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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

MILANA

W hen I rang the doorbell, I suddenly had a desire to turn around and leave, thinking this was a waste of my time.

I could have been trimming hedges with a pair of scissors or cleaning the grout in the floor tiles with a toothbrush.

Both sounded more appealing than what I was about to do.

Mrs. Paula opened the door, and her eyebrows lifted.

She glanced out the door like she was looking for Ferris.

When she didn’t see him, she frowned slightly. “Hi, Milana. You’re here without Ferris?”

“Yes, ma’am. I figured we needed to come to some sort of resolution or agreement or whatever.”

She stepped aside and allowed me to enter the house.

Mr. Botley must have been out. The house was quiet.

After she closed the door, she led me to the kitchen table.

Once she sat, I sat too. I brought my hands in front of me, clasping them together and resting them on the table.

I lowered my head and said, “It’s hurting Ferris to have to deal with this. ”

She looked away, but she didn’t say anything.

“I have done my best to get along with you and respect you. I get it. I’m young, and I had some drama in my life.

My family has people that hate them for no reason other than them being jealous.

It was a lot for me to deal with, and it’s my family.

I know it was a lot for Ferris. He separated from me, broke up with me, because he didn’t want to deal with the drama. ”

Still, she was quiet. I supposed she was waiting to see what all I had to say and if it was something she had to combat.

I was recording our conversation, because I’d be damned if she was going to lie on me and say I said or did something that I didn’t say or do.

After taking a deep breath, I continued.

“He came back to me because he said he was miserable without me. I felt the same way. I was depressed, not going anywhere and not even associating with my family. The day he came back to me at the diner, someone decided to be stupid and shoot it up. Ferris dove on top of me to protect me and ended up getting shot. Although it was a flesh wound, I know that shit still hurts. My family has been through it, and this beef with those people has been going on for decades.”

Dropping my hands to my lap, I lifted my head and stared right at her so there would be no misunderstanding about how I felt.

“Missus Botley, I love Ferris. He loves me. I owe him my life. He is everything I wanted in a man. I understand your doubts about us, because it seems being with me is dangerous. There is nothing I can do about that. I won’t let him go simply because you don’t approve, but I don’t want him to be at odds with his mother either. I know what that’s like.”

Finally, she said, “You slept with two brothers. Word gets around. I don’t want him to get hurt. Him getting shot only added to it. Are you even ready for a relationship? Do you even know what love is?”

I wanted to say some choice words to her, but I was able to restrain my tongue.

“I dated Julius for over a year. I kept having a feeling he was cheating on me. His mother, who has been radio silent, called me to go to her house and catch him in the act. I went there. That was mistake number one. I shouldn’t have even gone over there.

However, I did, and I saw him in bed with another woman.

So, in retaliation, I went to his brother’s house, .

. . a brother who had been flirting with me nearly the entire time we were a couple, and slept with him. ”

“So you’re admitting it. I’m shocked.”

“Am I proud of it? No. But I’m not going to lie about it.

At the time, all I saw was rage. It was either doing that or blowing his brains out.

This was a man that I gave my time to, and he played with that shit.

I regretted what I did almost immediately, but it was obviously too late for regrets.

Does that mean I don’t deserve love? Does my reaction to what he did make me a bad person?

And why is it anyone else’s business? Ferris knows about it, and he accepted me anyway. ”

“Milana, I’m not one of those mothers who simply thinks that no one is good enough for her son. That’s not me. I just don’t want to see my son hurt. Being with you is risky, emotionally and physically. I felt like he didn’t see that because he was blinded by your beauty and probably sex.”

“No, ma’am. When Ferris came back to me, we hadn’t had sex.

So he wasn’t blinded by that. We have an intense connection, and it was that way from the first time we met.

I didn’t give him the greenlight right away, because I knew I had some issues I needed to resolve, namely my relationship with my mama.

