Page 9 of Bullied Alpha Bride (Wolfshade Brides-for-Hire #2)

I run down the street, barely able to see through the flood of tears running down my cheeks. I push myself on faster and faster, hearing the slap of my feet on the ground as my breath begins to burn in my throat.

She was buried… someone took care of her. Who? Why?

My exertion collides with my terror and confusion, leaving me so breathless that dark spots start to bounce through my vision. I stop so suddenly, I almost fall down, bracing my hands on my knees while I pant to get my breath back.

Something isn’t right.

Father said that he killed Mom and that they fought to the death. But if that were true, why did anyone come looking for her?

And if someone took care of her, why didn’t they come for me, too?

My misery and grief feel like a sharp, hard stone in my chest. We weren’t popular here; I know that. Kit’s grandfather didn’t like us and probably wanted to kick us out from the moment we arrived.

I was so young when we came here, I had no idea about any of this. I only found out as I got older that we weren’t welcome. Luckily, Mother had a few friends who were close to the top families. They fought for her so she was allowed to stay.

Fresh tears sting my eyes as I think of my beautiful, gentle mom standing up against all this adversity. I remember so little of those early years because she got us both out of there before Father could turn his cruelty on me.

And he found me, anyway. Mother, I’m so, so sorry I let you down. You tried so hard, and I let him get me.

Standing up straight, I take a deep breath and hold it, looking at the tall, wrought-iron gates ahead of me. As I walk through, I feel like I’m passing into another dimension or maybe a different time.

Echoes from the past. That’s all that lives here now.

The front rows of the cemetery are neat and well cared for. There is an impressive stone monument in the center for the families of the Alpha line. I pause as I walk by, seeing the graves of Leopold and Alisha, Kit’s grandparents.

I wonder how they died. It must have been around the same time as when I left.

Shaking my head, I turn away from the monument and head for the back rows of the graveyard, where the aisles are choked with weeds and unruly, long grass. There are so many loose ends floating around in my mind, I can’t even begin to make sense of them.

Secrets. Secrets buried all around me. I don’t even know if I want to know the truth.

Briefly, I try to imagine what would have happened if I had just kept running. I’d be high in the mountains now, probably somewhere in Canada. I like to think I’d be safe, wild, and free, but in all likelihood, I’d be starved, frozen, and probably under attack by wild arctic wolves.

Natural wolves won’t go after a shifter… unless they’re a big pack and a shifter wanders into their territory.

My eyes have been lightly running over the headstones, and when my mother’s name leaps out at me, it hits me like a blow.

“Laura Close. Dear friend, valued member of the pack, and beloved mother. May you run free on the hills beyond our world.”

“Who wrote that?” I whisper as if the spirits around me could answer the question. No conclusion comes, even though the wind picks up and moans through the headstones. Maybe the ghosts do have something to say.

I fall to my knees in front of the grave, tears pouring down my cheeks. The grief in my chest is so extreme, I know I can’t let it out all at once, or it would completely destroy me.

Some things are so sharp, dark, and heavy that they can’t be let go… or held on to.

Memories flood through my mind, and slowly, the pain consumes me.

I see my mother standing in our kitchen, waving a wooden spoon as she sings and dances to the radio.

I can almost smell the cookies baking, and taste the hot cocoa.

Her voice rings through me, her love and encouragement always lifting me up and making my heart soar.

I love you, Mom. I love you so much.

The beautiful memories are shattered by the image of her broken, bloodied body. She was crumpled in the dirt, arms, and legs twisted, blood smearing her pale skin. It looked like she’d been brought down by a pack of wolves, not one.

But if that’s what happened, why would Father lie and say he did it?

Useless questions. The kind that could drive a person completely insane. No one can fathom the actions of a sociopath, and trying to gain closure about it would only shatter my mind.

Would knowing the answers to these questions really bring me peace?

Now that the idea is in my head, though, I can’t shake it. If Father really didn’t do it, then who did?

Was it the person who found her body? Is that why they knew where to look? Were they coming back for her… or me?

A new terror blooms in my chest, so shocking that it makes the tears dry up. I stare at the headstone, my hands gripping the grass beneath my knees.

Leopold’s kill squad… Kit ran with them. I heard rumors of things they did in the alpha’s name, but I never believed it.

Oh, God! What if—

“Lexa?”

I almost jump out of my skin when I hear Kit’s voice. Shock and fear race through me, and all I can do is stare up at him, my body frozen, all my accusations locked in my chest.

Would he really lie to me about this? Would he take everything I had, then brutally dump me in front of his family… and then… and then kill my mother?

“Lexa,” he says again. There is so much genuine care and warmth in his voice, I can’t point any blame at him.

But he knows something. He knows she was found, and buried. I need to know more…

“Are you okay?” he asks, sitting down next to me. “I mean, I know you’re not, but is there anything I can do for you?”

Yes… answer all my fucking questions!

I shake my head slowly, still staring at the headstone. Kit takes a breath and pauses as if he wants to ask me something, but he doesn’t say anything, and the moment passes.

