Page 40 of Call Me Yours (Lodestar Ranch #4)

STEVEN

What the hell was an endive? I soaped my hands at the kitchen sink, my attention diverted by the chart stuck to the refrigerator by a magnet and the sonogram photo next to it.

It had been a week since the sonogram, but I still felt a shiver of awe when I looked at the baby Chloe was growing inside her.

“Hey.” Chloe strolled into the kitchen, dropped a kiss on the back of my neck, and unlocked the fridge.

“What are you still doing home?” I glanced at the microwave clock to verify the time. I had spent more time than I intended to out back on a special project. “Shouldn’t you be at the library for your sewing circle now?”

“Not going,” Chloe mumbled, her head in the fridge, her hips pushed back.

I dried my hands on the towel and swatted her ass, because it was there and I couldn’t help myself. She smirked at me over her shoulder.

“If you’re hungry, I can make you something,” I offered. “Are you feeling okay?” Chloe never missed a sewing circle, not even during the first trimester when she was throwing up breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

“I’m okay, I just want a little snack.” She closed the fridge and waved the container of hummus and bag of baby carrots—because according to Chloe, the vibes were off on full-sized carrots.

I was morally opposed to baby carrots on the grounds that they were a marketing scam, but Chloe could squish my morals into whatever shape she wanted.

“Why aren’t you with your friends?” I asked again.

She pried the lid off the hummus. “Because I’m not sure if I have any friends left and I’m scared to find out.”

“Wait, what?” I scanned her face. I knew how much Chloe’s friends meant to her. “What happened?”

The look she gave me suggested she harbored doubts about my intelligence. “ You happened, Steven. I don’t know if you realize this, but my friends are not your biggest fans.”

She took her snack to the table and sat down cross-legged. I followed her like a dog on a leash. “But you’ve been living here with me for four months. What’s different now?”

“We’re different. It’s one thing for me to live here temporarily because my only other choices are living with my parents or homelessness. It’s another thing entirely to live here permanently because I’m head-over-heels in love with you.”

“You’re head-over-heels in love with me?” I couldn’t stop a goofy-ass grin from spreading across my face.

“Yes. Which is wonderful but also does not bode well for my friendships.” She dragged a carrot through the hummus and popped it into her mouth with a loud crunch.

Her embroidered shoes laying by the back door taunted me. I felt sick. “I never asked you to choose.”

She stopped chewing and took a large gulp of water.

“I know you didn’t. Neither did James. What difference does that make?

I still have two people I dearly love who cannot be in the same room together, and that means I have to make a choice.

” Her face was soft when she looked at me.

“I’m choosing you, Steven. I hope that doesn’t cost me my friends.

But if it does…” She swallowed hard, heartbreak all over her pretty face. “I still choose you.”

“That’s not fair.” I wrapped my hands around the edge of the table hard enough to leave a mark across my palms. “I’m the one who screwed up. Not you.”

“Who told you life was supposed to be fair? Because I never got that memo,” she mocked. But then she reached across the table and wiggled my fingers loose one by one. “I’m not giving up on my friends. I’ll talk to James and try to work it out.”

I didn’t know what to say. Sorry I purposefully spooked your best friend’s horse and got her bucked off with bruised ribs wouldn’t cut it.

Chloe unfolded her legs and pushed to her feet. “I told Amy I’d help her study after I ate something.” She rounded the table and dropped a kiss on my upturned face. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll take care of it.”

Because that was what Chloe did. She took care of the hard parts. The messy parts. The parts no one else wanted to deal with.

Jesus fucking Christ. I was no better than her parents, letting her take care of things because it was easier, because she could. Why hadn’t it occurred to me that Chloe would be the one to pay the price for my mistake?

I had never once tried to apologize to James. I had decided it would be better for both of us to pretend we didn’t live in the same town and know the same people, so that’s what I did. Because I knew she couldn’t forgive me, so why bother trying? It was impossible.

The truth was, I simply didn’t want to. Not because I wasn’t sorry; I was so fucking sorry. But the broken little boy in me couldn’t tolerate the idea of saying it out loud and hearing that it wasn’t enough. That nothing I did would ever be enough.

Maybe that was true. Maybe nothing I did would ever be good enough to earn James’s forgiveness.

But I could live with that, as long as Chloe wasn’t punished for it.

And her son…hell. I knew what it was like to not be loved.

Chloe’s son could have the opposite of that.

There were so many people in her life ready to love this kid.

I sure as fuck was not going to ruin that for him before he even took his first breath.

He mattered so much more than protecting my own hurt feelings. Chloe mattered more. I refused to protect myself at their expense.