Can we agree that we both just want what’s best for him and gradually work on our relationship? ”

She nodded. “We can do that, Milana. I respect you for coming to me to talk. It shows me how much you care about Ferris and what’s important to him. I’ll stop listening to gossip too. They made it seem like you just did that for the hell of it.”

I frowned slightly, and she lifted her hands. “You know how gossip is. It gets misconstrued every time it’s passed along. I apologize for the shady things I said. I was the one acting immaturely. As long as Ferris is happy, I will be too.”

I stood from my seat, knowing I needed to get back to Nome.

I still had to go force Ace to come with me to practice.

“Thank you. I hate to see him upset about this, although he tries to hide it. I know it’s bothering you.

It’s Wednesday, and he said he hadn’t talked to you since Sunday.

Just from being around him, I know that’s not normal. ”

She stood as well and said, “Thank you for trying to make this right.”

She grabbed my hand and gave it a slight squeeze then smiled. I smiled back and headed to the door.

“You have on your cowboy boots. You must be practicing today.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m always practicing. I have goals to crush.”

She nodded and smiled.

“Thanks for listening. See you soon,” I said as I headed to my truck.

When I got to the truck, my phone was ringing.

That shit was always ringing. Lately, there had always been something to report.

It had been quiet the past few days. My mama had gone to her first counseling session with Serita Gardner yesterday, and I was proud of her.

We talked last night, and she said she would be combining those sessions with grief counseling as well.

Looking at the phone, I saw it was my brother. “What’s up, Ryder J? You ready to get out of HJ?”

“Hell yeah. What’s up? Where you at?”

“I’m on my way back to practice. You out there?”

“Yeah. It was class trip day, but I didn’t feel like going on that shit. I’m ready to walk that stage and be done with those people. So since I didn’t go on the trip, Mama said I could stay home.”

“Oh, okay. Where were you this morning? When I woke up, you weren’t home.”

“I was at Brix’s gym,” he said. “I’m used to working out early in the day.”

“Got’chu. I’m on my way. Can you go get Ace out the house for me?”

“Yep. I’m ahead of you. I was on my way there.”

“Good. He needs to socialize that shit away.”

“Yep. I ain’t neva seen that nigga all depressed over a woman. He was always the stick and move type.”

I rolled my eyes. Ace was horrible out in them streets. His ass had community dick for sure. That shit was statewide. So this was crazy as hell. “A’ight, bruh. See you in a few minutes. Don’t take no for an answer.”

“I won’t.”

He ended the call, and I immediately called Ferris. When he answered the phone, he immediately went in. “You went to talk to my mama, Lana? What would possess you to do that?”

I chuckled. “I want you to be good, baby. I can see that shit is bothering you. So whatever I need to do to make you whole again, I’ll do. Our talk went well.”

“So I heard. Thank you, baby. That’s why I love you.”

“Mm-hmm. Love you too. Are you working hard?”

“Hell yeah. I guess they said I had too many days off last week. A nigga swamped. I was just taking a lunch break so I could call and talk to you. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I’ll have to come over for one of those lunch breaks to feed you lunch.”

“I bet,” he said and chuckled. “Your brother’s graduation party is this weekend, right?”

“Yep. I’m so proud of him.”

“I know you are. Well, I need to get back to work. Call me when you’re done with practice.”

“I will. I love you, baby.”

“Love you more.”

When I stopped at the traffic signal in China, I got slightly nervous.

I believed we’d all been a little jumpy since everything that went down.

Those people lived in China, not to mention, this was where my grandfather got attacked.

The Dollar General was right off the highway.

The flower display was still there, marking the spot where he was assaulted.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go to that store for a long time or any Dollar General for that matter.

Heading to the practice arena, I noticed a lot of cars.

I frowned slightly. I wasn’t sure what was going on.

I hurriedly grabbed my bag with my gear and made my way to the dirt to see people everywhere.

When I walked in, everyone started cheering and applauding. My eyebrows lifted. They here for me?