Page 27 of Cast in Shadow (Drenched in Darkness #1)

27

Emerson rolled to the side and gathered me up in his arms, pulling me tight against him. His chest rose and fell like I’d just given him a solid workout, and despite the shock still riding me, I preened a little.

There was something supremely satisfying about seeing him ruffled.

Moonlight spilled through the windows behind the bed and glinted off the sheen of sweat coating his skin. Without thinking, I ran my tongue up his salty neck.

A groan vibrated his throat. “You are insatiable.”

Not true. I just wanted another taste. That was how it always was with him. Once I gave in to my need, I craved a little more. And a little more. Until my need for him was clawing at me.

So, yeah, maybe he was right. He made me feel out of control, like some untamed version of me was holding all the cards of my life. If he nudged me just right, she would gleefully pitch the deck into the wind and watch with a wicked grin as everything scattered.

In the beginning, that had been a heady feeling. Exhilarating. There was no limit to how much I could feel. There was no drink or drug or magic that could come close to matching that high, and even though I knew I was riding the edge of ruin, I couldn’t have stopped even if I’d wanted to.

In the years since, I’d gone the other way. I learned to bottle everything up and bury it away, only letting enough emotion seep out to keep myself from going crazy. It wasn’t a perfect system by any means, I still lost my temper or broke down in tears in the privacy of my own shower every now and then, but I was still here. Still standing. That was what mattered.

Only now, the tingle of excitement that told me I was on the verge of careening into chaos was back and stronger than ever, and with it came the kind of powerlessness that could cripple me if I let it.

An answering vulnerability echoed through my connection with Emerson.

“Please tell me I’m not making a huge mistake,” I whispered.

Maybe it wasn’t fair to put that on him after the way he’d opened up to me, but I wasn’t sure I could trust my instincts anymore. One second, my brain was telling me to flee while my heart ached for a love I’d never truly escaped. Then, with my very next breath, they traded places.

He pressed his lips to my hair. “Does it matter?”

His earlier words came back to me, only now they felt heavier. A tree doesn’t choose the shadows. It grows in darkness because it can do nothing else.

After finally seeing what he felt for me, feeling the force of it coursing through me, I seriously doubted I would have the resolve to stay away from him again. Even if my life depended on it.

His lips brushed my forehead. “I have learned a thousand languages through the eons, and I still can’t conjure the words to truly express what you mean to me. No stumbling declaration of love could ever measure up to the way meeting you altered my very existence.”

Tears blurred my vision, and I let them fall. It wasn’t just his words that cut deep. He wasn’t holding anything back internally either.

I’d spent a hundred and thirty years thinking I was alone in my misery. Realizing he’d been swallowed up by the same yawning sadness was a balm to my soul, even as it broke my heart all over again.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice hitching.

“Don’t do that.” Rough fingertips trailed down my back. “What happened back then was my fault. I thought I was protecting you by putting distance between us after the others found out how powerful you’d become. But I was so wrapped up in keeping you safe that it never even occurred to me that you might not feel safe with me.”

A weak laugh bubbled up my throat. “You were terrifying.” I’d meant it as a tease, kind of, but he wasn’t amused.

“Am I still?”

I thought about my answer for a long while before I finally confessed, “Yes, but for different reasons.”

He shifted us on the bed, laying me on my back and settling his big frame between my legs as he loomed over me. He was already hard again, and that hungry look in his eye told me I was in for a long night. “Is this one of the reasons?” he murmured, kissing his way down my body.

He knew it was. I’d left my walls down while I sorted through my feelings, so he knew the way I craved him, the way I needed him, frightened me. It was visceral. Violent. Desperate. When he was close, he clouded my thoughts, and when he touched me?—

His tongue raked up my center and my thoughts scattered like marbles spilling onto a wooden floor. He licked and nipped and sucked until my throat was raw from my screams and my knuckles throbbed from gripping his hair, the sheets, his shoulders. And when he’d had his fill, he sank into me again, slow and deep.

We didn’t talk. There was no need when our connection was wide open. And when we both climaxed again, it was like we were sealing some silent promise.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because when I blinked awake, with Emerson’s warm body cocooning me, the orange tint of dawn was peeking through the windows.

It didn’t feel real.

I pinched the inside of my arm to be sure, and yep, I was awake. I wasn’t wrapped up in yet another dream that would leave my heart bruised for days.

When I tried to ease out from under his arm, his grip tightened, and he pulled me back flush against his chest. “Stay,” he growled.

Gods, how I wanted to. I hadn’t felt this kind of contentment… ever. Not even the first time we were together. But things were different now.

