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7

B ully

That Weekend

From Tuesday to Friday, I stopped by and saw my girls every morning. Innvy would roll her eyes and rush me out, but I saw her smile when she didn’t think I was paying any attention. I always brought her and baby girl something because I didn’t feel comfortable showing up empty handed. I knew gifts wouldn’t make up for my absence, but giving them something made me feel like I was offering more than my presence until it was enough.

Innah was my heart in human form. She was my joy. My princess. Such a happy baby. Innvy and our tribe had been doing well with her, and I was grateful for my brothers stepping in while I had to be away. Her room had a princess theme, so I’d been bringing something new for the room or her some princess themed clothes every day.

For Innvy, it was always Starbucks, flowers, and a card with a handwritten note that expressed my gratitude for her giving me the chance to see my princess even with things being up in the air with us. I told her if she didn’t want me after the talk that I’d leave her alone but that was a lie. The first one I’d ever told her, and I was sure it would be the last too.

I was supposed to meet up with the crew tonight, so I needed me and Innvy to make progress today. I needed the time away to be worth it. I needed to be able to look them in the eyes the with confidence that came from knowing I hadn’t destroyed my family.

As I left the house, I shot Innvy a text to confirm she was still good with us talking. I knew she wanted to talk at my parents’ house, but I didn’t want them there as a buffer. Pops would want to protect her from me and Ma would want her to forgive and forget.

When my phone vibrated, I paused starting the car to see if it was her.

My Wife: Yeah tonight is still fine.

Me: Can I meet you at your place after you drop baby girl off? Or for dinner somewhere?

My Wife: Don’t push it ??

Me: ??You gotta eat. Can I at least bring something?

Her dots bounced around for a while before she finally agreed. Innvy was a foodie. A good meal with good company was comfort for her. If I could feed her, that would automatically relax her for our conversation.

I could say even with her being distant we’d made progress this past week. We agreed to me spending time with Innah with her and our parents for the next couple of weeks just to make sure our princess was comfortable with me. She was still in that clingy stage and preferred her mother and people she was comfortable with, but when I had her, she was always in good spirits. I didn’t want to be cocky and think if I had her alone for hours it would stay that way, so I was cool with being with her around others while we continued to learn each other’s temperament.

She was a goofy little baby and loved to laugh. Innah could roll around and sit upright. She could say Ma, bye, and other one syllable words. When she couldn’t outright ask for something, she pointed and babbled until you figured it out. If you were wrong, she’d say no, and when you got it right, she would say yes and clap and cheer. It was the cutest shit I’d ever seen. I loved that little girl before she was born, but being in her presence now… all I could say was she was literally my heart in human form. I didn’t think there was a love that could mirror the love I had for Innvy, but the love I had for our daughter was certainly it.

It made me get teary eyed when I found out my parents were showing Innah pictures of me and telling her I was her daddy. That explained why she smiled when she saw me. Now, I was trying to get her to call me Daddy because her petty ass could say Ma. But she would say Ma and laugh hysterically. The closest we’d gotten was Duh and I was cool with that. At this point, I felt like she thought it was a game and wouldn’t say it even if she could because I would toss her in the air and tickle her when she said Ma.

My thoughts and affections for my girls carried me for the drive to Innvy’s favorite sushi spot. I grabbed two different kinds of sushi and the chicken katsu she used to eat once a week then took the short drive to her home. I saw her bitch ass neighbor checking his mail and chuckled. Apparently, he told her what happened between us. She was upset but he said it was his fault because he wasn’t prepared for the verbal sparring to turn physical, so he didn’t have a chance to defend himself. I respected his admission and would gladly give him the chance to square up again if he wanted to… though the end result would still be the fucking same.

I pulled into the driveway and chuckled when I noticed him lingering instead of going right inside. After cutting the car off, I grabbed the food and looked in his direction.

“Wassup?” I asked to check his temperature.

“You tell me.”

That made me smile. “All is well as long as you stay your neighborly ass away from my wife.”

He chuckled and rolled his tongue over his cheek. “She told me y’all got some shit to work out so I’m falling back, but just to let you know, if you leave again… I’m taking her and your baby.”

“Gabriel.”

The only thing that stopped me from responding was Innvy calling my name. “Bully,” I corrected, unsure why she felt the need to call me that shit in front of him. Maybe because she knew that would be the only thing sharp enough in my ears to get me to respond. Either way, I headed toward the front door. As much as I wanted to punch the cocky grin off his face, I couldn’t blame him for wanting Innvy. He’d never have her, though, and I was very firm on that. “Fuck you call me that in front of him for?” I asked with a frown as I stepped inside.

