I take it you’ll be sticking around here for a while?” Sasha questioned his old friend.

Cam very nearly blushed. “Someone has to keep an eye on these two, I figure. Not that I was actually any real help,” he added under his breath, averting his eyes from the brother and sister now chatting with Jim.

“Hey,” Nathan broke in, since he knew a thing or two about feeling like he was mostly window dressing rather than any real support.

“You think either of them cares if you dealt the killing blow against that sidhe, or made any staggering discoveries to solve this? You were there for them, willing to risk your life for them. And if Wade trusts you, looking at you the way she does…then she has to know something you just can’t see about yourself yet.

Why do you think she gives me such a hard time? ” Nathan smirked.

Sasha elbowed him with a scowl. “Maybe because you keep ignoring what good there is to see about you just as much as Cam does. She’d just rather be sleeping with him .

Which I completely support.” He looked back to Cam with a grin, though Nathan got the joke that he was giving his blessing on the couple as much as he was pleased Nathan and Wade had no unfinished business.

Then Sasha’s smile twitched and he suddenly pulled Cam in for a tight hug.

“I think I missed you most of all, Scarecrow,” he half laughed as he sighed into the embrace.

Cam responded with a similarly choked chuckle.

“Asshole. We’ll see each other again. You just…

got some important business to finish.” He pulled away, though he kept his hands tight on Sasha’s arms a moment.

“Keep us posted, huh? Wade can’t see everything, so we’ll want to know when you beat this thing.

We’ll need to grab some beers to celebrate, right?

” He cast his gaze on Nathan—sad, Nathan thought, but hopeful that they really could overcome his bounty.

As Sasha went over to say his goodbyes to Wade and Leven, Cam turned to Nathan.

Nathan expected the usual supportive words he kept hearing in regards to his mark, but instead the bronze incubus said close and low into his ear, “I wish you the best, Nathan, but if you ever hurt Sasha in any way…you better believe I’ll kill you long before Lindsey does. ”

The unexpected threat made the hairs on Nathan’s neck stand on end. He turned his head slowly and the expression he saw was not the Cam he was used to. Those golden brown eyes glowed.

“I believe you’re the good guys,” Cam said, “but if it turns out I’m wrong and you can’t be trusted… you’re the one who’s gonna pay for it. Not Sasha.”

“Understood. Can’t wait to run into you again,” Nathan said with a growing smirk, and he gripped Cam’s hand firmly in farewell. He couldn’t help feeling more pleased than upset about the threat, because it only made it clearer that Sasha’s old friends still loved him dearly.

After Cam stepped away, Nathan would swear he barely saw the turquoise blue blur coming before Leven was suddenly attached to him.

“Ya know,” Leven said when he finally pulled away, “I was gonna go for a kiss.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Nathan warned, but he felt something tug inside his chest. “Be good, kid. We’ll see you again. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Grier,” Wade said with a punch to Nathan’s arm. Nathan laughed as he turned to her, but he saw the serious threat in her eyes, the worry that he really wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. Nathan couldn’t have that be the last exchange between them.

“Figures a harpy would fall for an incubus,” he said with a wide grin.