Page 15

L ife isn’t impossible. It’s not even difficult. But it sure is trying.

I knew there would be a learning curve when we started this mission—just didn’t expect it to be on my side. And it’s not even the intel or physical parts that I’m behind on. It’s the separating myself from my partner aspect. I’ve gained more respect for Casper in the past forty-eight hours than I think I did the entire time we knew each other before this. Especially since he’s kept his word and hasn’t even moved an inch on my side of the bed when we’ve slept in it. Granted, I’m hugging the edge like it’s a lifeline that might be snipped at any moment.

Yesterday, we had a meeting with Bane and looped him in enough to get him on our side, but we didn’t tell him everything. He’d heard of the Crazy Eights, but unlike Casper, he’s never worked with them directly to know of anything other than a name. Guy didn’t even bat an eye when we told him I was part of the company. It surprised me to learn that Casper’s Hounds had kept the debt they owed us a secret within their chapter only. If we needed to pull in a Hound from another chapter to satisfy the debt, we would have, and it would have blown up in their faces.C8 doesn’t play games. We just take what’s owed.

Casper was okay with not giving the full details on how Candy became known to the Hounds in the first place. He just said we reached out because we needed the help. Something I would normally bristle at sharing, but it’s true. The kink club isn’t discriminatory by any means, but auction rules usually dictate more often than not that only an experienced Dom can purchase a sub. And while a C8 operative might be dominant in life and play at it when given the chance, we don’t have anyone who’s been in the lifestyle long enough to know all the rules and blend in on that level.

Bane wasn’t so bad. Different from what I thought a club president would be, but I’ve only dealt with those in Casper’s chapter. I figured there’d be differences, but not too many. I especially didn’t expect to learn that Bane runs his chapter as a dual head, meaning his VP is only a VP on paper and has the same authority over the club that Bane has. Even Casper was surprised by this, which makes me think he doesn’t approve of it. How can you have more than one person in charge? Hell, every running government has at least one person in charge who makes the final say.

Casper didn’t seem impressed, even when Bane explained it to him to try and turn his frown upside down. The guy even implied that Casper should take it on. Not sure how well they know each other, other than Bane introducing Casper to the BDSM scene. But Bane has zero understanding of what or who Casper is.

Even without the research I have on Casper, I know he’s not someone to be messed with. And you especially don’t critique the boss’s leadership style in front of someone not in the club. And there wasn’t only me but also some guy named Cast Off sitting in the office at the time.

Guy was a major douche. Didn’t even stand when Casper and I walked in. Not that I expect any of them to play the gentleman card and offer me a chair, but again, Casper’s the president. Of the mother chapter. Newly appointed. In my book, the title alone gains your respect.

But I kept my thoughts to myself, as it wasn’t my place to voice them. Well, right now, anyway. I’ve got no problem telling Casper how much I don’t trust these guys later. But it’s his club. He can deal with those in it on his own.

After giving the details to Bane and his guys, who weren’t as helpful as we’d hoped, we left him to make a few calls and headed to one of the private gyms the club owned. This building was an old motel that got converted ten years back. Casper explained that it might be large, but it’s more to store the snowplows and other winter fun. Something I’m never a fan of. Give me heat and sweat any day of the week before that white powdery stuff. Snow’s only good for half a second before it turns to ice and sleet or whatever other yuck comes from it. I also don’t like the cold. I grew up in Minnesota and got out of there the first chance I had to head to warmer, sunnier times.

The workouts gave me and Casper time to work on our trust. Sparring not only let out some of our tension from waiting around, but it also showed that we can each trust the other to have our back. Okay, it was all for Casper’s benefit. I knew how awesome I was, but I get that he needed to see it firsthand. His military record speaks volumes about his training, while mine isn’t recorded anywhere official.

The talking, planning, and physical limits we’re pushing each other to reach is strenuous but doable. We’ve even started talking more with each other rather than at. It’s been a world of difference these past two days compared to when we got teamed up together. We aren’t Batman and Robin by any means in regard to getting along with each other, but we’re making it work for what we need it to be.

If that’s considered the easier parts of life, what’s the strenuous section? Can we say bedroom energy? I smell the guy nonstop. His sweat literally makes me salivate. I’m like every freaking romance book cliché out there. Girl shares a room with enemy and becomes hooked. I always laughed at those types of books, but I’m freaking living it. The guy is everywhere. He’s shirtless. Covered. Tats showing. Grease on his skin. Freshly showered. You name it, I’ve seen it and lived with it. And it’s hard not to want to lick the man.

I didn’t realize how much of a test this would be for me. I’ve never had this much of a reaction to anyone since I learned that sex can be fun with the right partner. Granted, I was sixteen and had little to compare it to, but I was smitten with that guy so quickly, it was all I could do not to burst out of my skin when I saw him.