I mean, Christ. I hadn’t even fucking tried .

I shot off a text before I could think better of it.

Then I grabbed my keys.

The sign hanging above the gravel road said Welcome to Lodestar Ranch .

The three large men standing side-by-side directly underneath, blocking my path to the ranch, said The fuck you are .

I probably should have gotten my affairs in order before driving out here like I had a death wish.

Finished the project out back, drawn up care and feeding instructions for Stevie and her friends, taught Amy how to actually use that dang car battery charger I got her.

Definitely should have fucked Chloe one last time. Give her something to remember me by.

Oh, well. It was too late for all that now. I was here. The Hale brothers were here. Time to get it over with.

No one said a word as I killed the engine and got out. It felt like even the mountains were holding their breath.

I made it a whole two steps before Adam drove his fist straight into my gut. I keeled over and dry heaved.

“I owed you that,” he informed me.

“Fair,” I gasped out, remembering the sucker punch I had landed after he broke my nose.

“Dammit, Adam.” Brax pinched the bridge of his nose. “I told you to let him throw the first punch.”

“You only said that because you knew he wouldn’t,” Adam said. “I’m not waiting around for something that is never going to happen.”

“Me, either,” Zack said and the next thing I knew, his fist connected with my jaw.

The force of it sent me rocking back a couple steps, windmilling my arms for balance like a jackass before I righted myself.

“Jesus, Zack. What did I ever do to you?” I touched my tongue to the corner of my mouth and tasted blood. I spat on the ground and glared at him. “Feel better now?”

“Not particularly.” Zack flexed his hand, frowning. “That’s going to leave a mark. Not sure bruised knuckles are worth hitting a man who won’t fight back. Less fun than I thought it would be, truthfully.”

“Damn shame you couldn’t have had that epiphany before you punched my face,” I muttered. “I thought we were friends. We were on the circuit together.”

“You’re mistaken.” Zack Hale had the reputation of being a happy-go-lucky, always-down-for-a-good-time kind of guy, but the way he looked at me now with no trace of humor in his expression made me take note. “I’m not a friend to any man who hurts women.”

Damn . His words hit harder than his fist. I flinched and rubbed at the sudden tight feeling in my chest. “That’s why I’m here. I didn’t hurt her on purpose, but I do owe her an apology.” I looked to Adam. “If you could tell her I’m here, I’d be obliged.”

Adam snorted. “Not going to happen. So how about you get on back in your truck and get the hell off our property?”

It wasn’t like I had thought this would be easy.

But shit, I really hoped I at least survived it.

“No,” I said.

Three sets of identical blue eyes regarded me with stunned disbelief.

“I could hit him again,” Zack volunteered. “It might be more fun this time.”

Brax scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck.”

Adam stepped forward, the look on his face downright menacing. “You have a lot of fucking nerve, McAllister.”

I put my hands up. “I’m not going to fight you. Chloe would kill me. All I’m asking is that you tell James I’m here to talk. If she wants me gone, I’ll get gone and never bother any of you again. You have my word on that?—”

Adam snorted. “Your word isn’t worth shit.”

My temper went off like a rocket. “Fuck you, Adam,” I spat. “I did something terrible, but that doesn’t mean everything I do is terrible. I never broke a promise to you or anyone else.”

“What you did to James was worse,” Brax pointed out mildly.

“Yeah, it was,” I agreed. Frustration rolled through me. “But that still isn’t everything. Are you honestly going to stand here and say you have never done anything terrible? Do you let that one terrible thing define who you are as a person?”

Brax looked like he was actually considering the question, but Adam’s eyes narrowed. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fold you into a pocket square and mail you to China.”

“Because Chloe won’t be moving to Lodestar Ranch. Not this spring. Not ever.” I looked him dead in the eyes. “She’s staying with me. For good.”

Adam let loose a stream of curse words. Zack looked ready to throw another punch. Brax shook his head.

“You don’t deserve her,” he said.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Shit, Brax, I know that. She’s way too good for me.

I’ve known that since the first moment I saw her.

I spent a long fucking time feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

But what I deserve, that doesn’t matter anymore.

Because she deserves me . She deserves a man who will show up for her every day.

A man who will show up for her son. She deserves a man who will fucking try , and when he inevitably falls short—and I know I will—he tries again and keeps right on fucking trying until he gets it right.

She deserves a man who loves her. She deserves to have everything in this whole world she wants, even if that includes a jackass like me. ”

They stared at me like I had sprouted an extra head, and that extra head happened to be particularly upsetting.

“Oh, goddammit,” Adam muttered with deep disgust. “I’m going to be pissed if we have to invite him to the picnic.”

And then he took out his phone.