Page 20 of Caelum

NINETEEN

EVE

The library was a strange room.

It was large but each wall had a door in it. Even the exterior wall led to French doors that opened onto a beautiful vista of the ocean. From my position at a central table, even though the surface was loaded down with a pile of books I’d been working on steadily, I could see everything from each angle.

North, south, east, and west.

No compass direction was safe from my beady eyes.

I knew why too.

In the morning, I’d always checked in, tried to figure out which mood I was in and had failed. Before, it hadn’t been rational. It had been more of a half-muttered prayer that I would be able to discern my ‘mood.’ But now that I knew what I was looking for, it was still impossible to discern which was in charge until they did something that answered it for me. The others seemed to have an internal monitor, whereas for me? I learned by reaction.

There were two watchful souls.

The gouille and the Sin Eater. Both watched, both protected, and both could kill. I’d never killed, of course, but I’d been reading about famous battles where the difference between life and death had been a Sin Eater’s attack.

The gouille was more patient than the Sin Eater, but both liked to monitor situations. One would stir into action, leaping to the front of the fray to whoop butt. The other? Well, she’d keep to the shadows, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

As I watched a girl flirt with Stefan, if I’d had any doubt about today’s soul, I had it confirmed then and there.

The Sin Eater was in control, and both the woman and the beast, as it were, were getting pissed off at how the girl, Becky, kept on trying to touch him.

I wasn’t sure why it irritated me, but every laugh he bestowed on her made me want to smack her. Then I felt horrible because they weren’t doing anything wrong, and it wasn’t their fault that I was acting like a crazy person.

As I gnawed on my bottom lip, staring straight ahead into a common room where Stefan was hanging out with Nestor, I shifted in my seat when someone murmured, “You should just leave them alone.”

I frowned, turning around to stare up at the intruder. “Excuse me?”

I’d seen the girl before. She hung around with Becky. Her hair was a rich, vibrant red and her face, though very pretty, was scrunched with disgust as she looked at me. As though I were too gross to behold. “They love each other and you’re just getting in their way.”

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. “What?”

“You heard me. They’ve been going out for months, and then you showed up and everything changed.” Her top lip curled in a sneer. “Seriously, just back off. You’re a freak show anyway. What the fuck would Stefan see in you? He’s going to be the Alpha head. Why would he want anything to do with you?”

The hits kept on coming as I tried to understand everything she said and ultimately failed.

“Back off, Louisa.”

The low growl had my eyes widening, and when I saw it was Reed, Frazer’s friend and Stefan’s arch-nemesis, I smiled at him, grateful that he’d interrupted Louisa’s tirade.

Louisa sniffed. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Can’t I?” He cocked a brow at her. “How about I tell Nathan about that little scene I walked in on the other day?”

She growled. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Wouldn’t I?” He just smirked at her until she released another growl, this time it was more exasperated than furious, and stalked off. When he turned to look at me, he murmured, “You should have stood up to her.”

I blinked. “What was there to stand up against? ”

“You’re so literal. I forgot that.” His lips curved. “Stefan isn’t into Becky.”

The reassurance had me frowning down at the book in my hand. I had a notepad in front of me, and I was making notes about the various things that happened in Aboh. Where the guys were heading to… I wanted to know why they were going to a small town on a delta river, and as far as I could tell, there was no reason why they should.

Reed snorted. “Trust me, I’m as surprised as you are that I’m speaking up for him, but Becky is Becky.”

“What does that mean? She’s not an adjective,” I argued.

“She’s certainly something.” Reed pulled a face. “She’s popular with the guys. Let’s just say that.”

“I thought slut-shaming wasn’t allowed.”

He whistled under his breath. “See? So you can stick up for yourself.”

Confused, I gnawed on my bottom lip. “I can with guys.”

“Not with girls?” he questioned then hummed under his breath. “You don’t hang out with them enough to be accustomed to their bitchy ways.”

I thought about that a second and shook my head. “Had no alternative but to be around women where I’m from.”

“And did you like that?”

“No.” I snorted. “Just because they were pious, didn’t mean they weren’t cows too.”

He laughed at that then told me, “I wasn’t shaming Becky. Just trying to explain the difference between you and her, that’s all.”

“You were doing a bad job of it then.”

Reed grinned. “Burn.”

I frowned at that, wondering what his statement had to do with our conversation. “Is there a reason you’re here?”

“Apart from saving you from bitchy females?” He shook his head. “Nope.” Then he cut a look at Stefan and Becky who, irritatingly enough, had moved closer to Stefan. “You should put a stop to that. Stake a claim.”

“What kind of a claim? A friendship one? Surely people have seen me hanging out with the guys enough to realize we’re friends?—”

“Duh,” he grumbled. “I meant a different kind of claim. You obviously have the hots for him. You should take the bull by the balls and make sure Becky knows there’s no room for her where Stefan is concerned.”

“I understood about half of that,” I said on a deep sigh. Then my nose crinkled. “Why would I want to touch a bull’s balls?”

“Metaphor.” He tapped his temple. “Don’t tell me your printer-like memory doesn’t know what it is. ”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?”

Reed chuckled. “Bit of both? That has to come in handy.”

“I suppose.” I wasn’t sure whether it was a blessing or a curse. Of course, the good things were great to remember, but so were the bad, in a way, because they were a reminder I needed. And it wasn’t like I could just remember things that were to do with books or literature. Most bad memories? They were at the forefront of my mind in any given situation.

