Page 26 of Bullied Pregnant Mate (Silver Meadows Wolves #7)

A couple of weeks after Alisa is out of the hospital, I have to attend an official meeting with the pack to discuss the events of that terrible night—and everything that led up to it.

I’m standing out the back of Shelley’s, feeling like my world is about to end. But Alisa is standing beside me, holding my hand, and I know, if nothing else, I have her love, and that is all I really need.

I look down at my beautiful wife, and she squeezes my hand, giving me a little smile. That silent communication between us, the touch of her hand in mine, has become a language all its own. Just with the touch of her fingers, she speaks volumes to me of how much she loves and trusts me.

I don’t deserve it.

“Yes, you do, Jenks!” she exclaims. “I don’t know how many times I have to keep telling you, but you have suffered enough in your life. You can stop beating yourself up over it now and learn to really live.”

My only response is to squeeze her hand. She smiles even wider, understanding the feeling between us so well that I don’t need to say anything. The strange telepathy between us has only gotten stronger. We still don’t know if it’s because I inherited witch powers from my mother, or if my connection with Alisa is just so strong, we can hear each other without speaking.

I take a deep breath and look at the back door of Shelley’s, feeling like I’m about to walk right into hell. Bailey was kind enough to give me time with Alisa after she got out of the hospital, but all of us knew this day had to come.

“It’s okay, Jenks,” Alisa says. “I’m with you.”

“Even if we get banished?”

She squeezes my hand again, her breath catching in her throat. “It would be hard to leave my coven,” she admits, putting one hand on her belly. “But I am with you and our daughter forever. I go where you go.”

It could be worse. I might be punished.

Alisa’s fingers tighten on mine again, and she shakes her head. “Don’t think about that. Let’s just go inside. Delaying this isn’t helping anyone.”

I let out the breath I’ve been holding and take the last step up to the door. When I shove it open, the warmth from the room inside wraps around me, but it doesn’t ease the chill in my bones.

When I see the table set out before us, my anxiety shoots up another notch. Instead of everyone sitting around casually as they usually do, they’re sitting on one side, facing me like a panel of judges. Bae and Carson sit at one end, with Rider and Peter at the other. Jack is by Bae’s right hand, while Kyle and Nate sit together in the center.

Standing back from the table behind Bae, Gina watches me with her cool blue eyes. Her gaze is usually gentle, but today, she looks stern and cold. Somehow, she’s far more frightening than Bae.

Behind Rider, Fiona watches us approach, and her gaze is even more calculating than Gina’s.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it gets stuck, and my eyes start to water. “Alisa, go and sit down,” I say, gesturing to the spare seats in the corner.

“No way,” she states. “I’m with you, for better or worse.”

I want to protest, but the pressure of her hand in mine gives me no room for argument. With a simple touch, she tells me she will stand by my side in front of this—and any challenge—we may face.

“Approach, Jenkins,” Bailey says.

Hearing my full name makes me flinch a little. Only my mother calls me Jenkins.

Not long after Alisa got out of the hospital, my mom called. She had spoken with Carla and found out everything that had happened. I’d never heard my mother’s voice so broken, and in that moment, I understood how hard it had been for her to hide the truth from me.

I thought I was protecting you, Jenkins. My sweet baby Jenks. I didn’t want your father to ever find you. Now I realize I put you in danger. If you had known about him, none of this would have happened.

New warmth grows in my chest as I remember her promise to visit soon, to meet Alisa and our baby when she arrives. I can feel how difficult it is for her to return at all.

Mother feels like she’s made so many mistakes, she can’t possibly atone for them all.

I know exactly how she feels.

I stand in front of the table, facing my judges. Carson looks absolutely livid, while the others wear mostly neutral but stern expressions.

“Jenkins, you stand before the pack elders and alphas today to answer for the crimes of withholding information, failing at your assigned tasks, and endangering your pack. Do you dispute any of these charges?”

“No, Alpha Bailey,” I say, trying to force my voice above a whisper. “I dispute nothing.”

Bailey’s eyes widen a little, but he recovers his stern tone and expression.

