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THIRTY-ONE

willa

“Do I really have to stay here?” I complain as I sprawl out on Belle and Kai’s couch.

“You don’t want to have a sleepover with me?” Belle asks teasingly. We left dinner last night on much better terms.

“I don’t want to snuggle with you and Kai.”

“He can sleep in the guest room,” Belle says.

“No fucking way. I’m sleeping with you,” Kai says, pulling Belle into him. She laughs, but he’s frowning like he actually thinks I’m going to try to take her from him.

“I’m up for a snuggle party.” I shrug casually, like I’d ever get into a bed with the two of them. I’d barely be able to lie down before they’d go at it.

“I sleep naked,” Kai says immediately.

“Gross.” I scrunch up my nose. “You’ll have to put clothes on tonight, so I’m not uncomfortable.”

“You’re not sleeping in my bed, Willa!” Kai shouts.

“I’m sleeping in Belle’s bed.”

“That’s my bed!” I snort at how angry he’s getting. I’m about to rile him up some more when the doorbell rings, followed by an aggressive knock.

“I’ll call security,” Belle says. Cal forced everyone to agree to a lockdown while the gatehouse was still a crime scene. They’re keeping the gates open while the authorities do what they need to do, and he’s freaked out about people being able to get in. But that also means no one we know could be at the door.

“Willa!”

“Declan?” I fly off the couch, trip over the side table, bump into a wall, and run straight for the door. I open it as quickly as I can to my husband’s panicked face. The moment he sees me, he pulls me into his arms.

“Fuck, Princess,” he sighs into my hair. His strong arms are tight around me, squeezing so tight it’s hard to breathe. Yet somehow, it feels like the first time I’ve been able to take a deep breath.

“I told you I was okay,” I say into his neck.

“I need to see for myself. I had to have you in my arms, or I was going to lose it. I almost lost it on the fucking plane over here.” He fists my hair, pulling my head back just enough to claim my lips.

“Does this mean I get to sleep in my bed?” Kai asks.

Declan ignores him, carrying me out the door and into our house. He wastes no time carrying me through the house and up the stairs to our bedroom. He tosses me on the bed and quickly shucks his jacket and shoes, followed closely by the rest of his clothes. I do the same until we’re both naked and staring at each other.

“I need to feel you inside me.”

Declan ignores me, dropping to his knees at the end of the bed and yanking me to the edge. Instead of spreading my legs like he wants me to, I sit up and hold his face in both my hands, forcing him to look at me.

“I need you to listen,” I tell him. “When my mom died, I measured time by days after her. When we went camping that first summer without her, it was two hundred and forty-six days since she died. When I turned eleven, it was one thousand one hundred and sixteen days without Mom. But the summer that year, I don’t know if you remember,” I say and Declan smiles, “it was the first year my dad finally started letting us go off on our own. We hiked, swam in the lake, went to those square-dancing nights the campground held every Friday.” We both laugh at the memory of us tripping over our own feet. I stroke Dec’s cheeks with my thumbs. “That’s when I started measuring my life in moments. What I didn’t realize until recently was that those moments were you. I measured time from the moment we said goodbye until the moment I jumped into your arms to say hello again. The moments in between goodbye and hello were so small compared to the ones between hello and goodbye.”

“Willa,” Declan says, voice thick with emotion.

“I don’t know what you’re waiting for me to be ready for or what moment you think we need to be in. But I’m here, Dec. I’m here in this moment with you. I’m with you.”

Declan surges to his feet, pulling me with him. His mouth crashes into mine. The urgency and desperation in his kiss is a stark contrast to the gentle way he lays me down in the middle of the bed. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want Declan in this moment.

“Please,” I moan into his mouth, trying to grind myself against him, desperately seeking the friction of his body.

“You’re beautiful when you beg, Princess.”

“Please, baby.” I watch how feral my words make him, his pupils so large they’re almost completely blocking out the green of his irises. Declan grabs my hips and thrusts, burying himself inside me. “You’re going to split me in half,” I gasp.

