Page 30 of Broken Hearts (Hibiscus Hearts #1)

I want to share everything with you. That is what I want to tell her. But I don’t, knowing I can’t say things like that to Sage.

Instead, I pull her closer, deepening our kiss, as I move one hand to the back of her neck, the other to her ass, grabbing the material of her dress.

Sage whimpers, her hands on my chest as I pull the fabric up, only stopping our kiss so I can get it off.

“Come on,”

I whisper, taking her hand in mine as we climb down the rocks and into the pool. It’s warmer than the ocean, even in the shade of the trees.

“How deep is it?”

Sage asks.

“In the middle, very,”

I tell her, walking us in until we’re about waist-deep before I turn and pull her into my arms.

“It’s so beautiful here,”

she says, looking around. “Does anyone else ever come here?”

“Not that I’ve ever seen,”

I say, pulling her in for another kiss. Sage walks us in deeper until she can wrap her legs around my waist, her arms looping around my neck.

I’m already so fucking hard, just being here with her and as my fingers trail up her spine to the tie of her bikini, I smile against her mouth before tugging her top undone. Sage giggles, low and breathy as I pull her bikini top off, throwing it to the rocks surrounding the edge of the pool.

“Fuck, you are beautiful,”

I whisper, as my mouth drops to her breast, licking her nipple before sucking it into my mouth.

“Nate,”

Sage moans, her back arching as her head falls back.

I walk us over to the waterfall, my mouth still on her breast, my hands on her ass beneath the water, grinding her against me. Ever since this thing between us started, I’ve dreamed about bringing her here, dreamed about doing this with her here, even knowing it was probably only ever going to be a one-time thing if it did happen.

I know Sage is leaving and I know she’s going to take a piece of me with her when she goes too, but I still can’t stop myself from wanting her, no matter how much she’s going to break my heart.

It doesn’t matter because it feels like my heart is already hers to do whatever she wants with. I think it’s been hers for a long time, without me even realizing.

“Sage,”

I murmur, backing her up against the rocks beside the waterfall, the water crashing down into the pool and spraying us with mist. “I…,”

I lift my gaze to hers, pausing as words I never expected pop into my head.

Words I’ve never said before.

Words I’ve never heard either.

I love you.

“Fuck,”

I groan, knowing I cannot say these words to her. Not now, not ever. She’s leaving, and me and the shop and everything that’s going to be left behind is never going to be enough for her. I might be sure about what I want, but I’m also sure it’s not the same as what she wants. So instead, I tell her the other truth, “I need you.”

“Yes,”

she whispers, her hands sliding down my chest and stomach to the waistband of my shorts.

But I shake my head, my hands on her hips as I hoist her up so she’s sitting on the rock ledge surrounding the pool. With a grin, I grab the sides of her bikini bottoms, slowly pulling them down her legs and off before dropping them onto the rocks beside her.

I lean in and press a kiss to her lips before I sink to my knees, the sandy bottom of the pool at the perfect height. Beneath the water, I close my hands around her ankles, lifting her feet up and out of the water so they are resting on the rocks and Sage is open and bare to me.

Glancing up, I can see she’s watching me intently, her eyes dark, even as a blush colors her cheeks. Grinning, I lick my lips before leaning in and burying my face in her pussy, my tongue trailing through her wetness to her clit in one slow stroke.

“Oh god,”

she moans, her voice loud even with the noise of the waterfall. “Nate,”

she says, her fingers sliding into my hair, gripping it tight.

I flick my eyes up to her, never taking my mouth off her clit as I continue to lick and suck her as I now slide two fingers inside her. Sage bucks against me, her eyes flying open as she presses on my head, holding my mouth against her as though she’s afraid I’m going to stop.

I don’t ever want to stop.

“So good,”

I hum against her, pumping my fingers as I suck and lick and gently tease her. “So fucking perfect.”

“Nate,”

she groans again, and I swear, my name has never sounded so fucking hot than when it falls from her mouth.

“Tell me,”

I groan, sucking even harder.

