Page 70 of Carnal Urges

To let him break me, savage me, tear me apart.

I’ve never felt like this before in my life.

Blue eyes glittering, he licks his lips. When he bends toward me, I almost moan in relief. I need his mouth on mine like I need oxygen.

“Oh. Pardon me.”

The doctor stands in the open doorway, looking nervously back and forth between us. When we don’t say anything, he coughs discreetly into his hand.

“I had you scheduled for another CT scan, but I can certainly come back at a better time.”

When he turns to leave, Declan says, “No. We’ll do it now.”

His voice is rough. His jaw is hard. He straightens and cuts his burning gaze back to mine. He holds my chin for a moment longer, then drops his hand to his side.

I nearly topple off the bed onto the floor, but manage to keep myself upright.

“Be good,” he commands, his tone warning. Then he turns on his heel and walks out.

The doctor looks at me with raised brows. There’s a high possibility I’m going to punch him in the throat.

The entire time I’m having the CT scan done, all I can think about is Declan’s expression when he had his hand around my jaw.

I’ve never seen a man look so hungry.

Or so at war with himself.

The scan shows improvement of the blood clot, which makes Dr. Callahan glow with relief. I’m taken back to my room and given a meal of Jell-O, applesauce, and white rice. I tell the nurse’s assistant who brings it that I still have my teeth and my colon and ask her to take the tray away.

Then I wait for Declan to return.

He never does.

For the rest of that day, I’m left alone with only the occasional visit from Nancy checking my vitals to keep me company. I try to distract myself from thoughts of Declan by reading, napping, and watching TV, but nothing helps. He’s installed himself inside my head like a tumor.

The next morning, there’s another CT scan. The results are so good, the doctor says I can go home.

Home. Like I know where that is anymore. My apartment in Tahoe? In New York City with Natalie? At Declan’s impersonal bachelor pad?

He kidnapped me and cut me off from my life, leaving me drifting aimlessly in an inflatable raft with no paddles. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I have a curious sense that all it would take is one big wave to come crashing over me, and I’ll sink.

When I’m released from the hospital that evening, it’s Kieran who drives me. I ask where his boss is, but all I get is a shrug.

Something about that shrug unsettles me. The feeling grows stronger as we take a turn off the highway and start to drive in the opposite direction from where Declan lives in the city center.

Looking at the suburbs passing by, I say, “Where are we going?”

When he answers, his voice is grim. “Yer bein’ picked up by yer mate.”

I turn to him, heart pounding. “My mate? You mean Natalie? What’s happening?”

“Yer goin’ home, lass. That’s all I know.”

I stare at his tense profile, feeling like someone pulled a rug out from under me. “So Declan’s making you take out the trash, huh? You’re the lucky one who gets to clean up the mess he made?”

He glances at me and says gently, “Don’t be sore. I could tell he wasn’t happy about it.”

“Wasn’t happy?Well, god forbid the grand pooh-bah isn’t happy. Is that even a thing that ever happens, him being happy? I thought resting bitch face was the default mode for his entire personality!”