“As yet, we have few details about the events that led to the standoff at Ophir. I’d like you to tell us, in your own words, what happened to cause this incident. Start at the beginning, please.”

I look around the table and see watchful, expectant faces. Only Carson looks angry, and that gives me some hope.

Carson always looks angry.

“It was my first patrol, several weeks ago,” I begin meekly. “I was struggling because I am not well-bonded to my wolf, and I’ve never been conditioned to physical activity. I was tired, and my senses weren’t as sharp as they could have been.”

It sounds like I’m making excuses!

“I caught a strange scent,” I continue. “When I came out to the first ridge, I saw a wolf I didn’t know. The scent seemed familiar, even though I’d never seen him before. When he didn’t attack me, I returned home. I was very tired and didn’t think much of the incident.”

“You are aware you should have made a report?” Rider asks, his voice hard.

“Yes, Alpha Rider. I am fully aware. I failed in my duty, and I was punished swiftly for it. The next morning, this wolf and one other attacked my wife on my own property.”

Gina moves behind Bae, a look of disappointment settling over her face.

It’s worse than her being angry with me. I almost wish she would yell, scream, and call me a fool.

Alisa squeezes my hand, and it gives me strength.

“The black wolf and his companion attacked Alisa in my yard,” I say. “I fought them and drove them off. It appeared that they had slipped through patrols.”

“That area was your responsibility, Jenkins,” Nate reminds me harshly. He’s much younger than me, but his conditioning to the harsh ways of the mountain have tempered him so much, he carries a weighty presence.

“I am aware,” I say. “If I had completed my patrol and reported the incident, they would not have gotten through.”

“And even though there was an act of violence, still you did not report,” Carson snaps. “The Decker wolves are a direct threat to us, and to the witches, who we have only just welcomed back into the pack.”

“Yes, Carson,” I answer. “I agree with every single word. I did report at the meeting the next day.”

“That doesn’t excuse anything!” Carson barks. “You failed in your duty at the first instance!”

“Carson, enough,” Bailey growls. “Please, Jenks, go on.”

“We couldn’t figure out a reason for the wolves coming so close but not attacking me,” I continue. “I was pretty hung up over it, and tried to figure it out for myself.”

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the words in my heart.

This is where it all started to go bad.

“The next day, you asked me to go straight out on patrol, Bae,” I say, rushing the words out. “That’s when I met Brad, and he told me who he was.”

Carson opens his mouth to speak, but Bae holds up his hand. “Go on, Jenks,” my alpha says.

“He said he’d been watching me, and that the other wolf was my father, and he’d been looking for me.”

I close my eyes, turning away from the pain in my chest.

“He convinced you that they were just playing with your wife when they attacked her?” Carson bites out.

I raise my eyes to his and meet his glare. “He put enough doubt in my mind that I didn’t know what to do. That’s the best I’ve got.”

“And you told no one,” Carson goes on, outraged. “Even knowing how dangerous it was?”

“Correct,” I say curtly, looking right at him.

Come at me, you old dog. I’m ready to stand and fight for myself!

“What next, Jenks?” Bae asks.

“After that, you asked us to leave… and I heard nothing during that time.”

“Did you have any idea that we suspected it was your presence on the property drawing the enemy wolves in?” Peter asks. “The signs were very few, but it appeared that they were coming to your house, and we thought we were protecting you by moving you.”

“All of us considered you to be innocent, Jenks,” Gina adds, her tone bitter. “Bae told me you were too inexperienced for the work, and he was afraid you’d get hurt if you hadn’t noticed the signs of enemy wolves on your patrol.”

I hang my head, staring at the floor. “I didn’t know. I understand that I have put my alpha and my pack in terrible danger, and betrayed everyone’s trust.”

“When you returned, did the enemy wolf approach you right away?” Bae asks.

“Yes,” I answer, raising my head to look him straight in the eye. “Minutes after you left my house, I went into the woods and met with Brad, my half-brother. We arranged a meeting for the next night’s full moon, where he would introduce me to my father, Jerry.”

“This is complete and utter incompetence!” Kyle erupts. “Or idiocy. How could you even consider going alone?”