But that was when I was young. New to life and experiences. It made sense for such quick and intense feelings. But I’m a woman now. I’ve been through shit, good and bad, but things that made me wiser. And yet I feel as though I’m panting after my roommate like a dog in heat.

“Want to go over it one more time?”

The plan. That’s all he’s asking about. Not the kiss. Sure, that’s part of the plan, but not all of it. Not that we’ve even practiced that or anything. Or that we would need to. I mean, it’s just a kiss. It’s a simple thing. We already shared one. Sort of. When I threw myself on him before all of this.

Not even sure why I did it. I’ve thought about it a lot more than I should. At the time, there was no thought to it. I wanted it, so I did it. Since then, I’ve tried to figure out what pushed me over the edge. Was it the fact that I’ve been missing that type of connection? Was it a simple case of lust at the right moment? Or did I want to share something special with someone that was all me and not something created to keep my image in place?

Maybe all of the above.

“Yeah.” I set my water down and sit on the bed opposite him as we look over the floor plans Bane got us. It’s similar to what C8 had, with just a few differences. Couple extra storage closets and two side entrances added by the new management. One is right by the new docks, and both Casper and I think it’s the primary location for either offloading new submissives or whisking them out of the building, then the country.

“Once we arrive, Bane says the room he got for us will be on the third floor, facing the north side of the river. If we can trust him.” I mumble the last bit, and he crosses his arms.

“We can trust him.” There’s a note of finality with it, but I ignore that.

“You sure? You can say that for everyone here?” I can’t put my finger on it, but I just don’t get the trusting vibe off everyone here like I do back home.

Home. Huh, a funny concept. I usually move too much to have one, but somehow Kansas is a place I’ve felt free enough to let myself settle in. Even if it was part of a lie.

He concedes my point and sighs as he lets his arms fall. “Not everyone. But Hounds are a different breed. We don’t let just anyone in. We have a strict probation period for a reason. Although I don’t agree with their methods, I’m the visitor here. Despite what you might think, I can’t just come in and change things and make demands. There are protocols involved that make what you’re talking about a bigger problem.”

“But you could.”

“Yeah, and I might. But do you want to fix a part of my club or find Candy?”

“Candy.” I nod in acceptance of leaving it alone.

“Right. So, after we get to the room, we should have a clear view of who comes in and out of those docks. We won’t be able to watch the entire time, but we can set up a camera and have your people keep the feed open.”

“Jack already confirmed that the camera was working when we entered the building the last time, so the signal should keep transmitting unless the rooms have a different feature or they put up a blocker. If we’re going to be out mingling with the other guests, we won’t be able to keep in contact with them, but they have Bane’s number if they need it.”

“Ha, yeah. He got a kick out of it the last time they called him.”

I shrug. It clearly showcased my group’s abilities. When Bane let us talk, we used his office, and, at my request, I had our phones turned off. I said it was to prevent recording, but I actually wanted to showcase our abilities. Turning the phone on and calling his unlisted number got him to look at me twice. Casper included. But while Bane was suspicious, Casper just rolled his eyes and called me a show-off. Cast Off didn’t even blink, too busy playing a game on his phone to care.

“The first night will be mostly a meet and greet. Bane says they set up some food like a buffet and have some locals put on a bit of a show to break the ice. Most things won’t happen till after that. Bane gave me a list of what’s planned, but it’s not been made public yet, so it might change. New management has a thing for keeping the weekend events a secret until the time comes. They also like theme nights, but that’s usually around some holiday. We won’t know till they announce it at that meet-and-greet thing.”

“And if it’s a theme weekend, the kink club will provide the attire as needed and put it in our rooms while we’re at the event.” I frown. “I really hope they don’t want to do pony play.”

He smirks. “Not a fan of crawling still?”

I blush and shake my head. “It’s not that. I just know you’d stick a tail in my ass, and I have no desire to be tickled by horsehair on my butt all weekend long.”

He chuckles but then pushes the papers away from him and stretches out on the bed. I try not to admire the way his shirt pulls across his tight stomach or how it rises a bit to show his happy trail.

“You got any limits?” I raise an eyebrow, to which he shrugs as he puts his hands behind his head. “Other than what we already discussed. Anything completely off the table? Missions can go sideways quickly on a good day, but we’re walking into a BDSM club where we won’t be able to have our weapons at the ready. I just need to know what’s off the table so we don’t get put in that situation.”

“Restraints.” God, do I want them, but it would be stupid to have my hands tied or cuffed if we need to get out quickly.

“Yeah, I thought that too. If someone asks, we’ll say you had a childhood trauma, so anything other than a few sets of hands restraining you is out.”

“I told you I don’t like to be shared.” My glare is more out of annoyance that I have to remind him. A good Dom doesn’t have to be told twice.

