Page 214 of By A Thread

Not that I regret that part of it.

But I did you a disservice, Ally. I gave you things. But I didn’t share. I forced your secrets into the open, while refusing to tell mine. It was never an even exchange. You always gave more.

And for that, and so many other things, I’m sorry.

Love,

Dom

* * *

To: Ally

From: Dominic

Subject: Getting to know me

I can’t stand the smell of hummus. It makes me gag.

Love,

Dom

* * *

To: Ally

From: Dominic

Subject: Getting to know me

Adding to the hate list.

I hate not knowing what’s going on in your life, in your day. Instead of knowing how your dance class went or what you had for lunch or even where you’re working now, my knowledge of you is limited to the fact that I lost the right to know anything new.

I hate that your birthday is coming up and I don’t have any right to be a part of it.

I hate that you’re not here to ask me how far I am in Pride and Prejudice. I finished it by the way and then watched one of the movies.

I hate not being able to ask you who your favorite onscreen Mr. Darcy is.

I hate that I ruined us just as you were fixing me. I’m doing something good. Really good here. Mom too. And it would never have happened if it weren’t for you. I hate that I can’t share it with you.

I hate that I let old bad ruin new good.

I hate finding pieces of you around the house. They remind me that not only will you not be walking through the door, but I’m the reason you won’t.

I hate that $50 you send me every week. And I know that’s why you’re sending it. I don’t want your money. I just want you. And I hate that that’s how you felt about me and I didn’t see it.

Love,

Dom

* * *

To: Ally

From: Dominic