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I nnvy

My entire body shook, and tears streamed from my eyes as I paced. Had I not slapped him, I wouldn’t have believed Bully was actually here. And then he had the nerve to show up with Venice Kitchen. I could tell by the smell it was my favorite thing on their menu—chicken parmesan. Damn! Had I not been so upset at the sight of him, I would have thoroughly enjoyed that food.

“Are you okay, Innvy?” Cierra asked. “Who was that?”

“Just leave it alone,” I pleaded, wiping my face. “I need you to reschedule the rest of my appointments for the day. I have to go.”

“Sure. Anything you need.”

With a nod, I mumbled a quick thanks before grabbing my purse and keys and heading out of my office. My thoughts were so discombobulated I drove to my parents’ house on autopilot. As soon as I arrived, I grabbed my baby and held her as I cried. My mama’s words were going in one ear and out of the other. I’m not sure how long it took me to calm down and be able to focus on what she was saying.

“Please, baby. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

I looked down at Innah who’d cried herself to sleep. It hadn’t been my intention to put my feelings on her. In that moment, she was the only person who could make me feel better, but I wasn’t thinking about how seeing me cry would make her cry. I gave her a few kisses before carrying her to the bed in the guest bedroom she napped in then whispered to Ma, “Bully is back.”

Her eyes blinked rapidly and frame grew rigid before she grabbed my hand and led me outside.

“You’ve seen him?” she asked as we walked down the hall.

“Yes. He showed up at the spa today.”

Mama scoffed. “He’s got some nerve. What the hell did he have to say?”

Her anger made me smile. “He didn’t really have a chance to say anything. I slapped him and threw the food he had away before leaving his ass standing there.”

“Good,” she replied, chin jutting out defiantly. “He’s got another thing coming if he thinks you’re going to fall for some cute little gesture. You’ve worked hard to get him out of your system. Don’t you let him back inside now.”

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my straightened hair. “I can’t even think about that right now.”

“You need to. You need to make up in your mind right now what you want and what you want to offer him. Now I won’t blame you if you let him be in my grandbaby’s life, but when it comes to you, you need to deny him access. Only God knows why he left and what he’s been doing for the last nine months. He can’t just come back and act like nothing happened.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. He did say he’d come back for his wife. And as hurt and angry as I was, I couldn’t act like a part of me wasn’t happy to see him. Instead of saying anything, I sat down and palmed my face as I rocked back and forth. This was not how I saw my day going… at all .

* * *

That Evening

I hid out as long as I could at my parents’ home before going to mine. That same black car was outside, and now, I knew it belonged to Bully. How the cove was situated, I had to make a slight turn to get into the garage and back of my home, which I was grateful for, because I didn’t have to see Bully when he got out of his car. In fact, the only reason I knew he got out was because I heard the door close.

I grabbed Innah and her bag and headed inside through the garage. By the time I was heading upstairs to get her settled, the doorbell rang. With a groan, I continued upstairs to put her in bed. Since I stayed later than expected, I fed and changed her there. All I’d have to do was get her out of her clothes and washed up for bed and she’d be good. She was a heavy sleeper, so I should be able to get that done without her waking up.

The doorbell rang again, and she breathed harder, making me smile. I ran my fingers over her wavy hair before leaving the room. The closer I got to the door, the harder and faster my heart beat. Earlier when I saw him, it caught me so off guard I could do nothing but lead with my anger and cry. Now, I felt a bit more in control of my emotions.

Opening the door slightly, I looked at him but left no room for him to come inside.

Damn.

He looked good.

Tall, athletic build. Milk chocolate brown skin that was covered in tattoos. Square head and tapered fade. Skin colored, soft, juicy lips. Bully had perfect white teeth, but my favorite part of him was his eyes. They were slanted and syrup brown with an intensity that always made me feel like he was looking through me… not at me. My daughter had those same penetrative eyes. I cried every time she looked at me for the first three weeks of her life, because they reminded me so much of him.

Bully had a beard now, and I couldn’t lie… it made him even sexier. The thirty-three year old looked more mature—buffer too.

What had he been doing?

“Can I come in?” he asked softly with that gruff voice I’d fallen in love with the first time I heard it.

“No.”

He smiled, and as much as I didn’t want to, I smiled as well.

“We need to talk, Angel.”

“You’re nine months too late for that, Gabriel.”

His eyes closed and nostrils flared. “Can I at least see Innah?”

That made me chuckle.

“Oh, now you want to see my daughter?”

“She’s our daughter.”

“No, she’s my daughter,” I clarified, pointing to my chest. “ I’m the one that gave birth to her. I’m the only parent on her birth certificate. And I’m the one that’s been taking care of her.”

Bully’s tongue slid over his teeth. “You’re right,” he conceded.

I had no reply to that.

I wasn’t expecting him to actually agree.