She chuckled as she locked the door. “That’s your name ain’t it?”

“Nah. You call me Bully or bae. Matter fact, just call me bae.”

“Whatever, Bully.”

“Wassup with you and him? You fuck him?”

Innvy’s eyes rolled as she smiled. “So what if I did?”

I shoved the food in her chest and turned to go back outside, but she grabbed my arm as her laughter floated in the air.

“Get back in here, crazy. No, I didn’t have sex with him. I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

“Did you want to? Did you kiss him? Y’all go out on dates?”

“Bully, I know that’s not what you came here for.”

“I came here to tell you the truth, but if he or anyone else has you, that’s something we need to talk about too.”

Her head shook as she headed toward the living room, which felt like just a few steps in comparison to the large home we once shared.

“I haven’t dated him or anyone else.”

“Good. I’d hate to send a few bullets into Mr. Rogers because you cheated on me.”

It took her a second to catch the reference but when she did, she cackled. Me singing the first few lines of “Won’t You Be My Neighbor” made her laugh harder. Her eyes watered as she cupped her cheeks.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you too.”

Pulling in a shaky breath, Innvy focused her attention on the bag of food.

“Technically it wouldn’t have been cheating because you left me.”

“You mine, and you gon’ always be mine. The sooner you accept that, the sooner we can get back to us.”

Her head shook as she opened her chopsticks. She didn’t reject what I said, so I would accept that. We ate the sushi in silence, and I thought it was cute that she felt the need to grab a bottle of tequila when it was time for us to talk. As nervous as she seemed to be about hearing the truth, that made me wonder what scenarios she’d been thinking about while I was gone. I felt bad for making her worry and wonder, but that was over now, and I hoped she’d let me fix what I fucked up.

“Where do I begin?” I asked myself more than her as she took a shot of the tequila.

“The beginning is always nice.”

“To make a very long story short, Rocco made a lot of money betting on me and the Grizzlies when I played. Because of that, we established a relationship. We weren’t friends or no shit like that, but when we were out, he would always take care of the tab for me and whoever I was with. If I went to any of his businesses, whatever I wanted would be free. Shit like that.” I paused and pulled in a deep breath. “When my sister was raped, I was going to kill the person who did it. She begged me not to, so I asked Rocco to handle it. He told me he would and that since he was doing me a favor, the day would come when I would have to do one for him too.”

“Oh, so she was right then? Gabriella came to me the morning after the wedding sure that was why you’d left but I didn’t believe her.”

I nodded as I looked into her beautiful eyes. She had the prettiest doe shaped, dark brown eyes. Innvy was beautiful and sexy but she was also pretty as fuck. She had classic doll like features—doe eyes, heart shaped face, pointy nose, round and pouty lips. Her natural hair was longer now, reaching her waist. It was pulled up into a high ponytail, giving me the perfect view of her face.

“Yeah, apparently Rocco heard through the underworld that I was going to be Karrington’s underboss temporarily. He decided to capitalize and use me professionally since he couldn’t use me on the court anymore. A while back, he wanted me to throw games so he could have a seven figure payout when he bet. That was why I retired. So much time had passed I thought he’d forgotten about Andre, but clearly I was wrong.”

She leaned forward. “What did he ask you to do?”

“He wanted me to operate as an enforcer while his team set up shop in Mississippi and Rose Valley Hills. The Nahtahn Cartel has a very heavy presence in Rose Valley Hills, and they weren’t making it easy for him to take over any territory.”

“I don’t mean this disrespectfully, but I’m ignorant of what you do and who you are in the streets,” she admitted. “Why would he ask you to do that?”

With a smile, I took her hand into mine. “I don’t take that as a disrespectful question at all. You don’t know who I am, or who I used to be in the streets, because I never wanted you to. I didn’t think I’d make it playing ball, so I sold drugs. I got a lot of bodies under me, Angel, and I’m not proud of that, but it is what it is. When I was drafted, I went legit. I started offering protection and security with Asylum and Merc to clean up my image. But my reputation is my reputation. He knew what I was capable of, and hearing that I was going to work under Karrington was like a green light for him to use me.”

“Did he… make you kill people there?”

“I don’t want to lie to you,” was all I said.

