Page 19 of Brutal Reign (Shadowed Heirs #5)

19

T he back lawn of the Goldenleaf packhouse is still littered with clothes when Seb and I return, the atmosphere eerily quiet save for the distant howls of wolves emanating from the forest beyond. If someone stumbled upon this scene and wasn’t aware shifters existed, they’d probably think a biblical event had occurred or something. I can definitively say this is my first time returning from a full moon run early, and it’s a little creepy how this place went from bustling with activity beforehand to a complete ghost town at present. The only sign of life is the array of clothes scattered on the ground.

Others might find it unsettling, but I happen to like the quiet.

Seb tracked River’s scent back here. She’s nowhere in sight out on the lawn, so she must be inside– and the two of us waste no time in shifting from our wolves and tugging on our jeans, not even bothering to fasten them or put our shirts on. We both feel the urgency; the pull of the bond calling us to our mate. We jog straight for the patio doors, letting ourselves in only to find it’s just as quiet and empty inside the packhouse as it was outside.

Everyone must still be out enjoying their run beneath the full moon. Running is the last thing on my mind right now, though– my inner wolf suddenly doesn’t give a shit about the moon; his sole objective is finding our mate. My instincts are on overdrive, and judging from the way the tugging sensation in my chest intensifies upon entering the packhouse, she must be close.

I still don’t know what to make of all this. Being bonded to River Jacobsen is both an incredible gift and an epic mindfuck. I want this– want her – more than anything, but the uncertainty of this unusual bond also scares the shit out of me. I’m trying to keep a level head while we figure it out, but part of me is also fucking panicking right now.

I know Seb feels it, too. The guy has barely said two words to me since we shifted to track her down, and I can tell he’s in his head about whether this can really work. I have my own doubts, but there’s no point in voicing them right now. There’s no point in any of this if we can’t find River and actually talk to her.

The sound of a cabinet door banging shut in the kitchen cuts through the silence of the packhouse, and Seb and I draw a collective breath, locking eyes for a fraction of a second before we both rush toward the noise. We stumble into the kitchen to find River rolling the waistband on a pair of grey sweatpants on her hips to secure them, her head snapping up the moment we enter and her hazel eyes widening in surprise.

“What are you guys doing here?” she breathes, her gaze unwittingly dropping down our bare-chested bodies. I don’t miss the faint blush that rises to her cheeks when she finally makes eye contact, a little puff of air escaping those full lips.

“We came to talk to our mate,” Seb replies, and I can hear the strain in his voice when he says the word ‘our’. He’s still struggling to come to grips with this whole thing. It’s against his possessive nature.

Hell, it’s against mine, too, but I’m trying my best to be openminded here.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” River snaps, punching her hands on her hips. Her chest bows forward as she lifts her chin defiantly, her hard nipples pressing against the fabric of the thin white tank top she’s wearing. “Get out.”

“Stop fucking around, Riv,” Seb growls.

“You think I’m joking?” she scoffs. “I’m not now, and I wasn’t last night when I said I wanted nothing to do with you guys.”

“But you’re our mate,” I rasp.

Her eyes ping to mine. “No. Whatever that was…” she trails off, waving a hand wildly. “I don’t know what the hell that was out there, but it’s impossible to have two mates. And fate definitely wouldn’t be cruel enough to shackle me to you two for the rest of my life.”

Ouch.

I heave a sigh, my posture deflating. “Riv…”

“No, I don’t wanna hear it,” she interrupts, shaking her head adamantly. “This changes nothing between us.”

“It changes everything,” Seb snarls.

Her gaze snaps back to him, jaw going slack with disbelief. “How?” she demands, narrowing her eyes. “Whatever bond we have isn’t going to make me stop hating you two. It’s not going to change the hell you’ve put me through over the past three years.”

I scrub my hands over my face, cringing at the reminder of the lengths we went to in pushing her away. “I know we can’t take back how we’ve treated you, but trust me, neither of us wanted to do it,” I mutter wryly.

