Page 27

27

Raya

My lunch break isn’t really a lunch break today. Just a brief interruption to the workday. There’s no lunch, just like there was no breakfast.

I can’t eat.

My head hurts. I feel like I could throw up any minute. The kids seem more demonic today, except for Aniya, ironically enough. She actually asked me if I was okay.

I didn’t answer. Truthfully, I don’t know the answer. I just keep seeing his face, the last look he gave me, so cold and distant, like he’d already moved on.

But when he touched me, the heat was still there. He still wants me, even if he doesn’t like me anymore.

It’s okay.

I’m used to being disliked.

I stare at the screen, flexing my fingers over the keyboard, barely able to read the words. Jonetta said I could use the computer in her office, which works out, because there’s less of a chance anything can be traced back to me.

Tori’s guy came through.

Behind me, some of the other teachers laugh about something, their voices bouncing off the drawing-covered walls. The normal world keeps on spinning, but I’m not part of it anymore.

I don’t care what they’re laughing about. I don’t care about my job. I don’t care that my stomach feels like a balled-up fist.

All I care about is him.

It’s funny how he thinks this is over. Just smooth walked away like he put a period at the end of a sentence.

The thought of it sends a sick pulse through my body, a mixture of rage and need.

Fuck him.

I love him so much.

He needs space, so, okay, I’ll give him what he needs.

I pick up my phone and stare at his contact picture, the one I took at the pool in Hilton Head. God, he’s so fine. I can’t stop staring.

The temptation to call him gnaws at me, but I know better. Crying, calling, texting, none of it will help. Anything you chase in life runs away.

I'll let him think he's free.

For now.

I don’t remember driving home, but I’m in the driveway, so it must have gone well.

My whole day has been like this, a series of vignettes my brain is showing me that I can’t remember being a part of.

I think I’m dissociating.

I stop in the doorway of Daddy’s room on my way in.

His eyes are open, but he won’t look at me.

Pathetic.

I cross the threshold, dragging my fingernail along the doorframe. His mouth twitches, but he doesn’t move.

“You should be grateful,” I mutter. “I could’ve let you die.”

He looks at me, finally. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was angry.

The nerve.

My fingers twitch at my sides, itching to grab a pillow, press it down, and finish what I started.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I have something more important to do.

I grab two bottles of water from the kitchen, because I read somewhere that you can live two weeks without food, but only two days without water.

Maybe Ace dumping me for a few days won’t be so bad. I’ll be snatched when this is all over.

Upstairs, I stare at my reflection through my phone’s camera. My face is pale under the glow of my ring light. My skin looks thin. Eyes red and puffy.

I look weak.

But I hit LIVE anyway, because I need to feel seen.

“Hey, y’all,” I croon, forcing a smile. “It’s late, but I had to show y’all my new foundation.”

I hold up the bottle, surprised when my hand shakes. My voice doesn’t sound like me. It’s a little too bright, like I’m wearing a mask that’s peeling back at the edges.

“I’ve been going through it,” I admit, my voice catching. “But no matter what happens in life, we never let anybody see us without our face on.”

I finally look down at my viewer count. 198. A new high.

The comments roll in.

maxmillionz You look tired sis

monsternikkiinsrilanka Who did it?

bobsnvagine626 As soon as you say something nice about a man, they embarrass you. I saw it coming

I blink fast, refocusing, then swipe the foundation over my skin.

“Don’t y’all worry about me,” I say. “I get down, but I don’t stay down. No man can ever hurt me. Trust and believe. The only time I’m hurt is when I let myself down.”

Because that’s all this is, really. A mistake in strategy. And that’s something I can fix.

“Next time y’all see me, it will be handled,” I say. “Might even have the ring on my finger. Bet it.”

meetthegramz Delulu

boytoy6969 I’m concerned

kevinsamulzheart09 If you pull this off, bottle it and sell it

I smile into the camera. “It’s very simple, ladies. You just have to give men their space sometimes. We don’t chase, right? We give them space and wait for them to come back home. That’s it, and that’s all.”

Ace’s back door opens without a sound.

The only thing a modern smart lock can’t outsmart is an observant woman. I memorized the code the second time I saw Ace key it in.

I also know he never arms his alarm system. He thinks because he has two guns, he doesn’t need the added security. I think it’s a whole macho thing.