“No, I won’t. You were made for me, Princess. Look how well you take me.” He leans back on his heels, eyes glued to the spot where our bodies connect. His hips move slowly, hitting a spot so deep inside me I’m seeing stars with every thrust.

“Holy fuck, Declan,” I moan.

“That’s it, Willa. Let everyone know who you belong to.”

I dig my heels into his ass, urging him to go faster.

He chuckles, picking up his pace. “This what you wanted? Your husband’s cock drilling you into the mattress?” His dirty words and the hot kisses he places along my neck have me so wound tight I could go off at any moment. “Don’t come yet. You’ll come when I tell you to.”

“What? I can’t,” I pant. “I need to come.”

“You’re doing so good, Princess. Wait until I tell you to.” I nod at his command, frantic to do whatever he tells me to.

“Please please please please,” I mutter, begging.

“I’ve never been able to say no to you,” he whispers in my ear. Declan kisses his way across my jaw and takes my lips. “Come,” he commands. I shoot off like a rocket at his command, screaming his name as I convulse around him. He keeps a steady pace, fucking me through my orgasm before he stills with a low groan, emptying himself inside me.

Declan flips us so that I’m collapsed against his side, our sweaty bodies fused together, chests heaving. I look up at him, my hair a mess against his chest. He kisses me softly, his fingers gently caressing between my legs before they still when they find the mess he left. He breaks the kiss to look down. After less than a minute of hesitation, he scoops his come with his fingers and pushes it back inside of me.

“Do you have a breeding kink?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “I didn’t. It might just be you.” He meets my eyes. “We didn’t use a condom.”

I nod. “I’m on the pill.” He looks at my stomach, splaying his large hand across it, seeming lost in thought. “Dec?”

“I’m in love with you, Willa,” he says when he looks up at me. “I know you’re not ready and that’s okay, but I couldn’t let another moment go by without you knowing how I feel about you.”

I can’t do anything except gape at him, my heart racing. I so badly want to give him those words, but they’re stuck in my throat. He takes my hand, gently kissing my palm.

“It’s okay, Princess. I can wait until you’re ready to tell me.”

I snuggle into him, letting his warmth, his love, wrap me up and lull me to sleep.

I’ve been pouting on Belle’s couch for the better part of three days. Declan still has two more games to play before he can come home. I’ve never missed him the way I do now. He tells me he loves me every day when we talk, but I still can’t get the words out. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t love him like that yet or if I’m too broken to love him at all.

Part of me wants to be selfless and let him go. Tell him to run far away from the broken girl with only shattered remains for a heart. But it’s well established that when it comes to Declan, I’m selfish. I won’t give him up for anything or anyone.

He’s mine.

“What time does Declan’s game start?” Harlow asks, sitting next to me.

“In an hour. You like hockey?” I ask, pretending I knew she was here and didn’t startle me.

She smiles at me like she knows I’m trying to play it cool but doesn’t mention it. “Nope. Well, I might. I’ve never watched it.”

I laugh and shake my head. “You’re escaping Cal, aren’t you?”

“I love that man, but if I spend one more minute with him hovering over me, I will kill him.”

“Have you or your dad found anything?” I ask her. The cameras around the gate were wiped. When Belle and I pulled up to the gate that night, we assumed Dean was on break and just used our code to open it. All the residents have a unique one in case we need to get in when a guard isn’t there. The police pulled the log, and Belle used her code four minutes after the gate was opened using Dean’s button. Which lines up with Maverick’s mom showing up. But that’s all they have right now.

“He’s following a money trail that doesn’t add up. The ports the drugs were funneled through were purchased under a fake name. The police are aware and investigating, but they have to do it legally.” Harrison knows a guy that can hack into almost any system, so he’s able to find things the police either can’t or have to jump over a bunch of red tape to find. “He thinks he can connect the movement of some money from the Wolfes’ account around the time of purchase, but the problem is it’s a joint account.”

“So it could still be either or both of them.”

She sighs. “Pretty much. My dad is hoping he can trace the money to whoever sold it and get answers from them. That name was false in the purchase agreement too, though. So who knows?”