She snorts a sarcastic laugh. “Really? Could’ve fooled me.” Lifting a hand, she points a finger, swinging it between us. “You two have done nothing but try to make my life hell for the past two weeks. And before that, you acted like I never even existed!” She throws her hands up, eyes wide and wild. “We used to be friends until you made it very clear that neither of you wanted anything to do with me, and now that the moon just… did whatever it did, I’m supposed to forget about all that and believe you suddenly want me?”

“I’ve always fucking wanted you,” Seb snaps as he takes a step toward her, his posture stiff and his shoulders bunched up with tension. “We both did, that was the problem.”

River rolls her eyes, clucking her tongue. “Yeah right. I’ve seen the types of girls you go for. Blondes, right?” She cocks her head and runs a hand through her long dark hair for emphasis.

Seb’s fists clench at his sides, the muscle in his jaw ticking. “That’s the fucking point, Riv, don’t you get it?” he growls. “I knew I could never have you, so any girl I hooked up with had to be the furthest thing from you.”

She blinks back at him like that’s the dumbest thing she’s ever heard. “You’re a bad liar, Seb. And anyways, if that were even a little bit true, you wouldn’t have iced me out when we were fifteen. Try again.”

“We had an agreement,” I cut in, hoping that a long overdue dose of honesty may help smooth things over. “Since both of us had a thing for you, we decided the only way to preserve our friendship would be to make it so you were off-limits. We made a deal…”

“Whoa, hold up,” River interjects, flinching back. “You made a deal ?” Her eyes narrow, sliding between the two of us furiously. “Why wasn’t I ever consulted in this bullshit?”

“Because it was too hard being around you, knowing we could never act on how we really felt,” I explain.

Shit, now that I say it out loud, the logic doesn’t seem near as sound as it did when we were fifteen.

“But this solves everything,” Seb adds, glancing over at me as he recalls our prior conversation. “If we’re both bonded to you, then it can’t ruin our friendship. We all get what we want.”

She arches a dubious brow. “ All? What part of me saying I want nothing to do with you two are you not understanding?”

A growl rumbles in Seb’s chest. “But we’re fated mates.”

“So let me get this straight,” she deadpans, folding her arms tightly across her chest. “You two made a deal to shut me out, ignored me for years, made my life hell for the past two weeks when we were forced to be around each other again, and now, all of that should be forgiven just because fate seems to have gotten confused and bonded you both to me?”

Seb drags a hand through his hair, shrugging a shoulder sheepishly. “Well, yeah.”

“Ugh!” she yells in frustration, abruptly turning on a heel and stomping out of the kitchen.

Shit, this is going badly. I’m not sure it could get any worse. Because she’s right, Seb and I fucked this up years ago. If we hadn’t pushed her away, maybe she’d actually be excited right now, embracing us as her mates with open arms, glad fate gave her two bonds so she never had to choose. But we did, and now she’s returning the favor tenfold. I finally understand what it must’ve been like for her when we cut ties, because being on the receiving end of this kind of rejection sucks .

What if there’s no coming back from it?

Seb and I share a glance before taking off after River, chasing her out of the kitchen and down the hallway. She seems determined to evade us, quickening her pace as we close the distance.

“Stop running away from me, damnit!” Seb growls, snatching her arm and yanking her to a stop. “You’re my mate, you need to fucking accept it.”

She bats his hand away with a scowl. “I don’t need to do shit. How about you back the fuck off, Seb? Hmm?” Coppery shimmers ignite in her irises, her wolf pushing forward in warning.

“Sorry, can’t,” Seb grits out as he steps even further into her space. “You’re mine .”

“I’m most definitely not yours,” she huffs, pushing against his chest and stumbling backwards when she fails to move him. “Maybe once upon a time, but I haven’t been your anything in years.”

“She’s right, this is fucked,” I grumble as I swipe a hand over the top of my skull, my closely cropped hair tickling my palm. I can usually stay cool in the face of conflict, but this is too much, even for me. There’s a wild energy coursing through my veins, agitating my wolf to the point where I feel like I’m seconds from detonation. Staying here and continuing this conversation how it’s been going would be akin to pulling the pin on a grenade.

I need a minute to breathe.

