Page 18 of Broken Hearts (Hibiscus Hearts #1)

I sink to the floor, holding her close as she cries in my arms. She looks hungover and angry and upset and just fucking broken. And seeing her like this cracks something open inside my chest.

I fucking hate how I spoke to her last night. Hate that our fight is the reason she’s like this now. It was my fault for saying all those awful things to her, for just being the way I am.

A fucked up mess. But pushing people away is my default reaction. Everyone who tries to help or acts like they care; I push them away.

Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I am where I am today is because Mitch never took no for an answer, never stopped coming back no matter how much of an asshole I was to him.

After Sage ran off last night, I spent the night sitting on my porch waiting for her to come back, knowing I needed to apologize.

When Eddie called, asking me to come get her, the relief I felt was overwhelming.

And unexpected.

“It’s okay, Sage,”

I whisper, my hand rubbing slow circles on her back.

She lets out another sob, shaking her head against my chest. “It’s not okay,”

she cries. “I hate this. Hate that I fucked everything up.”

I blow out a breath, my head falling back against the wall. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Deep down, Mitch knew you loved him.”

I really have no clue considering that in all the time I knew Mitch, I didn’t even know he had a daughter.

But I do know Mitch, and I know what kind of guy he was. I mean, he never gave up on me and I know that as much as he and Sage didn’t seem to talk, I know that didn’t mean he didn’t love her. That’s not who he was.

She sniffs, scrubbing her face with both hands. “I wasn’t just talking about Mitch,”

she whispers.

My eyes close as I inhale deeply, letting the breath out slowly. I press a kiss to her temple. “Why don’t you take a shower?”

I tell her, ignoring her last comment. “I’ll make you some tea.”

She nods, pulling herself from my arms as she swipes at the tears on her cheeks. As we both stand, she glances at me over her shoulder. “Why are you…”

She trails off, and I don’t know if that’s because she’s unsure what to ask or she knows but isn’t sure she should ask it.

“Take a shower, you’ll feel better,”

I say before turning and walking out of the bathroom.

While Sage showers, I walk into the kitchen. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I fire off a quick text to Alana.

* * *

Me: Gotta take care of some stuff. Can you look after the shop?

Alana: Yeah, sure thing. Everything ok?

* * *

I don’t answer her, instead setting my phone down on the counter as I fill the kettle and get two mugs out. I can hear the shower running, the sound filling the quiet apartment and reminding me again of Sage. Of her in there naked.

“Fucking hell,”

I mutter, moving to the glass doors that lead onto the deck. Opening them fully, I let the sound of the ocean now fill the apartment, desperately needing to scrub those images from my brain.

Doesn’t matter that we fought last night. Doesn’t matter that Sage probably now wants nothing to do with me.

None of it matters because I still want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone.

And it both scares and confuses the shit out of me.

Why the fuck do I want her? Why do I want someone who is literally going to pull my life apart? Not just because she’s leaving, but because she’s going to sell the shop and take away everything I’ve ever cared about.

It’s because she actually cares about you.

The thought pops into my head without warning, and as I head back to the kitchen to make the tea, I’m hit with a weird sense of déjà vu. Of memories of a man who also cared about me. Cared enough to take me in and give me a job and a place to live, even as I raged against it all.

Didn’t matter how many times I pushed Mitch away or told him to go fuck himself, he was always there, waiting for me to get over myself.

I hear the sound of the bathroom door opening and when I turn, I see Sage walk out, her hair wet and a towel wrapped around her body. She glances at me, offering me a quick smile before she grabs some clothes and disappears back into the bathroom. I finish making the tea before taking both cups into the living area, collapsing onto the couch I spent the night sleeping on as I wait for her.

“Thank you,”

she says as she walks over and joins me. She’s wearing a tiny pair of shorts and a tank top, and fuck me, even hungover, she looks gorgeous.

“Feeling better?”

I ask, handing her a mug.

She shrugs, blowing on her tea as she blurts out, “I’m sorry about last night.”

