Page 27 of Carry On (Love Doesn’t Cure All #4)

NASH

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I ran my hands over my face.

I was so goddamn tired, but I couldn’t sleep.

I couldn’t turn my brain off, even with all the medication in my system.

The few times I did, the screaming started.

Most days, I wasn’t sure what was worse: the lack of sleep or the nightmares.

No matter what I did, nothing changed. It was the same push and pull, day in and day out.

You know how to change it, the voice said. There’s only one way out.

Yeah, I knew that too.

Minding my noise, I eased out of bed and grabbed my clothes off the floor.

I faltered, taking just a moment to admire the uninhibited way Lincoln was sprawled and tangled in the sheets.

A million little haunted thoughts trickled through my brain, but one stood out: this wasn’t a smart idea.

Whatever this was, it was laced with disappointment—for him.

Since when do you do anything smart? the voice asked.

I sighed. It was a little louder and more obnoxious than normal, something I was used to when the nightmares hit.

I padded out into the living room and closed the door softly. I waited for a heartbeat of a moment to see if the slight noise would wake him. When his soft snoring continued uninterrupted, I got dressed.

For as tired as my body was, I made quick work of getting my shit together. I just wanted out of there before I was forced into an uncomfortable conversation with him. I didn’t know how to talk to him in any way that made sense.

A good guy with a normal life couldn’t understand mine.

Putting some distance between us was the best thing I could do.

I formulated a plan as I situated my bags on my shoulders and left.

If I gave myself a good two weeks of playing in some of the more populated areas, I could make enough for a bus ticket out of town.

I’d go somewhere new. Start over. I could make do without a lot of things in the name of getting the fuck out of dodge.

He doesn’t deserve your mess, the voice reminded me.

Yeah, I knew that.

I just had to put a reasonable distance between Lincoln and me. I couldn’t deny the weird draw between us, and I couldn’t explain it either. If we crossed paths again, I’d cave. We’d end up right back here, and here would only lead to misery for him. He deserved better than the likes of me.