“Hey, where are you going?” Seb demands as I turn to walk away.

“I need some fuckin’ air, alright?” I snap.

Both he and River flinch in response to my tone, blinking at me in surprise. Guess I can’t blame them. It’s rare for me to pop off like that, but this whole night has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it feels like the bond is somehow amplifying them. I’ve gotta take a second to catch my breath before I fucking implode.

Heaving a sigh of frustration, I take off down the hall, leaving Seb and River behind to battle it out as I head for the front door of the packhouse. I practically take the damn thing off its hinges when I rip it open, stumbling outside and yanking it closed behind me.

Breathe, Ace.

I press my eyes closed, rubbing my fingers against my temple in an effort to alleviate the throbbing in my head. After sucking in a few deep breaths of fresh oxygen, I stumble over to the edge of the front stoop, dropping down to sit on it and digging a hand into the pocket of my jeans. My fingers close around the joint and lighter I brought along for after the full moon run. It’s exactly what I need right now to take the edge off.

Fishing them out of my pocket, I pinch the joint between my lips and flip back the lid on my Zippo, lighting the end. The moment I drag the smoke into my lungs, a sense of calm washes over me.

Staring blankly into the distance, I puff on the joint, trying my best to clear my mind and get a handle on myself. I have no idea how this is going to work between the three of us. Judging by River’s reaction in there, the outlook is pretty bleak right now. It’s amazing how quickly this went from being the best night of my life to the worst.

The front door opens behind me, but I don’t need to look over my shoulder to know who it is. I can sense Seb’s familiar presence the moment he steps outside, his heavy footfalls vibrating the cement stoop as he comes over to join me, easing down to sit on the opposite side.

“Hey man, you good?” he asks tentatively.

I take a long toke, holding the smoke in my lungs while I pull the joint from my lips and hold it in front of my face. I stare at it as I exhale, the whoosh of air making the ember flare brighter as tiny pieces of ash flutter away from the tip.

“Yeah,” I murmur, still staring off into the distance as I extend my hand in his direction to offer up the joint.

He leans over to take it, bringing it to his lips and taking a drag.

The door opens again, and once more, I don’t have to look up to see who it is. The bond in my chest pulls taut as River steps outside, closing the door behind her and shuffling toward the front of the stoop. She steps off and drops down to take a seat between us, Seb silently passing her the joint.

The tip glows brighter in my peripheral vision as she puffs on it, whisps of smoke curling in the air. Then she hands it back over to me. We continue to share the remainder in silence, passing it back and forth while staring off into the distance as it burns down, a fragile sense of peace settling over us.

Distantly, I hear the commotion of the pack returning from their run, the hum of excited conversation emanating from the back lawn and inside the packhouse. When the joint is reduced to nothing more than a roach, I take one last hit before tossing it on the ground, watching the orange glow fade as the air extinguishes it.

“Thanks,” River breathes as she pushes to her feet, dusting off the back of her sweatpants.

Seb shoots up beside her, brow furrowing as he swivels in her direction. “That’s it?”

“What else is there?” she mutters.

“Figuring this whole thing out, for one,” he replies dryly. “I know we’ve been dicks, but you’ve gotta give us a chance to make it up to you.”

River folds her arms over her chest, cocking her head with a scowl. “Why should I?”

Seb opens his mouth to respond, but she cuts him off by holding up a hand.

“And don’t say fate.”

He snaps his mouth shut, Adam’s apple bobbing with a hard swallow. I can see the conflict in his eyes as he struggles to piece together the right words to respond to her question. Words have never been his strong suit.

“Because he wants this,” I say, easing up from the stoop. “He wants you. So much that he’s willing to go against his own nature and share you with me, because he’d rather have half of your heart than none at all.”

Seb jerks a nod, like I took the words right out of his mouth. You’re welcome, bro.

River’s head swings back and forth as she glances between us, lips pursing in consideration.

“I feel the same damn way,” I grumble, shifting closer to her. “I have no idea how this is supposed to work, but I want it to because I’m crazy about you, babygirl. Always have been.”