A laugh falls from my mouth. “I think it’s me who needs to apologize,”

I tell her. Sage takes a small sip before putting her mug back on the table. She tucks herself into the corner of the couch, her eyes never leaving mine. “I’m sorry,”

I now whisper, breaking our gaze as I reach for my tea. I’m not even sure what part I’m apologizing for.

The fight.

The kiss.

Begging her to come inside with me.

Sage rests her elbow on the back of the couch, her head resting in her hand. She looks tired and sad as she says, “I met Eddie.”

Chuckling, I nod. “I know. I came and picked you up, remember?”

“You did?”

she asks, a confused look on her face.

I turn on the couch so I’m facing her. “Yeah, Eddie called me when he cut you off on the Mai Tais.”

“Fuck,”

Sage groans, her eyes closing. “Don’t even say it. I am never drinking those things again.”

Smiling, I nudge her leg with my foot. “Step one in being a local,”

I tell her.

Sage offers me a small smile as she blows out a breath. “I really am sorry, Nate,”

she whispers. “I don’t even know why we were fighting anymore, but I’m sorry I…well, I’m sorry, okay.”

Blowing out a breath, I rest my arm along the back of the couch, my fingers brushing against her arm. “Like I said, it’s me that needs to apologize. I know I can be…well, a dick. Your dad certainly called me out on it enough times,”

I add with a smile. “It’s hard for me to…to trust people. To open up to them.”

Sage gives me a small nod, my fingers still resting against her arm, which she hasn’t moved. “I get that,”

she whispers, even though I’m not sure she really does.

“Your dad, Mitch, he was the first person who ever gave a shit about me. The first person I trusted.”

Sage nods again, shifting a little closer on the couch. “I’m glad you had him.”

I swallow hard, wishing to fuck Mitch was still here. I might have only known him for nine years, but it honestly feels like longer. Like I’ve known him forever, and I really don’t know what I’m going to do without him.

“I’ve been in the system my entire life,”

I say, reaching for my tea again, still feeling the weight of Sage’s gaze on me. “Since I was…I don’t know, really young.”

Sage shifts even closer, her hand moving to my leg. I flinch without meaning to, her touch sending a jolt of electricity right through me, but she doesn’t move her hand. “I’m sorry,”

she whispers.

I don’t want her pity though; I’ve never wanted anyone’s pity. “Your dad…Mitch, he…”

I pause, swallowing hard because I’ve never told this to anyone, never talked about my past or how Mitch helped me. None of it. “Losing him fucking gutted me,” I say.

“Nate,”

Sage whispers, taking my hand in hers.

I link our fingers together, taking another sip of my tea before putting the mug on the table. “Your dad saved my life, Sage, and…”

My eyes suddenly fill with tears, and I close them, willing myself not to break down and cry.

I’ve tried not to think about the day Mitch died, but it’s always there, lingering at the back of my mind. The way he asked me and Alana to go surfing with him. The way we both said no, preferring instead to go to some party with Kai and Miles and a bunch of other people.

The phone call I got from Tanner the next morning, telling me what happened.

“Are you okay?”

Sage now asks, and when I look over, I can see her eyes are wet with tears.

Smiling, I squeeze her hand in mine. “I think the bigger question is, are you okay? You feeling better?”

Sage tilts her head to the side, a look on her face that tells me she knows I’m deflecting. Which I am. “A little, yeah. Could probably do with some more sleep if this apartment wasn’t like living on the surface of the sun.”

Chuckling, I lift our joined hands, resting them along the back of the couch as I look at her. Her beautiful blue eyes are a little bloodshot this morning, with dark circles beneath them. “Another thing you’ll need to get used to if you wanna be a local,” I tease.

She turns to the open doors and the sun that’s streaming into the apartment. “I think if I lived here, I’d…”

She starts, before trailing off, as though she suddenly remembers that her being here and deciding what to do with this place is the big elephant in the room that is constantly with us.

“You get used to it,”

I tell her, choosing to ignore the elephant. “And maybe if you got into surfing, you’d appreciate it.”