“If I don’t head back soon, my people will start to worry. You don’t want another tactical team crashing into your living room, do you?”

His dark chuckle sent a shiver through me. “Let them come. I have nothing to hide.”

“So they can see us tangled up and naked together? No thanks.”

A subtle tension filled the air. “No one else gets to see you naked.”

And just like that, my broody, possessive demon was back. I peeled out of his arms and turned to face him. “Which is precisely why I need to go.”

“Can’t you just call? ”

Technically? Yes, but there was a reason I left my phone in my suite and drove my personal vehicle. I’d come here not knowing what to expect, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to share whatever this thing between us—whatever it was—with anyone else.

“No. Plus, we still have a few things to sort out if we’re going to corner Megan.”

“Right. The witch.” Emerson rolled back against the soft pillows and stretched out his long, naked body in a blatant enticement.

Forget being a demon. This man was the devil incarnate.

My gaze trailed down his muscled chest and abs to where his heavy cock rested against his stomach. It took me longer than it should have to drag my attention back up to relatively safe ground.

“Have you been spreading the word?” I asked, praying he couldn’t sense the way seeing him like that had my blood warming again.

He eyed me without responding.

“Come on. This is the plan we all agreed to.”

His job was to warn others in the magical community that a witch was planning to reach out to the veil. That kind of news would spread quickly, especially coming from one of the Brethren. The smart ones would keep their distance, but it would be sure to draw Megan’s attention.

He ran his tongue over the ridge of his teeth before dipping his head. “I’ve been doing my part, but I still don’t like this.”

“And I still don’t see a better option. Unless you have something you’d like to share with the class?”

He stared back at me in silence.

“That’s what I thought.” I climbed out of his sinfully soft bed and started gathering my clothes off the floor.

Emerson watched without saying a word, at least not until I was fully dressed and looking at him through the massive hole in the wall between his living room and bedroom. At least he’d cleaned up the mess from his short tangle with Nguyen.

“Remember what I said,” he warned, his voice dipping low.

“About?”

“Running.”

I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. “Hypothetically, what happens if I do decide to run?”

He sat up slowly, a threat glinting in his blue eyes. “I will hunt you to the end of this world and into the next.”

Damn. I was tempted to fan myself. “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” I teased despite the tightness in my chest.

Before I could blink, he was off the bed, across the room, and holding me captive to his kiss. When he pulled back, any hint of playfulness I might have imagined in his expression was gone. “I lost you once, Senna. I won’t let it happen again.”

I swallowed hard. “I’m not running, but things are bound to get complicated.”

“I can do complicated. What I can’t do is spend another century without you.”

Way to grab the blade and twist.

What was I supposed to say? I’d changed so much in the years in between, more than he knew, but he was different too. The old Emerson never would have let me see this side of him.

He pressed a gentler kiss to my lips. “Come back tonight.”

“Is that a request?” I asked, arching my brow as I leaned back.

A smirk flirted with the corner of his mouth. “We can call it that.”

I bit my bottom lip as I pressed my palm to his bare chest and put some space between us, releasing a subtle pulse of energy as I moved. It was minimal—the equivalent of touching your tongue to a 9-volt battery—but he felt it .

Strong fingers wrapped around my wrist, holding me with his strength almost as effectively as he did with the determination burning in his expression. “Come back, Senna.”

He made it sound like he meant for the night, but there were two little words he left off his verbal request that changed the meaning entirely.

Come back to me, Senna.

I studied him, the beat of his heart spreading into my palm and echoing through my body.

Could I promise that?

We were standing at a crossroads, but as sure as I was that I still loved him, and that he loved me, I was still so damned scared.

“I’ll come back tonight,” I finally offered. “But it’ll be late. I have missions to review, teams to supervise.” Not to mention planning a showdown with a morally corrupt witch that only amplified the unease churning inside me.

All I got in response was the tiniest of nods before he released my wrist and stepped back. A few silent seconds passed before I realized I’d unintentionally throttled our connection again.

I offered him an apologetic look and eased my inner doors open. “This isn’t easy for me.”

“Do you think it is for me?”

No, but we were reuniting from very different places. I’d spent our time apart believing he wanted me dead. It’d taken him decades to accept that I was. I could only imagine the questions he must have asked himself when he saw me that day in Athlone and discovered I’d spent a lifetime hiding from him.

There was no easy path forward for us.

“Give me time,” I whispered.

A muscle in his jaw ticked. It was clear he wanted to say more, but instead he took a step back. “I’ll see you tonight.”