“And I don’t like to.” He levels me with a look that shuts me up. I have to remember this is just a game, that I’ll pretend so we can get information if it comes to it. I won’t be forced to sleep with anyone. I make the choice when it comes to my body. Have I slept with someone for the job before? Sure. Is it something I do all the time? No. It’s not my style, but I know several who use it as their in. No shade to those who flaunt it and take what they want from it.

“But people like to watch,” he continues. “And with us being new, we’ll get eyes on us. Everyone new this weekend will have more eyes than not, I’m sure, especially if the auction is going down like your groups says. We probably got a few extra points in our favor because we showed up a couple of days earlier, but we’re still going to be seen as outsiders. And from a seller’s standpoint, an outsider is one of two things: a potential buyer or a product.”

“If an auction is even happening,” I say with a sigh, which has him nodding. I trust my company, but they seem to have the only knowledge that one is happening this weekend. Bane said they’ve never done one under the new management. Only did two or three before that, and it was all in-house for swapping partners for the night. However, Bane also said it sounds like something the new owners would try. Even Casper admitted that both Flint and Gator were checking their connections, and no one’s saying anything at all.

I’ve never worked with someone outside the Crazy Eights like this. I’ve always trusted the intel. But from the looks Casper keeps giving me when we talk about it, I know he doesn’t buy into it like I do.

“If my people say it’s there, then it has to be. They’ve never let me down before.”

“That you know of.” He gives me a side-eye before looking at the ceiling. “I trusted everything my commander told me to do. Never doubted it. They gave me a target, and I trusted that the reason I was to take them out was because they were bad. That they cost the lives of innocents or US soldiers. You don’t know how much you’re capable of when you’re blinded by the unknown and the truth is kept from you.”

I shake my head before he can even finish. “My company isn’t like that. I get that you have trust issues with those in charge. Kind of funny if you think about how you’re the one now calling the shots. But C8 found me when I was at my lowest. It wasn’t because I was top of my class or because I was easy to get along with. They picked me up, dusted me off, and I said fuck off. I gave them the big middle finger for months before I saw the good they did. I did my research on them like they did on me. I didn’t just look at the fancy brochure and trust what it said.”

“You guys have brochures?” His smirk has me rolling my eyes.

“Not the point. If my company found something that no one else has, I trust it. That’s what we do. If we found what everyone knew, we would be worthless. I get that it sounds sketchy, and I’ll admit I’m hesitant too. But I believe that this is the last lead we have in finding Candy before the trail runs cold. I don’t know where they got the information about this weekend, but I have to trust it. Got nothing else to go on if I don’t. And if that means we’re walking into something more than an auction for sleazy lowlifes who enjoy owning a person against their will, then I’m willing to take that chance. The Crazy Eights have a saying: ‘You can’t save them all, but if you can, save one.’ Candy is my one.”

“Even if it costs you your life?”

No hesitation. “Yes.”

He holds my stare for a long second before murmuring, “It’s getting harder to not like you when you talk like that.”

My breath hitches as my palms itch. The way he’s looking at me right now is the same way he did seconds before I kissed him. There was no filter, no pretense then. Just a man and a woman standing close to each other, living in the moment. But unlike then, I don’t reach forward. I don’t press my lips to his soft ones and feel the slight tickle of his facial hair on my skin.

“We need to be closer.”

I frown. “What?”

He sits up, looks at the mess on the bed, and then stands. “Closer. We need to make sure you’re as comfortable with my touch as I am touching you. We need them to think this is our one millionth time together, not our first.”

My jaw hangs open like a bass fish going after its prey. “You want to fuck? Here? Now?” Not sure why my voice is getting all high-pitched and squeaky. I sound like that Friends character always saying he’s fine.

The smirk that started on his face turns to one a parent gives a child who explains that two plus two isn’t twenty-two. “There are a lot more ways than having sex to get you comfortable with my touch.”

If that doesn’t have me shutting my mouth and turning beet red so fast, nothing will.

He goes back to the only chair we have. I’ve used it to fling my clothes on. Something Casper has mentioned is not what it’s used for. Whatever. I don’t have the tidy gene like he does. I like to spread out with my clothes. Usually I have a walk-in closet to at least corral the chaos of my clothes that I throw in there. All this place has is one tall dresser, a nightstand on either side of the queen bed, and one wingback chair under the mounted TV on the wall. There isn’t even a side table to use as a desk or anything. I’ve got half a mind to think they just put the chair in here a second before we arrived so they can say the visiting president had the nicest room in the place.

“Come.” He pats his knee like what I imagine Santa does when talking to children. I never sat on Santa’s lap. Never sat on anyone’s lap that I know of. Not even as a child.

And yet I stand and walk over to him.

Things are about to get more strenuous. Judging by the size of his bulge, at least it won’t be one-sided.