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Ace

A sea of red and black moves eerily in sync, like some kind of living organism. The roar of the crowd is deafening, filling Mercedes Benz stadium with electricity.

Me and the guys came out to watch the Falcons do their thing, which, if previous seasons are any indication, is not gonna be much. But the beer is flowing and the energy is high. I should be enjoying myself.

Instead, I feel numb.

Dayton, Titus, Jovan, and Bron are hyped, fully locked into the game. I’m watching, but not really seeing. Every time I try to focus on what’s happening on the field, my thoughts drift to her.

Her name is a fucking echo in my head. Her face is behind my eyes every time I blink. And the sound of her voice is curled around my brain like a vice.

“Damn, bruh. At least pretend like you’re having fun,” Dayton says, nudging me hard enough to rock me in my seat. “You act like we dragged yo ass here at gunpoint.”

I take a few swigs of beer. “Nah. I’m good.”

Bron shakes his head. “You know how I know you lyin’? You ain’t have one nice thing to say about being in the wedding.”

Yeah, Dayton asked us all to be in it when we first got here. I didn’t know I was supposed to be excited about that shit.

“Yeah, out of all of us, you usually have the most positive shit to say.”

Dayton raises an eyebrow. “Try again, man. So we know you’re okay.”

They’re fucking with me, I know, but I conjure something anyway.

“Yeah, man. I’m looking forward to it.” I lift my beer. “Hope it works out.”

Titus shakes his head. “That was weak as hell.”

Dayton huffs out a laugh. “Just say ‘fuck you’ next time and save yourself the trouble.”

Jovan side-eyes me. “You fuckin’ up the vibe, man. Fuck is wrong with you?”

I scrub a hand down my face, exhaling hard.

“I can’t get Raya out my fuckin’ head.”

They all groan at once, a chorus of frustration.

Jovan smiles sheepishly. “My bad. I told them about the lying and shit.”

“It’s whatever,” I say with a shrug. That ain’t even the worst thing she did, so I can’t even be mad. “She’s in my brain. What am I supposed to do?”

“Fuck somebody else!” Bron yells. The family in front of us turns around to glare.

I finish the rest of my beer under their concerned stares, but when the Falcons score, it draws their eyes away from me and gives me a brief respite.

It doesn’t last long.

As soon as the extra point is good, they turn all their attention back to me.

“Bruh, what you need?” Dayton asks. “An exorcism?”

They laugh. I shoot him a look, but he ain’t entirely wrong. She’s like a demon haunting my soul.

Titus, at least, doesn’t look as amused as the others. He nods slowly as he chows down on his nachos.

“I mean…I get it,” he says.

Bron screws his face up. “Don’t validate this shit, man.”

Titus shrugs. “I’m just saying. Some women get in deep. Be embedded in your brain.”

“Then get her ass up outta there,” Jovan says, gesturing around us. “Open your eyes, man. Stadium full of bad ones.” He nods toward a group of women a few rows down. “Ain’t none of them catching your eye?”

I barely glance before shaking my head. “Not interested.”

Javon’s mouth drops open. He turns to the others. “Yall hearing this? It’s worse than I thought.”

I roll my shoulders to ease the tension settling in. “It ain’t even about that.” I signal a girl for another beer. “I’m not bringing nobody else into this shit. It ain’t fair.”

They probably think I’m talking about my mental state, and yeah, that’s part of it. But it’s also Raya and what she might do to another woman. She’s clearly the type to crash out. On me. On my date. Even herself.

I can’t take the chance.

Even broken up and at a distance, her crazy ass is still controlling my life.

“And the lying shit,” Titus says. “That’s really something you can’t get past?”

Jovan and Bron ball their faces up.

“You serious?” Jovan asks. “The bitch can’t be trusted. That’s some legit psycho shit.”

“Don’t call her a bitch,” I say before I can stop myself.

All four of them stare at me.

“Yo, you defending her?” Bron says. “Even now?”

I drink half my beer, my eyes on the field. “Just watch the game.”

And that’s the end of it. For them. For me , not even the Falcons’ victory could improve my mood.

My first love was Bianca Wilson. Took her to prom, lost my virginity, thought we’d get married. That kinda first love. I was sick when we broke up. It was amicable, both of us leaving for college, but that didn’t make it hurt less.

I didn’t even think about her as much as I’m obsessing over Raya. I hit campus and hit the ground running. This shit here…I can’t make sense of it. I don’t even love her crazy ass.

I listen to Teddy Pendergrass the whole way home. Even have to force myself to keep driving past her exit.

But I make it home.

And I’m lowkey disappointed that her car isn’t sitting in my driveway.

I had a praying grandmother. She’s gone now, but she was a devout Christian woman. I never prayed when she was alive, because she had that covered, and I still didn’t after she died. I figured she’d built up enough good will for me with the Lord.

But tonight?

I need a miracle to get out from under Raya's spell, so…

I end the evening on my knees.