“Pizza!” Kai yells.

“You left to get pizza?” Cal asks, following him inside with Cora on his hip. “We agreed to stay behind locked doors!”

Harlow sighs loudly next to me. “Sorry,” she mutters.

“I did. It was curbside. I only had to open my window,” Kai says.

“We let a viper into our den! You can’t just leave!” Cal exclaims. Belle takes Cora from him, allowing his arms to fly into the air in exasperation.

“You’re being dramatic,” Jo says, walking around him with Maverick on her heels. We’re all watching Dec’s game together tonight since Cal won’t let us go anywhere without this very thing happening.

“I’m being the exact right amount of dramatic!” Cal screams. Cora starts laughing at her dad’s antics.

“Don’t encourage him, Cora girl,” Harlow says, trying to hide her own laughter.

“So, how did your day of research go?” I ask Jo. She texted the group chat this morning saying she was spending the day going through professional sports teams websites trying to find someone who could be Ezra. Our only real lead on him is Jasper, but he swears he hasn’t heard anything from Ezra in over two years. That leaves us with someone who worked for an MLB team in social media who also likes to pick first names that start with ‘e’ and last names that could be first names. Which seems better than nothing, but somehow also feels like nothing.

“There’s an Easton Derrek who works in marketing for a team in Seattle, and an Eli Frank working in public relations for a team in Colorado, but neither panned out. Easton is in his fifties, and Eli’s picture was on the website.” She turns her phone so we can see. Eli has a sweet smile, but he also looks nothing like Ezra.

We drown our disappointment in greasy pizza while watching Declan play. Harlow gets really into it. “I like that one.” She points at the screen. Cal growls next to her and pulls her onto his lap.

“Martinez is a big flirt.” Although, I don’t think all the flirting in the world would get Declan to play better tonight. He’s skating slow, missing passes, and shooting right at the goalie. The cameras keep catching his face. He looks frustrated. I don’t know what’s going on with him.

What’s going on, hockey boy?

I know he can’t text me right now since he’s currently on the ice missing a pass from Ivanov. I’m hoping he’ll look at his phone when the period ends.

“Umm, Willa? I know nothing about hockey, but I think Declan is blowing it,” Harlow says. The period ends after a few more agonizing minutes. Utah is up by three already and there are still two more periods to play.

I watch Declan make his way down the tunnel. His head hung low. The camera catches Gideon, who makes a typing gesture like he’s using a keyboard and points at Declan while looking directly at the camera. He’s telling me I need to talk to my husband.

“I did text him,” I mutter.

Hockey Boy

I can’t keep my mind on the game when I’ve left you alone to deal with everything.

I’m fine, baby. Get your head in the game and show Utah what you’re made of.

I’ll try, Princess.

I sigh. “Alright, everyone. Get in close and smile like you’re having fun.” I hold up my phone and my friends do as I ask. Cal ends up having to hold my phone since his arms are the longest, but he gets a picture of all of us smiling. I send it to Declan immediately.

I’m not alone. I promise I’m okay. We all are. Just focus and do your job. Then come home and do me.

Fuck, Princess. You have no idea how happy that picture just made me.

Or how hard your words made me.

Tonight and tomorrow night and then you’re home.

I’m counting the minutes until I can bury myself in my perfect wife.

I shiver with anticipation as I read his words.

“Please tell me you’re not sexting him right now,” Maverick says, leaning away from me.

“Send him nudes if it gets him to shoot at the fucking net,” Kai mutters.

I ignore them both.

I have to get back out there. I love you, Princess. I’ll call you tonight.

I watch Declan return to the ice; a renewed determination clear in the way he’s skating. I have a love hate relationship with the way I can affect his game without even being there.

Gideon wins the face-off, passing it to Declan who skates around everyone and scores within the first eight seconds of the period.

“I’m going to need you to sext him between every period if they make the playoffs,” Cal says. I snort, but don’t argue.

I watch my husband skate around Utah like their players are just minuscule obstacles. He scores again right before the end of the second period. This time, when his team enters the tunnel, their heads are held high.