Page 56 of Candy Hearts, Vol. 2

CHAPTER 10

FORD

My head was spinning. I might be asexual. At least on the asexual spectrum, which I needed to look up.

Except I’d been about to—enthusiastically—have phone sex with Zachary. Crap. I hope he wasn’t pissed I’d noped out at the last minute. Because I wouldn’t mind trying that again. Was phone sex okay because we wouldn’t have to touch each other?

I tried to imagine having phone sex with one of the guys who’d hit on me last night. I grimaced. No.

So it was Zachary? I was comfortable enough with him, a guy I’d only met by phone and only two days ago? What the hell kind of asexual was I?

What if Zachary were here in person? Would I let him touch me while we were naked? Huh. My brain and body were giving me a strong No but maybe one day . So I’d have to get to know him in person before that would be doable.

But shit, me being asexual to some degree explained so much. Like in high school when girls had flirted with me to get me to do their homework for them, and I’d been baffled as to why they’d think I’d agree. Or when I’d met Diedre, my ex, and we’d worked for the same clinic for almost a year before it’d occurred to me to ask her out.

I spent the next forty minutes searching the internet for information about asexuality. How had I never looked into this? What else didn’t I know about myself?

I needed to vent. I opened Discord.

DocPink

I figured out I’m demisexual.

Lizardman399

Thanks for sharing that with us! Can I ask what led to your realization? Only if you want to say.

DocPink

I didn’t find anyone attractive enough to sleep with at the bar. I didn’t mind talking to them, but I didn’t want their naked parts touching mine. I was telling Zachary about my sexual history, mostly about the lack of it, and he suggested I might be on the asexual spectrum. So I did some research, and demisexual fits me best.

GreatDaneGoddess

@DocPink, that’s wonderful. Congratulations on getting to know yourself better.

DocPink

Thanks. It’s weird having this realization in my forties, but at the same time it’s such a relief not feeling that pressure to conform with “normal” sexual habits.

Dr.DoyleLittle

Sorry I’m late to the party. Congrats, Ford. That’s awesome. But can we circle back to you talking to your suitcase swap guy about your sex life?

DocPink

He’s been encouraging me to wear some of his club clothes. He wanted to know if they had the desired effect.

Dr.DoyleLittle

You know, you never did show us his picture.

DocPink

Nice try

I was relaxed and smiling when I switched over to the messaging app. A good dose of friends had been exactly what I’d needed.

Me: Hey, sorry I bailed on you earlier. Thanks for helping me – I’m definitely demisexual.

Zachary: That’s great! I’m glad I could help. And no worries on needing to go do some research. I know I kind of dropped a bomb on you

Me: Yeah, well, I definitely owe you a rain check

Zachary: Are you sure? I mean because of the whole demisexual thing. I don’t want to cross your boundaries

Me: It turns out phone sex with you is well within the boundaries

Zachary: Yes! Just say when. Except right now, because I’m out shopping with the grooms. And tonight, because it’s the rehearsal dinner, and tomorrow night, because that’s the wedding.

Zachary: Almost forgot!

Zachary: [photo]

He was wearing my black shorts with my green and yellow Hawaiian shirt. Which on me looked like I was a lame dad at a backyard barbecue. Zachary looked like a runway model making some sort of hip anti-fashion artistic statement.

Me: Wow, how do you make that shirt look sexy?

Me: You’re going home Thursday?

Zachary: Friday morning. One more day of fun in Sin City after the wedding. [eye roll emoji]

Me: Not your thing?

Zachary: It’s fine. But five nights is overkill.

Me: You could go home early.

Zachary: Maybe. We’ll see how hungover I am after the wedding.

I looked at the time. I was still in my—Zachary’s—swimsuit. Lying by the pool didn’t have much appeal anymore. It was lunchtime, though. I could go find some food.

But what about the rest of the afternoon? Not to mention tonight. Now that I knew I wasn’t going to pick anyone up, I didn’t have to go to any bars. I tried not to enjoy my relief at that.

At least the rest of the week I had scheduled excursions during the day. It wouldn’t kill me to see a movie or something in the evenings. Maybe I could find some live music.

Or, like I’d suggested to Zachary, I could go back home early.

No, you won’t. This is your first vacation in over a year. What would Jimmy Buffett do?

Jimmy Buffett would no doubt find an adventure. I had time. I could find an adventure.

After an outstanding lunch of Mexican food, I headed over to the local zoo and botanical gardens. I’d originally had it on my schedule for Friday, but I’d find something else to do that day, something more adventurous. Today I wanted a relaxing outdoor experience.

I skipped most of the botanical gardens. The animals were where it was at. This zoo had a little of everything, even an Australian exhibit. Maybe I should go on a big adventure to Australia and see the wallabies and kangaroos in the wild. But when I thought of the time I’d need off work to make that happen, I decided Jimmy Buffett would be okay with me having shorter, less time-consuming adventures.

Slightly sunburned but feeling more myself than I’d been since arriving in Palm Springs, I returned to the hotel to change clothes. I wouldn’t hit up a gay bar, but I was in the mood for a nice dinner and a couple of alcoholic beverages.

My phone chimed with a text right as I exited the elevator.

Zachary: Whatcha doin’? [winky face emoji]

Immediately my cock plumped up. I hurried to unlock the door and drop my water bottle and zoo souvenirs on the desk.

Me: I just got back to my hotel room, and the strangest thing happened.

While I waited for his reply I yanked my shirt over my head.

Zachary: Oh, yeah?

Me: Yeah. I tripped on the carpet, and all of my clothes fell off.

Zachary: Damn, that’s almost as strange as what just happened to me.

Me: Oh, yeah? What happened to you?

Zachary: I could send you a picture, but I don’t want to cross any of your boundaries

Me: I think I’d like to see a picture.

Zachary: [photo]