Page 94 of Burn Bright (Cobalt Empire #1)

I rub at my wet jaw, releasing a long breath. Peace is cresting the edge of the horizon. I’m fighting to go there. “You kick your friend to the curb?”

“Yeah. With a little help from my best friend.”

I shut my eyes. Tears slip out of the creases. Stop fucking crying. Please stop. I want to stop.

Very softly, she says, “You need help, Friend?”

I nod. “Yeah,” I rasp out. “Read to me. Just read to me.”

And so she does. Science jargon goes in one ear and out the other, but I listen to her voice. I stop thinking about everything that happened. I stop fixating on my washing machine of thoughts. I just listen to Harriet. And I breathe and breathe.

“ H e’s strangely calm now. It’s kind of freaking me out.” I hear Tom whispering to Eliot in the seat in front of me.

Eliot rotates to inspect me.

I say nothing. Tears have dried. I’m numb.

“He’s in shock,” Eliot guesses.

Beckett has been monitoring Audrey’s pulse. He still has her in his arms, her legs splayed on Eliot’s lap. She peeks back at me.

“I feel…rather good now, you know?” She’s clammy.

I nod. “I’m glad, Audrey. You still need to get checked out though.” We’re on the way to the hospital.

“Oui.” She rests an emotional, tear-stricken smile on the cardboard box. “Where would they be without you? Terrifying, really.” Her chin quakes before she mouths the word, thank you.

I did nothing to help her. I just called our brothers.

“Je t'aime comme les arbres aiment la terre, ma petite s?ur,” I murmur from the depth of my soul. I love you like the trees love the earth, my little sister. “Toujours.” Always.

“Toujours,” she repeats. “Et je t’aime comme les étoiles aiment la nuit, mon frère préféré.” And I love you like the stars love the night, my favorite brother.

Eliot gasps. “Am I not your favorite?”

Laughter ensues, along with more banter, and I cradle the sounds against my ears.

I love my family. I will always love them, which is why I know now that I have to leave.

Very soon. This is going to be the hardest thing I ever do in my life, but I never should’ve considered staying. And I’ve delayed it for too long.

I should’ve stuck to the original timeline. Then this would’ve never happened tonight. If I left New York weeks ago, Audrey would’ve never taken that pill. Hell, if I never came to the city after Beckett asked me, this could’ve all been avoided.

We arrive at Metropolitan Medical. It’s the closest to MVU. Audrey is admitted. Our parents were already headed to New York when they realized Audrey snuck out. So they rerouted to the hospital when my brothers informed them of tonight’s disaster.

Now they’re here. My mom’s heels clip-clapping across the hospital floors like she’s setting them on fire. My dad’s calming hand in hers. I don’t speak long to either of them. I tell them I’m okay when they ask. They should be focused on Audrey.

Neither one blames me. They reinforce, “This is not your fault.”

“Ben?” My father’s steadfast blue eyes search mine. We’re in the hallway near Fizzle vending machines. Security is hovering to where we receive only a few glances from nurses and doctors. “Can you talk to me?”

“What is there to say?” My throat is torched. It hurts to speak, but I’m trying. “My frat gave Audrey fentanyl. ”

Yeah, the doctors figured out the drug in her system.

She could’ve so easily died tonight if Beckett didn’t have Narcan in his car.

I am one small move away from killing one of my siblings.

That’s what it feels like. Not to mention, her ankle is sprained.

She made the varsity cheer team, so she’ll be sitting out until her foot heals.

I tell him, “I’m upset. I’m angry. I wish I could take it back with everything in my body, but I can’t. All I want to do is move on.”

“Okay,” he nods, examining me with deeper concerns. “Where’s Harriet?”

“Asleep. I told her not to worry—that I’ll see her later.”

“When you get home?”

I tighten my eyes closed as my head hammers.

“No, um.” I rub at my eyes and shake my head harder.

“She has an essay she planned to write, and I can’t be the reason her GPA drops.

I’ll probably go back to the apartment and pass out anyway.

” That’s what I told Harriet too. She said she doesn’t care about her grades as much as she cares about me, but I care.

I can’t be the dynamite imploding her goals.

“After that, I’ll see her. So it’ll probably be later tonight. ”

It's two a.m.—technically already Saturday.

“Can you do something for me?” he asks, drawing my gaze back to his.

“What exactly?” I ask so I don’t make a promise I can’t keep.

“Go see Ryke. As soon as you can. Or have him meet you.”

I nod a lot, even if there is pain in my neck, in my whole body. “Yeah, I can do that.” He sees I’m telling the truth, and he relaxes. I relax too.

I call Jane. I ask if she’ll meet me in Philly at her billiards bar. “I know it’ll be late, or early.” By the time I get there, I think it’ll be four a.m.? Five? “But I have some cats?—”

“I’ll be there, Pippy.”

I plan to go alone.

But Charlie and Beckett hop in the car. My bodyguard is driving, and I don’t waste time arguing with my older brothers. When we arrive at The Independent, I’m about to step out of the SUV.

I turn and ask, “The cat…the seventh one I couldn’t find. He was dead, wasn’t he?”

Beckett is barely breathing. He looks to Charlie. But it’s enough of an answer if Beckett is afraid to tell me the truth.

I nod, about to leave with the beer box.

Charlie reaches across Beckett and snatches the back of my shirt, forcing my ass on the seat.

“Fuck. Charlie .” I glare since I jostle the kittens.

“You aren’t going to cry?” he asks me. “A cat is dead . It died. It is gone. It’s not coming back.”

“Charlie,” Beckett says quietly. “Stop.”

“Stop what?” Charlie motions to me. “It’s not affecting him.” He looks unsettled by me.

“I thought you hated when I cried,” I shoot back.

“I find it overly emotional. Which you are.”

“Is that not what I’ve been all fucking night?” I retort. “Maybe I’m just done?”

Charlie is grimacing. Tugging his hair. “Fuck,” he curses under his breath. He whispers something to Beckett I can’t hear.

I should’ve gotten the kittens out of there on day one. I chose the wrong path. Made the wrong decision. I won’t make another one. It’s what I hang on to. “It’ll be okay,” I tell them.

Beckett steeples his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “Ben. We should really talk about tonight. What happened with Audrey?—”

“Yeah, it was awful,” I cut in. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Charlie is making weird fucking faces at me. He’s staring at me like he’s smashing his head into a brick wall. All this time, I thought he saw me as translucent. Too easy to read.

I shake my head a little, then say, “Thank you both for being there tonight. I’m glad you were with me. I’m glad you were adamant about coming along.” I make sure he specifically knows I’m talking about him too. “Thanks, Charlie. And I don’t hate you either.”

I’m about to exit the car again.

Charlie grabs my shoulder one more time. “The seven kittens—you do know they’re not a metaphorical representation of the seven of us?”

My brows scrunch. “What? Why would I think that?” Now he’s confusing me. One kitten didn’t survive, so what…now one of us is going to die? That sounds ridiculous to me. “I don’t believe in fate, Charlie.”

“Then what do you believe in?”

“Consequences.”