With a nod, Innvy pulled her hands out of mine. “So you’ve spent the last nine months working for a mobster in a city that’s just a few hours away? You… what? Were a bodyguard for his people who killed his enemies or competition when you had to?”

“Exactly, except he couldn’t move in on the Nahtahn territory, so we were working on territory in Nashville and Jackson, Mississippi instead. I guess he didn’t want his main enforcers to be away for as long, so he used me.”

“And you got the job done,” she said with a bitter laugh as she poured another shot.

“I didn’t really have a choice, Innvy. I did what I had to do to protect my sister then and the rest of my family now. Rocco has a reputation of making what he wants to happen by any means necessary. He’s known for going after the families of those who cross him. The last thing I was going to do was say no and risk him coming after you or anyone else I love.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” she stressed with a quiet, urgent tone. “You didn’t trust me with all of you? Why didn’t you warn me? That would have made the last nine months a hell of a lot easier.”

“I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone. I should have asked her permission to tell you, but so much time had passed that I honestly wasn’t expecting him to ask me to do anything. Looking back now, I should have told you the day of our wedding, but I didn’t want to share that part of myself with you.”

“Why not?”

“That’s not the version of me you met. You met the retired NBA player with legal businesses who mentors students and helps high school coaches. I didn’t want to tell you I used to be a drug dealer who killed people. How would I explain that?”

Her eyes watered as she smiled with one side of her mouth and cupped my cheek. “Like you just did. I loved you unconditionally, Bully. I wouldn’t have judged you.”

“Loved?” I repeated, heart dropping. Past tense. Loved . Her mouth opened and closed. “You loved me? You saying you don’t love me anymore?”

“Of course I still love you. It’s just…” Twiddling her thumbs, she avoided my eyes. “I spent almost a year wondering where you were and why you left me. I’ve worked hard to get you out of my system and—”

“I didn’t tell you to do that.”

“Bully,” she said with a smile.

“If you got me out your system, I’ll make my way back in. But something tells me I’m still inside, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“This is a lot,” she whispered. “Um… We can set up a schedule for you and Innah. Maybe you can start taking her to my parents when I have to work and yours on the weekend. When you feel comfortable, you can have her for a few hours and eventually overnight.”

My head shook as she stood. “I mean… that’s cool… but you talking like we separated and won’t be living together soon.”

“Gabriel—”

Standing, I grabbed her wrists and pulled her into my chest. I wrapped her arms around me. The hold was weak but when she finally surrendered, Innvy clung to me. She was significantly shorter than me, so I kissed the top of her head and her temple as I held her close.

“I love you, Innvy. Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I did that to keep you and our princess safe. Now that I’m back…” I cupped her cheek so she would look at me. Her eyes watered as she tightened her grip around me. “I apologize for not communicating, but I will never apologize for doing whatever I have to, to keep you safe. But I can promise you, if you let me back in, I will never willingly leave you again.”

Licking the corner of her mouth didn’t stop her tears from falling. Her arms dropped and she took a step back.

“I need some time, Bully.”

“Okay. Can you just… tell me if we have a chance?”

Her head shook as she took another step back. “It’s not that simple. I don’t… trust you anymore. I don’t feel like my heart is safe with you anymore. You just… left me.” More tears fell. “You made me have our baby alone.”

“Angel…” I tried to hold her, but she lifted her hands and took another step back.

“Your friends, our family, they couldn’t replace you, Bully. I conceived her with you . She was our love child. I’ve had her for the last six months alone. Do you know how hard this has been for me? To feel alone in a room full of our loved ones just because I didn’t have you?”

My hand wrapped around her neck and I pulled her into my chest, whether she wanted me to or not. Her fists swung wildly until she tired herself out, then she held me again as she sobbed. I picked her up and carried her to her room, where I held her until she cried herself to sleep. As much as I didn’t want to leave, I did.

She wouldn’t want to deal with the vulnerability of the moment in front of me after she woke up. When I made it to the car, I sent her a text so she wouldn’t think I abandoned her.

Me: I’m gone but I’m only a call away if you want me to come back. I’ll pick princess up tomorrow and bring her home. If you want to talk more I’ll be ready but I can also give you space. Just know I’m not giving up on our family. On you. I will earn your trust back and be the man you once felt safe and secure with. I love you baby and I want you and you alone. Please don’t ever doubt that.

After sending the text, I pulled out of her driveway. We’d made some kind of progress but it wasn’t as much as I wanted us to. I’d take things slow because she was worth it—we were worth it.

That I was sure of.