Page 17 of Brutal Reign (Shadowed Heirs #5)
17
I drag in a deep breath, holding for a count of three before releasing it. Then I draw another, holding for a count of four this time. As I slowly exhale, going through the motions of this well-practiced ritual to center myself, my pre-shift mantra echoes through my mind.
I’m safe. I’m at peace. I’m in control.
Honestly, I’m not sure whether meditating like this actually even works. My mom taught me these calming exercises, though, and since she’s the smartest person I know, I’ve made them part of my routine whenever I know I’m going to let my wolf out to play.
My pack should be arriving soon. Every month, we gather here at the packhouse before shifting to run together under the light of the full moon. It’s the time when our wolves are at their strongest, fueled by the moon’s energy and instinctively called to run beneath it. Not only is it a monthly bonding exercise for our pack, but it’s also the only time when mate bonds can be forged, either chosen and sealed, or gifted by fate itself.
I’ve never bothered dressing up for the occasion before, but since my dad made my eventual ascension to Alpha rank official by announcing it before our last full moon run, I’m suddenly under a microscope. I feel the way the pack’s already looking at me differently, as if they’re searching for signs of weakness or doubting my capability to lead. It’s ridiculous that I have to endure this kind of scrutiny; taking the Alpha rank wouldn’t even be questioned if I was born a man.
Since I wasn’t, I’m dressed like the confident badass I hope to actually be someday, rocking pleather leggings, a bralette, and a sheer jersey– all in black. I’ve got my hair slicked back in a high ponytail, and I actually took the time to do my makeup for once. In the words of Taylor Swift, I’ve drawn the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man, and damn does it look fierce. When heads turn my way tonight, they won’t see the sweet little Alpha’s daughter. They’ll see an Alpha in her own right.
Or at least that’s the goal. I’m training to become a warrior, so it’s about time I started acting like one. No more hanging in the back, hoping to slip by unnoticed on full moon nights. It’s time to assert my rightful place as the Alpha heir.
I do a few more rounds of deep breathing before I call it good, checking my reflection in the mirror one last time before leaving my bedroom and heading downstairs. I’m feeling good, completely at peace and ready to burn off some energy in my wolf form. Of course, I should know by now that when things seem to be going well, it’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops– and I’m halfway down the stairs when the mention of my name stops me in my tracks, prompting me to grind to a halt with my hand gripping the railing as I listen in on the conversation happening below.
“I’m just saying, it’d put the pack at ease if they knew she had a strong mate to lead with,” Cory’s deep voice rumbles. It’s easily recognizable to me– he’s my dad’s Beta, so he’s been around my entire life.
“She’s too young for a mate,” my dad growls in response.
“She’s the same age I was when Cory and I mated,” I hear Ellie point out. I’m not a big fan of Cory’s mate; she’s never been particularly warm and fuzzy toward me, and she’s always tossing her unsolicited opinion around like she knows best when she definitely doesn’t . “And the same age as Brooke when you two…”
“If fate intervenes, that’s one thing,” Dad snarls, cutting her off, “but I won’t pressure my daughter to choose a mate just because she’s in line to be Alpha. Hell, I’d be happy if she never mated.”
“But who’s to say fate will match her with someone fit to lead?” Ellie counters. “I mean, look what happened to Avery Kessler.” She snorts a laugh, the snide sound of it setting my teeth on edge. “Can’t imagine your sister was happy about that one.”
“My sister is thrilled for Avery, actually,” Mom snaps. Ooh, that’s her annoyed voice, Ellie better tread carefully. “Like me, she prioritizes her daughter’s happiness over pack politics.”
Warmth blooms in my chest in response to her words. Love you, Mom.
“River and Jake make sense together,” Ellie presses.
I almost lose my footing and trip down the stairs, because What. The Actual. Fuck .
Did Jake put his parents up to this? Wasn’t it enough that I turned him down once? And moreover, aren’t we long past the archaic ways of arranged pairings for political motivations? I can’t even believe this is a topic of discussion in the first place, and thank fuck my parents seem to be on the same page as I am.
“If River and Jake liked each other and wanted to mate, that’d be one thing,” Mom replies in a clipped tone. “But we won’t be pressuring her to choose a mate, and we definitely won’t dictate who that mate has to be.”
“This conversation is over,” Dad barks, the threatening edge in his voice raising goosebumps on my own skin. “It never should’ve even begun in the first place. Cory, if you’re questioning my decision to install my heir as Alpha, then you have no business being my Beta.”
“I never said that,” Cory rushes out, immediately backpedaling. “You know you always have my full support. It was merely a suggestion, and I meant no disrespect, Alpha. To you or to River.”
“Then you won’t ever bring this up again,” my father snarls back.
I’m gripping the handrail so hard that my fingers have gone numb. I knew things would change after Dad made that announcement last month, but I never imagined people would start making powerplays this soon.