The faculty and my friends were insistent that I was safe here, for example. That this was my new home. It would be easy to forget. Too easy. But because I didn’t, couldn’t , I knew that all of this was temporary.

And yes, it hurt.

It hurt so badly that it was worse than the stitch I sometimes got in the gym.

Reed cut me a look, then, as he glanced over at Stefan and Becky who had, yet again, moved closer to him, advised, “In this world, if you don’t take, you don’t get. Trust me on that.” He smiled at me, and though it was a beautiful smile, there was something in its depths that reminded me he was a Hell Hound.

No matter what soul was in control today, the Hell Hound was in charge.

It surprised me to recognize that I wasn’t frightened of him. I had expected I would be, but I wasn’t. I could sense the heat simmering away under the surface, but it didn’t scare me.

If anything, it warmed me. Like it was a cold day outside and he was a fire in the hearth set to burn the chill away.

That notion, more than what he made me feel, put me on edge. “What do you want from me, Reed?” It was an intense question, but it was a surprisingly intense moment.

He hadn’t just come here to warn Louisa off.

Was it because of my conversation with Frazer the other day?

I wasn’t about to complain or to knock the chance to make new friends, but neither was I going to put Stefan, Nestor, Eren, or even Dre, the jerk, in danger. That might have sounded extreme, but there was danger here.

I recognized that just as much as I recognized the fact I wasn’t frightened of him.

The latter was because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.

My friends?

I didn’t have that assurance.

“Just to be friends,” he answered simply, but I didn’t trust him. Didn’t trust that banked heat that was, once again, warming me from the inside out. He tilted his head and turned away from me, toward the wall of windows and the door that led to the extended patio. “Do you ever wish you were back at the compound?”

“There’s no point in wishing,” I said sharply then, softening my tone, mumbled, “And if there was a point, I wouldn’t waste it on going back there.”

“No? What would you wish for… if you believed in them,” he conceded.

“To understand this world better. To know why people say the things they do.”

“Give it time. We’ve been around for close to two decades—half in and half out of the outside world. You haven’t.” His smile was gentle, sympathetic . “And in between then and now, I’ll help whenever I can. If you need a slang tutor, that is.”

His grin was contagious, and I found myself sharing one with him. Because his words had helped me relax, I found myself strangely curious as I asked, “What would you wish for?”

“It’s a stupid wish,” he stated drily.

“So? And mine isn’t? Learning a language that’s already my own?”

His mouth quirked to the right, and a dimple popped up. “When I was twelve, my mum took me to the Gold Coast. I’d just had my first real attack with my souls. They’d diagnosed me as schizophrenic, but she wouldn’t believe it. She refused. Said I needed some R&R, rest and relaxation,” he clarified when I stared at him blankly. “I love surfing. I’m a stereotypical Australian in that, and she took me to Coolangatta Beach for a week.” He whistled under his breath. “I loved it. It was great to get away from my dad—they’d started arguing a lot. Stress from my diagnosis, I figure.

“Anyway, we went there, and my souls behaved for once. I think it’s because I was free. I was out on the water as much as I could be and only came in for food and to sleep.

“She bought me a key ring,” he said with a smile. “It was only a crappy little thing. A picture of the beach in a plastic case on one side, a picture of me and her on the back.” He shrugged. “Took it with me everywhere, though. Even surfing as I got older. Put it in this little plastic pocket thing I’d wear around my neck. Got caught in a bad riptide, though, a year before I came here. Lost it. Lost the key ring. I wish I had that back.”

Surprised by the story, and surprised even more by the sentiment behind it, I asked, “To remind you of the beach?”

He shook his head. “To remind me of my mum that weekend. She died a few days later. ”

My mouth dropped open. “What? How?”

Reed turned away from me, his gaze dropping to his hands. “When we got in the car to go home, my Hell Hound was in control. I didn’t know it back then, of course, but now I recognize the signs. I had a tantrum. Didn’t want to go back home to where I was confined. I-I threw something at her as we were getting into the car. Thought nothing of it, to be honest. She was used to that—I was a little bastard,” he admitted with a rasp, but I could see from the shaking of his hands the tension he was under. “She set off, we got to a good speed, but the toy I’d thrown at her had lodged itself under the brakes.”

“You crashed?”

“Headfirst,” he confirmed. “I almost died myself. When I found out what happened, I wished I had. A few weeks later, dad dumped me in a facility and I barely ever saw him again before I came here. He blamed me, and…” He released a breath. “He was right to.”

I reached out, my hand covering his. “I’m so sorry, Reed.”

“Not your fault.” He shook his head in dismissal, but his hand turned and twined itself around mine. “I didn’t mean to get gloomy.”

No, he hadn’t. I could see that. He hadn’t spoken of his past to make me feel sorry for him. I could see that he hadn’t intended on discussing this at all! How? His cheeks were a blotchy color. Like his skin couldn’t decide on whether he should be pale from sorrow or bright pink from mortification.

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’d best go to the gym. You be sure to stand up to these bitches, yeah? There aren’t many females around, so they tend to get their own way too much. Don’t let them push you over or stir the shit.”

Before I could say another word, he was gone, but I was left thinking of what he’d told me.

When I turned back and looked over at Stefan, I saw Becky had gone but he was glowering at me. Well aware he’d seen me talking to Reed, I just shrugged and called out, “Free world.”

When he grumbled under his breath, I had to smirk.

Free will in a free world rocked.