Sage bucks against my face again, coming suddenly as she squeezes my fingers so tight, her grip on my hair almost painful. “Fuck,”

she breathes out and when I look up, I can see her chest heaving, the flush on her cheeks now darker as she looks down at me.

Standing, I make quick work of my shorts, pushing them down my legs and kicking them onto the rocks as I grab my dick, giving it one long slow stroke. “C’mere,”

I say, reaching for her.

Sage smiles as my hands find her ass, lifting her off the rocks and back into the pool, her legs wrapping around my hips. I watch as she grabs my dick now, lining me up before I slowly sink inside her.

“Shit,”

I groan, my jaw tight from how good it feels. At how fucking good it looks, sliding inside her. “Sage, fucking hell.”

She moans in response, and I walk us back to the rock edge, so she’s now backed up against it, the water shallow enough that I can watch as I thrust into her, over and over again. Sage grabs one of my hands from her ass and moves it to where we are joined, as though she needs more. My fingers find her clit, gently stroking her as she starts to rock against me. Everything about this moment feels different, more intense somehow, and I really don’t know how I’m going to survive losing her.

Doesn’t matter how many things I’ve lost in my past, the good or the bad, this feels so fucking different. So much more important.

“Nate,”

she breathes out, increasing her tempo as the water from the waterfall mists around us. “Oh god, Nate…I’m gonna…”

I open my eyes, watching as she falls apart in my arms for a second time, never stopping her movements as she grinds against me. But the second she comes, it’s enough to pull me over the edge too, the feel of her clenching around me, the sight of her falling apart. The knowledge that this girl is fucking everything to me is just too much.

“Sage,”

I groan, crashing my mouth against hers as I come hard, filling her, marking her, owning her.

She collapses against me, breathing hard as she buries her face in my neck. My hands are back on her ass, holding her to me, never wanting to let her go, my dick still buried inside her. I walk us backward into the water, until it’s deep enough that we are hidden.

“Wow,”

she eventually breathes out, lifting her head from my shoulder, a sexy smile on her face. “I think this might be my favorite place in the world too.”

I smile, leaning in to kiss her so I don’t blurt out that anywhere she is, is my favorite place. “I’m willing to share it with you,”

I whisper, my lips brushing against hers.

Her smile widens as she kisses me again before asking, “And you’ve never seen anyone else here?”

Smirking, I glance down at where her tits are pressed against my chest. We might be mostly hidden beneath the water, but we’re still in a pretty compromising position if anyone were to come along. Not that I expect them to, because I have never legitimately seen anyone here. Never brought anyone here either.

“Nope,” I say.

Sage glances over her shoulder to where our swimsuits lie on the rocks, well, half of hers considering the top half is on the other side of the pond.

Chuckling, I reluctantly let her go. “Come on, let’s get you covered back up,”

I tell her as we walk over and get dressed.

We hang around in the pool for a bit longer, both of us lying back as we stare up at the sky, not really talking about anything.

I want to ask her what we’re doing. What she feels in this moment and whether she’s really going to be able to walk away from this, but I’m too scared to ask, already knowing the answer she’s going to give me.

Everyone leaves.

My dad.

My mom.

Every foster parent who couldn’t handle me.

Mitch.

Why would Sage be any different, especially when she has a life in New York?

Eventually, we both climb out of the pond, drying off before making our way back to the car.

“Thank you for bringing me here,”

Sage says, taking my hand in hers.

Lifting our joined hands to my mouth, I brush a kiss across her knuckles. “Anytime.”

Back at the shop, I head home to take a quick shower. Just before Sage walks up to the apartment, though, she calls out to me.

“Nate, can you come back when you’re done? There’s something I want to talk to you about?”

She’s watching me, an unreadable expression on her face as she waits for my answer.

A heavy weight settles in my stomach because I already know what this is. And it doesn’t matter how prepared I think I am about the fact that she’s leaving, I know this is still going to destroy me.

Fuck.

