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Lola

What in the reality show did I just witness? I’m left in the entryway stunned. All I have to offer is a small smile and way too much cream cheese.

I catch up to Byron right before he storms into what I assume is his childhood bedroom.

When his hand grips the door, I let out a quick, “I’m behind you.” Knowing that if he slammed the door in my face, he’d let the guilt eat him alive. He doesn’t need to add another drop to the emotional rollercoaster he is on right now.

“Oh, hey,” he whispers. I gently place my hand in his. It’s clammy and shakes as I walk him to the bed. I place my hands on his shoulders, and encourage him to sit. When he is settled on the blue and gray checkered comforter, I make a place for myself between his legs.

“We’ve had an interesting day, haven’t we?” I brush his shaggy blonde hair away from his eyes patiently waiting for him to say something.

Byron wraps his hand around my waist and tugs me into his lap. When I’m firmly settled over one of his legs he drops his head to my shoulder.

“So, maybe surprising my Mom wasn’t the best idea.”

My genuine laugh breaks the tension. I quickly bring my hands to my mouth, not wanting Byron to think his feelings don’t matter to me, especially after how great he was on the car ride down here.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh, I just didn’t expect that to be the first thing that came out your mouth.”

He picks his head up off my shoulder before he runs his thumb over the apple of my cheek.

“Well, I may have been a little shocked to see my parents cuddled up on the couch.”

“You really didn’t know your parents were seeing each other again?”

His thumb freezes on my cheek. Stunned by the fact that he really is shocked by the idea that his parents might be together.

“I hate to break it to you, but I think your parents are dating.”

“What would make you think that?” He’s serious. He’s not fully processing what we just walked into.

“He looked very comfortable in the apartment, and they were cuddling watching TV.”

“Oh my god.”

“When was the last time you’ve seen your dad?”

“Like five years ago. He comes around every few years for a weekend or two, then disappears again.”

I lay my head on his shoulder. His fingers start to wonder up and down my back.

“What do you want to do? I can head to Ivy and Jalen’s if you want to talk to your parents.”

“The conversation won’t be long. Why don’t you stay in here and then we can head over there together,” Byron says wryly.

I wait a few seconds after Byron closes the door before I press my ear to it. I’m not normally one for gossip, but I want to make sure this conversation goes smoothly. He is the human manifestation of a golden retriever and it just feels wrong when he is sad. I really don’t like it.

I can’t hear much, but between the muffled words, I make out a few things.

Byron confirms that he did say he was coming home tomorrow.

That I am Lola, and yes, I’m the same Lola that he was dating last year.

Then, after a few minutes of conversation I can’t make out, Byron gets the confirmation that I think we both suspected. His parents have been dating for the last four months.

The thump of Byron’s Jordan’s against the hardwood is getting louder, so I hurry to resume the position he left me in on his bed.

“How much of that did you hear?” He asks me without any judgment of my assumed eavesdropping.

“Umm, I couldn’t really hear it all,” I pause trying to gauge how he is feeling. I can’t, his face is emotionless. I don’t know if he is happy, mad, or angry. Maybe all of the above?

“How do you feel about your parents not telling you?”

He turns his back to his bed and he falls on it. I know we haven’t had the most straightforward relationship over the last year and after what happened with Dalton I’m not so sure I can trust my gut anymore.

I trust my intuition and it’s telling me Byron was worth opening my heart to.

He may have not been as gentle with it as I would have liked, but he always handled it with care.

Maybe it’s what happened with Dalton, or simply maturing, but I’ve realized that I didn’t leave Byron the most straightforward directions on how to handle my heart.

I’ve always struggled with the fact that some people simply want to be there for me because they care about me. Not who they expect me to be.

Byron has only ever wanted me to be authentic and now I want to be there for him.

I give into his magnetic pull and somehow end up snuggled into Byron’s side with my head resting on his chest.

“They seem genuinely happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for my mom, but how does she trust him after everything he has put us through?”

Byron’s grip tightens on my hip. The honking horns and sirens that flood the Brooklyn streets outside suddenly go quiet and it’s just the two of us in our own world.

“I’m not sure. I can tell you that sometimes people realize they were wrong and that they deserve that second chance.”

It’s a loaded answer and not just about his parents’ relationship.

“Yeah maybe. I told them I’d meet them before we leave to go back to school and that we have to get to Ivy and Jalen’s to help set up for tomorrow.”

We slowly unravel from each other’s grip. I soak in how familiar it feels.

The moment we get to Jalen and Ivy’s apartment, she sends the boys out with a to-do list that is a mile long. I’m happy Byron’s mom offered to keep Mia at her place.

“Isn’t your fiance rich? Why don’t you have people doing this for you,” I tease.

“My mom would be so disappointed if she found out I couldn’t host a party.”

Ivy lost both her parents when she was eight, and I respect that she has always tried to keep the spirit of what they taught her alive. I had to poke fun at the fact that Jalen is making literal millions of dollars, and she is stressing herself out.

“Plus, I promised Coach Hale we would have homemade pizza as an appetizer, and I honestly would rather bite my tongue every time I eat than disappoint that man.”

I stare at my friend, both very proud and a little sad that she made herself a life of her own here in New York.

“Is Coach Hale on the Ranger’s staff?”

Ivy’s eyebrows pinch. “You haven’t heard about Coach Hale? He is the director of the hockey program where the guys met. He’s the best. He’s kind of been like a father figure to me since I moved here.”

“No he’s never mentioned it.” But I want to know all about it.

It’s like I’ve finally put the last piece of the puzzle together, and the picture is finally clear. I want to be with Byron. I pushed him away because I was scared. He makes me feel comfortable enough to be myself, the true Lola Adams.

Yeah, I’ve shown her in bits and pieces, but Byron was the only person to know how badly I wanted to pursue culinary school.

That finding a way to have a healthy relationship with my parents would be my greatest accomplishment.

Because of that strained relationship, I often wonder if I’m worthy of that one great love.

To that Byron’s actions have spoken for him. I’ve never met anyone more worthy.