She sucks in a breath, lashes fluttering as she blinks those hazel eyes at me, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Please just give us a chance,” I rasp, brushing the back of my hand against hers.

She flinches at the sparks that erupt between our skin, taking a step backwards up onto the stoop.

“I’m gonna need some time to sit with this,” she murmurs, pursing her lips again as she glances between us, backing toward the door. “Tonight has been… I just…” she trails off, shaking her head. “I can’t even think straight right now.”

She spins around, dark hair whipping through the air as she reaches for the door handle and pushes it open. Sounds of revelry from within the packhouse spill outside, tainting the quiet and setting my teeth on edge.

“Riv, wait,” Seb barks, but she’s already fleeing again. And like the fucking idiots we are, Seb and I go after her for the third time tonight, determined to change her mind.

River pushes her way through the crowd inside the packhouse, making a beeline for her cousin as soon as she spots her. Avery’s brow creases in concern as Riv approaches her and throws a thumb over her shoulder in our direction.

“Make them leave,” she huffs.

“What’s going on?” Avery asks, looking over at the two of us as we approach. Her eyes narrow, lips drawing into a frown. “What’d you do?”

Before I can respond, River yanks Avery aside, cupping a hand around her mouth to whisper in her cousin’s ear. Avery’s eyes go wide and she jerks back, looking around wildly. “Be right back,” she tells Riv, racing for her twin brother across the room.

Avery whispers to Madd, who aims a murderous glare toward me and Seb before whistling loudly to get his pack’s attention, the chatter of the crowd dying down in an instant.

“We’ve had a family matter come up that we need to attend to, so we’re relocating the pack afterparty to the Goldenleaf bar,” Madd announces. “Head over there now, drinks are on me.”

The pack cheers, obviously pleased with this turn of events, and I step aside to watch numbly as people begin filing out the front door of the packhouse. Within ten minutes, they’re all gone, and it’s just us and River’s family left behind. We wander toward the living room where they’re convened, River’s aunt and uncle glancing between Seb and I warily while her cousins and their mates exchange words in low voices.

“Somebody wanna clue us in as to what’s going on?” River’s Uncle Gray asks calmly, folding his arms across his chest.

River steps over to the nearest couch and falls backwards onto it, resting her elbows on her knees and burying her face in her hands. My wolf pushes forward with the urge to help or comfort her somehow, and Seb must feel it to, because he speaks up to clear the air.

“We’re her mates,” he announces.

The room falls so silent that you could hear a pin drop, everyone holding their breath in shock.

“Who?” River’s Aunt Fallon questions, wrinkling her nose.

“Both of them,” Sloane states, the corner of her mouth lifting in the faintest smirk.

Madd shakes his head with a scowl. “That’s impossible.”

“Not impossible,” Gray murmurs, swiping a hand over his chin in contemplation. “I’ve heard of it happening before. Never to anyone I’ve known, but it’s not completely unheard of for one shifter to be bonded to two mates.”

I release a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding, that tidbit of information bringing more relief with it than anything has thus far tonight. If bonding to two mates is in fact possible, then that means all hope isn’t lost. This could still work if we can somehow fix everything we’ve destroyed over the past few years.

Avery’s mate groans beside her, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Learn something new every day,” Cam mutters, shaking his head.

River’s shoulder’s sag in defeat and Fallon rushes toward her niece, dropping down on the couch beside her and slinging an arm over her shoulders in comfort. Avery picks up on the cue and quickly follows suit, taking up residence on River’s other side while Sloane crouches down in front of her, all three women lending their support and whispering quiet words of reassurance.

Meanwhile, Madd’s eyeing me and Seb as if he’s contemplating how to kill us both and dispose of our bodies.

“This can’t get back to my dad, not yet,” River says, her voice muffled behind her palms. “He’ll freak out.”

“Shit, I didn’t even think about Theo,” Gray mumbles. “He’s gonna…”

“Gray!” Fallon snaps, cutting him a glare that has him clamping his mouth shut.

River finally lifts her head from her hands to look around the room. “Seriously, he can’t know,” she rasps, pale-faced and wide-eyed. “There’s already enough drama with the challenge…”

“What challenge?” Seb snarls, cutting her off.

