Page 27 of Broken Hearts (Hibiscus Hearts #1)

We spend the evening together, sitting around the firepit, everyone sharing stories of my dad, filled with laughter and some tears. But everything about the way we’ve honored him feels right. He would have loved this, especially all of us coming together around the firepit in the yard he created.

As the night winds down, Tanner is the last to leave, hitting Nate with a fist bump and a hug, and me with a kiss on the cheek, reminding me to tell my mom he said safe travels.

It’s funny to me that Tanner never told anyone about me, but I guess that just goes to show the strength of his friendship with my dad. It wasn’t Tanner’s story to tell, and he kept it to himself. We all need a friend like Tanner, someone we can trust with our deepest secrets, someone we can trust with our life.

“You ready?”

Nate asks me, a quiet stillness passing over the yard as the fire begins to burn out, and the coals fade to a muted orange.

“I am,”

I reply, yawning, my body and my mind exhausted from the day. It will be something I remember for the rest of my life.

It’s still hard not to be overrun with guilt, but the feeling is slowly fading with each passing day. The memorial helped to ease some of it, knowing he loved me to the very end despite my flaws. I should have done the same, and from this day forward, I will hold that thought close.

Nate stands, reaching out his hand. I take it, and he pulls me up from the Adirondack chair, smiling as he does.

Weaving his fingers through mine, he leads me up the stairs to my dad’s house, which I guess is really just my house now. I swallow hard. The weight of this new life feels like a weight I don’t know how to carry. How do I manage this and my life in New York? But I can’t bear the idea of selling any of this.

I push the thought aside, knowing I have another week here to decide, even if a week feels like forever, but also a minute long all at the same time.

We get ready for bed in silence, brushing our teeth side by side. I slip into a T-shirt and my underwear, while Nate strips off his clothes, leaving him in only his boxers.

It’s simple and pure when we climb into bed next to each other, and my brain races with thoughts of how I’m supposed to sleep without the weight of his body next to mine, without his smell to soothe me to sleep, without the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

It hasn’t been long, but I already know the sound of his heartbeat as well as my own, and all the hurt and love it holds.

I can’t leave.

In the darkness of the room, I whisper to Nate. “Tell me how you ended up with my dad.”

He’s told me bits and pieces, but he’s never fully exposed himself in the way I know he never wants to do. He’s private, and quiet, reserved and shy, but at times it feels like he keeps it to himself because it’s too painful to discuss.

“I’ve told you,”

he whispers back, pulling me close to him, my back to his chest, the warmth of our bodies melding.

He lets out a sigh, burrowing his nose into my hair. He inhales, taking in my scent the way I do his. The comfort we both find in each other is something I’ve never known, something I don’t think I can ever live without.

“It’s hard, Sage,”

he now says, his words taking on a softness, a painful mutter, a struggle to get them out.

“I know it is.”

I turn in his arms, my hands resting on the hard plains of his chest, all muscles and ridges, perfection. “But I don’t want you to ever be afraid to tell me.”

“I never knew my father,”

Nate suddenly starts, almost spurred on by the darkness of the room. “He wasn’t in my life, and I don’t know if that’s because he never knew about me or if he never cared.”

I run a hand up his chest, letting my fingers trail softly over his shoulders before moving them to tangle in his hair. My other hand finds his lips in the darkness, my thumb tracing the outline of his mouth.

I don’t say anything, not wanting to stop his train of thought. I want him to tell me everything. I want to take his pain away.

“And my mom, she disappeared when I was eight. I came home from school, and she was gone.”

I try to hold back the gasp I want to let out. What kind of parent just leaves their kid? How terrified he must have been at that age to come home to an empty house.

“It wasn’t that weird. She’d disappear all the time and then just show back up. But that time she never came home.”

He pauses, his hands now tightening around me, his arms holding me to him. “I don’t really remember how I ended up in the foster care system. I think it was because I stopped going to school. Or it could have been the landlord since the rent wasn’t paid.”

Again, he stops, his fingers gripping the fabric of my T-shirt as if he’s worried I’ll leave. It has happened to him so much in his life, and it breaks my heart to think about it.

“And after that, it all went to shit. Not that it was ever great before, but I bounced around a lot, foster home to foster home. I was deemed difficult and volatile, I’m pretty sure ‘out of control’ was used often. I was medicated for ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder. You name it, I was labeled it. I didn’t need meds, I just needed someone to care. Someone to not give up on me.”

I close my eyes, pressing a gentle kiss to where his heart drums a steady beat. I want to kiss away every broken piece of him, wanting to put his heart back together because he deserves it.

“The last place I was, the guy thought he could just beat the shit out of me and that would fix everything. Turns out abusing kids just fucks them up. Who would have thought?”

Nate deadpans, his words clipped, and I feel his jaw tense. My fingers run over the tightness, and he relaxes under my touch.

“And that’s when Mitch showed up and took me in. He became my legal guardian until I turned eighteen, and since my life was such a fucked up mess to begin with, I thought he’d kick me out when I reached of age, but he never did.”

“He never would,”

I whisper, knowing the man my dad was. The thought would have never crossed his mind.

“He made me a better person. He took care of me in a way that no one ever did. That is until you, Sage,”

he now says, and my heart nearly bursts in my chest at his honest admission.

Taking his face in my hands, I can feel the wetness of his tears on his cheeks, and the tears that spill from mine, flood like a river.