I also knew I needed to wait until after 1 a.m., because it takes Ace a couple of hours to enter REM sleep. He doesn’t hear the door chime when he’s in REM.

Best of all, no ring camera back here.

Inside, the condo smells just like him. I smile at the lingering trace of his cologne, closing my eyes to breathe it in, letting it settle into my lungs like oxygen. It’s fuel for me, something I need to power me through this next phase.

It will be worth it in the end.

I tiptoe up the stairs, stopping outside his bedroom door. The faint sound of his intermittent snores makes me warm all over. I wish I could spend tonight being lulled to sleep by that sound, but I can’t.

I push the door open and slip inside to find him on his back, one arm thrown over his face. The gentle glow of the moonlight casts shadows across his jawline, making him look like something that belongs in the Louvre.

I kneel beside the bed, close enough to feel his warmth, and to touch. But I don’t. Not yet.

Instead, I grab his phone. My fingers move quick, finding his messages, emails, and call logs. My heart pounds, and my breathing speeds, but I get the job done, sending what I need to my phone. Tori’s guy sent me clear instructions.

I put his phone back, then stand to watch over him like I’m his guardian angel. The steady rise and fall of his chest is hypnotic.

I lose track of time.

Even now, after unceremoniously dumping me the way he did, he’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And after everything I’ve been through, don’t I deserve to have something beautiful in my life?

I do.

It infuriates me that he doesn’t get that.

He doesn’t stir when I settle onto the bed. Doesn’t move when I slowly pull back the duvet cover and reveal his nakedness.

My mouth waters.

I have to say, I actually want to do this tonight.

My pulse flutters when I touch him, first his stomach, then his dick. Just a light touch, then I lean down and kiss him.

I exhale in relief. Just the smell of him makes me wet.

He doesn’t wake when I take him into my mouth. Not yet.

I drag my tongue along his length, slow, savoring the weight and the warmth.

He stiffens, growing in my mouth until he fills me up.

A low sound rumbles in his throat. His hips shift as his fingers twitch against the sheets.

His breathing changes.

Then he moves.

His fingers tangle in my hair, half-conscious, half-dead to the world.

“What…” his voice is hoarse and thick with sleep.

I hum around him, a low, vibrating sound that makes his whole body shudder. He groans, torn between pushing me away and giving in.

I know he’ll give in.

They always do.

I move off of him to reach into my new LV bag, removing the glove and the lube I brought with me. I roll it on quick and cover it with the slick gel, sucking him back into my mouth before he fully wakes.

His breath turns ragged when my hand slides down his balls. I swipe a lubed finger across his taint, my mouth still working, before I press it inside of him, slow and insistent.

He shudders again. Pushes at my head, trying to resist.

Then, he gasps.

I almost laugh, but I can’t with a mouth full of dick.

He’s done.

It’s a wrap.

“Raya…” his voice is groggy, his body tense as he fights the pleasure.

But I don’t stop.

I press against the tight ring of muscle while my mouth strokes him, my other hand massaging his balls. I have quite a rhythm going. He’s powerless.

“Shh,” I murmur. “Just let me.”

He grunts, then pants, but he doesn’t move.

He wants this.

I tease the spot, curling my finger like I’m calling his nut over to me, making his thighs clench and his thick length throb in my mouth. He’s so responsive to this. I knew he would love it.

“Oh, fuck—"

Yes, baby. Give me what I came for.

“Raya…fuck!”

There it is.

He crumbles, his hips rocking into the sensation. I suck stronger, tease faster, stroke harder until he breaks with a desperate, ragged groan that tells me everything I need to know.

“Mmm…” I moan along with him as he shoots ropes of hot cum into my mouth. It doesn’t stop. I can barely swallow it fast enough.

Right when I think it’s over, I feel a pulse against my finger and his body goes stiff again. No jizz with this one. Nothing but the rhythmic beat of his dick against my tongue. I know it’s mind-blowing. I can feel it.

My panties are soaked.

But tonight isn’t about me.

I remove my fingers, popping off of him with a chaste kiss. His chest heaves, eyes squeezed shut like he’s trying not to wake up from the best dream he ever had.

I slip out without a word, my steps careful, my hands clean.

By the time I slide into my car, my pulse is even. My breathing is calm. I feel like I could go for some pizza.

And I know I have nothing to worry about.

I fixed it.