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B ully

Nine Months Later

I’d never been scared of anything in my life, but I was scared to face the woman that was supposed to be my wife. She’d given birth to our baby girl and named her Innah, which, in its Indian origin, meant God is perfection. We knew that to be true, and so was the love He gave us through each other. I didn’t think anything would stop that love. Now, I wasn’t so sure.

From the moment Innvy and I met we were inseparable. Rarely did more than a day go by when we weren’t in each other’s presence, so going these past nine months without her had me on the brink of insanity. While the time apart further assured me that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, a part of me feared it helped her move on from me. Because we hadn’t just not seen each other—we weren’t talking either. Worse, I missed the birth of our baby girl.

How would she ever forgive me for that?

Pushing those thoughts out of my head, I kept my feet light as I walked toward the back patio. It was the beginning of spring, and my parents were taking full advantage of the warmer weather. Low music played while they worked the flat top grill. While Mama worked on what looked to be fajita chicken, Pops flipped burgers.

“Y’all got enough for me?”

While Gabriella’s eyes widened as she covered her mouth, Mama yelled about her baby as she rushed over to me. A sad smile lifted the corners of my mouth as I held her close. Regardless of the time away, she was the one person I knew for sure would care less about why I left and would just be glad I was back home.

“My baby, my baby, my baby!” Her entire body shook as she clung to my neck.

“It’s aight, Mama. I’m back home for good.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

She kissed all over my face before finally releasing me, and Gabriella wasted no time taking her place. After I held her for a while, I walked over to Pops. He alternated between frowning and blinking back tears before taking me into his arms.

“I should beat your ass for leaving my daughter and little princess. Innvy has—”

“ Please , Pops. I ain’t ready yet.”

With a huff, he released me. “You ain’t got to be ready. It’s been nine months. My grandbaby has been on this Earth for six. It ain’t a damn thing you can say to justify not being here for her.”

“I left to make sure I could be with her for the rest of my life. Trust me on that.”

Our gazes remained locked for a few seconds before he nodded his agreement and pulled me in for another hug. After that, the energy shifted. We caught up but I asked them not to show me any pictures of Innah or give me any details about my baby girl. I wanted to experience her in real time for the first time.

Being away from Innvy was hard enough, but after her due date passed, I started to get physically sick from the thought of Innah being here without me. When Rocco realized the effect not having my girls was putting on my body, he adjusted the terms and agreed to release me. After what I’d just spent the last nine months doing, I considered us even, and he’d better too.

About an hour into my visit, I could no longer ignore Gabriella’s silence. She didn’t appear to be her normal bubbly self. As I sipped my beer, I walked over to the egg chair she was seated in. I plopped down on the space next to her and rocked us with my left foot.

“What’s up with you?” I checked as she stared at her phone.

“Have you seen Innvy and Innah yet?”

“Nah, not yet. It’s my first day back in town, so I wanted to decompress first.”

Gabriella sighed as she finally looked at me. “You had to leave because of me, didn’t you?” My head shook and she shoved my chest. “Don’t lie to me, Gabriel. I’ve felt like shit since you’ve been gone, so telling me the truth won’t make me feel any worse. I just… I need to know.”

I’d always been my sister’s protector. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally too. If there was ever anything I felt could hurt her, I wanted to keep it from her. With Gabriella, I didn’t subscribe to the narrative that she had to suffer or struggle or experience unnecessary pain to prepare for the real world, and I felt like that was how I’d be with Innah too. Life would be hard enough for them. I wouldn’t be hard too, but I would, however, be the rock that crushed anything and anyone for them and kept them steady. But for the first time, I decided to be completely honest with my sister… even if I knew the truth would hurt her.

“Yeah, it was because of that situation. I can’t say it was because of you because you didn’t ask for that to happen.”

“How did we get to this? What did he want with you? He…” Her mouth snapped shut and she looked over at our parents who were in their own world before continuing. “He killed Andre, right?”

I bobbed my head. “Right. In exchange for the favor, I agreed to do whatever he needed me to do because he handled that. At first, he wanted me to throw games, but I said no.”

“That’s why you retired?” she asked with watery eyes.

“Yeah. And before you start blaming yourself for that, that was my choice. I didn’t want him to think he could use the court against me. I won’t allow any man to have that kind of power over me. I chose to retire; I wasn’t forced to.”

“Oh God. You gave up your dream because of my bullshit. I’m so sorry, Bully.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Sis. I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

With a shaky breath, Gabriella wiped away a quickly fallen tear. “Is it over now? Whatever he asked you to do… it’s over, right?”

“Yeah, it’s over.”

Relief washed over her face as she hugged me. “I’m sorry you had to miss your wedding and the first six months of your baby’s life. Had I known me telling you the truth would have led to all this—”

“Hey, don’t even go there.” I cupped her cheek and forced her to look at me. “You can come to me about anything. There was no way for me to know he’d wait five years to ask for his favor. It’s done now, and I’m going to focus on restoring what my time away has fucked up. But I need to know that you know this isn’t your fault.”

Even though she nodded her agreement, I could tell she was still holding the weight of what I’d just said. Hopefully time would release her of it, because I didn’t know what to say or do. And I honestly didn’t have the capacity to. My sole priority now that I was back home would be getting back on good terms with my girl and establishing a relationship with my baby girl.

I chilled with my family for a little while longer before emailing my business manager and the managers for my athletic store and shoe store. After setting up meetings with them to get updated on how business had been, I sent a text to my crew’s group chat.

Me: I’m home.