Page 145 of Cara

It’s all I can think of. The blood on my hands, barely any of it mine. My eyes scan the room for the most important corpse, but the gaze I wished would be frozen forever is staring directly at me. My father remains exactly where I left him, not a limb stirred, as if he had accepted the death I was waging against everything around me. Yet, a smile lingers on his dark, twisted lips.

Pride. It’s pride.

I'm vomiting again, scrambling to my feet, hearing Xavier roar my name as I lunge through the doors into the night.

Just a few steps outside, I’m halted by a gun lodged to my forehead. I freeze, confronted by one of my bleeding victims.

Another gun is instantly cocked behind me, followed by a frigid voice, a bottomless rasp that promises death. “Pull that trigger, Sergio… and I will killeveryoneyou have ever loved.”

Not an ounce of remorse. Hesitation.

Xavier Marcello means every word.

“She has to pay for what she did!”

Kill me, Sergio.I'm sure my eyes are begging for it.

The made man hesitates, torn between my resolve and the only person who will never let me die.

Sergio doesn’t make the decision fast enough. Xavier fires a shot right into his chest and then into his skull to ensure he stays down.

All I can do is watch it happen. This devastation I’ve just reaped on the lives of everyone I love.

With two bullets, Xavier forsakes his own men.

The guards and soldiers and capos and ranked men watch in horror as their comrade collapses lifelessly into the cold dirt, while their Boss—theirleader—proves who his loyalty truly lies with—someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Everything changes in the span of a single moment.

Chaos.

Men abandoning their posts, fleeing for the streets to save themselves. Men charging through the lawn for revenge.

And I keep hearing my father’s words.

Weaknesses get you killed.

He was right.

Xavier is tackled to the ground. They snatch my legs next, pulling us from one another. Driven by the primal instinct to survive, my arms compel me to respond and fight them off. Every bullet Xavier fires into the men who dominate us sends a tremor through my body.

Just survive.

Just savehim.

My fist cuts sharply into one of their throats. I toss my legs around him, spinning until he’s pinned beneath me. It’s then that hands capture my arms, lifting me off of him and through the lawn.Dante. I'm frozen seeing his face, determined to get me out of the battle. He crosses the terrace, dragging me along,tossing me into the house, and slams the door shut with a firm “Hide.”

Tears scale my face. The fact that I didn’t know what I was doing, that I was trapped in hell and just wanted to escape, is something that no one will ever understand but me. Xavier may never even know why I ruined our lives. In one moment, we lost everything. There’s no coming back from this.

Xavier must know it.

It’s why he fired a bullet into his soldier instead of me.

Struggling to breathe, I somehow manage to stand, hearing someone run into the house behind me. With only enough time to gasp, Xavier has seized my hand, drenched in the blood of his men and some of his own.

In the front room, he lets me go and shoots for the potted plant. Digging into the soil, he pulls out a bag and retrieves a set of keys from the wall. “Get out of here. Go to Dante’s. Get Mimi out of the house. They’ll hit there first. I’ll meet you?—”

No. “I’m not leaving?—”