“Can I see her? Please?”

He stepped close—too close. I inhaled and held, trying to make space for him. I didn’t want to touch him. Couldn’t touch him. If I touched him, I’d crack. Nodding, I swallowed hard and opened the door wider. It wasn’t until he was inside and a few feet away from me that I felt like I could breathe.

“She’s asleep.”

“That’s fine. I just want to see her.”

I led him up the stairs, acutely aware of his closeness. The warmth of his skin… the unique scent combination of the soapy and oriental cologne he wore. Chills covered my arms and my pussy leaked without my permission. When we made it to the top of the stairs, he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

Gasping, I tensed immediately.

“Bully…”

My voice shook as his beard and lips grazed my neck, making me shiver. “This is the first time I’ve felt my heart beat in nine months, baby. I missed you so fucking much.”

For one very, very brief moment, I allowed myself to relax in his embrace. It didn’t matter how many people hugged and held me, no embrace felt as good, warm, and safe as Bully’s. Unfortunately, the man who had become the safest place for me felt foreign and unsafe because of his disappearing act, so as much as I didn’t want to, I pulled away.

We walked into her room, and I intentionally stayed a few steps away from her crib. He took small steps toward it. I heard the intake of breath that filled him when his eyes landed on her. For a few seconds, he stared at her. When it seemed he couldn’t take it anymore, Bully picked her up and rested her against his chest. Tears slipped down his face as he laughed quietly, then hummed. Holding the back of Innah’s head, he rocked her and kissed her over and over and over again.

Her eyes fluttered open, settling on him long enough for her to smile before they closed again.

“Hey, Princess. Hey, baby girl.” She whimpered and squirmed before looking at him again. She smiled—again. “Daddy’s home, and I promise, I’m never leaving you again.” He sniffled. “You hear me? Only God will be able to take me away from you.”

Innah looked his face over for a few seconds more with a tilted head before going back to sleep. The moment somehow felt intrusive, so I turned away and wiped my own tears. Hearing him promise to never leave her again did something to me… something I didn’t want to feel for him. Not this soon at least. Regardless of how things ended between us, Bully had always been a man of his word. If he promised to be here for her, he would be.

“I’ll uh… give you a moment.”

He gave me a distracted thank you as I left the room, unsure what the hell to do with myself. I decided to shower and try to clear my thoughts, hoping he’d be gone by the time I was done. Once I was dressed in a two piece short set, I went back to her room, and he was still there… holding her… looking at her as if he’d never seen a more beautiful sight. I understood his reaction to her because it was the one I had too.

“How long did you plan on staying?” I asked, gaining his attention.

“I guess I can leave now since she went back to sleep.”

Nodding, I watched as he stood and put her back in bed. Then, we went back downstairs. I avoided his eyes as he opened the door but made no effort to leave.

“I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but I hope we can talk soon, Innvy. There’s a lot that I couldn’t tell you then and I really shouldn’t tell you now, but I will. I will because I love you and I want to be with you and our daughter. So if you need time and space, I can give you that—” His hand gripped my chin and tilted my head in his direction. “But I am not giving up on us. Do you hear me?”

“You don’t get to come here and—”

“Aye, fuck allat shit.” He tightened his grip on my chin as I huffed and tried to push away. “Now I know I fucked up but everything I did was for a reason. I just need you to trust me, baby.”

“Trust you?” I repeated with a laugh, smacking his hand away. “You left me on our wedding day. You weren’t here for the birth of our baby! I haven’t seen or heard from you in nine months, and you expect me to just… trust you?”

“Yes, because other than that, I’ve never done anything to make you feel as if you couldn’t trust me.” My eyes rolled and head shook as I took a step back, but he gripped my shoulders and pulled me forward. “Innvy, you know it had to be something drastic to make me leave you. All I’m asking for is the grace and space to explain what and why. If after that you don’t want to be with me… I’ll give you that.”

“Fine,” I agreed, willing to say just about anything to get him out of my house so I could think and breathe.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

My head shook as I reached around him to open the door fully. “No.”

“Wednesday?”

“That won’t work either,” I declined, pressing my palms together. “I have a really busy week and I don’t want to have this kind of conversation after dealing with clients all day.”

“Then this weekend?” he confirmed. “Saturday evening?”

I thought it over, and when I was unable to come up with an excuse, I agreed with, “That’s fine.”

“What time do you want me to come over?”

“Can you just meet me when I take Innah to your parents?”

His jaw clenched and I could tell he wanted to say no but he agreed. When he left, I got mad at him all over again. How dare he give up on me so easily? All I could do was groan as I headed toward the kitchen for a glass of wine. While I washed my sleeping beauty up, I drowned in thoughts of her father. One minute I wanted him to leave me alone, and the next I wanted him to fight for me. Regardless, as long as he was consistent with Innah, that was the most important thing.