“Thank you for filling the spot I left in my dad’s life,”

I murmur, pulling Nate’s mouth to mine. I kiss him, sweetly, gently, softly and without words, I feel our lives intertwine.

“Thank you for coming into mine when I needed you most,”

he whispers back, his honesty and vulnerability shining through. “He knew I was meant for you.”

I let out a ragged, soft sob, and Nate’s thumbs catch my tears. We’re a fucking mess, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nate pulls my body flush against his, holding me close until there’s not an inch of space between us. His face burrows into the crook of my neck, the hot wetness of his tears stinging my skin.

And we just hold each other, the silence of the room taking over, the comfort of our closeness washing over us.

I can feel his hard length between my thighs, his knee now moving between them, opening me up. He wants me, and without words, I understand what he needs.

I slide my underwear off, pushing them to the bottom of the bed with my feet. I reach between us, letting my fingers trail over him, dipping into the front of his boxers.

He’s hard in my hand and my thumb traces over the head of his cock, causing him to let out a gasp.

“I need you, Sage,”

he whispers into the quiet stillness of the room, and I shift, pushing his boxers down, letting him slide inside me.

I let out a tiny guttural moan the moment he’s seated fully in me, and my head grows cloudy with desire and want and need. Desperation pools heavy in my stomach, and we fuck slowly, each movement calculated and slow, pushing both of us to chase the feeling of pleasure.

Our bodies move together, our breathing growing labored and ragged, our tears long dried up and replaced with a dying need to be this close to each other, always.

I close my eyes and bask in the feeling of having him inside me, loving the way he fills me, the way his body feels like it was made for mine.

Needing more, I straddle his hips, riding him. His fingers trail over my stomach, pushing my T-shirt up, he exposes my breasts. His hands explore my body, touching every inch of it, and I can’t help but wonder how I could not have wanted this man when I first arrived.

His touch sets my body on fire, and when he dips his fingers between my thighs, his thumb rubbing slow circles against my clit, I come undone, calling out his name.

Thrusting up to meet my hips, I feel him release inside me, his movements less controlled, his need taking over as he comes inside me.

I collapse on top of him, his cock still buried inside me, and smile against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm as it begins to slow.

“Don’t move,”

he says, just as I try to shift off of him, and when I push up to take in his face, he’s smiling.

“What? Why?”

“Because right now, this is my favorite place in the whole world.”

My brow goes up, a questioning look on my face as Nate lets out a deep, sexy chuckle, his beautiful eyes shining in the low light of the moon.

“My dick loves to be inside you. What can I say?”

“Oh my god, Nathan Peterson,”

I cry out, laughing. “You are too much.”

“What? It’s true.”

His hands grab my waist, holding me in place tightly. “You’re not moving. Ever.”

“I’m not sure we can make that work. It’s going to get a little awkward when you have to go to work, and you’re balls deep inside my pussy.”

Now we’re both laughing, and the tears that stream down our cheeks are from pure laughter and happiness. I love that even when our lives are a mess, we can still laugh. He makes me happier than I’ve ever been, and I want to hold onto this feeling, the idea of leaving being pushed to the back of my mind.

We fall silent again, Nate letting out a contented sigh this time when I roll off of him, turning so I’m curled into his side. Nuzzling my nose against his chest, I take in his scent, loving how it can make my memory flash to the first time I met him. And while it wasn’t perfect, things couldn’t be more perfect now.

“Tomorrow Alana and I are supposed to scatter your dad’s ashes,”

Nate now says, quietly. “We planned it before…”

“I want you to still do that,”

I say, filling the space when he trails off. “It’s important that you and Alana get to say goodbye the way he would have wanted.”

“No, I want you to come with us now.”

His words are firm, almost a demand to them. “You need to be there.”

“I will.”

We wake the next morning to the sound of my phone chiming out, and I know it’s my mom. Her flight left early, and there’s not a chance she isn’t going to say goodbye even if it’s not in person.

Nate shuffles closer to me, his arms cocooning me in as I reach for my phone on the nightstand. His eyes fall closed, and I can hear the rhythmic sound of his breathing as he falls back to sleep.

* * *

Mom: You were meant to stay, Sage. I’ve had you for twenty-two years and now your dad gets you. Carry on his legacy. I love you.

* * *

I read her message again and again, my eyes welling with tears. What the hell is she talking about? I can’t stay.

Or can I?

I quickly begin to type out a message to her, my fingers moving frantically. How can she just tell me to stay without anything more? I need her to tell me why. I need her to tell me she’ll be okay without me, and that I’ll be okay without her.

But then I feel Nate shift beside me, and the way he moves against me when he sleeps, I don’t need to know anything more.

This is my home. This is where I’m meant to be.

I can’t even believe I’m thinking this. It’s only been a few weeks, but everything about it feels right. It’s intense and all-consuming, and I love it. I don’t care that it has all happened so quickly. Finding Nate amongst this chaos is all I need to know.

But I don’t even know how to go about this, and then my phone chimes out again. Hoping for some more of my mother’s random insight, I quickly look at the screen.

But this time, it’s a text from an unknown number.

* * *

Unknown: Hi Sage, I got your number from Tanner. My name’s Mike, and I’m your father’s lawyer. I’d like to set up a time to meet with you before you head back to the mainland. Let me know when you’re free. I can come to you.

* * *

Shit, this has been a lot for this early in the morning, and after the day I had yesterday, I don’t know if I can process any of this right now.

Without responding to either message, I toss my phone back on the nightstand, curling my body around Nate’s and let the warmth of him lull me back to sleep.