Page 241 of Broken Bonds

No, not complaining about it. Dr. Williams assures me her development is progressing normally for a shifter baby’s timeline, but she refuses to hypothesize if she can shift or what she would shift into if she does.

Maybe I need to call Alizée and ask her to take a peek.

With every day that passes, my curiosity grows. The answer to the question doesn’t matter, obviously. But it’d be nice not to have to worry about her suddenly shifting during a trip to the grocery store. And to raise her without any accidental expectations about shifting just for her to feel disappointed later that she can’t.

After we finish our breakfast—I opt for oatmeal because my stomach feels a little odd this morning—I take her out to the living room and lay her down on her play blanket. She’s already rolling over without any help and starting to commando crawl. Meaning the baby-proofing projects Todd hasn’t finished need to be completed ASAP. The biggies are done, like cabinet latches and safety plugs in all the outlets, but there are still some corners I want him to pad as well as add or reinforce safety straps on furniture that can tip.

I spend a while playing with her, showing her the activity mat Mom made for her, reading to her, and when she starts yawning, so do I. I opt to return her to her crib when she falls asleep, and I grab the baby monitor speaker, carrying it into our bedroom.

In the bathroom, I splash water on my face and realize my cheeks feel warm.

Jeez, just what I need, to get sick.

Which would be weird, because other than being mildly hungover a couple of times, I don’t think I’ve ever been sick, other than a few allergy attacks that turned into mild sinus infections, every time happening after a pack run.

Not like I could complain to my father and beg out of the runs, either. What, show weakness? That was forbidden.

When I catch sight of myself in the mirror I lean in, now a little weirded out. My pupils are…

Huge.

“What the fuck?” I lean in closer, studying them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this happen to me before. Not that I can remember.

I make sure the baby monitor is turned up to full volume and stretch out in bed, on top of the sheets, because my skin feels too tight. Not itchy, but like I really want to shift and run.

I need a nap.

Except I lie there, tossing and turning, exhausted but unable to go to sleep. The thought of jerking off is appealing, but I refuse to bug Todd for permission to do that while he’s working.

Obviously, I could still do it and he wouldn’t be upset, but I just…

I wouldn’t feel right doing it. It’s a me thing.

After an hour, I give up and take a hot shower, hoping that’ll help. It does.

For about ten minutes.

Then the restless feeling cranks up. While I can’t go for a run, I fight the urge to pace around the house. Sitting at my desk in the den is also useless because I can’t focus enough brain cells at the same time to accomplish anything.

This is fucking ridiculous.

I need to get out of the house. I need to move around.

Checking the shopping list, I realize that might be the perfect answer. Once Kylen wakes up from her nap and finishes lunch, I get her ready and shoot Todd a text that we’re going shopping in case he wants to add anything to the list.

I head for the larger department store because I want more than just groceries. With the baby secure in her car seat carrier in the cart, I start walking the aisles, trying to rein in my frustration at people who are moving slower than I am.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I want to snap at them. Including one cute guy I pass who’s a clueless human, but I bone up when I get a good look at his ass.

I blink. What the hell am I doing?

Yes, I enjoyed the hell out of myself at initiation. It more than slaked my slutting needs to last me a while. I’ve been thinking about asking Todd if he wants to invite any visitors to the fun room for us to play with, but he’s been so busy with the ranch expansions, and I’ve been swamped with catching up on paperwork that I keep forgetting to mention it.

Maybe I need a session in the fun room.

It’s been two days since we last did anything because we’ve both been busy, and adulting really sucks, right? He has no problems mentioning he’s horny, but that even he hasn’t been saying anything shows how crazy life’s been.

Regular life. Not people trying to kill us life.