I swallow hard, nodding once as I say, “Yeah, of course. Give me ten?”

Sage nods, and I turn and head inside.

I shower quickly, just wanting to get this over with. I know it’s going to hurt. I know she’s about to rip my fucking heart out when she tells me she’s leaving, that she’s selling the shop and going back to New York. But I just need it to be done. I remember when I was a kid, it wasn’t ever the hit that hurt so much as the waiting around for it to happen. The feeling of never knowing when they were going to strike, catch me off guard.

That was the hardest part.

The punches I could learn to take, and this will be no different. I mean, yeah, it’s going to hurt worse than anything else, but hurt I can deal with. Hurt I have been dealing with my entire life.

“Hey,”

she says, smiling as I walk inside.

“Hi,”

I reply, walking over to the open doors to the balcony.

Sage follows after me, standing beside me as we both stare out at the ocean, the sun low in the sky. My heart is pounding in my chest as my hands grip the railing and I will myself not to react, not to say or do anything when she tells me she’s leaving.

“So, I spoke to my dad’s lawyer today.”

Her words are so unexpected that I can’t stop myself from blurting out, “What? When?”

Sage turns so she’s facing me, leaning against the railing of the balcony. “When you were meeting about that custom board,”

she says, offering me a small smile. “And I?—”

“How…I mean…”

“Tanner passed on my number to him,”

Sage says by way of explanation. “He got in contact, saying he wanted to speak to me. So I went and saw him.”

Her words sting, even though they shouldn’t, because she doesn’t have to include me in this. Mitch was her dad, and this is her shop and her apartment, and I’m just some loser kid he took pity on all those years ago. She doesn’t owe me anything.

“Got it,”

I say with a nod, my fist hitting the railing once before I let go. “I’m gonna go,”

I say, not looking at her as I turn and make my way toward the doors.

“Nate, wait, I?—”

She rests her hand on my arm, but I shake it off. It feels like this day has taken a complete one-eighty from this morning. As though waking up in bed with her or going to that pool and everything we did there is a million miles away from where we are now.

“It’s fine, Sage, you don’t have to explain it to me,”

I say, cutting her off. “I always knew you were leaving. Everyone leaves, so it’s… It’s fine.”

“Nate,”

she says, reaching for me again.

I shake my head, stepping away from her, even as it feels like a knife to the gut, especially when I risk a glance at her. “This was never gonna work anyway, right?”

I say with a shrug. “You’re leaving, and I’m just some…well, I’m here, doing whatever.”

I make my way inside even as she calls out to me again, “Nate, don’t say that. We do work, and I?—”

I stop, turn around, anger now coursing through my veins as I force myself to look at her. She stops talking, her eyes wide as she stares at me, a confused look on her face as though she doesn’t understand why I’m reacting like this. Like maybe this wasn’t as big a deal for her as it is for me.

My heart is pounding in my chest as I scrub a hand down my face, knowing exactly what this is. This is it. This is the moment this ends, and even though I knew it was coming, I still can’t help but ask myself, why the fuck does this always happen to me? Why does everyone always leave? Why can’t I ever be enough for someone?

And how the hell can she just walk away from this?

From me?

From us?

“What’s going on?”

she now asks, her fingers twisted together in front of her, her words barely audible, her confusion morphing into worry. “Why are you being like this, saying all this?—”

“Because you’re gonna leave!”

I shout, the anger exploding out of me as I shove both hands through my hair, gripping it tightly. “You’re gonna leave like everyone does, and I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay because I’m fucking in love with you, Sage. But it…it doesn’t matter because that is never gonna be enough. And you’re gonna leave, and…”

I trail off, already knowing I’ve said too much. My heart feels like it’s going to burst through my chest now as I stare at Sage, at the expression on her face, at the tears that now fill her eyes.

I did this.

“Fuck,”

I blow out. “I’m gonna go. Let me know when you need me out of the house,”

I say before I turn and walk down the stairs and through the yard to my place, slamming the door closed behind me, even though I can still hear Sage calling my name.