Page 79 of Cara

He shakes his head, his jaw shivering.

He’s not going to tell me.

“For how long?”

His lack of an answer—it makes me sick. My eyes dart to his hands, to the scars that weren’t there when he sent me off. I'm suddenly desperate to see the rest of him.

Storming across the sand, I tear at his shirt. He grabs my arms, stopping me, but what’s revealed is telling enough. The shape of his torso is no longer what I remember, covered in indentations from countless acts of hate. My wrists go limp in his grip as he crushes me to him.

My eyes are wide enough to hurt.

My mouth hangs in disbelief.

“I’ve never regretted it. Not once.” His hand covers the nape of my neck. “I’d do it a million times to free you from him again.”

It’s too much.

I whirl from him, pacing along the shoreline.

I don’t know where I’m going. It doesn’t matter. Nothing does after seeing that.

He captures my hand. “Sophie, stop.”

Everything is spinning, but his hands, seizing my face, are grounding. His eyes dare me to look away.

Birds hum in the distance, swooping down into the rough ocean. Xavier releases an unsteady breath. “The world believes my father died in a boating accident. That’s what the headlines said… The truth is that while he did this to me, I used my hate to unseat him, steal his men out from under him. I arranged that fire. I sent Bo after him. Made him bring my father into the same cell you were held in.”

I'm scared. Fucking terrified.

His features flinch as he recalls the memory. “I killed him, Sophie. I took an entire night to do it, stretching out the blows. I could barely recognize him by the end. When he’d fade, I’d bring him back. He… He couldn’t scream.” He shakes his head as if he can’t stand the thought. “He kept saying my name. I was waiting, aching for him to die, but hewouldn’t.”

My throat tightens, tears welling up for him. This was his father, a man he dedicated his life to making proud. My hands tremble against his jaw, speechless, struggling to find words of comfort. He continues, forcing the words out.

“That night, Bo told me where you’d gone.”

My eyes close as I nestle into his throat, both relieved and pained, understanding now.

“I could barely move, walk, think. I’d sunk into the pits of hell. I don’t think you could understand what it took for me to do that to him, no matter what he’d done to me. So many times, I almost stopped while he begged me to spare him, reminding me that I was his son. I’d lose my nerve. And then I’d remember what he did to you, and I became the fuckingdevil, Sophie.”

I hold him tighter.

“I became in that moment everything you hated.”

“No.”

“When Bo told me to go after you, I convinced myself you were better off without me. I knew doing that to my father would change me… and it has. Knowing that has kept me stagnant, living one goddamn awful day to the next.” He strokes my hair gently. “You said you’re a different woman from the one I married. Well, I can’t even describe how different I’ve become… especially after living a whole year believing you were dead.”

He clasps my hand, pressing it against his cheek. His eyes fall closed. “None of this had any meaning without you. The whole world turned against me.”

“I'm here, Xavier.”

“Are you?”

The question hollows my gut.

Sophie

The early sunrise bathes the bedroom walls in gentle orange, infusing life into the relics of Xavier’s childhood.