As if I wasn’t already feeling the pressure.
I startle at the sound of approaching footsteps from below, resuming my descent by stumbling down a few more stairs before my mom steps into view at the bottom.
“Hey, honey,” she greets warmly. “I was just coming to check on you, the pack should start arriving any minute.” Her eyes flicker over my attire, a smirk lifting the corner of her mouth as they ping back up to meet mine. “You have a date I don’t know about?”
“Just trying on a new look,” I say, attempting to sound casual as I descend the last few steps.
As much as I want to ask her what the hell I just overheard, now isn’t the time to allow myself to get worked up. I need to stay calm and centered for this run.
I’m safe. I’m at peace. I’m in control.
“Did you do your exercises?” Mom asks quietly as I approach, her brows pinching together in concern. She can always tell when something’s up with me.
“Yep,” I reply with an emphatic nod. “All ready to run.” I force a cheerful, unbothered smile, and luckily, she seems to buy it.
The two of us make our way over to the living room, and I pointedly keep my distance from Cory, Ellie, and Jake as the first few members of our pack start to filter in. Within ten minutes, the packhouse fills up, bustling with activity like it always is before a full moon run.
Hayden finds me the moment she arrives, and I hang with her, making small talk and trying to put the conversation I overheard out of my mind until the last of the stragglers show up. Then my dad calls me over to join him at the front of the room, and I take my place beside my mom while he steps forward to start in on the pre-run announcements.
This part is usually boring for me, but since I’ve been away at the squad complex for the past two weeks, I’m out of the loop as to what’s been going on around here. Hearing the pack updates actually makes me miss home for the first time since I left. Dad keeps it short and sweet as always, knowing everyone’s itching to get outside and shift, and I can feel the energy escalate in the room as he wraps up.
“Alright,” he barks, rubbing his palms together eagerly as he sweeps his gaze over the gathered crowd. “Anything else before we run?”
“I have something!” Jake calls out.
My heart stutters in my chest as he steps forward, the rest of the pack looking on curiously while my mouth goes dry and my stomach bottoms out.
“You announced last month that River will succeed you as Alpha,” Jake says, gaze flickering towards me before returning to my father. He stands a little taller, lifting his chin confidently as he meets his stare. “I’m making a formal challenge for Alpha rank.”
The room draws a collective gasp. My own lungs cease to function, my breath caught somewhere in my throat as my blood turns to ice in my veins. All I can do is blink at Jake in disbelief, certain I must’ve just hallucinated.
“Against me?” Dad asks, his voice eerily calm.
Jake jerks his chin in my direction. “Against River.”
“She’s not Alpha yet.”
“She’s been announced as the next in line, so according to shifter law, that opens her up for a challenge.”
I’ve gone so numb that I barely feel my mom’s hand grab for mine, her fingers threading between my own. She squeezes three times in a silent question, asking if I’m okay, but I can’t squeeze back.
I’m not okay.
“Are you sure you want to do that, Jake?” Dad questions, narrowing his eyes threateningly. “Once you’ve issued a challenge, you can’t take it back. And if you don’t succeed, the consequence is exile.”
Jake puffs out his chest, looking more self-assured than I’ve ever seen him. “I’m sure. This pack needs a strong Alpha at the helm after you step down, and I believe I’m the man for the job.”
Fuck.
“Name the time and place,” Dad growls.
Fuck.
Jake smiles in my direction. “Here, next full moon.”
FUCK.
“River, do you accept?”
I whip my head sideways to stare at my dad, the room falling so silent you could hear a pin drop. He cocks a brow to punctuate his question, and I know there’s only one right answer. If I say no, I’m essentially handing the Alpha rank to Jake on a silver platter. He’d run this damn pack into the ground– destroy my family’s legacy– all because I bruised his ego.
Or maybe I was so caught off guard by the way he approached me that night that I missed the bigger picture here. Maybe it was never really about me rejecting his advances, but thwarting his grab for power. He’s the snake in the grass that I never saw coming.
If I refuse to accept his challenge, then it’s all over right now. He wins. But if I accept, then I’ve got a month before the next full moon to figure out how the hell to get out of this.
I turn to look at Jake, clocking the smug arrogance written all over his face. He has no idea what he’s just set into motion . My inner wolf thrashes in my chest with the promise of violence as I step forward, holding his stare unblinkingly. “I accept,” I say confidently, internally panicking while putting on the performance of a lifetime.
Dad nods in approval, then abruptly turns on a heel to start toward the back doors of the packhouse. “Let’s go fucking run,” he growls as he rucks his shirt off over his head, barely containing his fury as he stomps away.