She glances back at him, wincing slightly as she says, “Jake declared a challenge for Alpha rank tonight.”

“Against Theo?” Gray scoffs.

Riv gives a little shake of her head, her expression solemn. “Against me .”

It feels like those two words suck all the air out of the room, my heart tripping over its valves.

“But you’re not Alpha yet,” Fallon points out, blue eyes widening in bewilderment.

“Apparently that doesn’t matter,” River grumbles. “I’ve been announced as the next Alpha, so that means I can be challenged.”

“That’s true,” Gray confirms with a reluctant nod. “Are we talking about Jake Decker, Cory’s son?”

River nods grimly.

“What the fuck,” Seb growls, pushing off from the wall and pacing across the room toward her. “How dare he? I’ll pulverize that little fucker, he won’t be able to challenge you if I break every bone in his body beforehand.”

River rolls her eyes, groaning. “Can you just stop? I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me, and for the record, you’re still on my shitlist. So just stop .”

“But how are you gonna…?” Avery starts to ask, promptly cutting off when River snaps her head in her cousin’s direction to deliver a pointed look.

They’re hiding something. There’s more to this than the audacity of Jake’s challenge, I can feel it.

“Did he say when?” Madd asks, the muscle in his tightly-clenched jaw ticking.

“Next full moon,” River replies.

Avery blows out a breath, shaking her head. “Shit, girl, you’ve had a night .”

Riv snorts a laugh. “Tell me about it.”

An uncomfortable pause ensues, everyone glancing at one another warily while the reality of the situation settles over all of us.

“Alright, so here’s what’s gonna happen,” Fallon announces, the sharp tone of her voice commanding everyone’s attention. “None of this leaves this room until River’s ready,” she states, sliding her hand over Riv’s and giving it a squeeze. “She’s got enough on her plate already, and the last thing she needs is Theo going on the warpath. With everything else going on, he’ll probably lock her up and throw away the key, and I think we all know that isn’t the answer here.” She turns to face River, her expression softening. “I think you should consider telling your mom, though. She’s always got great advice, and I’ll bet she could help you try to sort through all of this.”

River jerks a reluctant nod. “Yeah, maybe,” she mutters.

Fallon swings her gaze over to me and Seb. “You two better watch yourselves and not give River any grief in the meantime,” she warns. “My sister’s mate isn’t known for being calm or understanding when it comes to his daughter.”

“Yeah,” I agree, nodding my head emphatically.

She turns back to Riv, stroking her hair away from her face gently. “You want a ride home, or are you staying the night?”

“Can I stay?” River croaks.

Fallon smiles warmly, looping her arms around her niece’s shoulders and pulling her in for a hug. “Of course.”

“Can we stay?” Seb pipes up.

“No,” River and Avery answer in unison, pointing twin glares in his direction.

Seb frowns, grunting in dissatisfaction as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “But we’re mates, Riv. How are we gonna figure this shit out if…”

“I’m not ready to deal with you two yet,” she snaps back, frowning. “Don’t tell anyone about this, and maybe I’ll think about talking to you guys on Monday when I’m back at the complex.”

“Okay,” I concede. “That’s fair.”

Seb shoots me a side-eyed glance that says he doesn’t agree with leaving her behind, but we don’t really have a choice. We’re the ones who did the damage here. The ball is firmly in her court, and respecting her wishes right now could go a long way. It’s a step in the right direction, at least.

“Fine,” he grits out, pinning River with a stare. “We’ll go. But this definitely isn’t over.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she sighs, waving a hand at him dismissively. “Goodnight, boys.”

Seb stiffens, looking like he’s about to fire off some snide retort, and I elbow him in the ribs to prevent that from happening, giving him a hard look that says to leave it. Maybe the best thing for all of us right now is some space to wrap our heads around this.

He turns sharply to head in the direction of the front door, and I cast one last, longing glance in River’s direction before I follow, my chest aching with every step of retreat. Even though leaving is the last thing I want to do right now, I comply with her wishes.

Even though in doing so, it feels like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind.