Page 74 of Burn Bright (Cobalt Empire #1)

BEN COBALT

I t’s always been easy to explain my relationship to Winona Meadows to other people.

She is my cousin.

She was my best friend.

But how do I explain the girl in front of me?

Vada Lauren Abbey is not blood related to me, but she’s related to the Hales and the Meadows.

We grew up together. Almost every family function—she was there.

But she’s been more my little sister’s friend than she’s ever been mine.

And I didn’t start the night thinking I’d see her here.

I didn’t start the month thinking I’d cross paths with Vada, since she’s supposed to be at a boarding school in Upstate New York.

So when I found her standing next to Xander and Easton, I thought I was seeing a mirage. A figment of my imagination. Because there was no way on this planet Earth that Vada came to a Halloween party filled with college students without Winona by her side.

The fact that she was tagging along with Easton had me seeing fucking red. Did he invite her here? To a college party? Is he out of his mind?

I didn’t start shit with him and cause a scene. The temptation was real, but I’m Harriet’s plus-one. It’ll destroy me if I’m the reason she gets rejected.

So I pulled Vada away. Found a quiet corner where we could talk. We currently stand between a bookshelf and a window, the thick velvet drapes drawn shut.

“You shouldn’t be here right now.” My voice is a low, angry whisper. “You’re seventeen .”

She glowers. “What are you my dad now, Ben?”

“No, I’m your friend.”

“Wow, wow. ” Her aquamarine eyes widen like I’ve been huffing glue.

“Some friend you are. You’re never even around.

You don’t call. You don’t check-in. I don’t know what we are, but we’re not friends .

” Hurt pinches her face. Loose strands from her braid touch her lashes, annoying her enough that she starts redoing her entire hair.

Taking out the dark sandy pieces. Starting the braid over.

She has road rash on her forearms. From falling off a dirt bike. She’s a BMX racer, but she’s been trying out motocross, apparently.

For months. I had no clue.

If I were her friend, maybe I would’ve. So yeah, she’s right.

I skate a hand through my hair, my chest rising and falling. It shouldn’t be this painful, but I’m trying not to leave shattered pieces behind. I want everyone happy and whole and this…this is so far from that.

“Does your dad know you’re here?” I question.

She snaps the hair-tie at the end of her braid. “Does your dad know you don’t have a bodyguard on you right now?”

I hate that it’s obvious to her Novak isn’t with me. That there’s not a lingering presence ten feet from my body. It was easy telling Novak that I had no plans for Halloween. The lie should be hard on me, but it’s not when Novak betrayed me first.

Since I’m taller than Vada, I keep having to glance down.

I hate it. She’s wearing some sort of droopy, thin-strapped top with a pushup bra, and it’s impossible to avoid glancing at her cleavage.

I keep hearing Eliot’s voice in my head.

I’d been a teenager when I overheard him talking to Tom.

“You think Ben and Vada will ever hook up?” Eliot asked conversationally because forbidden gates for him are challenges meant to be unlocked and traversed through.

“They’re close in age, no blood relation. ”

I didn’t even hear Tom’s response. I walked away quickly, my face on fire. Before that day, I had never thought about Vada in that way . But after that…it sits in the forefront. That maybe other people in the family have been thinking it. Maybe she has.

I’ve never asked.

I don’t want to know.

Since she answered my question with a question, I decide to keep the trend going. “Did Easton or Xander invite you here?”

She looks pissed.

Vada isn’t usually hotheaded. Winona is the firecracker. But Vada—she’s a ball-busting, loyal friend who will take the heat but never start it. Our family says Winona is the one who leads, Vada follows, and from my perspective, that is true.

It’s also been true that Winona has always followed me, and I stopped letting her. Honestly, I didn’t consider what that meant for Vada. How she’d be affected, but I should’ve. It’s just another domino I’ve struck down. Another person I’ve hurt.

I try a new question. “Are you Easton’s date?”

Blush ascends her cheeks, but I can’t tell if it’s from embarrassment, bashfulness, or ire. “Why do you care?”

I nip this really fast. “I’m not jealous of him,” I state flat-out, point-blank. “Easton or Xander—whoever brought you here—should not have. You’re a high schooler.”

“You were in high school not that long ago. Why are you acting like you’re so much older?”

I grind my jaw. Because I am , I want to say.

Because Winona, Vada, Kinney, and Audrey are young. And I don’t just mean their ages. They are the youngest of our families. We’ve all sheltered them in different ways.

I’ve loved that Winona sought after it. Reveled in it. Felt freer under the protection our families gave. I’ve wished my little sister felt the same, but she’s counting down to eighteen like every year beforehand is a ball and chain.

I don’t know what Vada hopes for. But I’m trying not to patronize her. She’s gone through shit I wasn’t around for, but I still don’t know why she’s here. It puts me on edge.