Everyone else stands there frozen for a moment, blinking in bewilderment. It seems I’m not the only one who was taken by complete surprise at Jake’s challenge, and I suppose it should be some comfort that this wasn’t all part of an organized coup. Even Cory looks blindsided, but when I shift my gaze to Ellie standing beside him… yeah, that bitch knew. She probably encouraged it.
I turn my gaze on my mother, feeling helpless as my brain trips over itself to process what just happened. “Mom, what’s…?” I whisper, but she silences me with a subtle shake of her head.
“Later,” she whispers back, grabbing for my hand and pulling me to follow her toward the back of the packhouse.
She’s right- we can’t have this conversation now, with the rest of the pack looking on. At this moment, I’m still the Alpha heir, and I need to keep up appearances.
My inner beast claws at my insides the moment I step out into the moonlight. She’s all riled up, which means this is the absolute worst time to let her take the reins. When I have a clear head, I can usually keep her in line, but when I’m overwhelmed and she feels threatened…
So much for those calming exercises.
Forget running with my pack, I need to run as far away from here as I possibly can. We always begin the run by heading north, and if I keep going, I’ll cross over into Goldenleaf’s territory. Sloane did say I’d be welcome there tonight…
Shit, was this what she was trying to warn me about?
My mom quickly leads me across the lawn, putting us safely out of earshot of the rest of the pack before pivoting to face me. “How’s your wolf?” she asks, brows knitting together in concern as she reaches up to cup my face.
“Not good,” I rasp.
She nods slowly, sweeping her thumb back and forth soothingly over the apple of my cheek. “Do you think you can keep a handle on her, or do you need to leave?”
“I need to leave,” I croak. “I can head for Goldenleaf, but if she senses Jake’s wolf…”
“I’ll hold the pack off by waiting to shift, and I’ll explain everything to your dad after,” she says curtly, keeping a level head as always.
“Okay,” I breathe, fighting back tears as she takes a step back and glances over at my dad. She gives him a nod, and he promptly shifts to his wolf, throwing back his head and howling to the moon to signal the start of the run.
Pack hierarchy dictates that as the Alpha heir, I’m the next to shift, and I don’t waste a second. My wolf bursts through my skin the moment I call her forward, the air around me shimmering as I take on my animal form. As soon as my paws hit the ground, I take off for the treeline with a swift kick of my hind legs, bound and determined to put as much distance as possible between me and the rest of the pack before they shift to their wolves. They’ll wait for my mom to shift first, out of deference to their Luna, and I can only hope she’ll buy me enough time to make my getaway.
The trees blur around me as I sprint through the forest, veering off from the usual path and heading due north. My mind’s spinning, my wolf actively trying to batter me back so she can take full control. She wants blood in payment for Jake’s threat to our position. It takes a great deal of effort to prevent her from taking over completely, and by the time I hear the chorus of howls from my pack start up behind me, I’ve already made it halfway to the border of our territory.
Thankfully, my wolf doesn’t fight my directive to continue north. I swear it almost feels like she’s running toward something rather than away from it. It’s a damn good thing my wolf doesn’t hate running as much as I do, or we’d be royally fucked right now. Unlike when I’m in my human form, my wolf never seems to tire, even as the miles stretch on. Before I know it, I’m crossing the stream at the border of our territory, my internal compass guiding me toward the heart of Goldenleaf.
As I’m heading for the packhouse, I suddenly catch a scent on the breeze that makes my wolf perk up with interest. It’s faint, oddly familiar somehow, and something about that scent immediately kicks my wolf into a frenzied state. We were heading for the packhouse, but she abruptly veers off course, intent on tracking the scent despite my efforts to pull her back.
The stronger the scent becomes, the sharper the tugging sensation in my chest gets, as if I’m being pulled by an invisible string. I can only assume it’s Jake my wolf is sensing– that he followed me here– and the thought of confronting him right now is fucking terrifying. If she gets ahold of him, I won’t be able to pull her back from the brink. It’ll be a fucking bloodbath.
Both the scent and the drive to get to it becomes overwhelming; my singular focus and purpose. As I come upon a clearing, I spot another wolf charging in my direction, seemingly drawn by the same force. It’s not Jake, but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize him all the same.
The giant black wolf is all too familiar, his glossy black fur shining in the moonlight as we both skid to a stop before colliding. A silver wolf is right on his heels, and as he grinds to a halt beside his buddy, my own wolf suddenly pulls back, launching me into a shift. The air shimmers around me like diamonds, my bones snapping and rearranging until I’m human again.
I blink my eyes open to find Seb and Ace standing across from me in their human forms, the glow of the moon highlighting every contour of their chiseled, muscular physiques. It should be a fucking crime to look that good naked, and I hate how my gaze unwittingly tours each of their forms before lifting to meet their eyes.
Fate doesn’t play fair. The moment our gazes lock, I feel it happen- a harsh yanking sensation erupting in my chest as the mate bond snaps in between me and…
Both of them.