“Kyle, I mean no disrespect,” I reply, gathering my voice. “But you also come from a broken home. If there was a chance to reconcile, wouldn’t you have taken it?”

Kyle looks away, his face drawn.

“This isn’t about Kyle, or anyone’s hypothetical actions,” Carson snaps. “This is about you.”

“Go on, Jenks,” Bailey urges. “Keep talking.”

Encouraged by his use of my nickname, I plow forward, feeling lighter by the second as I shed my secrets.

“It felt bad from the beginning, but I pushed on. The sliver of hope in me was incredibly small, but I couldn’t give up on it. I thought if I contacted you—any of you—it would end in slaughter, or worse. I didn’t know what would happen to my father or brother, and I thought if I put my trust in them, everything would be okay.”

The room is silent for a moment before Kyle says, “All of us are guilty of trusting the wrong people at least once in our lives.” He and Rider share a look of sympathy, as if they’re remembering their time with Jethro.

“I realized my mistake as soon as I arrived,” I forge on, desperate to finish the tale. “But it was too late. If Alisa hadn’t done her spell to alert you, we would have been killed for sure, although I believe the Decker wolves wanted to take Alisa alive.”

Carson leans over and whispers to Bae, who nods. Even with wolf hearing, I can’t discern the words of the exchange.

“I stand before you all, submitting to your will,” I declare. “I’ve lied, betrayed, and been careless, and I almost paid for it by losing the woman I love more than anything in this world. I am here now to pledge my fealty and my commitment to the pack, and tell you I have learned from my actions, and I will never let anything like this happen, ever again.” I bow my head slightly to all of them. “I await your judgment,” I say, feeling stronger than I have in months. “No matter your decision, I will abide by it.”

“Step outside for a moment, Jenks,” Bailey tells me. “Let us confer.”

Alisa tugs on my hand, leading me through the back door. I feel empty, and shaken, but also lighter than air.

I’ve confessed, and I know in my heart and soul that I am a changed man. No matter what they decide, I can go forth from this moment with a clean conscience.

We aren’t waiting outside long when Fiona comes to get us. When we return to the table, Bailey stands up, a tense look on his face.

“Jenks, you know that the consequences for this could be severe. Your actions were reckless and endangered a lot of our pack members. It is very lucky that no one was even injured—and that we actually did some damage to Decker’s attacking force.”

“They will be weakened now,” Nate adds. “It will be a while before they have the numbers, or the courage, to go up against us again.”

“Just so,” Bae agrees. “Even though it has been difficult to agree on a solution, we have decided that at this time, there will be no punishment. For either of you.”

Alisa gasps in relief, putting her arms around me.

“This is a probation of sorts, Jenks,” Gina says. “You aren’t getting a pass here because you’re family. Bailey has admitted his own failure that you were never included in pack business, nor had any responsibilities before you were thrown into the deep end. The fact that family members were involved considerably clouded the issues. None of us could predict what we would do in a similar situation.”

“Thank you,” I say, meaning it. “I want to make amends in any way possible.”

“And you will,” Bailey says. “You will train with the young wolves under Peter’s direction, and we’ll see if we can make a warrior out of you.”

Bae finishes with a smile, and I’m struck with the image of myself standing in the snow with a bunch of five-year-olds, being less experienced than all of them.

“It’s okay, Jenks,” Peter says, grinning. “We’ll start you nice and easy this time. Like a run to the top of Mt. Sneffels without stopping.”

“I hope you’re exaggerating,” I laugh. “I’ll probably have a heart attack.”

“We’ll race you against Caleb,” Fiona jokes with a warm smile.

“I give up,” I say in the light, joking tone I’ve always used to deflect attention. “I’ll never compete with Caleb.”

Everyone laughs, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m in on the joke instead of being the subject of it.

Alisa squeezes my hand, much harder than usual. She smiles up at me, and I feel like my heart is about to burst with happiness.

“Come on,” Gina says. “I told Mother to put together light refreshments for us, so I’m sure the tables are about to collapse under the weight of the food she’s brought.”

Everyone laughs again, and my heart soars. I’ve faced the darkest days of my life, and reached something I always dreamed of but thought I’d never get.

Family.