“I’m here,” he says. “Anything you need, just tell me.”

I nod slowly, crumpling slowly as I start to cry again. He puts his arms around me, and I let him, staying tense at first, but eventually falling against his broad, strong chest and clinging to his shoulders as sobs shake through me.

I remember this feeling from that night I spent in his arms. I’d never felt so safe. I had so much hope for the future. It was like everything in my life was finally coming together, and I didn’t have to fear the past anymore.

Kit rocks me gently, stroking my hair, and I gasp through my sobs as I try to calm myself down. The magic between our bodies is undeniable, and having him so close is doing things to me.

It would be so easy to let go. I want to love him. It’s all I ever wanted.

But the ugly questions in my mind come back, and even if I could put aside my suspicions, I know I can’t ever forgive the way he dumped me.

It would have been bad enough if I went into it as a silly fling, but I didn’t. I gave him my heart and soul that night, and he threw it away.

“Get off,” I mutter, shoving him. He falls on his butt next to me, and I pick myself up, dusting the grass off my hands as I take a few steps back.

Kit looks up at me with wide eyes, as if he’s afraid of me.

Looking away, I wipe my nose, sniffling a bit as I try to get myself under control. I hear him stand up, but he doesn’t try to get close to me. A shadow falls on us, and when I look up, I’m shocked to see the sun sinking below the horizon.

“It’s late,” I whisper.

“Not that late,” Kit says. “The sun sets early in Wolfshade.”

I nod, looking at my mother’s gravestone.

I don’t want to look at him. I’m scared of what I see in his eyes.

“Thank you for telling me she was here,” I say. “It’s a relief to me, to know that she was taken care of.”

“You left town so suddenly, and no one could find you. I didn’t even know if you knew she died.”

“I knew,” I mutter, looking up at him. I keep my voice firm and my face blank, waiting for his reaction.

To my surprise, his eyes widen with shock, and he takes a little step back.

There it is again. As if he’s scared of me.

The questions arise in my mind, teeming against my skull, begging to be let loose, but I still feel it might be more painful to learn the truth than to leave the secrets buried.

And it’s just like with Father. Who can I really trust? Would Kit tell the truth if I asked?

“Lexa,” Kit says, looking over at the mountains and not at me. “Would you run with me in the forest, up to the high ridge?”

I follow his gaze to the dark line of trees just above the town. Not as high as Lycan Pass, but above the rough hills around the town.

The idea of going that far into the wilderness alone with him scares me for a lot of reasons.

Best-case scenario, I let him seduce me again. Worst case… I find out what really happened to Mom.

The possibilities are too painful to contemplate, but a run does sound good. My wolf is almost howling with tension and need, and I’m more than happy to give over my higher thinking to her primal mind.

“Sure,” I answer. “That sounds like a good idea.”

Kit looks surprised but pleased. He holds out his hand and gestures towards the back of the cemetery.

“There’s a path through here. Come on.”

I don’t move, just stare at his hand, then let my eyes flick back to his face. Reluctantly, he lowers his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t think this meant—”

“Good,” I reply, cutting him off. “Because this doesn’t mean anything.

I could use a hard run. Today has been a difficult one for me.

I think it would do us good to go together, but this is my commitment to making an amicable partnership with you.

It doesn’t mean I’m letting you back into my heart—or my pants. ”

Kit shakes his head. “No, I’d never dare to suggest that. I know what I did was unforgivable, and I wanted to tell you I’m sor—”

“Don’t,” I snap, cutting him off. “Don’t say you’re sorry, or give me any speeches. I heard quite enough the night you seduced me, and the next day when you tossed me aside like a used tissue. Do you really think I’d believe anything you have to say?”

I’m surrounded by liars. There’s no one I can trust.

“Okay.” Kit looks at the ground, his shoulders sagging.

“I understand. I don’t deserve your trust. I lied to you horribly, and if you never believe a word that comes out of my mouth, that’s exactly what I deserve.

Just know that I am committed to making it up to you, and I can’t thank Iris enough for bringing us together so I at least have a chance. ”

Iris! What was she thinking, matching me with him? Did she know? Did she know about all of this?

More questions pushing into my mind just make my head hurt even worse. My wolf throbs in my blood, begging to take over. I can’t keep my shit together a second longer, so I gesture to Kit to lead the way.

“Let’s go, then,” I mutter. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay, Lexa,” he answers, his voice very soft. “I will make it up to you. I swear.”

I shake my head, refusing to answer. I’m distracted momentarily as Kit pulls off his clothes, but once he shifts, the flicker of arousal is snuffed out.

He doesn’t stop being nonstop gorgeous.

When my wolf takes over, the hunger returns. Being naked in front of him is tempting enough, but in my wolf shape, I feel even more bare than I was before.

Luckily, Kit turns and bounds into the forest. All I have to do is follow him, letting the thrill of my wolf swallow all my doubt and most of my pain.