Now it’s Sage laughing. “I’m not sure I’d be any good at surfing.”

“You ever actually tried?”

“Nope,”

she says, shaking her head, her smile disappearing. “I always blew him off when he suggested it.”

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I could teach you,”

I say, my words quiet.

Sage swallows, licking her lips as she watches me. “You’d do that?”

she asks, an almost nervous edge to her question.

“Yeah,”

I whisper.

Before she can say anything else, she yawns, laughing a little as she says, “Shit, sorry.”

I squeeze her hand. “Maybe you should try and get some more sleep?”

“Yeah, maybe,”

she says before surprising the shit out of me when she moves closer on the couch and lays against me.

And just like that, my heart is pounding in my chest again as memories of last night flash through my brain: the way she felt pressed against me, sitting in my lap, her hands in my hair and mine all over her.

Fucking hell, I want her so badly.

But I don’t do anything now except shuffle down on the couch, pulling her against me so her head is resting on my shoulder.

We must both fall asleep because the next thing I know, I’m blinking my eyes open to find Sage lying beside me on the couch. We’re facing each other, my arm draped over her waist and both of Sage’s hands curled up and resting on my chest. Our legs are tangled together, and of course, I’m fucking hard.

I don’t move, though. I just lie here watching her sleep.

She’s so goddamned beautiful, it almost takes my breath away. I’ve never reacted to a woman like this before, and even though it’s been a while, I know it’s more than that. Everything I am feeling for Sage is new and unexpected and seriously scaring the shit out of me.

I don’t get attached, and I don’t risk getting hurt. That’s exactly why I keep people at arm’s length. Why I push them away.

“Nate,”

she suddenly murmurs, still asleep as her hand now grips my T-shirt. She must be dreaming, and the thought of her dreaming about me only gets me harder.

I drag my hand across her hip, my fingers brushing against her warm skin where her tank has ridden up. Sage blinks her eyes open, a small smile pulling at her mouth when she finally focuses on me.

“Hey,”

she whispers.

“Hey,”

I whisper, my hand still resting on her hip.

“I fell asleep.”

I smile. “We both did.”

Sage blinks a couple more times. “Don’t you have to work today?”

“No, Alana’s taking care of it,”

I tell her, shaking my head. “You think you can eat something?”

Sage glances down, her hand letting go of my T-shirt before moving to her stomach. “Yeah, I think so,” she says.

I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead, inhaling her scent before pulling back. “Come on, then,”

I say, reluctantly rolling off the couch, turning as I discreetly adjust myself.

Sage sits up, scrubbing her hands over her face. “Where are we going?”

I hold a hand out to her, pulling her up off the couch when she takes it. I don’t let go right away, instead pulling her close. With my other hand, I tuck her hair behind her ear, smiling as I say, “Somewhere Mitch used to take me.”

Sage’s eyes widen a little, and I can tell she’s surprised, probably because she’s always had to drag things out of me, especially things about her dad. But I know that’s unfair, that it’s not all her fault she’s missed out on so many things with him. Things that I got to share with him.

Things I now want to share with her.

“Can I…”

She trails off, glancing down at herself. “Can I go like this?”

Smiling, I nod. “You can. Island life is pretty casual. But you might wanna put on a swimsuit,”

I tell her.

“Okay,”

she says, stepping back. “Just give me a sec.”

She moves away from me, disappearing into the bathroom before she returns, grabbing her purse and sliding her feet into some flip flops. I grab my phone from the kitchen counter, and we walk downstairs and over to the garage. I grab a couple of beach towels along with my board and a spare.

Sage watches me, not saying anything before she opens the door and gets in the car. I slide into the driver’s seat, glancing over at Sage beside me. She looks better now, more relaxed and happier, an easy smile on her face as she winds down the window, resting her elbow on the frame.

“You ready?”

I ask, my hand on the gear stick.

Sage nods, her smile widening as she turns to me. “Yep, let’s do it.”