Page 45 of Changeling (The Incubus Saga #2)

“How are you feeling? Be honest for once,” Jim asked.

“Pretty good, actually. Definitely better after another long hot shower. What time is it?” Nathan stood up slowly and was pleased when the room didn’t tilt.

“Almost noon. Coffee’ll be done by the time you are.”

Nathan paused before heading to the bathroom, looking back at the still sleeping incubus. There were dark shadows under Sasha’s eyes and a slight frown passed over his face in sleep. His too red hair fell across his face and one hand seemed to be groping out in search of his missing companion.

“What time did he get in?” Nathan asked quietly.

“About six, I think.”

“Damn.” Nathan retreated to the bathroom.

By the time Nathan came back into the main room, he was feeling a whole lot better, and Jim and Sasha were both sitting at the table. They were nursing coffees and there was an uncomfortable silence between them. Nathan got himself a cup and sat down at the table with the others.

“So. Where the hell did you go last night?”

“Nathan,” Jim warned.

Nathan shrugged and kept his green gaze fixed firmly on Sasha.

“I went to the bar to sing.” Sasha reached into his jacket hanging on the chair and pulled out a handful of bills, tossing them on the table.

“Last time I checked, bars don’t close at six in the morning,” Nathan spat. He took the opportunity to really look at Sasha’s face. He looked pale and tired; he still had dark smudges under his eyes.

“What do you want me to say?” Sasha replied quietly. “I finished up at the bar around one, came back here to drop off the car, flew back to that rat hole, beat the crap out of that stupid Pete and his buddies, and came home. Satisfied?” He glared at the brothers, defiant and unrepentant.

“ Jesus ,” Nathan swore. “You don’t think an incubus attacking them might draw a little attention?”

“I wasn’t in my incubus form. I wanted them to know exactly who was kicking their asses and why.”

“You asshole!” Nathan spat.

“I wasn’t going to let them just get away with hurting you!” Sasha raised his voice as well. “I wasn’t going to let them get away with almost—”

“ Don’t !” Nathan shouted, interrupting and slamming his fist on the table.

“Don’t you say it.” His voice lowered almost to a whisper.

He glared at Sasha. “Maybe I don’t have freaky super powers like you two, but I’ve been fighting my own battles for a long time. I don’t want you fighting them for me.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Sasha tried to reason.

“The hell it wasn’t. You told me you’re not my damsel in distress; well, I’m not yours either.” Nathan’s fist hit the table again. He couldn’t bear the thought of them thinking he was weak—even when he was. Especially when he was.

Sasha deflated, no doubt able to feel the pain and confusion beneath Nathan’s anger.

“You can’t do things like this, Sasha,” Jim said.

“Running off and following your own agenda. If we’re going to be a team, we have to act like one.

That means each member knows what the others are doing.

We make decisions together.” He had his earnest professor voice on, but for once, Nathan didn’t object to either the tone or the content of Jim’s speech.

Sasha dropped his head. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make things right.”

“It wasn’t up to you to make it right,” Nathan said quietly.

“It was my fault you got hurt,” Sasha insisted.

“It was my own fault.”

“It was just as much my fault,” Jim interjected.

Sasha and Nathan whipped their heads around to stare at Jim as if he had two heads.

“Seriously. I’ve been watching your back in places like that for long enough to read the signs, Nate. I never should have left you alone there.” Jim’s feelings of guilt were clearly strewn across his face.

Nathan sighed. Not another one .

“And Sasha,” Jim said, “you have to know that beating those guys up doesn’t solve anything. It just gives them more reason to hate people different from them.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Sasha said. “But do you really think people like that ever change? If nothing else, maybe now they’ll think twice about doing that to the next guy.”

They sat in silence. Then the moment was shattered by a loud grumble from Nathan’s stomach.

“What?” He raised his good eyebrow. “It’s after noon!”

Jim chuckled. “Fine. Let me take a shower and then we can get out of here and get something to eat.”

Nathan took the moment of reprieve to gulp down an eager mouthful of coffee.

“Nathan?” Sasha said quietly once Jim had disappeared into the bathroom. “You don’t…think you deserved that beating, do you?”

“What?” Nathan sputtered. “No. Why would I? And why would you even ask that?”

Sasha frowned but didn’t elaborate. Nathan heard the unspoken words anyway.

“Dude,” he said plainly, “that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He grabbed Sasha’s wrist as it reached for his coffee cup. “I’m not ashamed to be with you. Don’t ever think that. It’s just that it’s been so easy up ‘til now…”

Sasha snorted. “Easy? Do you remember how long it took me to get you to admit you even had feelings for me? Do you remember how many times you denied it and back tracked and all out ran away?”

“This was never how I pictured myself,” Nathan admitted quietly.

“What? In a relationship? In love? Happy?”

“Any of it.”

Sasha gaped. “Nathan, you deserve to be happy. We both do.” He reached a hand to Nathan’s face, then gently stroked his cheek with his thumb, carding his fingers back through Nathan’s hair.

Nathan leaned into the caress, and his eyes fluttered shut with a sigh of familiar bliss. “Somehow I don’t think the rest of the world shares your opinion.”

“Fuck them, then,” Sasha said fiercely.

“No thanks. I’ve already had that invitation and turned it down.” Nathan quirked one side of his mouth up into a bitter smile as he opened his eyes. He found Sasha’s expression raw with pain.

“I wish I could have protected you from that forever, Nathan. It’s hard when you realize some people will hate you for what you are and what you can’t change.”

Nathan realized that Sasha was talking about more than just his sexual orientation.

Sasha had had to deal with being an outsider his entire life.

Nathan touched a hand to the one on his face, then reached out to the redhead in turn.

He gently stroked the crimson hair back from Sasha’s face, and it was the incubus’ turn to lean into his touch.

Nathan smiled and drew Sasha to him across the table, gently but firmly kissing him on the lips. “Don’t ever think I regret this, that I’d take it back. And never think for one second that I’m ashamed of you. I mean, who could be? You’re adorable. And baby…I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

“Pretty sure?” Sasha raised an eyebrow.

Nathan grinned, and leaned in to kiss Sasha again. “Eh, you’re wearing me down.”