“So it was Xander?” I ask her.

Her reddened cheeks give her away. It was Easton.

I nod a couple times.

“I’m friends with Easton,” she says with visceral heat. “ Actual friends. The kind that call and make sure we’re not dead.”

Confusion draws my brows together. “When did you get so angry?”

“You think you’re the only one who gets to be mad? I didn’t have the luxury of expelling my rage on Tate’s cunty face.” She steps back in hurt, and I grab her wrist before she can bolt.

Her shoulders slacken, and she waits for me to speak.

“I’m sorry, Vada,” I say. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll say it a thousand times until it means something to you. I shouldn’t have gone radio silent last year and left you and Winona to deal with those assholes.”

She breathes heavily. It takes her a minute to reply. “They’re cunts,” she mutters. “Not assholes. That’s way too nice.”

“Yeah, I’d call them that, but you’ve pretty much trademarked that swear word in the family.”

She stares down at her Converse shoes, still upset.

So I ask, “How’s boarding school?”

Her eyes well as if she’s surprised and grateful for the question.

“Better, I think,” she says more softly. “But our school is right next door to Faust, and those guys are next-level egomaniacs. Very dickish. I cannot believe your dad went there.”

My brows rise like seriously. Her lips lift into a small smile the same time as mine do.

“Fine,” she sighs, “that sounds just like him.”

I nod more heartily.

She stares at her sneakers again, then scuffs the corner of the rug and sighs out heavier. “Okay, I have a confession to make.” Vada can’t meet my eyes. I’ve known her to be shy at times. So this isn’t that odd.

If she were Harriet, I would say, eyes up here, Friend. I’d probably tilt her chin up, maybe even hold her cheek. There are signals I never want to send to Vada, and I overthink my interactions with her to where I end up doing nothing.

“Easton told me about the Halloween party and said how he heard you were invited too. The next day, I asked him if I could be his plus-one.”

“You invited yourself,” I realize. “Why would you…did Winona?—”

“I’m not here on Winona’s behalf. She’ll be upset I snuck out without her, but she’ll understand why I did.”

“Why?”

“Audrey wanted me to. I’m here for her.”

Jesus. I rub hard at my temple. “You’re spying on me for my little sister?”

“She just wanted to know if you had a ‘tragic demeanor’ or whatever. If you still seem happy in New York. I’m supposed to relay that back to her.”

“Yeah, and what will you be relaying?”

“That you’re more pissed off I’m here.”

“Perfect.” I run my fingers through my hair again. “Maybe she won’t get any ideas.”

Vada chokes out a laugh. “This was her idea. She has the wildest plans.” She smiles afterward.

The tiny gap between her two front teeth caused a lot of teasing when she was younger.

Winona used to get in fights with guys over it.

To which I would bail her out of and do my best not to throw a punch at those pricks.

It hits me, though, that the first smile I’ve seen from Vada is for her best friend.

She peeks back at the doorway. “Xander’s bodyguard saw me, and I’m positive your snitchy security team will be ratting me out to my parents any minute. I’ll be grounded for eternity, so this party is now my funeral. Here lies Vada Abbey, girl who died trying to check on Ben Cobalt.”

“For Audrey Cobalt,” I add.

“Of course for Audrey. She’s one of my best friends.” She drags her gaze to the fireplace where a strand of purple and orange lights blink. Her face is baking. “But I probably messed everything up with Easton.”

I frown. “How?”

She presses her fingers to her mouth, unsure if she wants to tell me.

“Do I want to know?”

“I’ve been hooking up with him—when he was a senior at Dalton.”

I stare hard at her. “Yeah, I didn’t want to know that. Thanks, Vada.”

“Well, the benefits part of our friendship has been over for a while . That asshole won’t do anything with me while he’s in college and I’m still in high school.

” That actually makes me like Easton a fraction more.

“Now everything is too complicated with him. Made more complicated after tonight.” She winces.

“I constantly choose my friends over what’s in my best interest. So yay me. ”

It’s not computing. “What made it more complicated?”

“He knows that I used his invite for the purpose of finding you .”

Oh this is now making too much sense. Easton has been like a Brillo pad rubbing against my face because he thinks I have a “thing” with Vada. “I will be telling him I’m not into you as soon as I see him. You should do the same.”

Her face is bright red, but she nods repeatedly, then we go toward the exit together.

At the doorway, she says, “I know I’ve texted you an embarrassing number of times, but you really should talk to Winona.

She hasn’t been the same without you in her life.

You’re the OG sunshine boy, and she’s needed your light more than ever. Without you, it’s just darker.”

I always thought Eliot was the one who leaves an unbearable shadow in his wake.

I’m now more afraid that it’s actually been me.