Page 34

Lola

I laugh, watching the little legs of Ivy’s niece hustle over to her mom and aunt, telling them that this is the best night of her life and everyone else is going to be happy because this party has pizza.

I’m so enthralled by the six-year-old I don’t notice that Byron’s settled in the seat next to me.

“She’s going to break hearts like you one day.”

I pretend to watch the little family I’ve come to adore over the last few years, trying not to think about how I spent all of last year dreaming of having a family with him. He doesn’t know that. He will never know that.

“Maybe she’ll be smart enough not to date within her friend group.”

I feel Byron tense up next to me.

“Want to go take a couple of shots before everyone else gets here?”

I don’t hate the suggestion. I pretend to weigh my options, shake my head from side to side.

I forgot about the rest of our friends. I wonder if they’ve all seen the directing debut from my boyfriend–ex-boyfriend.

A sex tape that has been going around the college hockey world.

I’ll never understand how a girl could sleep with Dalton even though I was plastered all over his Instagram.

“Are people still talking about the sex tape?” My hand is trembling when I go to pick up the tequila bottle.

The both of us must be some kind of sick because even after not talking all summer and working all semester to get some kind of semblance of our relationship back.

All that was for nothing. When it really mattered, we were each other’s rock.

Over the last day he’s shown me that if I can only have one person in my corner I want it to be him.

“Yeah,” He scrunches his nose up, “it hasn’t really stopped.” His blue eyes grow apologetic as he tells me the truth. Knowing that honesty, even though in this case it sucks to hear, is all I want from our relationship.

I pop the cap off the expensive-looking bottle of tequila and line up four shot glasses.

Handing two to Byron, “Promise me you’ll make sure I have a drink in my hands at all times tonight,” I ask.

“Only if you do the same for me.”

I hold up my first shot in solidarity, and when he clinks his glass to mine, I know I’m about to be in for one hell of a night.

As the party starts winding down, I find myself deep in conversation with this older man about how we expect too much out of college athletes. I’m not sure if he is just appeasing me because I’m clearly hammered or if he actually cares, but I do.

“All of the friends I made in college are athletes, and they all don’t have time to do shit.” I have no control over my hand gestures; they are just flying all over the place.

“I agree,” he nods with a small smile.

I’m stunned silent when an arm covered in tattoos is draped over my shoulder.

“Hey Coach, I see you’ve met Lola.”

The sip of my dirty Shirley feels like a boulder going down my throat.

“This is Coach Hale?” The elusive Coach Hale. I feel like I’m that idiot that talks Josh Allen’s ear off in line at Starbucks not realizing he is one of the best quarterbacks in football.

All eyes left at the party turn in our direction. I’m loud when I’m sober. I don’t even know what to call it when I’m drunk.

“It is Pips. I’m happy to hear that you miss me during the season,” Byron pats my head in the most condescending way. “But I’ll always make time for you.”

If I was sober I would have told him to fuck off, not everything is about him, but I’m drunk and feeling nostalgic. I’m so lost in Byron’s warm blue eyes that I don’t notice that Jalen has joined the conversation.

“Coach, I can’t believe you’re still here,” Jalen’s voice cuts through my daze.

“Well, it’s not every day you get to celebrate two of the best young people I know, but I think this party is taking a turn I don’t think I belong in.”

I huff out a breath, slightly offended. I glance around the apartment to see that the only people left are our friends. Which means I can drink more without judgment from anyone over the age of forty.

“I’ve heard a lot of great things about you, Mr. Hale. It was nice meeting you.” A hiccup escapes and I rush to cover my mouth with my hand.

“And sorry you got stuck listening to my drunk ramblings.”

“We’ve all been there, Coach, so don’t feel special,” Jalen chimes in.

“Well, I’m offended.” I pretend to storm away, but throw a wink over my shoulder on the way to the bar.

The bar isn’t the place of solitude and reflection I hoped it to be. I have just decided to switch to rum when Indy and Margo have me sandwiched between them.

“I know now is not the time,” Indy says cautiously. “But I care more about you than I care about this party,” She takes my hand and wraps it in both of her’s.

“How are you doing?”

I forget my planned rum and pull out the bottle of Henesy, pouring what’s maybe two and a half shots into a solo cup and down it in one go.

“I held in the tears until I returned his stuff,” I pause. The memories of how Byron tried to make an emotionally exhausting day a little bit better flash through my mind.

“But then Byron bought me pastries and coffee and it reminded me of all the amazing friends I have.”

Even in the four-inch heels I’m wearing, I am still sandwiched between the chests of Indy and Margo.

I fan my face with my hand, trying to keep the tears at bay.

I ditch the next drink I was going to pour myself.

“I think I’m going to get some fresh air.”

I’m not sure they even hear me. They’re too busy pouring shots for Oliver and Marcus. My friends are all in a celebratory mood and I feel guilty I can’t get in one myself.

Jalen and Ivy have this balcony that has the most mind-blowing view. I rest my arms on the railing and lay my chin against it. Dreaming that next year I’ll be in this city and enrolled in culinary school.

Goosebumps flood my skin. On a nearly abandoned balcony he found me.

“What ya thinking about Pipsqueak?”

Heat starts climbing up my neck and flows over my cheeks. For the first time since school started I want him.

“Kiss me.”

I face him. His face is expressionless.

I inhale deeply, voicing what I want for once, not caring what everyone else wants from me. I want Byron and I want him to know that.

“Bring your index finger to your nose three times,” he pauses the weird request before adding. “With each hand.”

“What?”

“Please just do it,” He pleads while demonstrating the task.

I adhere to his request without any blunders, but now I’m wondering when Byron’s idea of foreplay changed.

It’s when he asks me to stand on my left leg for thirty seconds that I fully understand what’s going on.

“Are you giving me a field sobriety test?”

“Yes. Now tell me when you’re standing so I can start my timer,” he says the words so seriously I can’t help but break out into laughter.

“Fine, if you are not going to do that, you’ll have to say the alphabet backwards.”

I stand on one foot and wrap my arms around his neck. I slowly pull his head towards mine until our eyes are locked on each other’s.

“Byron, I couldn’t do that if I was sober. Yes, I drank tonight. Yes, I’m still a little tipsy, but no, that doesn’t mean I’m going to regret this.” When his body doesn’t relax, I just go for it.

“By, you’re the one that I want. You’ve always cared. You cared enough to know that I normally would want space after the draft night debacle. When it comes to you, though, I never wanted that space. I just wanted to know that you’d always be there for me.”

“I will be,” his voice is laced with emotion. The yearning I know we both feel. The relief that we both want each other. The reassurance we both needed.

“I know, because this whole time you have been, and I didn’t make it easy.”

“You’ve never made it easy, Pips, that’s why I love you.”

I’m sure my eyes look crazy. That’s not where I was expecting this night to go. Deep down, I think I always knew that it was him. He’s always seen me in the way that I’d hoped my parents would.

“You really love me?”

“I do–” I’m sure he was going to list all of the reasons why, but he can tell me all those in the morning. Instead I pull him into the kiss I’ve been craving since he joined me on the balcony.

The kiss is perfect. It’s tender and sure. Loving and passionate.

“I love you too, but that doesn’t mean you can stop bringing me coffee to class.”

Byron’s eyes brighten to the most miraculous shade of blue. It’s like a crystal ball showing all of his emotions.

“I think the party is winding down and since we helped set up, I don’t think anyone would miss us if we snuck away.”